RazzBowl Revelations: A Tale of Sex, Lies, & Spiritual Enlightenment

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”459579″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Fantasy Football Draft Kit Rookies”]

I’m sure you’ve been wondering, “Why did Donkey Teeth retreat into solitude after executing such a flawless RazzBowl draft?”  The truth is, when you draft the most dominant RazzBowl team in the history of RazzBowl teams drafted by a Donkey hopped up on green juices and hallucinogens, withdrawal is unavoidable.

Once you reach these transcendental states of consciousness, the come down back to ordinary reality is never easy. There’s been tears of joy, tears of despair, tears of confusion, and tears from slicing onions; the tears have dried up just in time for Labor Day drafts and week one of the regular season. One fortunate soul now sets out on a life altering journey toward spiritual fulfillment in the form of an immortal, orgasmic, RazzBowl Championship legacy and more importantly a free subscription to Rudy’s NFL DFS Premium Package. 

Rudy’s tools, such a bargain! Speaking of bargains, these players were quite the bargain when RazzBowl drafts were conducted a month ago:

Note: Contact Russell Prentice if you’re interested in a full RazzBowl ADP list

Duke Johnson – Since the RazzBowl’s inception, Duke Johnson’s situation has changed drastically. First, he was dealt from the Browns to the Texans with the Texans giving up a 3rd round draft pick in the deal, this tells us Houston has big plans for the little Johnson. Then, last weekend, Lamar Miller tore his ACL thrusting Johnson to the top of the Texan’s depth chart.  While the mid-sixties ADP for Duke Johnson is a bit steep for my liking, he could easily return that value and then some in PPR leagues.

Josh Gordon  – The reason for Flash Gordon’s meteoric rise up draft boards since the RazzBowl (selected to Team Donkey Teeth at pick 147 *brushes shoulder*) is also no mystery:  the commissioner has reinstated Gordon into the league and he might actually play. There’s a lot skepticism about whether the former phenom can stay sober for an entire season, but it sounds like Tom Brady has taken him under his wing, and Brady’s friendship cures all. {Editor’s note: Except for mesothelioma} That said, there’s other players I’d rather take a shot on around his recent ADP of 69. Nice.

Darwin Thompson – As you may have gathered from the video Grey and I created at the top of this page, I’m a huge Darwin Thompson fan. I was smitten back in June when we discussed Thompson on our podcast formerly known as the Fantasy Sausage Pod, now known as the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast, otherwise known as “Who taught that Donkey to talk?!” Even as Darwin’s recent ADP climbs up toward 90, I’m still buying; it’s a gamble worth taking for his legitimate first round upside.

Edit: LeSean McCoy just signed with the Chiefs, muddying the waters big time. I expect this gives us a major price break on Darwin Thompson during these final days of draft season. If so, I’ll be buying Darwin shares hand over fist. I still like Thompson’s chances of taking over this backfield sooner rather than later.

Tony Pollard – The will they, won’t they between Jerry Jones and Zeke becomes more dramatic by the day. Get a room and make up already! I fully expect Zeke and Jerry to consummate a new deal any day now, but I also expect Pollard to have a significant role in the Cowboys offense even when Zeke is around. I’d rather take a shot on Darwin Thompson than Pollard since they’re going in the same area, but if you’re able to land both then why not. Or did you come to play it safe and draft the Jordan Howards of the world?

Nick Chubb – I’ll admit it, Nick gives me Chubb. We discussed him with Razzball’s own Rudy Gamble on the relaunch of the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast. Since RazzBowl draft completion, his ADP has moved from the mid-second round up to the back end of the first round. There’s no obvious cause for this boost, but Chubb’s been heavily hyped in some industry circles this preseason, and for good reason. The idea that Kareem Hunt will be a threat to Chubb’s workload later this year makes little sense to me. In 2018 the kid proved he’s one of the best young backs in the game and he’ll be a focal point of this loaded Brown’s offense. I’m fully on board in the late first or early second round. 

David Montgomery – Beginning to see a theme here? The third rookie running back on our RazzBowl bargains list, David Montgomery looked fantastic in his limited preseason action. Bears coach Matt Nagy also came out and said Tarik Cohen may have been overused a bit last year. I’m not sure if the Cohen statements are true or just coach speak, but for these reasons Monty has steadily climbed up boards over the last month. It’s still a fair price for the Iowa State product who has a chance at posting a top 10 fantasy RB season, but I’ve found myself more prone to take the discount on Tarik Cohen in PPR leagues. The Human Joystick posted a RazzBowl ADP of 58, he’s now going off the board around pick 69 in the past week’s drafts. Nice.

James Washington – Around RazzBowl draft time there was a bit of uncertainty regarding the #2 and #3 wide receiver spots in Pittsburgh. By virtue of an impressive training camp, along with an untimely injury to skilled rookie Diontae Johnson,  second year wide out James Washingbeard has staked his claim to at least the #3 WR spot. With AB now freezing his feet and complaining about helmets in Oakland, there’s plenty of targets to go around. I’m in on Washington, but also keep a close eye on rookie Diontae Johnson. Current #2 on the depth chart, Donte Moncrief, doesn’t exactly have the best track record. 

That wraps it up for this edition of RazzBowl Reading. I’ll check back in at least a couple times a month with RazzBowl and RazzBowl Qualifier updates, depending on how much time I need to spend motivating Team Donkey Teeth. Bowl on.

Find Donkey Teeth on Twitter. Subscribe to his podcast: The Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast on Itunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. All ADP data is courtesy of NFFC and RazzBowl competitor Russell Prentice.