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Monthly Archives: November 2013

Sky

Robert Givin You Thirds

November 8, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 185 Comments

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It ain't even Turkey day, y'all, and someone out there is serving up plenty. Sure, there are plenty of other days in the year where you take your third helping of something but we all know Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for gluttony...right? IDK, I keep getting this whole holiday thing confused by my 5th serving of App-umpkin pie with whip cream mash up. Coaches always told me I should stretch before the game, am I wrong to assume they meant my stomach before the Lions vs the Packers? Ok, ok that's extreme hyperbole, but at least by the time Oakland vs Dallas hits, my pants shouldn't fit, right? Of course, I digress/meander/trail away from the point of this post. Robert Griffin, III has been a mystery wrapped within an enigma, shrouded in intrigue and usually has left fantasy owners feeling a bit frustrated this year but I don't think that was the case tonight. After 281 passing yards on 24/37 passing and three passing TDs to go with 44 yards rushing, I think you RG3 owners can rest easy tonight. It's been a very up and down year for Washington which can be blamed on a multitude of things. QB who wasn't ready to start the year? Check. Poor coaching decisions? Check. Doesn't part one go with part two? Check. Bad defensive play? Checks all around. It's been a bad year for Washington on multiple levels and RG3's year has been filled with the feeling of 'what could've been' for most fans. Here's to week 10 being the start of something beautiful for both him and fantasy owners. In other news from TNF for week 10 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season...

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Kevin Kumpf

Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Ten For 2013 Fantasy Football

November 7, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 20 Comments

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Before I get started talking IDPs for this week, it’s time to put you all at ease. I’m sure many of you spent your entire week tirelessly coming up with nicknames for Robert Quinn and Chris Long, as I suggested last week. But it turns out that they beat us to the punch. Though no announcers ever mention it, the two dominant pass-rushers in St. Louis have nicknamed themselves Black Thunder and White Lightning, and together they are Thunderstorm. I love this for too many reasons. First, it sounds like an ice cream flavor, and the Rams should immediately capitalize on that in their concession stands. Second, and most importantly, it pays homage to one of my favorite sports movies, Major League 2. Tell me you don’t get chills when you see this scene. Chuck Sheen and Randy Quaid at their best if you ask me.
Sky

Weekly Rankings: A Cutler Above The Rest

November 7, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 231 Comments

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I'm scaring myself at this point. I used to take some wild swings at these rankings. Am I getting old and boring like the rest of these fantasy experts? I don't shave my ear nor nose hair yet. I don't put it on AM radio yet. Nor do I enjoy reading the newspaper in the morning. Ok *Pinches self* I'm still me and I still like being wild and spontaneous. But my rankings tell me I'm seeing things the way others do. Sure, there's a few plus 5 or 6 and minus 5 or 6 but none of those wild 10+ swings. I'm gonna need to hit the bars hard tonight, get rejected by some hot chicks and punched out by some young punks to prove I'm still young and alive to myself now...oh well, no different than a typical Thursday I guess. But enough about my counseling session for next week, let's look at this mess of rankings. Jay Cutler is probably my biggest swing in my rankings this week as clearly I think he'll return strong if he returns at all. Just to clarify, if McCown is the starter, maybe he moves down to 11th or maybe 12th but last week proved he can play this game so the movement is minimal. Besides that, I find myself believing in MJD more than I probably should this week but can you blame me? Titans D loves to give up rushing yards. They hand them out like dealers hand out free molly pops at raves and his recent weeks have given hope there's still value in the Oompa Loompa. Conversely, Gore loses some steam in my book with the Panthers in town. Sure it's a home game but that doesn't make Carolina pushover. In wide receiver country, Pierre Garcon creeps up to #2 against a Vikings secondary that failed medical school: apply pressure if you wanna stop the bleeding, y'all! Meanwhile in D/ST country, Oakland stays high for me despite the thrashing they took from the Eagles last week. Why you ask? Giants I answer. Wanna know why they call it the Big Apple? Because they're good for a lot of big TOs. Kickers? Sure, let's talk about kickers. I called a psychic hotline and they told me the order of which the kickers would go this week but I had to read between the lines. First they told me they were getting a strong George Wendt vibration which clearly stood for the Bears kicker. Then they said they could hear a Volker Bertelmann composition playing which clearly stood for Hauschka. Then they told me they were hearing 'Cat Scratch Fever' obviously meant Nugent. I don't know, I think I nailed it this week. Best first 3 minutes free, each additional minute $1.95 apiece I've ever spent of my life. Yeah, I don't believe it either but still, it's a better theory to roll with than most. But enough about a position we don't care about, let's clear the air. Here's my rankings for week 10 for the 2013 Fantasy Football...
Loudon

Week 10 Players to Play/Avoid: Foles Gold

November 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 53 Comments

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So you need to find a temporary replacement for Aaron Rodgers huh? Is no one safe anymore? Luckily, there are some QBs with pretty solid matchups this week that might be available to you. Jake Locker plays Jacksonville and we all know how great Jacksonville has been this year. There’s also Eli Manning who plays against Oakland. I’m not saying he’s gonna light up Oakland like Nick Foles did this past weekend, but I’ve done some research on this Eli guy and it turns out he has two Super Bowl rings so he should be competent enough. Also, speaking of Foles, he’s still available in well over half of leagues out there and against a Green Bay team that has given up a lot of points this year and won’t have Aaron Rodgers to eat up the clock, Foles should have plenty of time to throw another 7 TDs, or at least maybe 3.
JB Gilpin

