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Gentlemen and four Ladies,

I know what you’re all thinking, “Who is this man-child showing off his above-average arsenal of hair products? Is this Grey from the past?” Now that’s humorous, and I’m not talking about my arm bone. That’d be humerus! Why would I write about that in the Football section of Razzball? I wouldn’t. Grey wrote about that on WebMD though, so you never know! I digress.

I’m here to introduce the 2015 Razzball Fantasy Football War Room. Get excited! I’ll preface my explanation with an apology for not getting this to the readers sooner. The Fantasy Football War Room was inspired by the one-and-only Fantasy Baseball War Room. It’s a great tool that I’ve used over the last few years to dominate my drafts. While developing my personal draft spreadsheet for football, I realized I could easily format it for use by the masses. There are features I hope to add in the future, but for the sake of time, I wanted to release the War Room while there was still an opportunity for Razzballers to use it!

So, let’s get down to brass tacks. Here is a brief rundown of what you’re getting in the 2015 Razzball Fantasy Football War Room:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good afternoon to my very few dedicated followers.  I regret to inform you that this will be my last streamer post of the year… I hope that I have steered you in the right direction, more often than not, during the course of the season.  This is not a time for sadness, but a time for rejoicing.  For the closing of the fantasy football season summons the beginning of the fantasy baseball season, in which Grey will entertain us with his daily quips.  It’s just around the corner, folks, and many sleepers have already been posted, so get yourself over to the baseball page immediately!  Also, thanks to all the commenters for your input this season.  It’s been fun.  Don’t hesitate to connect with me on Twitter either.  Anywho, we’re here for football, so luckily, that’s what I’m going to give you.   Championship Week streamers here we come:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Thursday everyone!  Don’t you worry your little hearts, your highly anticipated streamer article is here.  Since the Streamer Department is newer staple here at Razzball, I want to try something a little different this week.  90% of the players I write about on here I’ve written about before.  You can check those stats!  In order to stop boring you or going too in-depth with the obvious about how great a player’s matchup is, I want to keep my player descriptions short.  I also understand that all of these players are not available in every league, so I want to encourage you readers to ask more personally tailored questions in the comment section.  Josh McCown isn’t available in your league, but Teddy Bridgewater and Geno Smith are?  Gross!  But you’re probably playing Bridgewater and saying your prayers.  You don’t know what color to paint your living room?  Seafoam green!  This is why I’m here, and this is when your roster decisions matter most.  So ask me, ask Jay, ask Smokey or ask your Grandma!  The more input, the better chance we have of helping you win!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hellooooo!  I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving weekend.  I’ll go out on a limb and say that you’re only reading this if you got into your league’s playoffs.  Congratulations!  Unfortunately, it also means you’re weak at one of your positions… On that note, ownership numbers are doing weird things right now, and there is some renewed position jostling on those teams with injuries (and those that are completely out of it).  So, while there are some new opportunities, half your league isn’t making roster moves.  That means those weekly gems that have been added and dropped repeatedly might be stuck on someone’s bench somewhere… I’ll do my best to provide some deep value, as that might be your only option during these important few weeks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re going to have an abbreviated streamer post this week.  Sorry guys and 4 gals, but it does mean fewer boring stats! Last week, we took some gambles in the Streamer Department that paid off, and some that did not… but hey, sometimes ya gotta crack a couple of eggs to make an omelette, amiright?  I thought this was going to be a shortened post?  Me too… Ready, Set, Stream!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s rookie quarterback week in the Streamer Department… apparently.  Things are getting thin out there on the waiver wire, folks.  Bye-weeks, injuries, underperformances… All of these factors are resulting in the once-streamable players now being widely owned.  Have a look at Ryan Tannehill (62%), Miami’s DST (76%), and Dwayne Allen (78%).  …And the list goes on!  But no need to fret, our job here in the Streamer Department is to look deeper.  Last week, we hit 5 of 6 Top-12 streamers.  In Week 9, we hit 4 of 8 Top-12’s, with 3 more streamers falling at either 13 or 14 on the list.  Let’s keep the trend going!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Truth is, I used to be a Mark Sanchez apologist, and perhaps I still am. As a Jets fan coming off of two AFC Championship games, he was easy to like. Then, we got to know the real Mark Sanchez. Dancing with his pants off, the butt-fumble… need I go further? But overall, the Jets weren’t exactly a catalyst for his success. I blame them. Now, Mark Sanchez is born again with renewed hope as a follower of the Chip Kelly system, and I’m buying into it.

