2014 In-Season Accuracy: 58.30% (26th out of 127 Experts, 60.70% Highest, 50.40% Lowest).

Week 15 Results: 64.10% (24th out of 128 Experts, 68.20% Highest, 53.50% Lowest).

Accuracy Rank Experts Highest Lowest Score +/- Rank +/-
Week 1 61.80% 22 134 66.10% 48.20%
Week 2 54.00% 35 135 61.30% 42.10% -7.80% -13
Week 3 57.40% 88 128 67.10% 44.30% 3.40% -53
Week 4 56.50% 48 128 61.10% 42.80% -0.90% 40
Week 5 56.50% 70 131 69.40% 47.00% 0.00% -22
Week 6 56.30% 27 133 63.10% 41.50% -0.20% 43
Week 7 59.70% 33 132 64.30% 46.50% 3.40% -6
Week 8 56.30% 67 130 64.80% 45.20% -3.40% -34
Week 9 60.30% 23 131 66.00% 46.10% 4.00% 44
Week 10 57.80% 68 130 66.90% 48.40% -2.50% -45
Week 11 52.10% 64 131 67.60% 42.60% -5.70% 4
Week 12 59.10% 29 129 66.20% 42.40% 7.00% 35
Week 13 58.40% 73 130 71.40% 48.40% -0.70% -44
Week 14 56.30% 59 131 63.70% 40.30% -2.10% 14
Week 15 64.10% 24 128 68.20% 53.50% 7.80% 35
Totals 58.30% 26 127 60.70% 50.40%

And now, your Week 16 Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

The continuing saga of the dumpster fire (outside an abortion clinic) known as the NFC South surely has captivated all of us here at Razzball (I’m pretty sure it’s about 78% of the content I’ve been producing the last month), and, what I would expect to be the entire nation. Some men just want to watch the world burn. And we are those men. And our world are the Saints (6-8), Panthers (5-8), Falcons (5-9), and the Buccaneers (2-12). Remember, this division features three teams vying for a playoff spot and four teams vying for a top-10 draft position. That doesn’t even seem mathematically possible. So with that in mind, what’s a better prime-time event than to pair up a team from this division to go against the hapless Bears? With an immensely disappointing year, Marc Trestman, Jay Cutler, and the Bears switch from the cover two to the cover none defensive scheme have all been at the center of blame. And yet, they would have been vying for a home playoff game last night if they were in the NFC South. I’m not sure if that should make them laugh or cry. While the game started out derpy, it soon settled into an ugly and boring one-sided game. Perhaps the perfect teaser for Thursday Night Football, which features the Titans and Jaguars. Which will make me feature Jameson in my mouth. More like whiskey-boarding, amiright folks?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

Odell Beckham Jr. is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

There are so many things to talk about after Week 15 is now in the books. Even the goal posts are changing! We saw the beginning of the “Johnny Football Shutout Sadness Suck Balls Gabbert F*ck Up Noun 27.3 Quarterback Rating”, the ending of the Jim Harbaugh era in San Francisco, and of course there’s the NFC South, where the Panthers (5-8-1), Saints (5-8), and Falcons (5-9) are now all within a game of each other for the division lead AND in line for a top-10 draft pick. If that isn’t a dumpster fire, then my friend, you’ve never seen a dumpster fire. The Colts, Broncos, and Patriots clinched playoff appearances, which I believe is the 987th consecutive year these three teams have done it. And then there’s, of course, the growing legend of Odell Beckham Jr.. And don’t be surprised that every Giants game from here on out will follow the formula of: Interception, derp, injury, derp, Odell Beckham does something awesome, interception, Odell Beckham does something even more awesome, derp. Oh, almost forgot. And derp. Honestly though, the Giants offense right now is basically “throw it to Beckham”, and it has to be stated, it’s the best they’ve looked in years. Imagine how great it would be if Tom Coughlin stopped hiding Eli Manning’s Capri Sun…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cowboys-vs-Eagles

Last week, I presupposed that a child named “Playoff Implications” grew up, joined the Army, and was promoted to “Major”. While that’s probably a sexy example of the word-play I bring to you all day long (and your mothers), if last week had major playoff implications, this week we have, um, general playoff implcations? Maybe Admiral? Sure, I don’t know Navy Maritime Ranks, or to be honest, much of anything, but I can say that without a doubt, we are in for some interesting football the next three weeks. With roughly 56 teams still in the hunt, the race to the finish line starts today. And wouldn’t you know it, the same could be said in Fantasy Football as well. Tie-in alert: FULL RED. Can the Dolphins stay alive by beating the Patriots? (HAHA.) What about the Texans in the same scenario against the Colts? (Eh, maybe.) The Chargers have a chance to take hold of the Wild Card if they beat the Broncos, led by a new found rushing attack to mask Chad Henne’s Peyton Manning’s waffling duck attack. And then there’s the two spotlight games, 49ers vs. Seahawks and Cowboys vs. Eagles. While it might be fun to see if Pete Carroll will run the score up past a 100 against San Francisco, there are some derptastic possibilities in a game featuring Tony Romo (example) and Mark Sanchez (example). And these two… strong in the derp they are…

Week 15 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

So, that was an interesting game. If you don’t like touchdowns that is. To be fair, we weren’t promised anything, and with Thursday Night Football hosting at least 485 blow-outs thus far, I guess last night’s game could be considered a welcome change of pace. Sort of like going from watching a giant monster truck crash into a mobile home to watching paint dry. Yeah, a lot like that. But hey, it’s not the Cardinals or Rams fault. They actaully seem to be quite similar; good defenses, less-than-stellar offenses, and, of course, there’s the injury bug. Sam Bradford is old news at this point, and Carson Palmer is, just, well, old I guess. Andre Ellington is a recent casualty. And, of course, Drew Stanton had his ankle implode in the third quarter, ushering in the age of Lindley. Ryan Lindley. Just think of it this way: we are living in a world where Lindley might possibly end up leading the number one seeded team through the playoffs. Yeah, note to Cardinals players… you can go ahead and schedule all those free weekends in January now…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.80% (29th out of 127 Experts, 60.60% Highest, 49.70% Lowest).