DraftKings – Nick And I’s Quest For Millionaire-hood

November 6, 2013 | DraftKings | 12 Comments

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As Nick and I discussed on this week's Podcast, we're jones-ing for a ticket into the huge Million Dollar Week 17 Finale DraftKings is hosting, where hopefully one of us can be crowned a millionaire.  You'd think entry into a contest where you can win a million bucks would be expensive.  You'd think you'd have to wear an expensive suede bathrobe and eat caviar whilst setting up your DraftKings lineup.  But no!  There's all sorts of satellites you can enter, like the one Nick and I will be playing this Sunday that's only $2 measly bucks!  The winner of the $2 Qualifier gets an automatic entry into the Millionaire Grand Finale, a whopping $1,500 value!  So I am pumped for this week at DraftKings and hoping to hippity-skippity like Charlie Bucket and get that Golden Ticket.
Sky

Buyshawn Lynch

November 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 224 Comments

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The season is at the midway point and as we journey into the second part of our lonely trudge into fantasy fame in some leagues and fantasy infamy in others, it gets harder and harder to get in on someone and call them a buy low. Too much work has been done at this point to point at a player and say 'that guys underperforming' or 'that one's clearly playing above his head' or 'he should've had a V8'. We've seen too much and know too much to be fooled by a bad game or two...but it never stops us from trying. And in the spirit of that, I'm here to talk to you about Marshawn Lynch. I've been ragging on the 'hawks coaching staff of late and their offensive game plan and I think it's fairly warranted. This is a team known for its run game, great defense and the heroics of RW3 when they're needed. Lemme be the first of many to tell you, the heroics of a game generally aren't needed until the 4th quarter. Heroics usually don't watch their running back rush for nearly 50 yards on one drive in the first quarter only to turn the ball over on an interception and then go away from the run for another 2 and a half quarters to top it off. What I'm saying is, after 8 carries for 23 yards against a team defense that gave up almost 200 rushing yards to the Titans a week later, Lynch should've been feasting on the Bucs but he didn't really get the chance to. Well I'm here to say I think the OC in Seattle has learned their lesson - ok, I'm hoping they have - and will go back to the style of ball that has put Seattle in the driver's seat of the NFC West. Lynch is still on track for a good season - Nearly 1,650 total yards and 12 touchdowns is his current pace - but it only takes a couple of weeks without a touchdown for owners to get anxious. So go calm their fears and taste the rainbow while you're at it. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football...
The Guru

Jam it or Cram it: The Trash Talkin’ Smack Down Edition

November 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 114 Comments

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I'm not one to talk the trash or put someone in a verbal vice-grip, but when it comes down to knocking off my fellow RCL writers I feel the urge to gloat. Just a little. Despite my Red Sox World Series hangover of 2004 proportions, your humble-but-nonetheless-bloviating Guru took down JB's undefeated team that is cleverly named "JB Gilpin" last week and he spent most of Sunday crying to me on the phone about "bye weeks" and how his cat doesn't "understand" him. Sorry JB, I don't know how to help you with Mittens, but bad things happen when you assemble your roster after 14 wine coolers. The one and only "Tis Tehol" also fell to your turban clad friend last week. Of course Tehol was too busy checking the progress of his receding hairline to set his roster again, but I'll take the win. Tehol, are you so mesmerized by your Drakkar drenched banana hammock that you can't find a tight end to start? However, my first place 6-2 "Scotch Fueled Gurus" lost to an unknown 12-year-old "expert" somewhere in Pennsylvania Amish country whose trash smackin' prose made Richie Incognito look like Maya Angelou. The kid told me my turban smells like my grandma's...well, you know, then he beat me 20 points. I feel so bullied. *one lonely tear drops* However, the jammer crammers have been coming through for us this year. Last weeks jams of Terrelle Pryor and Tim Wright were solid plug 'n' plays. Let's forget I suggested jamming on the New Orleans defense, okay? Overall, we have hit on about 70% of our jammer/crammers in any given week. I'm not ready to surrender my turban just yet, my Razzballer's. And I certainly won't hand it over to a prepubescent, Fall Out Boy loving kid that sleeps in his Ben Roethlisberger footie pajamas while his mommy rubs his heiny and tells him how special it is. By the way, kid, my dad can beat up your dad. It's time to jam it or cram it.
JB Gilpin

