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What is up everybody? It’s time for your favorite article of the year: the one where I rank players and then tell you that the order doesn’t matter. It’s like ordering from McDonalds — you’ll never get what you order! But unlike that McMuffin in your tummy, I want to ease your pains and make you feel calmer about your fantasy football endeavor. So! Grab your favorite beverage — I’ll wait! — and meet me after the jump, where I’ll discuss my process and walk you through how I’m ranking players and drafting in 2021. 

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What’s the easiest thing you can do to increase the odds of success for your fantasy football roster, no matter the type of roster you draft? Grab yourself a fine tight end. No, not that kind of grabbing; I don’t want you in jail. In most formats, fine tight ends are about as scarce as a workhorse receiving running back. Meet me after the jump and we’ll talk about some tight end options that you can target in your early drafts.

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What is up everybody!? How are you people doing in the back? Good? There’s no back to the internet? OK! Now, huddle up: you’re going into fantasy football mode and there’s a secret you need to know that will win you the most leagues with the least effort and I’m going to tell you all about it. Right after this word from our sponsor! Donkey Teeth, take it away! 

[camera cuts to DT eating ice cream out of the container with his hands] 

Aw crap, we really suck at this advertising thing. Maybe that’s why we here at Razzball just give you the facts without the gimmick. We’re here to be in a community with you, help you win your leagues, and have a bunch of fun while we do it. So, meet me after the jump and we’ll talk about the best way you can set up your teams for fantasy victory. And if you want the TL;DR, here it is: just draft and have fun. 

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The illustrious wide receiver Julio Jones of the Atlanta Falcons will be taking the Dirty Bird to the Music City. Will the 32-year old wideout make a dent for your fantasy team by swapping Matt Ryan for Ryan Tannehill? What does this mean for Calvin Ridley, who becomes the de facto #1 target in Atlanta? And how can you profit off this in the early fantasy football season? Join me after the jump and learn why you’ll be moaning over Julio Jones. 

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What is up every baller!? We here at Razzball have been working tirelessly behind the scenes to prepare the next RazzBowl for you! Let’s jump over to our fearless leader DonkeyTeeth for the 2021 update! 

[camera cuts to DT, who is pouring a can of Pepsi into his Cheerios at breakfast] 

Well, well, well! I suppose I should have warned Mr. Teeth about our meeting today. But never fear, for I know that scene you just saw was fake news. DonkeyTeeth is a Dr. Pepper man! I suppose I can catch you up on the updates instead. Like, the 2021 RazzBowl is powered by imagination! Whee! And we have backing from financial sponsors [checks notes] Bernie Madoff and Martha Stewart. Wow, what celebrity power! I better stop while I’m ahead. Let’s get to the specifics and get you signed up for your free shot at fantasy super-stardom! 

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Like a prophecy coming true, Carson Wentz was shipped out of Philadelphia on February 18, 2021, going to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2021 third round pick and a conditional 2022 pick. With January bringing football fans a trade of Matthew Stafford and Jared Goff, the Wentz trade marks the third major movement of a quarterback in 2021. Let’s take a look at both the real-life and fantasy implications of the Carson Wentz trade. 

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Can you believe it’s Donkey Teeth’s last week at Ghostbusters Fantasy Camp? Pretty soon he’ll be back from the upside-down, completely normal and unchanged from battling demons in the abyss. He even sent me a message on the Ouija board yesterday! It said, “Listen to the podcasts backwards.” So I took the ol’ pod, played it backwards and slowed it down a bunch to match the slow jam vibe I was feeling. And wouldn’t you know? There were secret messages hidden within! The first message was, “Mitch Trubisky sold his soul to get drafted before Mahomes.” Now we know! The second message? Well, it’s that Curtis Samuel is a sleeper for 2021 fantasy football! 

