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The first month of the season is already gone (or I guess more accurately, one quarter), but however you’d like to describe the passage of time this football season, one thing is eminently clear: there are a lot of undefeated teams. Six in fact. They are the Bengals, Broncos, Falcons, Packers, Panthers, and the Patriots (because there is no God). Out of those teams, it is my expert pedestrian opinion, only two teams have staying power to continue at an elite level all the way through to the Super Bowl, and that’s the Packers and the Patriots (because of the aforementioned God being missing in action.) The Bengals will once again go 12-4 and then 0-1 in the playoffs (until they tell me otherwise), Peyton Manning’s arm will probably fall off once December comes around, the Falcons have feasted on teams that measure right below suck, and the Panthers are pretty beat up. Plus, I don’t believe the NFL accepts playoff teams from the NFC South unless they are under .500. This kinda-sorta (close enough!) segues into the interesting Seahawks/Bengals game. Can Dalton continue playing above the Dalton line? Will Seattle’s offensive line continue to be about as effective as what recovery water is to concussions? Learn the answers to these questions and more!

Rankings have been updated for today’s games and can be found here.

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  • Martavius Bryant tweaked his knee Monday during practice and will be doubtful for Monday Night Football. As an unbiased Chargers fan, I am okay with this.
  • Antonio Gates is expected to have a big role in Monday’s game. No word yet if they are talking about the football game or a basketball game.
  • Marshawn Lynch has been ruled OUT for today’s game against the Bengals. Keep Rawlin’ Rawlin’ Rawlin’ Rawlin’ what? I’m sorry. You’re right. But to be fair, we all let Limp Bizkit do that to us. We are as much to blame as they are…
  • I’d recommend playing Kamar Aiken this week, seeing as how he’s the only receiver the Ravens have left, but his stock is rising even more now that Tashaun Gipson has been ruled out with Joe Haden being questionable. Can the question be, why have you been so terrible?
  • Karlos Williams has been ruled OUT today, which means it’s time to grab some Boobie. Or some Dixon, whichever you prefer. I don’t judge.
  • Julius Thomas is expected to make his first start of the season today, and will not be limited. This comes from Adam Schefter, so it’s totally accurate. 100% of the time, 60% of the time.
  • From Julius to Julio (sorta like Caesar to Cesar, amiright?), Julio Jones is listed as questionable but will start. But his hamstring will be an issue.
  • And the bane that is owning Alshon Jeffery continues to haunt us as he is listed as OUT from his hamstring issues.