In the words of one of the more quotable presidents in recent memory, ‘ya fool me can’t get fooled again’. Read that with a Texans accent and you’ll get a better feel for who we’re going with here. Still no? Eh, ok, I’m not here to give you a recent presidential history lesson so I’m dropping the subject and moving on to the real story. Namely Nick Foles. Yes, the Nick Foles that put up a terrible line against a terrible defensive secondary in the Dallas Cowboys just two weeks ago which started the tailspin conversation of Chip Kelly’s offense ‘not working’ and being overrated. I get the negativity. Coming into today’s game, the Eagles hadn’t scored an offensive touchdown in 10 quarters. Yes, Tampa Bay scored an offensive touchdown or two in that same span. Yes, so did the Jaguars. Heck, a guy who only played on 19 snaps for his own team in week 8 – Marvin Jones – scored 4 touchdowns. What the heck was going on here? Oh NFL and your wily ways. When will we ever understand that this game ebbs and flows and just when it seems a team is the worst in the league that just a few adjustments could turn it around? Foles had a terrible day in Dallas, make no mistake. But then he got concussed and Vick stepped in for week 8 and it was clear he wasn’t healthy enough to be playing and in stepped 3rd stringer Matt Barkley. Well, I don’t know about you but it’s not very often I expect my third string QB to step in and lead a scoring drive. I am bringing all of this up to say don’t be worried about being Fole’d again. The kid and this offense can function at a high level. No, his channeling of the ghost of Peyton Manning – he’s dead to those who have him on bye this week – isn’t going to happen week in and week out. But I am saying the kid is good and can be good and will be good as he threw TD passes to 4 different receivers and finished 23/29 for 409 yards on the dot, 7 TDs and zero INT. Two QB leagues…well, he should already be owned. But if I have some iffy QB like Matt Ryan at this point, I’d jump at the chance at upside here and go with Nick. If you don’t put a waiver or some monies down on him this week, well…you don’t get Foles again. NO NO! In other news from the fine Sunday that was week 9 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…
Riley Cooper – When presented with Cole Beasley and David Nelson as your other options, you go with Cooper. Or so I told J-FOH. After a 5/139/3 day with 18 rushing yards to boot, I sure hope he listened to me. I know I did in a couple of leagues. I like listening to me sometimes. The QB threw 7 touchdowns so yes, I’m glossing over DJax – 5/150/1 – but you knew he was good coming into the game. Cooper with a QB not named Vick starting under center has put up these numbers: 15/347/4 on 19 targets. Foles stays, Cooper becomes a fun WR3 moving forward.
Chris Johnson – I don’t ever remember CJ being a volume play. A lot of people were down on him once they heard Shonn Greene would get ‘about 15 touches a game’ to which I said, ‘good, CJ won’t get as beat up and can stay fresh for some big plays’. I know the opponent was perfect for CJ to go off against as he finished with 170 total yards and 2 TDs to go with 3 receptions but he’s had good matchups and soiled them this year. I’m saying things be different, y’all, and to embrace the two-headed rushing attack in Titans country. Yes, I’m also telling you to own Shonn – 66 total yards and a TD – as there’s plenty of touches to go around.
Zac Stacy – It was a battle of teams that couldn’t stop the run. Only difference being that STL only had one guy that TEN couldn’t stop while the Titans had 2. Ah well, Stacy did his job: 27/127/2 on the ground and 6/51 on 7 targets through the air. It’s official: Zac is an RB maniac.
Keenan Allen – Went for 8/128/1 as the Chargers offense never really got into much of a groove. Not a bad day for it being grooveless, though. With 11 targets on the day, I’m sure you’re still as keen on Allen as I am.
Adrian Peterson – *Peaks at boxscore and sees 177 total yards and a touchdown*. Yup, he’s still good.
Rashad Jennings – Stop me if you’ve heard this before but Limp DMC went down with an injury. Jennings went for 15/102/1 on the ground and 7/74 through the air as his replacement and you got 12 yards on 5 carries as a DMC owner. Yes, this was against one of the worst defensive units. Yes, that’s why Rashad did what he did. No, you can’t get a redo. Yes, you can get angry at yourself for drafting him.
