I apologize for my absence the last two weeks. I had some major final exams and they kicked me in the ass. I am a better human after finishing it however; I have not seen natural light from the sun in 20 days. The doctor told me I had to wear sunglasses at all times until yesterday; the worst experience to be forced to look like a hipster. Story time! This guy from Greece, let’s call him Pat, bought a five-step ladder in Canada and had it sent to him in Greece. Because he is smart, he fell of the small ladder and subsequently sued the manufacturer and the store that sold it to him because he felt it had two defects: defective material and no warning labels. Experts deemed the ladder perfectly made and the judge told Pat that because an adult of average intelligence would know how to handle himself on said ladder there is no need for warning signs. In addition to this there are glue stains where the warning signs were, so also ripped them off. This man was then given criminal time and had to pay punitive damages. Fraud = bad. Don’t be this guy.

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Week 16 is here!
Happiness and cheer!
Fun for all that champs they call
Their favorite time of year!

Let it just sink in. The nostalgia of that animated tune from 1965. You’ve heard it before right? Here’s a refresher:

So, I changed the lyrics a bit. What you’re looking for is a big ol’ ‘You’re Welcome,’ right? For real, though, you can’t watch that and not feel a certain je ne sais quoi for this time of year! It’s the best, hands down.

As you read this Christmas has come and gone, and in its wake we’re left with New Years Week 16 of the NFL Season, or as fantasy footballers call it: Championship Week! And if that doesn’t bring ‘happiness and cheer’ to each of you I don’t know what will. Huh? What’s that? Oh, you didn’t make your league’s championship? Well, poopsickles! Good news is this entire article is about to focus on how you can still play all of your football fantasies out in Week 16… FanDuel!

Each week we offer a 22-man Razzball-only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-5 finishers! Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the top of the standings? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 16 (Sun-Mon Contest)!

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I’ve spent a total of 45-60 minutes trying to come up with a good introduction for this article, trying to talk about everything from Jewish activities on Christmas, to learning about past mistakes in DFS and applying that to the next week, and nothing has stuck. So I’ll mention one thing before I begin the actual article. Apparently Derek Carr is playing against Amari Cooper in a Season-Long Championship Game, and Cooper finished with 2 receptions for 10 yards, with the longest reception being 7 yards.

I’ve about had it with Fantasy Football.

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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If you’re reading this, then you’re in your league’s championship game. Either that or you play in one of those weird leagues that end in Week 17, in which case I’ll still have rankings for you next week, but my thoughts here essentially still apply: Don’t get cute. You’re still playing because you have a dominant roster that has likely caught a few breaks here and there en route to a successful season. Remember who got you here, and don’t overthink things. That’s not to say that every lineup decision is going to be easy, but don’t let a good matchup for a guy like Justin Durant blur the fact that Bobby Wagner is still the correct play.

Here are a few things to watch for in Championship Week:

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Period Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
Week 15 56.9% 13 out of 127 62.7% 41.9% Top 10%
Week 14 55.1% 26 out of 126 60.3% 44.0% Top 20%
Week 13 57.2% 82 out of 126 65.2% 47.2% Top 65%
Week 12 62.2% 20 out of 126 65.9% 47.3% Top 20%
Week 11 54.8% 46 out of 128 63.7% 39.0% Top 40%
Week 10 56.0% 85 out of 128 65.5% 48.7% Top 70%
Week 9 61.2% 34 out of 130 67.9% 48.1% Top 30%
Week 8 56.7% 30 out of 128 66.5% 42.9% Top 25%
Week 7 57.8% 37 out of 129 66.8% 43.1% Top 30%
Week 6 54.0% 84 out of 131 65.2% 45.7% Top 65%
Week 5 54.4% 37 out of 130 59.7% 41.9% Top 30%
Week 4 56.4% 12 out of 135 59.9% 41.1% Top 10%
Week 3 59.1% 18 out of 134 65.0% 42.1% Top 15%
Week 2 53.4% 85 out of 135 65.2% 46.2% Top 65%
Week 1 56.8% 54 out of 137 62.8% 46.3% Top 40%
2015 57.0% 24 out of 123 59.7% 51.3% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

Here are your Week 16 Rankings and FanDuel Week 16 Cheatsheet…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are at Week 16, which means we are at championship week! So if you’ve gotten it that far in your respective leagues, it’s clearly because you’ve been listening to my advice and reading my writing every week. If you didn’t make it, sorry, but maybe you should listen to me more. But, alas, there is still one more week where who you have on the bench for options and who should have dropped is important and that is what I’m here to help with!

