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The political climate has been at a fervent pitch in the US of A, as leadership has been….well, suspect. As a result, the people spoke with their votes and displaced those in power. What if you ruled the world? What would you do? Promise everyone ice cream? Legalize DFS and weed in every state? Help the poor, educate the masses, and provide universal healthcare? Or would you be a racist f@#!, divide, and look to hook up your boys? When these questions are asked, I must revert to an OG, Kurtis Blow, who gave us one of the greatest and most sampled songs of all time. If I Ruled the World, he’d:

I’ve been to my share of church services over the years: white, black, Asian, Catholic, Presbyterian, subdued, musically inclined, traditional, and new age. Regardless of the congregation, bells and whistles, or place of worship, it’s always been about the sermon. A good sermon hits me right in the feels and gets me to come back for more. It’s not just about the message, though. There’s delivery, style, and enthusiasm, which differs from pastor to pastor. But pastors are human, so they get sick or have to travel from time to time. As a result, guest pastors make an appearance. Sometimes for the worse, but sometimes for the better. When the latter occurs, I incline from my recline, move my ass to meld with the back of the pew, transform into a perpendicular, and let me eyes and ears injest the lovely goodness. Which is exactly what happened on Sunday at the Church of Red Zone when I was expecting Joshua Kelley and Justin Jackson to lead the Chargers, but instead it was Troymaine Pope who kept popping off the screen and delivering. Who is Pope and can he continue delivering?

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It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won’t you be…….SMASH! BAM! PUKE! SLAM! Unless you drafted Travis Kelce, George Kittle, Mark Andrews, or Darren Waller, the tight end position has likely caused you to throw remotes at the television or sulk, cry, assume the fetal position, then cry some more. But have no fear. Rather than wandering aimlessly in a GTA-esque fashion, there may be a short-term alleviation of your pain, as Richard Rodgers has entered the neighborhood and is prepared to throw a block party. Wait, bad choice of words. A catch party is more like it, but in this Rona world, that could be a troublesome phrase. 

Rodgers is 28 years old, 6′ 4″, and 257 pounds. He played his college ball at the University of California Berkeley and was selected by the Green Bay Packers in the third round of the 2014 NFL Draft. During his four year stint with the Packers, he played in 63 games and received 181 targets and caught 120 for 1166 yards and 13 touchdowns. In 2018, he was signed by the Philadelphia Eagles. Unfortunately, the next two years were mired by multiple injuries resulting in only eight games played, 1 reception, and injured reserve settlements. He signed with the Washington Football Team in 2020, was released, then ended up back with the Eagles.

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Life is rarely simple, as pros and cons must be seesawed before rendering a decision. We all love football, but what if the only game for consumption was the Jets vs Giants? I see y’all nodding your heads up and down. Now, shut down gambling and fantasy. What now tough guy or gal? How about sex? It’s wonderful and, without it, humans would cease to exist. Calories are burned and smiles are formed, but what if it was Lady Eloise from Boomerang who was purring “Marcus, darling.” Yuck, but it’s sex. Which brings me to Marcus Johnson of the Indianapolis Colts. Who? Exactly, but he caught 5-of-8 targets for 108 yards yesterday against the Cincinnati Bengals. Fling or a thing?

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I was indoctrinated into the Speed Kills philosophy early in life, thanks to Al Davis and the Los Angeles Raiders. Cliff Branch. Bo Jackson. Willie Gault. James Jett. Rocket Ismail. Darrius Heyward-Bey. Puke. “Speed kills. You can’t teach speed. Everything else in the game can be taught, but speed is a gift from God.” – Al Davis. As a result, I always sorted via the SPD column in my Madden fantasy drafts. When it came to real life football, I always gravitated towards the speedsters, no matter how many times I’ve been burned. As Maverick told Goose, I feel the need…the need for speed. Now, speed is not the only thing that matters. There’s route running, the ability to catch, and opportunity, but speed will get a first date from me any day of the week. Yeah, I’m superficial like that. Jeff Smith of the New York Jets, coincidentally, has jets. Literally. 4.41 40-yard dash. He’s also received a whopping 20 targets over the past two games. Should you jet to the wire to scoop him up?