Jimmy Graham – Well, I said to sell him because of his injury so of course a week he gets 2 more TDs, plays more snaps and finishes with 9/116 on 12 targets. Words, I have none. I’m still selling because of the nature of the injury but I’m still getting top dollar while I’m at it. If it’s any consolation to you, I believe what I say and sat him today in favor of Jordan Reed. Yeah, prolly gonna lose there…
Tim Wright – With Mike Williams out for the remainder of the year, Wright is gonna be a nice TE play from here on out and he didn’t disappoint today: 4/58/1. Oh and Mike James rushes for 158 on 28 carries and chips in 2 catches for 8 yards. Oh and this little jump pass to Crabtree. Yes, TB still lost. Doesn’t mean there isn’t any weapons here to exploit.
Chris Ivory – I can’t remember who I said it to earlier last week but I said I liked Ivory to have a revenge game against his former team. After 18 for 139 and a touchdown, I’ll say revenge complete. Excluding the Bengals debacle of a game where no one for the Jets was good, Ivory has 2 100 yard rushing games and a touchdown. And yes this is the guy I had much love for when I posted my Chris Ivory Sleeper post earlier this summer. I’m guessing Rex Ryan finally read it. It took ya long enough to get him touches, you footsie playin’ perv! Hopefully this keeps up for the team that picked him up after you dropped him for Bilal Powell…oops.
Alfred Morris – These three TD weeks by random RBs who aren’t The Butler are really cheesing me off and I don’t even own him anywhere. Oh well, he still netted you 121 and a TD but seeing that D. Young line in the box score makes pretty much everyone who plays this game want to give up and play in traffic no doubt. Why not spell out D. Young’s name you ask? Because I refuse to state the name of pure evil out loud.
Pierre Garcon – Earlier this week he complained about the passing attack in Washington. I think he was heard. No TDs but hard to hate on 7/172 from Peter Waiter. May I have another sir?
Tom Brady – Ruh-Roh, looks like Brady has learned how to pass again. And whaddayaknow, he has healthy players like Amendola (4/122/1) and Gronkowski (9/143/1) playing for him. Amazing how that works. A lot of negativity surrounding Tom as of late. It hasn’t all been him, folks. It looks like he has his big three finally with Aaron Dobson in full swing (4/130/2) as ‘that other guy’ for Brady. It’s gonna be an interesting stretch run for the Pats when Vereen gets back and by interesting I mean ‘when you face Brady in fantasy, make sure and not to prematurely wet your pants’.
Stevan Ridley – The day I understand how Bill will use Ridley is the day I’ll have sold cold fusion. A week after not even getting a snap in the first quarter, Ridley goes for 26/115/2 and 3/9 through the air along with a fumble. But after the fumble, Bill still kept playing him. Like he always NEVER DOES. I think Bolden’s either hurt or in the dog house for mysterious things like Ridley was earlier this year. Seriously, networks, you want a drama guys would watch: feature the weekly off-field goings on of all the Pats running backs. The deceit. The betrayal. The other catchy words that make people watch crappy dramas. Cash money.
Greg Little – Yeah, of course Gordon and Cameron drop duds and we get the Little (7/122) and Bess (3/24/2) show. Before you ask, yes I’m interested in Greg…but only a little. Pun point! Davone? He’s Bess left alone…DAILY PUN DOUBLE!
Jerricho Cotchery – Leave it to the oldest receiver with a first name that’s of biblical age and a last name that sounds like ‘crotchety’ to be the top Steelers receiver on the day (7/96/3). Sanders and Brown were fine too but that’s what happens when someone throws for 400 yards. Heading into SNF, three QBs threw for 400 or more yards on Sunday and 5 for over 350. That TEN vs STL matchup felt like a throwback game.
