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Two things were on my mind entering last night’s Thursday Night Football game: First, why are the Chargers wearing a new shade of blue? Second, what soul shattering way would the Chargers lose this week? And if there was a third thing, then I probably would have wondered which Chargers player would get the weekly season-ending injury. But let’s just handle the first two here since no one died last night, besides my liver. (Happens all the time.) So, these color rush uniforms… More like color FLUSH, amiright? Seriously, I’m glad the era of bulb televisions are over and done with, otherwise the Broncos jerseys would have burned a hole into the screen. And you mix in that blue from the Chargers, it’s almost as if someone threw crayons in the washer before the game. And then there was the actual game, which offered us your prototypical Chargers performance… middling at times, amazing at times, all of it masquerading as a vehicle to setup yet another heartbreaking loss in the fourth quarter. What would it be this time? A Rivers pick-six? Another bad snap on a field goal? An alien invasion? A fan rushing the field mid-pass during a game-winning TD with three seconds to go nullifying it all? Oddly, none of that happened. Instead, some field goals, some Hunter; Henry!, and a safety along with the Broncos kind of just fading in the fourth quarter from a combination of costly offensive holding penalties and incurring the penalty of Trevor Siemian holding their offense back. WORD PLAY. Call me, ladies.

C.J. Anderson10 CAR, 37 YDS, 3.7 AVG and 4 REC, 34 YDS, 8.5 AVG. That outfit makes Anderson look really fat. Oh, and for all the Devontae Booker (5 CAR, 46 YDS, 9.2 AVG and 2 REC, 7 YDS) hype, here’s the final running back snap count: Anderson – 57, Booker – 15 (out of 73 total). And keep in mind, CJA had another two huge runs taken back via holding calls too, so I’m not worried about that backfield after this game.

Travis Benjamin3 REC, 17 YDS. Your Cleveland is showing, Travis.

Philip Rivers18/29, 178 YDS, 6.1 AVG, 1 TD, 90.9 RTG. – So this means he should be expecting twins in about a nine months, right? He’s literally almost there- having a kid for each day of the year.

Trevor Siemian30/50, 230 YDS, 4.6 AVG, 1 TD, 77.9 RTG and 1 CAR, 1 YDS. The Trevor Siemian who is “Big Lots version of Alex Smith” is back, back again.

Demaryius Thomas5 REC, 35 YDS, 7.0 AVG. The old school color rush uniforms made the Broncos revert back to their ’80’s level ineptitude. That’s my working hypothosis as of now. (#Analysis.)

Melvin Gordon27 CAR, 94 YDS, 3.5 AVG. It’s nothing personal, but I sure would like for Melvin Gordon to get arrested for indecent exposure cause then we could start calling him “Flash” Gordon. I’m telling you guys, I know I was off by one year with Gordon, but he looks really really good over the course of a game. I’ve been buying for a while, and I think you should too.

 

 

Final Thought

I have waited all my life to see a successful onside kick after safety. Now, I can die content.