RCL Football Update: Week 9

November 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 35 Comments

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2013 RCL Football Well... All good things come to an end.  And if you were cheering for me to lose, then shame on you!  Because I had a legit shot at an upset before Aaron Rodgers got hurt last night.  But alas I fall to 8-1 and shockingly 4 of the 5 8-0 teams suffered their first loss this week.  That means, yes, Yes, YES, YESCHEESE (!!! sorry, RCLgasm) is the last undefeated team in RCL land, and will be atop the standings at 9-0.  You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory. RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: Tons of big scoring this week in the RCLs with more teams surpassing 200 than ever before, and topping all of those teams was the Naysayer's in the Monday Morning QB’s league, dropping knowledge and 216.68 points all over the RCL stratosphere.  Riley Cooper and T.Y. Hilton led the charge at WR with Keenan Allen also in the mix, then big games from Jason Campbell filling in for Kaepernick on the bye and Stevan Ridley has the Naysayer's immortalized in RCL glory.  Even with Knowshon Moreno on a bye too!  Naysayer's is still climbing out of a hole at 4-5, while the very tough kitchen stinks barely edged out Stick'm by 4 points to move to 8-1 and near the top of the RCL standings.
Sky

Aaron Rodger’ed Fantasy Owners, No One Was Jolly

November 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 247 Comments

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It's amazing how many euphemisms we have in this world for the act of coitus. Some would say too much, others would say not enough but needless to say, urban dictionary is pretty much 80% sexual references so I'll say there's plenty to go around either way. And after the night Aaron Rodgers left on his fantasy owners and the receivers by proxy, I'm sure there'll be more innuendos built to describe the act of getting funked over. Aaron left the game early in the first quarter with a left shoulder injury. Seriously, I'm typing this about 4 hours after the fact and that's really all that can be shared at this point. Rodgers left the game with the doctor in the 1st and the doctor returned without Rodgers in the 2nd quarter and McCarthy gave a sneer when the news was relayed to him. But again, we have zero news at this point to really say what exactly the problem is. Then Aaron returned to the sidelines late in the 3rd in a jacket with no clear sling involved in the ensemble which further led to the questioning of just how injured he was. Now Rodgers played with a separated non-throwing shoulder in 2008 and didn't miss a game so we could speculate that's not the issue. At this point, it's TBD whether your team is FML or FTW ROS as a Rodgers owner but I'd be making backup plans. Foles available? No? How about Keenum? Grim times, I know. Of all things people count on from their top tier QB, it's 16 games. Here's to the innuendo not ending in your end-o, friends. In other news from Monday Night Football...
JB Gilpin

The Razzball Football Podcast – The One With The Allure Of A Special Guest

November 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Razzball Podcast | 7 Comments

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Well Nick tried to work some Podcast Hosting mojo, and pumped up a special guest that never showed.  That's how to promo Nick!  Maybe I'm just bitter because at the end he fired everyone. What is this, the Podcast Apprentice?  You need a haircut Nick.  Or maybe us regulars are all supposed to feel special...  Despite our Podcast Czar running the show like, well, a Czar, Nick and I talk NFC notes including the historic Nick Foles game, Jay calls in and goes over AFC news including his terrible Chargers losing in OT, and Sky lets us know who to grab off the wire.  Nick then relives his college days from the 1930s and pulls a G.O.B. at the Bluth company Christmas party.  I'll accept Nick dressed in a banana suit next week as an apology...  Good this week and in your push to the playoffs!
Sky

Foles Me Once, Shame On You But Foles Me Twice, Well…

November 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 168 Comments

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In the words of one of the more quotable presidents in recent memory, 'ya fool me can't get fooled again'. Read that with a Texans accent and you'll get a better feel for who we're going with here. Still no? Eh, ok, I'm not here to give you a recent presidential history lesson so I'm dropping the subject and moving on to the real story. Namely Nick Foles. Yes, the Nick Foles that put up a terrible line against a terrible defensive secondary in the Dallas Cowboys just two weeks ago which started the tailspin conversation of Chip Kelly's offense 'not working' and being overrated. I get the negativity. Coming into today's game, the Eagles hadn't scored an offensive touchdown in 10 quarters. Yes, Tampa Bay scored an offensive touchdown or two in that same span. Yes, so did the Jaguars. Heck, a guy who only played on 19 snaps for his own team in week 8 - Marvin Jones - scored 4 touchdowns. What the heck was going on here? Oh NFL and your wily ways. When will we ever understand that this game ebbs and flows and just when it seems a team is the worst in the league that just a few adjustments could turn it around? Foles had a terrible day in Dallas, make no mistake. But then he got concussed and Vick stepped in for week 8 and it was clear he wasn't healthy enough to be playing and in stepped 3rd stringer Matt Barkley. Well, I don't know about you but it's not very often I expect my third string QB to step in and lead a scoring drive. I am bringing all of this up to say don't be worried about being Fole'd again. The kid and this offense can function at a high level. No, his channeling of the ghost of Peyton Manning - he's dead to those who have him on bye this week - isn't going to happen week in and week out. But I am saying the kid is good and can be good and will be good as he threw TD passes to 4 different receivers and finished 23/29 for 409 yards on the dot, 7 TDs and zero INT. Two QB leagues...well, he should already be owned. But if I have some iffy QB like Matt Ryan at this point, I'd jump at the chance at upside here and go with Nick. If you don't put a waiver or some monies down on him this week, well...you don't get Foles again. NO NO! In other news from the fine Sunday that was week 9 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season...
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