Full disclosure, I don’t think we see a far departure from the Sanchez we knew in New York, but I think we see improvement. He will still throw interceptions. He will still struggle in some situations, and I truly believe he will once again dance without pants, but I think the Eagles give him an excellent chance to succeed, like they did with Nick Foles. Sanchez might not be able to throw a football over them mountains, but he might be the Pedro to Nickfoleon Dynamite.  A solid one-two punch.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good Afternoon, my three loyal friends! We’re midway through the season, and I wanted to take a chance to analyze our streamer performances over the last eight weeks. Are our streamers weak like your gramps complains about, or are they strong like a young stallion?! That’s what we want to find out here, kids. To start, I went back and looked at the ownership rates of players at our four streamer positions to figure out how many players at each position were owned by over 50% of teams. I found some interesting information:

QB: 20 TE: 16 K: 12 DST 17

In most leagues, 20 QB’s, 16 TE’s, 12 K’s, and 17 DST’s are held on teams over 50% of the time. These are the baselines to which we need to compare our streamers, since we are giving you players that are under 50% owned. We want our picks to outperform the Top-20 QB’s, Top-16 TE’s, Top-12 K’s and the Top-17 DST’s. So how did our streamer performances stack up against the averages? Overall, our average QB’s ranked 16.6 each week, TE’s ranked 21.2 each week (A Niles Paul 47th ranked week killed us), K’s ranked 17.5 each week, and DST’s ranked 14.8 each week. When you look at our ranks, you can see that we’re exceeding the baseline with our QB and DST picks, but underperforming in the TE and K department. We’ll look to rectify and improve these numbers in the second half of the season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

To be honest, Florida kinda sucks.  Not the state of course… just the football teams.  [Jay’s Note: Oh, I can make plenty of cases for the state sucking.]  And not even all of them… more like two of them, specifically… I mean, yeah, the Jags roughed up the Browns a bit last week, but say that out loud one more time and let me know if you feel any more validated as a Jaguars fan? Didn’t think so. Tampa Bay? They got two solid wins against former powerhouses, but does knowing what we know now about the Steelers and Saints make those wins lose a little luster? Don’t get me wrong, a win is a win, but then again, it’s really not.  Miami is, by far, the best team coming out of the state, and they’re the real deal (for real!).  They’re two parts sexy defense, and one part boring-but-game-managing offense.  I’m totally picking on the northern Florida teams this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Johnny Football? Remember that guy? Of course you do! Well, you do if you watched the NFL Draft… or if you’ve watched that 4-lettered sports television network during the NFL preseason… or if you’ve been within earshot of one of Jerry Jones’ interviews over the last six months. Johnny Football had it all: a Heisman Trophy, a slew of Texas A&M records, fame, girls, you name it. Then it all sort of came unraveled… There was dropping to the late 1st round of the NFL Draft, that pool party, that picture of him tightly rolling some money, the preseason middle finger, and finally, Brian Hoyer getting the Cleveland Browns starting quarterback spot over him. This wasn’t a surprise, though. It would only take a few weeks for Hoyer to play himself out of the starting job… Wait, Johnny who? I don’t remember that guy…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good Afternoon, loyal followers! Yes, I’m talking to you! All four of you! If you feel a little déjà vu reading this article, it’s totally fine. You’re not tripping from all the hallucinogens you dropped following The Grateful Dead tour around the country… You’re just re-reading a few names you’ve read here already. Since I’m sure you’ve all been absorbing these stat-filled riddles like sponges, I’m going to attempt to give you some opinions based on personnel and personal (not a stutter!) observations I’ve noticed over the first third of the season. However, I can’t completely avoid the numbers, so just bear with me. On a positive note, the last three weeks have been quite a resurgence for the Streamer Department. We’ve nailed three Top-10 QB’s, three Top-10 TE’s, a Top-10 DST, and 2 Top-10 Kickers in that time span. Let’s get after it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The last time we referenced a Denzel Washington movie in the title, things turned out pretty well… so I’m going to put my hands together and pray for a similar outcome.  Hallelujah!  Praise the Fantasy Overlord!  Although he can’t harness Biblical powers, Eli Manning is your best overall streaming option for week 5.  (Side note: Philip Rivers is the only QB that CAN harness Biblical powers, i.e. 2014).  Before you stop reading, hear me out.  Well, maybe I don’t blame you for leaving… I’d leave too… but if you’re willing to stay, there’s more to our streamers than just an Eli Manning recommendation.  Last week in the Streamer Department, we nailed the 2nd overall defense (Miami), and a top-10 quarterback and kicker to boot (pun intended).  That’s two solid weeks in a row!  We’re looking to improve on that this week with the seven options below:

Please, blog, may I have some more?