Sawbones Scribings Week 16 – Who Can You Trust?

In most leagues this is championship week. It also means 80 percent or more of players are done for the season. For those who still remain, let’s take a look at the key injuries that can make or break your title dreams. Adrian Peterson (foot, groin) was limited in practice the last couple days as was Toby Gerhart (hamstring) and Matt Asiata didn’t practice either so the Vikings’ running back situation looks like a big mess heading into this week against Cincinnati. Today should provide clarity as to who will do the running against the fifth-best rush defense in the league. If Peterson’s available, you play him. Gerhart is more of desperation play and Asiata looks like someone to avoid all together. While Asiata scored three times last week, keep in mind his low yardage totals. Asiata should only be used in TD-only formats if both AP and Gerhart are out.

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The Handcuff Report – THIS IS THE END, MY 12 READERS, THE END!

by: J-FOH

I found it fitting to quote the Doors classic "The End" to signal the finale to our FFB season. If your championship is next week then I feel sorry for you because your commish is really bad at his/her job and deserves all the condemnation that is coming to them. Now back to this whole "The End" thing, this is it for me, next week is my awards show, which reminds me that I need to grab my tuxedo T-Shirt from the dry cleaners, and all we have are the real life playoffs. *makes hip thrusting motions at monitor* My Broncos are in, what about your teams? Now is the time to show all your "skills" and hopefully the people you choose will play all four quarters, get their projections +, and they don't suffer some game ending injury that makes you look terrible at fantasy because when your guys get hurt it's all your fault. How stupid must we be to play a guy that gets hurt, didn't you get the crystal ball that came in the box of Captain Crunch. We need to keep a few things in perspective, play smart but not over think ourselves, look at the floor vs. the ceiling if it's close and keep a box of tissues with us at all times on Sunday. The best thing about this week is we have no TNF, which IMO, is the worst thing the NFL has done since allowing this jackass back in the league. Oh wait, that's right, they have no integrity...or soul, they can play god with fines for questionable hits and suspend people for smoking some weed but this a**hole gets to play every week? WTF is wrong with this picture?....besides that dudes hair. Hey look it's a fantasy paragraph below, let's check it out. Actually two paragraphs down are fantasy sports, the next one is fantasy becoming reality, go ahead Kid A, insert your snark now.

Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Sixteen For 2013 Fantasy Footbal

December 19, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 14 Comments

by: Kevin Kumpf

It’s hard to believe that the season kicked off a full 4 months ago, but here we are: Championship Week. I’ll be back with some rankings next week for you crazy kids with 17-week schedules, but for the majority of the free world this is it. I’m sad to say that I did not reach the finals in any of my five leagues. As much as I love IDPs, unfortunately there is an offensive side of the ball as well, and I did a miserable job drafting and setting my offensive lineups this year. But enough of about me, you’re here for some IDP cheer just in time for the holidays. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: When making turkey chili, always cook for one hour less than directed. Wait, wrong piece of advice. Let’s try again: In the fantasy playoffs, don’t get cute, start your studs. Joe Mays and someone called Dekoda Watson each put up huge days last week, but you’re not starting them over the guys that got you here. With that in mind, here are my top players at each position for Championship Week:

Bet the Farm: NFL Week 16 Betting Contest

December 19, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 6 Comments

by: Josh Carey

Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 15:

Weekly Rankings: Red Head Redemption

December 19, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 243 Comments

by: Sky

Oh week 16, why do you come along and always make things weird? It's championship week, could you f'ing not? The Fantasy Football season was trending along just fine, thank you very much, and you come in to a crowded room where everyone is dancing and fart as loudly as you could without even so much as a hint of being embarrassed. Miley Cyrus comes in like a Wrecking Ball, you just come in like William Hung. So of course in a week like this, I just have to rank Andy Dalton in a spot that makes me feel ridiculously odd but what can I say? You know the old addage: red on the head like a dick on a Dalton...or maybe not. IDK, you know I hate this guy but I try not to let my emotions get in the way when the sitch fits and this one fits like a Christina Hendricks top: it covers everything but definitely leaves you wanting to see a bit more. I think I'm mixing my analogies now so let's just say why we like Andy now, shall we? First, he's a different type of ginger at home with a 14:5 TD to INT ratio and almost a 20 point swing in QB rating. What makes this matchup all the bestier is the team they're playing: the Vikings or as I like to call them 'the second worst defense against opposing QBs behind Dallas'. That's really hard to fit on a jersey, though, so we'll just call that their nickname. There's no reason Dalton shouldn't put up top 5 numbers this week in my opinion. In other rankings ranklings, wanna know what else the Vikings can't defend? Yeah, opposing running backs...oh heck who are we kidding, they can't defend anything. The Illusionist GOB should have a field day, especially in PPR formats as Minnesota gives up 6 receptions a game to opposing backs. Consider BJGE a nice flex option by default while we're at it. Meanwhile, Jordan Toddman is asking for a High Five. In other news, Greg Little...wow. Again, Championship Week, you're making it weird. At Tight End...c'mon fellow rankers! Ertz gets a prime matchup and he usually takes advantage when they're presented. May not be a huge day but a red zone target and about 40 yards total and we're good for TE. My sweet Carolina defense call? The Saints just had their mardi gras beads handed to them on the road by the Rams. NOLA isn't the same away from the dome and I think the Panthers pounce at home for a division lead. And regarding Jacksonville: when others Jig, I Jaguar. Kickers were selected by sending them to the mall for last minute christmas shopping on a Saturday. Only those who came back to retell their sad tale were chosen. But enough about the joy of the season, let's talk shop. Here's the rankings for week 16 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season...