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The Super Bowl prep week wasn’t completely devoid of football action, as two marquis quarterbacks ended up switching teams: Jared Goff will be going to the Detroit Lions, and Matthew Stafford will be going to the Los Angeles Rams. While most fantasy football players are in the off-season right now, it’s fair to say a number of dynasty managers are waking up to discover their QB1 will be playing in a completely different situation this fall. Let’s take a look at some way-too-early thoughts on the situation that Stafford and Goff will find themselves in come the 2021 regular season. 

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As Donkey Teeth approaches his second week at Ghostbuster’s Fantasy Camp, he sent me a Ouija board to help communicate with him. You see, they don’t allow phones at the camp (interferes with the EMF detectors), and sometimes it’s helpful to talk to your good editor buddy about things like, “Why is Philip Rivers retiring” or “Can I use company funds to buy a shrimp boat?” So I got this Ouija board, and I followed the directions I found on the internets to the best of my ability: I played alone, in a graveyard, and I didn’t say good-bye at all. And wouldn’t you know? Donkey Teeth says I can buy a shrimp boat! Hot gravy, my next article is gonna be written from the scenic Gulf of Mexico, where I’ll barely be able to see my budget laptop’s screen in the bright sun. The Ouija board also let me ask about my next sleeper, and of course, it brought out every NFL fan’s favorite fantasy football player: Corey Davis. Let’s roll!

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Last year, the Razzbois got together in our group chat and looked closely at a bunch of wide receiver sleepers that we thought would be productive, and we hit on a bunch of them: Corey Davis, Cole Beasley, and Russell Gage were my sleeper targets in my DataForce Charity team, the focus of my how to win an industry fantasy football tournament article. By knowing who I was going to target late in the draft, it opened me up to take upside targets earlier in the draft. It’s absolutely WAY too early to get excited about wide receiver sleepers for 2021, but if we can get some players on your radar before your competition realizes it, then you’re ahead of the game. So, let’s take a look at Darnell Mooney, who might be the kind of guy you want to target for deep leagues or a FLEX receiver in a 12-team league. 

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Donkey Teeth is off at Ghostbusters Fantasy Camp, and he sent me this letter to read off to our regular readers. 

Dear Ghouls and Girls,

Its my first day at Ghostbusters Fantasy Camp! So far it’s just Rick Moranis here with the 6 campers, but I hear that Ernie Hudson will be here by the end of the week. Today, we spent time fixing old infrared cameras for sale on something called the Dark Web. Spooky! I think I even had my first paranormal encounter while I was cleaning the camp’s septic tank. There were some supernatural smells down there! If you need me, here’s my mailing address: Donkey Teeth, 123 Elm Street, Amityville, NY 66642. Counselor Rick says you can send cash and it’ll go to my commissary account! 

Thanks, DT! 

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What is up everybody?! Here we are, with Week 17 of the NFL season finished up and all fantasy football leagues crowning their champion. In the RazzBowl — the biggest pros-vs-joes best ball tournament out there — the champion crown went to a fan, Jerry Janiga! 

Way back in August, over 200 fantasy footballers drafted teams for the second RazzBowl. The field was whittled down to ten fantasy footballers by Week 16, and Jerry fended off industry experts Ari Engel, Matthew Stevens, and our own Donkey Teeth to claim the RazzBowl trophy.  Jerry was locked in a weekly battle with fellow fan Joey Wright for the #1 spot, and with the addition of Mick Ciallela from Fantrax, Jerry, Joey, and Mick controlled the #1 spot in the RazzBowl competition for about 80% of the tournament, making it a true battle for first place. In the end, Jerry won the RazzBowl by 7 points over Ari Engel, who had a leading 196 points in the final week. Thankfully for Jerry, the nature of the RazzBowl cutline scoring gave him the edge and the championship because he had higher scoring lineups in the best ball portion of the competition from weeks 1-9 and also better lineups in the playoff cutlines from Weeks 10-15. 

Despite the situation with [waves hands around] all of this, more fantasy footballers than ever signed up for the RazzBowl, and we’re thankful to all the industry sponsors, as well as the industry players and fans who played. Special thanks go to the NFC for hosting this event and calculating all the scores for us. 

Let’s celebrate Jerry’s victory with a little socially distanced interview!

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