I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning (except Thanksgiving week!) for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football (or Friday Night Football this week) predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:
Vikings (+7) at Saints
Forecast: Championship week is upon us and we have Christmas football! In Drew Brees looked more like Drew Carey in his return from 712 broken ribs last week. Remember The Drew Carey Show? It was brutal but one good thing came out of the terrible show: Diedrich Bader nailed his role as Oswald Lee Harvey, landing him the future role of Rex in Napoleon Dynamite. What does this have to do with Drew Brees? Nothing, but I still don’t expect him to be anywhere near 100% against the Vikings on Christmas Day. Fortunately, it sounds like the already weak Vikings defense–who got whooped by Trubisky and Da Bears last week–may be without their best player, linebacker Eric Kendricks, so Drew Carey just might be able to cover the seven point spread. Grab your jingle bells and jump on the Saints. Saints 30, Vikings 21
Wager: Saints -7 (4 Units)
2020 Season: 4-10 (-3.05 Units)
Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 16 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:
Please, blog, may I have some more?