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 teddybow5

Well, Thursday Night Football… what can I say? The average margin of victory was 28 points (and if I actually knew what math was, I’d have to guess it would probably be around 30 points now after last night’s game), and I still can’t figure out if these blow out games are boring… or just plain sad. One thing’s for sure, Thursday Night Football is where NFL parity goes to die. The Packers opened up the first half with five, I repeat, five 3-and-outs, but still managed to lead the game 28-0. The Vikings couldn’t reach their own 45-yard-line until late in the second quarter… and then, when they did, it was on a Matt Asiata run where the end result was a fumble. Because of course. And it only got worse from there. For example, I think the Vikings are still punting as you’re reading this.

 

Vikings – 10, Packers – 42 

Aaron Rodgers – 12/17, 156 YDS, 3 TD.

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Matt Flynn – 3/5, 22 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, -1 YDS. Flynn showing off that great talent that made him the starter at both Seattle and Oakland.

Eddie Lacy – 13 CAR, 105 YDS, 2 TD and 3 REC, 27 YDS. Eddy Lacy looks like he should have a Sherpa running behind him with an oxygen bottle. Especially since he out-gained the entire Vikings team in yardage in the first half.

James Starks – 12 CAR, 46 YDS and 2 REC, 2 YDS. Sure, he had an expanded role, but most of his limited damage came at garbage time. When he spelled Lacy early in the game, I thought for a second that the Packers had traded for Trent Richardson.

Jordy Nelson – 1 REC, 66 YDS, 1 TD. At what age should you say, “Guys, stop calling me Jordy.”?

Randall Cobb – 3 REC, 34 YDS, 1 TD.

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Christian Ponder – 22/44, 222 YDS, 2 INT and 3 CAR, 15 YDS, 1 TD. I still always imagine Christian Ponder as a blind anthropomorphic panda, but that’s only because he has the situational awareness of a refrigerator… then again, maybe Ponder is more like a less interesting and more easily defeated Riddler. Regardless, in case you weren’t sure before, job is safe Teddy.

Matt Asiata – 15 CAR, 72 YDS, 1 FUM. Whey to go, Asiago. Not very gouda.

Jerick McKinnon – 7 CAR, 24 YDS and 3 REC, 22 YDS. I had him pegged for about 10-15 touches a game, and he barely made it there, but he remains a high quality match-up flex play, only because I ran out of words to describe what he exactly is.

Cordarrelle Patterson – 2 REC, 8 YDS. Reminding us that, no matter how good you are, this is Thursday Night Football. That being said, he did suffer what appeared to be a hip injury which forced him to leave the game. It doesn’t seem major, or, rather, it doesn’t seem to be causing his disappearing act since Week 1. Hold out hope here, since there’s really nothing else you can do.

Greg Jennings – 2 REC, 31 YDS. Was targeted just four times, but to be fair, I don’t think Ponder can actually throw the football more than 10 yards. We should probably trade the Ponder to ISIS and see how they do with all the inaccurate bombs.