Firstly, if you still own Andy Dalton, Andrew Luck, or even Peyton Manning on your teams, it’s time to let go. They are either not going to play due to injury or just can’t play anymore (ahem, Peyton). These quarterbacks are taking up valuable bench space that could be used for widely available Tyrod Taylor or Ryan Fitzpatrick, who both are coming off solid weeks this past weekend and have plus matchups this weekends for their respective teams. Tyrod helps you with his lack of bad decisions and his legs, while Fitz helps you with his high yardage totals and three of his weapons (Marshall, Decker, Powell) are fully healthy and doing great.

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Today’s entertainment comes from Alice Cooper, who sang He’s Back for the movie Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. Gotta love the 80’s. If you’ve never watched the Friday the 13th movies, all I can say is… For the unfortunate few, a brief synopsis goes like this: Jason, the killer who wears a hockey mask, never dies. He’s worse than the Energizer bunny. The fourth movie of the series was titled, The Final Chapter. The next year, A New Beginning was released. Good times Hollywood. All in all, a total of 12 movies for the series were made. This brings me to the segue for fantasy football. There’s been a certain player that has been hyped incessantly for the past two years. If only he got his chance, the pundits would say. Even when a team cut him, the narrative would remain positive. Now he can showcase his talents, they would say. Rather than ask why he was cut, the “Truthers” would look for the team that would be the best fit for him to finally dominate.

Who is this masked man? Christine Michael.

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Elihand

It’s adorable that Eli thinks if he grows a beard, it’ll help with his perpetual eight-year-old looking face. You have to be at least 14 to do that…

[Puts hands on hips every single time my team screws up, since I had nothing to do with it. And everyone around me doesn’t measure up to my exacting standards that I haven’t somehow been able to communicate to the team over the last umpteen years, mainly because of them. Totally.] -Tom Coughlin. And thus ends the Giants season, (most likely), but don’t worry, the dream still remains alive that the NFC East division (which I also sometimes call Derpville, Population: NFC EAST), won’t have a team that will finish above .500. All that stands in the way is competence from Washington. Haha, we all know what that means. Also, Cam Newton threw another set of about 20 or so touchdowns in the first half and finished the game with 5,258. While that’s partly the Giants being the Giants, it’s hard to deny that Newton has had a MVP-caliber season on a team that’s expected to go far into the playoffs. It’ll be interesting to see how the actual vote settles, with Tom Brady doing Tom Brady-like things and other, whiter players in the mix. I’m sure we can depend on the complete objectivity and unquestionable ethics of all the sports writers to come through. And since the award will be based on the merits, the MVP will probably go to… Peyton Manning.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 15’s Sunday games…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I’m sure everyone has figured out, we’re knee-deep into our Fantasy Football playoff schedule, and for those of you who’ve made it this far, congratulations! And for those of you who didn’t, well, you’re not here to read this anyhow, so whatever. But no worries, Fantasy Baseball has already started to warm up, but for those of you who remain, here are your updated Week 15 Rankings.

Each week we offer a 22-man Razzball-only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-5 finishers! Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the top of the standings? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 15!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After one week feeling under the weather (in which I mostly slept and watched the 1972 AFC Divisional Game), I am back covering Week 15 in the Daily Fantasy Football scene. Well, being off the grid for a week, what did I miss? Did Thomas Rawls, Andy Dalton, Tyler Eifert, T.J. Yeldon, Vincent Jackson and Jonathan Stewart all suffer injuries, some season-ending? Yeah right!

You’re kidding.

Let’s review the hectic week.

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