I’ll be honest, generally I have no idea what the Sunday morning post lede will be until the night before when I peruse all the NFL content that drove the week. Kind of like a short synopsis, even though most women think it’s slightly above average. We’ve covered Ezekiel Elliot ad nauseam, injuries galore, all that kneeling, and I’ve even been able to sneak in a few legitimate barbs at Dean Spanos here and there. Why do I bring this all up now? Probably because literally nothing happened this week, yet I still need to type letters that hopefully form words here and there. One of my proudest aspirations as a writer. And this isn’t hyperbole. The Browns were forced to evacuate a London Hotel early. Anthony Barr had his own hot take to combat Aaron Rodgers hot take, because bro-stuff I guess. And we found out the top three quarterbacks with the most passes completed over 20 yards are Tom Brady (not surprising at all), Carson Wentz (kinda surprising), and Alex Smith (WTF?). That’s. About. It. And if you tell me that Alex Smith throwing even two passes over 20 yards is big news, I’d say to you that the trauma from that revelation isn’t news, it’s abuse.

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 8 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB and Zach providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say, to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 8!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 7 27 7 65 4 84 43 32 2
Week 6 35 108 39 3 51 78 38 4
Week 5 90 81 86 73 73 84 88 11
Week 4 24 10 67 72 98 37 62 3
Week 3 29 42 66 56 51 18 34 7
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 23 15 76 17 27 37 61 5
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112

Another solid week and we’re about to break into the top-20 for the year, a place we’ve been working hard to return to over the last few weeks, much like your mother’s house. Quarterbacks specifically showed a marked improvement in Week 7, but some lackluster results for running backs and tight ends overshadowed our success ranking wide receivers. With that said, our Week 8 Rankings for Standard, Half-PPR, PPR and IDP leagues are right after the jump! (And our Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So yeah, I get it, the title is a bit overused in today’s parlance with the bizarre yet hypnotizing Adult Swim “horror-comedy-90’s sitcom” experience bringing the idiom back into style. Combined with the fact that I’d faint if you told me that this headline hadn’t been used by any other football writer before today when referring to Brandin Cooks (seen above with the 11-yard touchdown)… yeah, that saying’s been here before. But how apt! How meta I say! Because that’s exactly how I felt about last night’s prime time rematch of last year’s Super Bowl (did you know? You’d think they would mention that at least once last night!) that 95% of the Northeast tuned out of in the third quarter. There was some horror, some comedy, and of course Bill Belichek carries the whole 90’s sitcom vibe all by himself… but ultimately, it seemed to be a game that’d we’d all seen before and we were all the worse for it. And sure, while it might have been the Falcon’s gameplan all along, to give the Patriots a 23-point lead only to start a miraculous comeback of their own… problem was, the comeback never came and the Falcons looked about as good in the first three quarters yesterday as they did in the last quarter in the aforementioned Super Bowl. But there was fog! And lots of it! (I can’t find confirmation if it was coming out of Cris Collinsworth’s or Bob Costas’ mouth.) So instead of calling this a Super Bowl rematch, maybe we should call it the “Trent Green Bowl”? Kind of an “NFL’s concept” of what it’s like travelling through Trent Green’s head. You know, minus the purple bears and robot unicorns…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While it’d be justified to revisit the whole Ezekiel Elliot suspension saga since, you know, it has yet to be resolved, I’d like to focus on a few other news items, just one week before the season-half. Did you know that the Dolphins and Ravens are on pace for a NFL record-low 8.5 yards per completion? I’d figured the Chiefs would have been there, since that’s Alex Smith’s throwing range. The Texans have led the NFL in scoring since Deshaun Watson became a starting quarterback. The Texans leading in offensive anything is the seventh sign of the end of the world (the sixth was David Johnson’s leg exploding). Oh, and yeah, Aaron Rodgers was officially placed on the IR. Too soon?

