Breaking: Adrian Peterson Indicted, Gordon’s Suspension Possibly Reduced to 10 Games

Did he beat his kid until he was purple? Jesus.

So, as if there hasn't been enough negative news going around these parts, apparently, the Vikings running back wishes to keep the dominoes going. In other news, thanks for making me hungry for pizza too. Ya jerk. Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has been indicted on charges of child injury in Texas, according to multiple reports.

Learn more about our 2024 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

The best blend of accurate and bold weekly projections for QB/RB/WR/TE + PK + Defensive Teams and IDP as well as a kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!

Handcuff Report, Week 2: Tinder For Handcuffs

by: Geoff

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I'm too old and married to have ever used Tinder. I hear the younger guys in my office quite often comparing conquests and potential... ummmm partners. Working at a company with a bunch of 20-something males, the topic comes up with some regularity. I like to think it's sort of like the wavier wire for skanks, male and female alike. No worries peeps, ain't no shame in being a super hoe! This is a judgement free zone, well unless you're this guy. Then I 'm judging the heck out of you. Anyway, much like the wavier wire you take to Tinder to fill a void missing from your life. You might be looking for a one night stand or a one week plug-in. [Jay's Note: Isn't that a type of air freshener? That's a type of air freshener...] Maybe a potential suitor flashes a little skin to get your mind racing with possibilities. The same way a player buried on the depth chart can come in and flash a little potential. We're all looking for something new, shiny, and better than what we have. With this in mind randy fantasy owners took to the wavier wire Monday and Tuesday looking for that potential stud running back to make their dreams come true. I just hope for you Tinder-roni's that your potential hook-ups offer more than this week's hot pickup Justin Forsett.

One Man’s Trash, Week 2: Time to Lock Him Up?

September 12, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 13 Comments

by: Doc Matt

I hope everyone had a successful Week 1! This week is filled with some big name adds and drops. Hopefully your gamble will pay off, and one of these guys will lead you to Week 2 success. Here are the Week 2 hot adds and drops from Yahoo Sports Fantasy Football...

Nothing Wrong with a Nap Here

September 12, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 73 Comments

by: Jay

They don't call it the Charm City for nothing!

God, these teams are both terrible. At least that's what I got from last night's game. I remember when this matchup was good. Now it’s like watching a fight in the old age home between two withered, senile dudes in diapers. One thing's for sure, The Ravens overcame a lot of adveristy last night, if adversity means the Steelers. And, to Pittsburgh's credit, they all looked remarkably calm for being on a boat that's sinking. For the complete recap of the game, I've compacted it into one sentence for each team, so as to limit your suffering: Ravens -- Six trips inside the 20 and two TDs. (Thanks, no, we were just looking.) Steelers -- Even by Todd Haley standards, that was some sh*t playcalling. ("HOW DO I FOOTBALL?") But hey, you have to admit, Joe Flacco looked at least 2% more elite with that rugged beard.

TNF, Week 2: Steelers vs. Ravens

September 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Gameday | 33 Comments

by: Jay

I have no idea what's going on here, but what ever it is, probably needs more doctor.

Warning: This is a Ray Rice free zone. And as much as we'd like to adhere to this policy on Razzball tonight and in the future, you'd be crazy to think that the NFL Network will. And if ESPN and their mighty journalistic integrity are any indication of what we're in store tonight, we're f*cked. And what probably doesn't take attention away from domestic violence is the fact that domestic abuse survivor, Rihanna, will be performing with Jay-Z (more like Jay-Y, amiright folks?) before the game. Well, to the NFL's credit, at least they didn't ask Chris Brown to perform... But, luckily for us, there's actually going to be football going on between two franchises that really seem to dislike each other. So let's bring in the football so we can forget everything else for a few hours. Well, okay, you're right, with the commercials, it's more like five hours.

Streamers, Week Two: Just Don’t Get Hurt, Locker!

September 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 25 Comments

by: Nico

Hey everyone! I hope you accomplished nothing at work this week because you were rehashing your epic Week 1 fantasy victories! Don’t forget, everyone cares, so keep on telling your cube-mates about your MNF comeback (Yahoo gives away medals for that)! That said, let’s maximize your time to reach your weekly deadlines and get down to business. As a reminder, ownership percentages are taken from Yahoo:

Take a Walk(er) on the Wild Side

September 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 15 Comments

by: Smokey

Yeah, why not, a little Lou Reed... could be worse. So this week's spotlight will be shining on Delanie Walker. For those of you who didn't read last week's post, let's just say I am as happy as a T-rex with a back scratcher. So if you own Jimmy or Gronk, or people all around the world of King Julius, you don't really need to pay much attention here. The position is filled with uncertainties and injuries. Tyler Eifert and Jordan Reed are toast right now. The reports about Chuck Clay and Jordan Cameron are worrisome right now. You have the ineffective first weeks of several other guys: Witten and Heath Miller. This is where the pitch comes. Delanie Walker is playing the hapless Cowboys defense that couldn't guard Vernon Davis or his five heads for the first half of last week's game, that for all intents in purposes was over at halftime. As SF started granny shifting and made Dominic Toretto post a SMH in his tinder account. So picture this Walker, hapless defense not a fantasy savior but a fantasy guy being overlooked.