Week 16 Players to Play/Avoid: Charles in Charge

December 18, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 45 Comments

by: Loudon

Sure, you got a few points out of him last week, but if you want to win your league championship game, you need to bench Jamaal Charles. Oh good, you’re still reading. Benching a player just because someone told you it’s the right thing to do is the fantasy football equivalent of jumping off a bridge because your friend told you to. If you even considered benching Charles after reading that first sentence, you need to get outside more. This is your team. As I’ve said all season, if you have a good feeling about someone, start them! Sure, Adrian Peterson is coming off an injury and has a tough matchup in Cincinnati, but are you going to bench the guy you likely drafted in the first round or traded some serious talent to acquire? Of course not! Sure, Zac Stacy has a tough game against Tampa Bay this week, but he’s done great things against tough defenses before and the Rams are handing him the rock often so there’s no way you can bench him now.

DraftKings – Someone’s Gonna Be A Millionaire

December 18, 2013 | DraftKings | 2 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

It's here. Finally. The Finale. The big tamale. The Carne Asiata. The ginormous 2013 Fantasy Football Millionaire Grand Final is this weekend, where the overall winner is going to win a million bucks. A thousand thousands. A million... ones... Imagine making it rain that much, Pacman! In a futile attempt all year, I unfortunately did not win a satellite ticket into the tourney, so I'm playing in a cheapy and not in line for the million. But hopefully you have enough to enter the contest or have won any of the several satellites to get in there. And if a member of Razzball Nation becomes a millionaire, maybe you buy me a couple crown and cokes? Yup, I'm gonna be "one of those" if you're a winner!

Thinking Forward: Put Your Backfield In Christine Condition

December 18, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Thinking Forward | 71 Comments

by: Sky

Look, it's your fault. You're playing through to week 17 as your championship. No one put a gun to your head to make it that way. You went into your options, selected weeks 15 through 17 as your playoffs so now you get to talk about backups that no one has talked about all year. Well ok, we've talked about Christine Michael in passing. He had a strong preseason for the Seahawks but we all knew the story would end there. Seattle is Beastmode country and we all know it. But what happens if the Seahawks lock up home field advantage through the rest of the NFC playoffs this Sunday? What are they playing for in week 17? I mean, I get that it's at home and they'll want to keep that pristine home record intact but are they really gonna roll RW3 and company out there for abuse in a game that doesn't matter much all day? I'm gonna have to say what my magic 8 ball says when I ask if I'll become a famous hand model: unlikely...you've got a couple of hammer fingers...and why don't you clean your nails? My Magic 8 Ball gets a bit personal sometimes...but nevermind all that, we're here to talk about Christine. I have a hard time believing Turbin gets to run the show. He's still too important for the playoff run to put him out there too much and so in steps Michael. Though it's hard enough to predict the future in weekly rankings, I'm here trying to predict how a team will do in two weeks and whether or not they'll even run their starters out on the field so give me some slack if this don't work, y'all. Given that the Rams are in the bottom five for points against from opposing RBs, Christine is set up for a nice day if he finds the field. And if he goes off, we'll have to spend the rest of the off-season hearing about him going in the 2nd or 3rd round in 2014. Joy. But let's finish this show off. Here's the rest of the ideas I've got brewing for week 17 of this crazy 2013 Fantasy Football season...

