Last week I gave you my top 10 dynasty rankings for 2020 fantasy football. First there was an angry mob of readers outraged by my Miles Sanders optimism. But that was only the tip of the iceberg. An hour after the rankings dropped I glanced at my phone. A dozen missed calls, all from Kerryon. When I finally mustered up the courage to call my love back, I could hardly get a word in. “Miles Sanders at #10?! I thought we had something special. What about the weekend we had in Paris!” So it took a lot of sweet talking before KJ was back in my bed, later that night. And all was right in the world. That is until today when my Johnson sees he’s no longer in the top 20. I’ve preemptively sent flowers. Anyway, here’s my top 20 for 2020 PPR dynasty leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I just bet $40 on a UFC fighter named Song Yadong. Never bet against Yadong. Gotta think if the UFC can operate during a pandemic then the NFL can too, right? It better, one donkey can only rosterbate, mock draft and rosterbate to mock drafts for so long! Fortunately I stocked up on lotion back in February when others were foolishly hoarding masks, toilet paper and hand sanitizer, so I’m good for at least another six months. Update: Yadong just won. Give me more Yadong! Anyway, we gathered some big names together—not too close— for another dynasty rookie mock draft. If you missed it, check out our 1QB PPR dynasty rookie mock from the week before. This time we mocked a superflex PPR rookie draft, here’s our industry participants and results:   

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You ever go to the driving range? Not one of those fancy Top Golf ranges, I’m talking old school range. Like the one Kevin Costner owned in Tin Cup. Cheech Marin’s character would get sent out in a cart to pick up the range balls and all the crappy golfers would take aim. Nailing the cart boy with a line drive is the pinnacle of golf.  Actually I don’t think Cheech ever fetch range balls in the movie, but what else was doing there other than smoking the reefer? Dynasty rankings are like going after that range ball collection cart—a constantly moving target. And I’m the crappy golfer, blinded by Kerryon Johnson’s beautiful eyes and A.J. Dillon’s sexy legs, like Costner with the hots for Rene Russo. Man I need to add that movie to my pandemic watchlist. Anyway, here’s my top 10 dynasty players for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today will go down in infamy right there with Pearl Harbor and the day the Lions drafted D’Andre Swift, bringing the Kerryon Johnson fan club to it’s knees. Except this is a good day. Maybe those weren’t the best examples of infamous days. Anyway, today Boof and I successfully published the debut episode of the soon to be wildly popular YouTube show: Fantasy Football Malpractice. What does fantasy football malpractice mean and what recourse do you have if you’re a victim? You’ll have to watch the show and find out! We also discuss a few underrated offenses for 2020 fantasy football including the Cardinals, Panthers, Jaguars and Dolphins. Plus we’ll share our dynasty rookie draft strategy now that the 2020 NFL Draft has completed. Kyler Murray, Christian Kirk, Preston Williams, Jordan Howard, Matt Breida and Curtis Samuel are just a few of the players we touch and rub on in this series premium. Feast your eyes on Dr. Donkey Teeth and The Boof!

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In my post-NFL Draft quest to update all of my 2020 dynasty rankings I’ve finally come to tight ends. And you know what I’ve always said about tight ends. Better than loose ends! Rob Gronkowski has the tightest of ends, and he wasn’t leaving any loose ends in his legacy with Brady. Weaving the Gronk into these rankings in the wake of his comeback wasn’t easy due to his wide range of outcomes. But as Big Daddy Kane once said, “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.” Anyway, here’s those sweet, sweet updated top 15 tight ends for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

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I wrote my original dynasty quarterback rankings while tripping on mushrooms, which led to Kyler Murray ahead of Deshaun Watson and Tua Tagovailoa ahead of Joe Burrow. Now I’ve moved on to a delightful concoction of LSD and MDMA. Because pandemics are once in a lifetime events, make the most of it. Needless to say, I’m not backing of the drug-induced hot takes. But I did make a few tweaks to my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football: 

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So a couple days ago you checked out my updated Kerryon Johnson rankings, I mean my updated dynasty running back rankings, and you avoided smashing your computer in disgust? I’m impressed! Now just wait til you see how high I’ve ranked Kerryon in my updated dynasty wide receiver rankings. I can’t help it, I love Johnson’s. And football players with the last name Johnson. Alright, enough Johnson talk (no such thing), here’s my updated top 20 wide receivers for 2020 PPR dynasty football leagues:

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Kerryon? Yo Kerryon, is that you?

Nope, it’s just cold hand of death here to take away all my Kerryon Johnson hopes and dreams. When the  Lions spent pick 35 of the 2020 NFL Draft on D’Andre Swift, it got ugly in House Donkey. My imaginary girlfriend—I call her Kerryon— had me on suicide watch for the entire weekend. With all the sharp objects hidden, I took to Reddit for my punishment. There’s still days when I think about tossing the toaster in the bathtub. Unfortunately, we don’t have a bathtub. We don’t have a toaster either. I live in more of a barn than a house. Anyway, here’s my updated top 20 dynasty running backs for 2020 PPR fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know what they always say: April Antonio Gandy-Golden showers bring May fantasy football starpower. And starpower is exactly what we’re bringing you with Razzball’s Post-NFL Draft, 2020 Dynasty Rookie Mock featuring some of the biggest names in the fantasy football  industry, plus our very own Boof (AKA “al_FF_red”—don’t ask). If you’d like to read a little more about each of the incoming rookies taken in this mock—or 45 of them—please reference my top 10, top 20 and top 50 rookies for 2020 dynasty football. Anyway, here’s the 2020 experts dynasty rookie mock draft for PPR fantasy football: 

 

The Participants

Mike Beers – RotoViz
Danny Kelly – The Ringer
Heath Cummings – CBS Sports
Pat Fitzmaurice – The Football Girl
Michael Salfino – The Athletic
Bob Harris – Football Diehards
Howard Bender – Fantasy Alarm
Gregsauce – 4for4
Donkey Teeth – Razzball
MB – Razzball
B_Don – Razzball
Boof – Razzball

 

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Top places to avoid during a pandemic? 

#1 Adam Gase’s Basement (not just during pandemics, that guy’s clearly crazy)

#2 Emergency Room

#3 Dentist Office

I avoided only one of those locations in the past 24 hours. It all started at dinner last night when I began to choke on some sugar beets. Taking Grey’s advice from this past week’s Razzball Patreon Podcast—where we talk TV shows, movies and a bunch of other nonsense each week for only $5/month to support the site, shameless plug!—my imaginary girlfriend dragged me to the front door and threw me outside. As Grey says, you don’t want EMTs coming into your house during a pandemic. So I crashed head first into the sidewalk cracking a 3 inch gash in my forehead which would require an ER visit along with 10 stitches. Next it was off to the dentist for an emergency repair of a chipped front donkey tooth. I now sit here, wearing sunglasses and nursing a concussion as I write this post which will surely make even less sense than usual. Anyway, here’s my top 50 rookies for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?