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 7 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB and Zach providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say, to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 7!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 6 35 108 39 3 51 78 38 4
Week 5 90 81 86 73 73 84 88 11
Week 4 24 10 67 72 98 37 62 3
Week 3 29 42 66 56 51 18 34 7
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 28 24 62 22 19 38 68 5
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112

Another above average week (that’s what she said), but we haven’t had a finish this year, besides Week 1, that really shifted the numbers up. From what the accuracy breakdown shows, we’re still have some trouble gauging running backs (and to a lesser extent, DSTs), but getting a better ranking for quarterbacks is another goal, something that wasn’t a worry just a few weeks ago. Our IDP results are pretty strong I’d have to say, this being the first year I’ve specifically provided those, and I’m sure now knowing who Yannick Ngakoue is will benefit my life in some manner or form.

The overall trends are still looking okay, and we’re moving up gradually back nearer to the top-20’s where I generally assume these rankings will separate our community results from other sites. While there’s still a lot of football left, the fantasy playoffs are drawing closer and closer and we should all have a sense of whether or not we have a team that can move forward. With that said, our Week 7 Rankings for Standard, Half-PPR, PPR and IDP leagues are right after the jump! (And our Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, the NFL is cancelling the season after Monday Night Football in tribute to Aaron Rodgers, right? His injury is clearly worse than 9-11, if you are to believe the outpouring of melancholy media ejaculate yesterday. Not that they don’t have a reason. Losing one of the NFL’s most marketable players for selling insurance not only leaves us just with Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt (who died last week) to hawk stupid sh*t, but also allows the Packers to show how terrible Brett Hundley is at quarterbacking. Football sure knows how to expand it’s market share! And I realize there’s already a lot of hype building for signing Colin Kaepernick, which if we’re writing seriously (rare, I know) makes some sense, but I feel like a sports organization has to do triage for these situations with a bit more vigor. So I’ve come up with a strategy, a “plan of attack” if you will, that I believe the Packers are considering right this very moment:

  • Plan A – Send feelers out about signing Colin Kaepernick to gauge the reactions from fans and media. Invest in the TIKI torch brand if signing takes place. If not, move to Plan “B”.
  • Plan B – Beg Tony Romo to leave the booth. If Romo says yes, move to “Plan XXIV” when he gets injured in his first game back. If Romo says no, move to “Plan XXIV”.
  • Plan XXIV – WHERE IS MATT FLYNN? If found, give him more free money. If not, give him more free money and move to the next plan.
  • Plan LOL – Trade for Jay Cutler, since he has the most experience throwing to Packers receivers. If Miami says no, move to the last plan.
  • Plan OMFG – Tim Tebow time! Because at this point, why the ef not?

The NFC North is gonna otherwise be ceded to a team that got blown out by the Saints yesterday. But yeah, darn shame about Rodgers… now that I’ve confirmed the Chargers don’t play Green Bay later this season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ezekiel Elliott owners are still shaking off their own CTE issues from this week’s shocking yet not so shocking (which makes this mildly shocking I guess?) news that the Fifth Circuit Court upheld Elliott’s six-game suspension. I hadn’t heard screams that loud and high-pitched since David Johnson was put on the IR. While Matt did a fantastic job covering the breaking Zeke news this week, I wanted to make sure and shed some light on who it actually is that’s playing with all of our collective livers…

The Fifth Circuit isn’t just a very conservative court — 10 of its 15 active judges are Republican appointees — it also includes some of the most unapologetic and ideological conservative judges in the country. Five Fifth Circuit judges joined an opinion saying that a man could be executed even though his lawyer slept through much of his trial. The court once sanctioned a high school cheerleader after she sued the school that told her to cheer for her alleged rapist. Its former chief judge was recently under investigation for allegedly claiming that African Americans and Hispanics are predisposed to violent crime. [Source.]

So yeah, this doesn’t really count as political content, simply because after reading that paragraph, I don’t really care that they’re conservatives in this context, only that they’re spiteful idiots. It’s like probably not even in the top-1000 decisions that this circuit has made out of Jerkdom. Which is either a kingdom full of jerks or beef jerky. IT CAN’T BE BOTH PEOPLE. Regardless, the NFLPA will ask for a full panel rehearing of the case through the court’s appeals process, which means Zeke plays for now. Next week?

Hold on, I think I hear some more screaming…

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 6 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB and Zach providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say, to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 6!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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