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That’s a perfect Bernie right there, folks. He hit it once, hesitated, then went to the next level before celebrating with his teammates in the end zone. Ok, wait…are we talking about Le’Veon Bell doing the Bernie or actually running a football? This dude’s more elusive in the backfield, slipping through the line and blowing past the second level than anyone else in the NFL. Sure, you can take the injury he suffered a year and a half ago (he was totally fine once coming back), and the fact that he parties like he’s trying to be in ‘Weekend at Bernie’s,’ into account. Me? Nah…I’ll just take the best player in the fantasy game when he’s running full steam.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The toughest position in sports. The most cerebral athletes in the game. And the most valuable assets in dynasty fantasy football. Well, for the super-flex leagues, at least.

See, one big difference in the dynasty game and the redraft options are the deeper possibilities available when roster are expanded from 13 to 25. Yep, one of the most dynamic pieces of dynasty football is the deeper bench. The dynasty game is all about assets, and utilizing sets when they’re at their peak value. And in order to better make advantage of the roster rolodex many leagues create a super-flex position, where QBs can slot into the utility role. Sure, you could call it a 2-QB league, but that’s not what it is. In many instances you’ll sway towards another RB during BYE weeks, or the WR on a three-week hot streak over the nominal QB. Which brings me to the point of their elevated value.

There are only 32 of them playing each week (essentially), whereas with other positions you can see triple that. Now, the super-flex leagues obviously raise the QB value to its highest echelon, but even in a more standard version only the select few are held in the highest regard. The shelf life of quarterbacks is quite long (ahem, see: Tom Brady), but if you take a closer look there’s an infusion of youth at the position. So much so that savvy vets like Tony Romo and, most recently, Jay Cutler, ave been relegated to the press box, trading in their chin straps for some chin concealer. Youth matters here, but only when it’s married with a great offense and some strong arm talent. Jared Goff may be an immature young 20-Something, but without more weapons around him he’s just the dude that should be handing off to Todd Gurley.

It’s time for the bedrock of the dynasty roster…the Top 50 Dynasty Quarterbacks!

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Patience. It’s not natural. No one is born with it. If you have kids you know this…it’s not the default. And this plays right into the benefit of the general fantasy population for the game’s most popular sport. It’s all inclusive, all right now.

Come on in, grab a beer. Have a seat and pick some football players for a little more than an hour. It’s so easy. Then, check it twice a week for five minutes total and dominate the emotional well-being of your co-workers, friends, and neighbors. Hell, sit behind a screen and obliterate complete strangers from around the world. And when Sunday rolls around you just gave yourself a reason to veg in front of the TV, be incredibly distracted at church, watch the stattracker on your phone while driving and totally neglect everyone of importance in your life for the sake of yelling at John Kuhn when he vultures a TD from anyone of fantasy relevance on the Packers. It’s simple and easy for everyone to play. Millennials rejoice! Participation! (As a millennial, I’d like to state on the record I will not give my kids trophies for finishing last…)

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Congratulations! If you’re reading this you survived the Hunger Games of fantasy football only to begin an even more difficult ascent. It’s like what Maeve must have felt when she saw that ‘SW’ on the wall as she exited to Star Wars style, multi-leveled connecting corridor in the season finale of Westworld. That’s about as spoiler-friendly as I could possibly write that without giving anything away, haha. Point is…now  comes the hard part. Now is all that matters. Oh, you finished 9-4 to win the #2 seed and a bye in Round 1? Congratulations. Here’s a LifeSaver to enjoy while you go look at the total points and realize that all four teams under you scored more than you this season. Come Week 15 and Round 2, you’re likely to be in need of a LifeSaver. Fantasy Football is filled with luck (or the lack thereof, like that time when you score the 2nd most points, but miss the playoffs because of Colin Kaepernick ghosting Week 13. I guess that’s what I get after hyping him for a month straight. And don’t talk to me about karma. It doesn’t exist. And don’t worry…I’m not salty about it, either. Hahaha.), so savor that LifeSaver while you can; you may need a real one soon.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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This could go one of two ways. That smug look on Colbert above is one trajectory: pride. Last week’s Working the Waiver, beyond featuring a GIF and link to perhaps the funniest six minutes on the internet (thank you, Eastbound and Down), couldn’t have been more accurate. Okay, fine, it could have been without the Tajae Sharpe egg, but seriously…you could/should have rostered every name on there. But instead of puffing up my #dadbod chest for the masses to gawk over (eat your heart out, Tehol), the prevailing emotion is the second option: desperation. Seriously, I ain’t to proud to beg.