Week 14 Results: 56.30% (59th out of 131 Experts, 63.70% Highest, 40.30% Lowest).

Accuracy Rank Experts Highest Lowest Score +/- Rank +/-
Week 1 61.80% 22 134 66.10% 48.20%
Week 2 54.00% 35 135 61.30% 42.10% -7.80% -13
Week 3 57.40% 88 128 67.10% 44.30% 3.40% -53
Week 4 56.50% 48 128 61.10% 42.80% -0.90% 40
Week 5 56.50% 70 131 69.40% 47.00% 0.00% -22
Week 6 56.30% 27 133 63.10% 41.50% -0.20% 43
Week 7 59.70% 33 132 64.30% 46.50% 3.40% -6
Week 8 56.30% 67 130 64.80% 45.20% -3.40% -34
Week 9 60.30% 23 131 66.00% 46.10% 4.00% 44
Week 10 57.80% 68 130 66.90% 48.40% -2.50% -45
Week 11 52.10% 64 131 67.60% 42.60% -5.70% 4
Week 12 59.10% 29 129 66.20% 42.40% 7.00% 35
Week 13 58.40% 73 130 71.40% 48.40% -0.70% -44
Week 14 56.30% 59 131 63.70% 40.30% -2.10% 14
Totals 57.80% 29 127 60.60% 49.70%

And now, your Week 15 Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

You’d probably think this was a hard fought game if you glanced at the score. And you’d be partly right, say 19% of the game was hard fought? 18%? With the Packers leading at the half 31-7, Monday Night Football fulfilled, certainly, my expectations, and it looked like we were all set to enjoy some Matt Flynn time. DENIED. Why? Because Dom Capers, that’s why. The Falcons went on to score 30 points and bring the game to 37-43. With a stop necessary, the Falcons went into Mike Smith’s patented “Swanson Hungry Man Beef Pot Roast dinner” defense, allowing a 12-yard run to Aaron Rodgers, and then a 41-yard run to James Starks, which essentially ended the game with 01:37 left. It can be said that the Falcons competed hard, but it’s probably more important to point out that with a 5-8 record, they are still in first place. Jesus.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

aVYvNMJ

If you didn’t notice, or if you didn’t read yesterday’s post, we are now travelling the December part of our football journey. And it’s almost as if a few weeks ago, some misguided couple named their child “Playoff Implications”. And let me tell you guys, when this kid grew up, he joined the military. And yesterday, that child reached the rank of “Major”. And the concept of that wonderful anecdote I just shared was manifested in the most ridiculous way possible… in the NFC South. Surprise! On a day that saw back-to-back shutouts for the Rams, the Jets still Jets’ing, it was no surprise to see the Saints lose and lose soundly at home to just an awful Carolina Panthers team. The Atlanta Falcons, with an unlikely win tonight (against the Packers at home), can build an insurmountable divisional lead and first place with a 6-7 record. AND they could probably do the same by losing! Heck, Carolina could take the division with a 6-9-1 record if they wanted to. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT ANY TIME. If only the division wasn’t comparable to reading dildo reviews…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

NFL: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns

That’s right folks. We’ve arrived to Week 14, what is tacitly accepted as the starting point for Fantasy Football playoffs for the majority of leagues and formats. And coinciding with this “fantasy playoff” week are several key match-ups that will also have an enormous affect on the NFL playoff picture. Which, if you had already guessed from the title, is a picture that still has the Bills and Browns on it. While there are several other games that deserve a spotlight, like the Steelers vs. Bengals. Panthers vs. Saints (LOL), Ravens vs. Dolphins, Chiefs vs. Cardinals, Seahawks vs. Eagles and the Patriots vs. my Chargers, it seems almost silly to bring up those two teams. But their season’s rest on the outcome against the Broncos (who are at home against the Bills) and an incredibly talented Colts offense led by Andrew Luck, (with Coby Fleener in the caboose, BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE HE BELONGS), against the Browns. An unlikely loss by either the Broncos and Colts could dramatcially shift the playoff picture into some kind of synergistic paridigm, only thought to exist in the most complciated of corporate and free enterprise verbiage. Yes, as you can see, the drinking got started early. Some point last week… So let’s get this Sunday started…

Week 14 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

So that’s a wrap folks. All the 8-8 jokes… they’re over, done, the end is here. The Cowboys have won their ninth game of the year, something they hadn’t accomplished since 2009, including three 8-8 finishes in the past three years. But that’s okay, I actually researched this on Google and it turns out that Romonobyl actually has four reactors, which means there’s still plenty of time for the Cowboys to deliver their always consistent dose of schadenfreude during the holidays. I know this, because science bro. Their gift to all of us, if you will. The Bears in the meantime, well, wow. Total self-destruct mode has been achieved. I mean, with some improvement, this team could be as good as a slightly better but still not very good team, so there’s that, I guess. The real question I keep asking myself is: if a Bear doesn’t give a sh*t in the woods, does any one hear it?

Please, blog, may I have some more?