Welcome to Razzball’s dedicated gambling column-Teasers and Pleasers! Each Thursday during the NFL season, at 11:00 am EST, TnP will post our top bets for the upcoming week. Just sit back and win some money with us in 2020.

How do bands come up with their names? Steely Dan is famously named after a giant steam-powered dildo, but others aren’t quite as artistic. English rock band, Chumbawamba, is just gibberish according to their official statements. However, if you are searching for an innovative way to intro NFL picks for Week 3, you dig a little further and find it came from a dream. Band member Danbert Nobacon had a dream about peeing, and the signs on the club door restrooms he dreamt about replaced “Men” and “Women” with “Chumba” and “Wamba.” We got knocked down last week (0-4 ATS), but we get back up again…

Turn up the volume on your Walkman because it’s Week 3 of the NFL season. We have a chart-topper ourselves, Rudy Gamble’s Razzball Membership Tools! Be sure to check them out and the FREE 7-day trial of all the tools you need to be an international sensation.

Now let’s get to it! Week 3 picks for your Tubthumping pleasure.

Welcome to Razzball’s dedicated gambling column-Teasers and Pleasers! Each Thursday during the NFL season, at 11:00 am EST, TnP will post our top bets for the upcoming week. Just sit back and win some money with us in 2020.

As far as civilization-changing inventions go, the mortar and pestle do not get their due. These tools date back to 35,000 BC! That’s even before Frank Gore was a thing. Since ancient times, they have been used to prepare prescription medications, grind spices into powder for foods, and dehusking grains, such as rice. Proper mortar and pestle technique includes both pounding and grinding. Materials used in their making must be smooth, as not to mix their flavors into the ingredients and firm to withstand the user’s force.

Gather up your best materials. We are entering the grind. Rudy Gamble’s Razzball Membership Tools are smooth as butter and strong as a bull. Perfect for the task at hand. Be sure to check out the FREE 7-day trial of all the tools.

Let’s get to it! Week 2 picks for your betting pleasure.

Welcome to Razzball’s dedicated gambling column-Teasers and Pleasers! Each Thursday during the NFL season, at 11:00 am EST, TnP will post our top bets for the upcoming week. Please sit back and win some money with us in 2020.

Anticipation is an unstoppable force in humans. Our brains work 24 hours per day; one portion of our brain, the cerebellum, controls our automatic processes. For example, breathing (thankfully!) and the feeling of anticipation is housed there. In other words, we are always anticipating something! We naturally desire more dopamine, the neurotransmitter that helps prevent pain. Dopamine stimulation happens when we expect good things.

Enter the start of the 2020 National Football League season! America’s dopamine receptors are on overload heading into the first NFL games of the season. Rudy Gamble’s Razzball Membership Tools will fill all of your brain’s receptors and more. Be sure to check out the FREE 7-day trial of all the tools.

No more anticipation. Let’s get right to it! Week 1 picks for your betting pleasure.

Polarizing players do not lack reasons for the general public to despise their successes. However, if you need another angle to take out your envy on Tom Brady from, look no further. His new team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is nicknamed after 17th century free sailors of the Caribbean. Those first Buccaneers were named from a Spanish-Caribbean word meaning smoker of meat. The meat these early landless hunters smoked were manatees! Yes, those cute herbivorous mammals beloved by aquarium goers globally. Tom Brady is basically a manatee murderer!

Tampa Bay finished 7-9 on the 2019 campaign, missing the NFL playoffs for the 12th consecutive year. It was disappointing to Bucs fans everywhere with seeming talent at all positions that they could not find a way to secure more wins. Despite the poor overall record, there were some signs of pending improvement on the defensive side of the ball. In 2018, that unit was the worst in the NFL, scoring 14.8 percent in defensive DVOA. Last season, Tampa Bay was the best defense against the run (3.3 yards per carry against) and turned over the opposition 28 times (5th most). All of that effort brought them up to -11.5 percent defensive DVOA, placing the defense fifth overall.

“I am Oz, the Great and Terrible. Who are you, and why do you seek Me?” Plenty of fantasy sports web services have expanded their scope of expertise from the fake games they’ve been writing about for years to the real one played on Sunday. Legalized gambling is spreading across the country, and advice is not hard to find. However, how many of these virtuosos allow you a glance behind their curtain?

I am no Oz. My gambling advice isn’t just to pick from behind a giant projection of my ugly face. Those picks arrive through an intricate power rankings system. Using the strength of schedule, offseason changes, offensive prowess, and historical data against the spread, I derive my odds and compare them to offered lines to find the best bets each week.

It’s 1934, prohibition is finally over, but the country is in the midst of the Great Depression. Of course, you are sitting at the local watering hole drowning your sorrows when a well-dressed man walks into the bar requesting a cold one. The bartender requires the man to pay upfront because of the economic times. He reveals a large wad of cash and the bartender questions, “Where did you get all that money?” The stranger proclaims he’s a professional gambler. Everyone in room disparages him, claiming even the best bets are 50/50.

The gambler does what gamblers do, he wagers with the patrons. “I’ll bet you $50 I can bite my right eye!” When the bet is taken, he pulls out his glass eye, pops it into his mouth, and shoves the fresh Ulysses S. Grant in his pocket. He proceeds, “Perhaps that was unfair, so I’ll bet you $50 I can bite my left eye?” Seeing him walk into the room, knowing he isn’t blind, the bartender obliges. The gambler pulls out his fake teeth, bites his left eye, snatches the cash, and heads to the back of the room to drink up.

Lucky charms come in all shapes and sizes, but bugs bringing you good luck is just plain weird. Yes, I am talking about ladybugs. Do you realize there is no discernable history behind the ladybug’s lucky nature? Despite the lack of facts, many believe being a landing pad for these flying critters will serve you well as long as you don’t brush it off! Let her fly away and reap the reward.

The ladybug legend doesn’t stop at luck. It’s told that these feminine flyers can predict your future too! Well, now you have got my attention bugs. Tradition says if you count their spots, it will signal how many kids you’ll have (yikes) or possibly the number of lucky months ahead of you. We have got four months of betting ahead of us. Wherever that four-spotted ladybug lands, I hope it’s on my shoulder.