It’s Week 13. For all you non-math majors, that’s a bakers dozen. And in the fantasy world, you know what that means: One. More. Week. It’s the final week before playoffs begin. If you’re still reading this I assume you’re in the race for a playoff spot. And if you’re not, well…you’re the best kind of person. Thank you. Keep fighting even though the ship is now sunk (I’m doing this in a staff league. Gotta get as many points as possible to make my case that fantasy football involves incredible luck. Fourth most points in a 14-team league but miss the playoffs? Wasn’t my fault.). So, as we prep our playoff rosters, there are plenty of targets to either deepen your bench or shore up your FLEX spot. And guess what? A lot of the names are the EXACT same as last week. I TOLD YOU SO! Pick them up! I beg of you.

Here are the top targets to, well…target heading into Week 13!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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‘I can feel it all the way down in my plums.’ I bet you did, Ashley Schaffer, but if you’re name A.J. Green you felt it a little lower down in your hamstring…

Week 11 was highlighted by nothing more than injuries. A.J. Green, LeSean McCoy, Giovani Bernard, C.J. Prosise, Jay Cutler all suffered big injuries that will at least cost fantasy owners their services for the next few weeks, if not the whole season. Or, in the case of that final name that I will not write again, the rest of fantasy football ever. See ya later Cutler! For real, though, these big injuries open up some big windows for new players to step in. However, when examining the positional situation behind the injured stars there’s not a lot available. That is, unless your name is Tyler Boyd.

The rookie was a dark horse, late-round flier in draft season, primed to take the reins as the second option opposite of A.J. Well, that didn’t exactly pan out, and Boyd’s ownership is now under 1%. As of Tuesday morning. I’d imagine 24 hours from now his number jumps significantly after Green’s injury took him out for most of the game and Boyd responded with a 6/54/1 on 8 targets. You can go for Brandon LaFell all you want, but if I’m targeting some Bengals receivers I’d target the two Tylers the most: Eifert and Boyd.

So, it’s those two (Eifert as a trade option, obviously), and here are the other top targets to, well…target heading into Week 12!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Drew Brees. (23.83 fantasy ppg in RCL scoring on Yahoo)
Aaron Rodgers.
Tom Brady.
Matt Ryan.
Ben Roethlisberger.
Andrew Luck.
Cam Newton.
Marcus Mariota.
Colin Kaepernick.
Dak Prescott. (19.78 fppg)

This is the Top 10 ranking of average fantasy points per week from QBs. Solid list, but one of these is not like the other. Sure, you could argue the rookie Prescott shouldn’t be in there, but we’ve seen for 10 weeks now that he’s completely legit. Mariota? Nope, there were a lot of paths that could have ended up with him getting here. But nestled in there at #9 is Mr. Kaepernick himself. And who in their right mind would have ever thought in the everest of evers just two months ago that he’d be here? Buried behind Blaine Gabbert, and 6 feet under the scrutiny/scolding of the national media, Kaepernick was relegated to a borderline cut coming out of camp, and a for sure release after this season ends. Would he ever see the field again as an NFL QB? That was an actual question with a lot of credence in early September. Yet, after 10 weeks, the Kaep is back as a top QB option in fantasy football. Surprised? You shouldn’t be.

But he’s not the only one, just the first. Here are the top targets to, well…target heading into Week 11!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I’m up in the woods, I’m down on my mind
I’m building a sill to slow down the time.

