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If you decided to buck the industry trend this year and draft a quarterback early, there’s a 66 percent chance you are happy. Sure, Aaron Rodgers put up an expected dud in Week 1 against the Seattle Seahawks, but since then, he’s been the model of consistency.  There’s also a guy by the name of Peyton Manning that you may have heard of before.  Yeah, he’s pretty good. But then there’s Drew Brees.  Brees was a consensus top three quarterback during drafts, and he went as high as the first round over Manning and Rodgers in certain drafts.  But so far this year, Brees has left much to be desired for fantasy owners.  Thus far on the season, Brees has nine touchdowns, six interceptions and hasn’t topped 375 yards or 23 fantasy points in a game yet.  You’d sign off on those numbers over five games for many quarterbacks, but not for what it cost to get Brees.

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percy-harvin

Hunh? Yeah, that was my exact reaction. And I would have typed this up sooner, but it’s Friday and my typing gets noticeably slower when there’s a drink in one hand, and a bottle in the other. But we all make sacrifices, especially for a story that will assuredly shock everyone… the Seattle Seahawks have agreed to trade Percy Harvin to the New York Jets for a 2015 conditional pick, which will range from a second-to-fourth round pick.

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In what has become a seemingly weekly occurrence the most interesting handcuff in the land happens to be playing in the Thursday Night Game. I think this happens just to spite me. It’s as if the Football Gods force injuries and ineffectiveness on starters the week before they play on the thirstiest of all days. This week’s example of my curse is, of course, former (?) third stringer Brandon Bolden. The man who I had pegged to be taking over the Stevan Ridley “Big Back” role in New England. I figured if Bolden failed, then James White was probably next in line. But of course Bill Belichick did the most Belichickian thing ever and activated Jonas Gray from the practice squad, gave him a few carries, and leaned heavy on Shane Vereen. It looks like Bolden is more valuable to the Pats as a special teamer than a runner, and I have no idea what James White‘s issue is. I was shocked that he was inactive and you have to figure he’s deep in Belichick’s doghouse at this point. It’s really surprising considering how good he looked in pre-season and camp. The only ownable back in this scenario is Vereen.

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An enthralling Thursday Night Football game? What is this dark wizardry you speak of? In a game that immediately started off with a Patriots touchdown in the first minute and a half, reminding us that it was, in fact, Thursday night, the Jets managed to respond with a scoring drive of their own. Sure, that drive and the next two successful ones all ended in field goals, but there was a level competency that I didn’t think the Jets were capable of. Of course, things fall apart, the center cannot hold, something-something, wax poetic, and the 27-25 Patriots led game came down to a field goal at the 58-yard line, which ended up being blocked. There were your usual Jets/Patriot hallmarks though, including such timeless moments as: Rex Ryan angry! Jets excruciating hard-earned first downs! Brady not getting called for intentional grounding, ever! (The one to Vereen and to Gronk, I was closer to the ball watching from home.) And of course a dirty below the knees hit on a quarterback not named Tom Brady that doesn’t get called! But that’s now two games in a row on Thursday that have been quite entertaining, perhaps teasing us for an even better match-up between the Chargers and Broncos next week. Which means it’ll probably suck.

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AFC Championship - Baltimore Ravens v New England Patriots

As Rex Ryan continues to countdown the weeks to unemployment, the Patriots must again try to overcome adversity with left guard Brian Winters and running back Steven Ridley suffering year-ending injuries. Though, sitting in the AFC East, I wouldn’t exactly call it “adversity”. Probably more of a handicap to make it more fair for the Jets, Bills, and Dolphins. The Patriots plan on going with the three-headed beast of mediocrity in Shane Vereen, Brandon Bolden, and James White. They all expect to share time, which pretty much assures that James Develin will probably have the best night. Boston just got a hard-on after reading that. I would normally say something about the Jets here, but if I start a sentence that begins with Geno Smith, I’ll be too depressed to carry on. But it is Thursday Night Football, so this game should be competitive. For about 45 seconds.

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I will forever despise Austin Davis for what he did to me on Monday Night football. I speak not of the touchdown pass he threw in the first half (yippeeeee), but of the pick-6 he gifted to the Niners that beat me in fantasy ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! Austin Davis and the entire Rams organization is a total joke, and I hear they’re moving to L.A. For the City of Angel’s sake, let’s hope that they leave Davis in St. Louis along with Jeff Fisher (one of the most overrated head coaches in NFL history along with Brian Schottenheimer, one of the worst play callers in NFL History). We all knew the pick was coming, and boy did it come… all over my face! Just the interception by itself would have at least given me a tie, but that’s obviously too much to ask for on the Elder Gods’ favorite son’s birthday. That embarrassingly pathetic play lost and won thousands of fantasy match ups this weekend, and I’ll probably never get over it. Kudos to you if you won with the Niners defense on that same play. Cool Beans. You really earned that one, guys. Let’s get this over with so I can gorge myself on my leftover birthday cake, which will hopefully place me in a state of hibernation until next week. Yea, most depressing birthday in Beddict history. They say time heals all things… except fantasy football losses, those stick with you forever.

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Johnny Football? Remember that guy? Of course you do! Well, you do if you watched the NFL Draft… or if you’ve watched that 4-lettered sports television network during the NFL preseason… or if you’ve been within earshot of one of Jerry Jones’ interviews over the last six months. Johnny Football had it all: a Heisman Trophy, a slew of Texas A&M records, fame, girls, you name it. Then it all sort of came unraveled… There was dropping to the late 1st round of the NFL Draft, that pool party, that picture of him tightly rolling some money, the preseason middle finger, and finally, Brian Hoyer getting the Cleveland Browns starting quarterback spot over him. This wasn’t a surprise, though. It would only take a few weeks for Hoyer to play himself out of the starting job… Wait, Johnny who? I don’t remember that guy…

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Just imagine, if there were multiple crows in a group, that piece would be murder on Jacksonville.  Oh hello there, didn’t notice you reading this.  Well, I am about as calm as a Buddhist cow right now, and the whole play-on-words stuff is just so much fun that I just wish I didn’t hock my banjo.  So, last week was good, if that’s why you’re here, just careful on the back. (I have wings back there that are a little premature and tender.)  One of these days, this whole spotlight on guys who aren’t getting enough starting love will take off, and I will tour the country on my tandem bicycle with my sidekick, Vito, who may or may not have been a “cleaner” before witness protection.  So this week, we turn Isaiah Crowell, the complimentary running back in Cleveland, who is an overzealous fart from Ben Tate away from fantasy woohoo-ness.  Even with Tate being healthy, I still recommend you find a spot for him.  I can’t type it all in one sentence, so you are going to have to stay and read some letters that form words, that form sentences, and then paragraphs.  What else are you doing?… Working. BWAHAHAH.

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2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.7% (3rd out of 21 Experts, 60.6% Highest, 44.5% Lowest).

We are now six weeks into the NFL season, a time when most fantasy squads should be officially locking down their rotations and planning for bye weeks. Instead, we are dealing with a run of major injuries the likes of which have not been seen for a long time. Losing guys like Sean Lee and Navorro Bowman before the season was bad enough, but since Week 1 we’ve lost guys like Derrick Johnson, Stephen Tulloch, Tyvon Branch and Jairus Byrd. Things continued to get worse last week, with Jerod Mayo going down for the year with a leg injury, and honestly IDPs everywhere have to be afraid that they’re next. Even the seemingly indestructible J.J. Watt looks vulnerable to a hamstring injury if he keeps running for long TD returns.

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