Jam it or Cram it: Last Call in the Razzball Lounge

December 17, 2013 | Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 78 Comments

by: The Guru

Welcome once again my festive fake footballers to the Razzball Lounge. Championship week has arrived. As the Fantasy Football season comes to it's merciful end, it’s time for one more visit to the lounge where we fake football scribes have gathered for our annual Razzball Holiday Spooktacular. It's that time of year where we don our Santa hats, show off our Christmas balls and toss back warm eggnog spiked with a combination of Canadian Club and rohypnol. The ladies love it! As championship weekend approaches, we find a humbug filled Sky slowly rocking back and forth muttering the words "muscle hamster" over and over. There's JB settled under the Christmas tree like a drunken Linus, "Did Santa bring me a Luke Kuechly jersey?" At the jukebox we find J-FOH dropping quarters, playing "The Hanukkah Song" for the fifth time and singing, "drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah..." *bottle smashes above head* Meanwhile, the one and only Tehol Beddict asks this young lady, "Wanna see my Festivus pole??" And here at the pool table is your humble holiday sweater wearing Guru contemplating his final jammer/crammer list of fantasy ballers that’ll score you the Shiva, bragging rights and maybe enough cash to spend New Years in Vegas. *closes eye, takes aim, sinks eight ball off two rails, drops shot glass into pint, downs boilermaker, throws up on waitress* “God bless us, every one.”

RCL Football Update: Week 15

December 17, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 10 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Razzball Nation! The semis are in the books, and it all comes down to the championship. Unless, of course, you lost by 10 in the Writer's League because someone just happened to have Justin Tucker... Bitter! Public service announcement, the standings won't be updated until the playoffs have completed, and the grand champion will be announced after Christmas, probably December 27. Yes, even Razzball gets some Holiday time off! You can still check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you stacked up against your Razzball competitors before the playoffs in your quest for an RCL title.

Ravens Played With Their Offense Tucker’d Between Their Legs

December 17, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 87 Comments

by: Sky

Seriously, I shouldn't have to be writing this lead. This is fantasy football, right? We're talking about a fake sport where we want to crush our opponents with an amazing game or two from some star players, right? Well Baltimore don't care, people. This offense has been stuck in neutral all year and - no surprise - so has most of the fantasy worth surrounding the team. Even good matchups haven't been exploited to the extent they could be. Detroit's secondary should've been torched tonight and they were able to move the ball plenty on jump balls. It was like watching the 2012 season all over again. I like to think of it as the chuck and pray offense. Well, last year a lot of prayers were answered. This year, not so much. Baltimore can move the ball fairly well but haven't been able to do much of anything with their opportunities once they get close in. And that's why I have to talk about a kicker. Well, that and the Lions offense was a bit of a bore so that didn't help. Either way, Justin Tucker has probably helped more than one fantasy team get to their respective Super Bowl this week and I gotta tell ya...I'm not happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you got in. Yes you. You know I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth and back. So here's to you...you. But no, it's just further proof to me that kickers have entirely too much sway on the outcome of this game we play. Of Justin's 6 field goals, I'd say 2 of them were legit and the rest was just more Ravens offense failure. I already went over my disgust with the kicker position this summer. I don't think I can cover it any better. Ok, I probably could've but much like Allen Iverson and practice, we talkin' bout kickers. Not a game, no not a game...kickers. So here's to you, the team that is strutting its stuff on their way to the big game on the big leg of a kicker who may not even finish top 5 at his position next year if the Ravens can figure out what the end zone looks like. In other fantasy news...ok, ok I know you all wanna know where I went last weekend and why I had JB covering me for the week 15 rundown. Well, I got to go to this little thing called the Playboy Mansion. You know, no biggie. Just me, my Fantasy Baseball compadre Grey Albright, and the handsome SOB I pretended I was all weekend Tehol Beddict. Since there's no Thursday Night Football, we might see what we can do to give a taste of the event we went to on Friday but I hold no promises as I should probably be sleeping for the next five days just to make up for the evil I did to myself with an open bar. I think even my fingers have a hangover right now...neverthewhoo! Let's get on with it...

The Razzball Football Podcast – The Last One Where We Mock 2014

December 16, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Razzball Podcast | 2 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

2013 is [mostly] in the books! And it's our final episode of the year. Instead of sapping up for the finals, we decide to end on an optimistic fashion forward note where we mock the first 2 rounds of the 2014 draft. And I have to say, it got pretty crazy in there. Nick mocked me, I mocked Nick, I apparently made a joke JayWrong made last week. It was a mess! Can you tell we drank away our playoff losing sorrows with egg nog and gin? A lot of uncertainty will make next year's draft a lot of fun, and probably nothing close to the lunacy we went through today... If you're in the finals, good luck in getting that championship and I hope everyone had a fantastic 2013 season!