Bon Iver penned the words and performed it first, then Kanye West went and blewed it all up with a dope remix for his ‘Lost in the World’ track a few years ago. Now, when I’m in the woods, I’m not sure that I pull Chris Pine in Into The Woods like you see above (sorry for that?), but I know it’s definitely a place to reset your thoughts and re-aim your efforts.

Nine weeks into the fantasy football season we could all probably take a little trip up in the woods. Whether it’s readying yourself for a playoff push, climbing out of the middle…

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While everyone is clamoring over Westworld (and for good reason…including our weekly Football Podcast!), a show with a little less fanfare, but just as intriguing of a plot, made its debut last year: The Man in the High Castle. Amazon’s alternate universe time piece won’t get the hype of Westworld, but the premise, the acting and the twists are just as dynamic. Before Season 2 debuts in December, it’s worth the binge.

Binging before December should happen every year. And no, not just through the gluttony of Thanksgiving. The weeks leading up to December are the final week of the fantasy football regular season, and now that we’re officially into November that means we’ve hit the home stretch of making your squad better. Can you recover from 2-6 to make the playoffs? Yep. In 2013 I began 2-6 and then rode Jamaal Charles greatest season to five straight wins for the 7th seed, then three more through the playoffs for the belt. I don’t see Jamaal doing that this year, as he’s visiting the three worst words in sports this week: Dr. James Andrews. But in his stead, There’s a New Chief in Westworld (the other title for this article I almost went with) that you can binge before the playoffs. Or…like last year you can ride a player into December that coincides with a certain Amazon show. From now until early December, it’s more than worth your time to stream The Man in the HighCastletower.

Here are the top targets to, well… target for Week 9!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Positional flexibility is so incredible. It gives you so many options, and shallows out the need for your bench. Targeting players that carry multiple positions is a sneaky tactic to winning your fantasy league. In baseball.

But would ya look at that…here we are in Week 8 of the fantasy football season and it’s the positional flexibility that’s adding value to players, and elevating a certain someone above the rest of the Pack (pun intended) as we look for targets leading into the second half of the season. Having troubles at the RB position due to the overall suck of the position, the quagmire that is timeshares in the backfield, or the myriad of injuries that could have ravaged your squad? No fear, Green Bay’s providing all the assistance you’ll need by getting creative with their own backfield problems. And giving us something we haven’t had in three weeks as we work the wire…

Here are the top targets to, well…target for Week 8!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Hey! Heeeeeeey! Put on your parachute pants, kids, it’s time to take a trip back to years gone by and reminisce of what used to be and what can be. But before you get carried away thinking I’m discussing something from the early 90’s (current Millennial fashion is bringing that back up quite enough), pump the brakes a bit once you get to 2010.

Pump the brakes. That’s what I need y’all to do for me. Just a little bit. Because, see, back in 2010 we saw a ‘breakout’ occur for the one Kenny Britt. What did that breakout entail? 73 targets in 12 games for a 42/775/9 line (18.5YPC) when playing for the Titans. I remember Britt then bring primed for further ascension into the upper echelon of WR tierdom before the 2011 season. However, if you didn’t pump the brake you were duped when he produced a 17/289/3 line in just 3 games. Which leads us to how you should work the waiver wire heading into Week 7 of the 2016 fantasy football season!

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For those of you hulking for Chris Hogan, I see you. I’m just not joining in, brother. I know Tom Brady being back means the whole bunch gets an uptick in value, but 3/51/0 just doesn’t do it for me…that’s what Hogan did on Sunday minus his 63 yard reception. That wasn’t for a score. On only 5 targets. I’d prefer volume for my flex or bench options, and won’t spend my FAAB on someone with such a low ceiling, in my opinion. There are too many weapons to rely on him from week to week, and once Dion Lewis returns the availability of targets decreases even further.

Normally I begin this little ditty each week on the positive side of a highlight, but I guarantee you that one of the most added players this week will be Hogan. And rather than give a burn notice, or even break my FAAB bank, on a player with a WR3 ceiling only half the time, I’ll take some of the names below.

Here are the top targets to, well, target as your work the wire for Week 6!

Please, blog, may I have some more?