Marlon Brown – With Torrey Smith blanketed all day by Haden, it had to be someone else for the Ravens and today it was Brown. He’s still too young to hang your hat on from week to week but who’s sitting on your bench? Austin Pettis? Pick him up!
Tony Gonzalez – Had a great first half with 6/81/1 but went silent with the rest of his mates in the second half. Coincidence? I think not. Atlanta can no longer be described as ‘Hot-lanta’. They’ve went from the Dirty Bird to Dirty Birdy pretty quickly.
Jason Witten – Looks like Romo realized Witten still exists this week: 8/102/1. You’d think for how old Jason is, Tony would have a harder time forgetting he was there. I mean, Dez was literally yelling in his year last week. A clear sign of old age if you can’t hear your teammates on the sidelines.
Russell Wilson – I kinda hate him right now. Yes, you heard that right. As a Seahawks fan, I’m having a hard time loving this guy. Of course, I have a hard time loving the offensive game plan of late in general. Seriously, no way do we fall behind like this if we ground and pound all day and Wilson put us in bad spots all day just as much as he did good. Yes, I own Lynch in quite a few leagues. Yes, I’m giving the ‘hawks sideline the middle finger right now in solidarity with BeastMode.
Sunday Night Football – I have you covered for a while with JayWrong currently trying to beat an indecent exposure charge in a local Toys ‘R’ Us. I know the checkout lady was cute, Jay, but she wasn’t asking about YOUR banana in pajamas. I’m kidding of course. Jay did that at a 7-11 after downing his 3rd bottle of 3 dollar wine. I don’t think he was even provoked to do so. And I’m pretty sure the heavily bearded cashier was not amused either. But I digress, the reality is Jay is working the Baseball side of Razzball for a while as the main baseball guy over there, Grey, is getting hitched. Apparently his wife to be didn’t like the idea of her hubby spending the honeymoon hunched over a laptop answering questions about November mock drafts. Come to think of it, he shouldn’t have to do that. Seriously, November mock drafts in baseball? You’re sick, bruh. Anyways, down below you’ll see the festivities of tonight’s game (that’s what she said!) and will do so for a while until Jay is back on this side of the site.
Case Keenum – He’s a wild child and I love it. Lotta comparisons being flung about concerning this unique Case. I’ve heard Ryan Fitzpatrick, I’ve heard Tony Romo, I’ve heard Brett Favre and I’ve even heard ‘a bit of Drew Brees’ but that’s namely because he’s not a huge QB. I think the thing to latch onto after a night like he had – 350 with 3 TDs and 26 yards rushing – is there’s gonna be some bad that goes with this style of play. He’s totally James Dean out there…no, I said ‘Dean’ not ‘Deen’. Kids these days…I’m saying he’s a rebel without a cause! There’s where the Romo/Favre comparisons make sense to me. He’s gonna have some 3 INT games with this style, no doubt. Now where he learned to drop back 5 miles to make a pass, well maybe that’ll be his ‘signature move’ until someone tells him it’s a terrible thing to do.
Andre Johnson – Guy had 4 TD catches all of last year. Didn’t have any coming into the night for 2013. Caught three in tonight’s game to go with his 9/229 night. Buh-bye Schaub…
Arian Foster – Left after the first series after experiencing back issues. He entered the game with hamstring issues. All this to say that he did play even if the box scores don’t say as much. Yeah, I’d be a little worried as a Foster owner right now. Ben Tate filled in cracked ribs and all for 22/81 but looked like he wanted to take on as much contact as my wife does after a day of football and beer from me.
T.Y. Hilton – I told you to BUY a couple of weeks ago. I hope for all that is good and holy you did. After a TY-fecta in the endzone going for 7/121 on the night, I think we can squish those nasty DHB rumors, no?
Trent Richardson – Never has a running back made me question my sanity more than T-Rich. I’m going full on Van Damme up in this. That’s not a looping gif, that’s really Jean on a Sunday, BTW. For cereal though, I am angfrustrannoyed at this point with how he’s played, how he’s being used and how I’m being used while being played by this whole mess.