IDP Rankings, Week 2: When IDP Says IDO

September 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, IDP Report | 9 Comments

by: Kevin Kumpf

This is weekend is the most important one of my life. Not because I'm 0-1 in 4/6 leagues, but because I'm getting married. So before I use and abuse this topic as a gimmick for my article this week, I also want to stress the importance of this weekend to all of you. Not because your resident IDP writer is about to have his own Mrs. IDP, er, forget I mentioned that, but because Week 2 is the time to make moves! Week 1 had countless injuries and disappointments, but it also had breakouts and stud performances. So using my impending nuptials as a theme, let's take a look back at last weekend...

Rankings, Week 2: Hot Rankings, Part Deux

September 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 Weekly Rankings | 227 Comments

by: Jay

Week 1 Results: 61.8% (22nd out of 134 Experts, 66.1% Highest, 48.2% Lowest). It's now time for Week 2 Rankings folks! Why? Because the world needs rankings. Nay, the world demands it. To be really honest, what’s the point of writing about fantasy football if not to start arguments over subjective numerical values? If you answered "there is no point!" (exclamation point inflection required), well then, you win this cookie. This cookie right here. Oh, you don't see the cookie? That's probably because I just ate it. So you get no cookie. Just the teasing of said cookie. Great, now I'm hungry for more cookies. Thanks! As an aside, I've heard some requests for a 'Rest of Season' rankings made available for the masses. Well, I haven't heard them per say... I've read the requests, seeing as how you people don't whisper in my ear. I mean, maybe you do, but I'm just trying to ignore you because that's creepy, dude. Regardless, I will be releasing ROS projections at every quarter mark of the season, or basically every month, or every four weeks... basically every 30 or so days. Or 730 hours. 43829 minutes. 2.63e+6 seconds... woah, what the heck is that I just wrote? That looks like some kind of alien language. But, you get my point. So, yeah, be excited for that!

Disgraces and Delights, Week 2: Larry Fitzgerald, Daddy’s Disappointed

September 10, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 126 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Beer bonging a gallon of chew spit while watching your pregnant mother get a$$ blasted by Ron Jeremy> Owning Larry Fitzgerald in fantasy football in 2014.

-Tehol Beddict

Greetings, and welcome to another excruciatingly sexy edition of, Disgrace/Delight! I am your honored master of ceremonies, the Tehol Beddict, and I come to you bearing gifts. Where in the name of the Elder Gods are these gifts, you ask? The presents I offer you, distinguished ladies and gents, is the verbiage I've spewed out for you below in the form of written communication. Take it all in (swallow, don't spit) and leave your thoughts and questions when you're finished reading, as each and every one of you deserve special attention (ladies and Sky especially ).

You know what the deal is here and you definitely know what the real is. This is: DISGRACE/DELIGHT!!! TAKE HEED!

Breaking: NFL Players Have Agreed on Raising Testing Threshold

September 10, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 99 Comments

by: Jay

The title was just the long way of saying: JOSH GORDON MUTHA EFFERS.

If you were wondering who all 20 players are, I've actually seen the list and can report that those players are all Josh Gordon. So it's that easy, right? Not so fast...

Ambulance Chasers, Week 2: Puny, Puny Muscle Hamster

September 10, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Injury Report | 14 Comments

by: SethDaSportsMan

Week 1 in the NFL brought us a number of injuries, and it also brought us the (unnecessary) return of some of our favorite Saturday Night Live characters. Reprising their Aaron Rodgers "Discount Double Check" series, State Farm graced us with a couple of new commercials featuring The Richmeister (Rob Schneider repeatedly saying "makin' copies!"), and of course, Hans and Franz. You remember those two lovable German steroid freaks? All they cared about was getting us puny weaklings in shape... and at any cost. Tampa Bay RB Doug Martin may need a little pumping up from Hans and Franz, 'cuz a knee injury could sideline the Muscle Hamster for the Bucs' matchup with the St. Louis Rams this Sunday. Lovie Smith is downplaying the injury, but the fact that Martin got just nine carries, yet his knee injury was deemed "minor", is a little bit concerning. There could be other factors at play here (conspiracy theorists unite!). Some NFL pundits have speculated that Martin may have been benched, and as a member of the old regime in Tampa, he doesn't look to be a favorite of the Bucs' new coach. Either way, after a dismal and injury-shortened 2013, there is very little wiggle room for the Bucs back. Fantasy owners in standard leagues would be wise to stash Bobby Rainey (4 carries, 12 yards; 2 catches, 8 yards, TD). Mike James is also worth a look in much deeper leagues. And, now to the rest of the forlorn...