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Urban Dictionary is the best, as no word is left without a home. They are all so colorful with vivid descriptions. Plus, I acquire some street cred when I tell the young kids to get off my lawn. So when I typed in “Chubb” into the site, I was proud of our youth that they gave it the proper utilization. Drafting Nick Chubb for fantasy football gave all who selected him….not a full erection, but a chubb. The offensive line was bolstered and Kevin Stefanski brought his run-dominant ways, but Kareem Hunt was there to siphon off both carries and pass targets. But yesterday, that chubb turned limp as Chubb exited the game with a right knee injury. In his place, Hunt showed off his talents and scored two touchdowns, but it was D’Ernest Johnson who elevated and led the team in carries. Will this Johnson be a one-night stand or a consistent booty call?

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Eight receivers caught at least 2 touchdowns on Sunday. You’ve heard of Mike Evans, Tyler Lockett, Jimmy Graham….Wait, what?! Jimmy Graham caught 2 touchdowns? Geez. And Tyler Kroft? 2020 man. Anyways, Tee Higgins was a highly touted rookie, but Cedrick Wilson (5 rec 107 yds 2 TD), Andy Isabella (4 rec 47 yds 2 TD), and Dontrelle Inman (3 rec 38 yds 2 TD)? What to make of those three and should they be a part of your team?

Andy Isabella is 23 years old, 5′ 9″, and 188 pounds. He played his college ball at UMass and was a finalist for the Biletnikoff Award. Pro Football Focus graded him as the highest-rated wide receiver in college football after Isabella caught 102 pass for 1,698 yards and 13 touchdowns his senior year. The college production was eye-popping, but the physical attributes (4.31 40-yard dash, 77th percentile speed score, and 65th percentile agility score according to PlayerProfiler) and performance at the Senior Bowl (7 rec for 73 yards TD) cemented his status as a NFL prospect. As a result, the Arizona Cardinals selected him with the 62nd overall pick in the 2019 NFL Draft. 

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I love any and all samples. The guy hawking his CD at the mall? Sure, why not. I’ll take a listen. The chocolate tray in front of See’s? Is that a rhetorical question? I rarely buy anything at that time, though. But when I go to Costco? They do such a wonderful job of presentation and location that I’ve actually purchased the goods from time to time. With so much carnage happening in Week Two of the NFL season, our eyes got a sample of many of the replacements, particularly at the tight end position. Below, I will go over four tight ends who moved up the depth chart due to injury. Take a look at the samples and see if purchasing is the right thing to do.

Blake Jarwin of the Dallas Cowboys tore his ACL in Week One. This one brought tears to my eyes, as he was one of my favorite late-round tight ends. The next man up was Dalton Schultz. All he did in Week Two was haul in 9 of 10 targets for 88 yards and a touchdown. Schultz is 24 years old, 6′ 5″, and 244 pounds. He was selected in the fourth round of the 2018 draft out of Stanford. Prior to this year, he had played a total of 27 games and started seven. He caught 13 passes on 18 targets for 122 yards. He runs a 4.76 40-yard dash and has an excellent 11.40 agility score according to Player Profiler, which puts him in the 74th percentile. The situation is a juicy one, as defenses have to contend with Ezekiel Elliot, Amari Cooper, Michael Gallup, and CeeDee Lamb, so he will be free to roam the belly of defenses. Last season, Dak targeted the tight end position a total of 126 times, with Jason Witten garnering 83 of those. In addition, with injuries to the Cowboys offensive line, shorter targets to Schultz could be more in the offering. The negative is that he’s lower on the totem pole for targets, so production could be volatile week-to-week. 

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I’m not a condiment guy when it comes to food. Mustard and relish on my dog? Disgusting. Mayonnaise on my burger? Naw. Let me just savor the meat with egg, mushrooms, grilled onions, lettuce, and tomatoes. I know. I’m a freaking weirdo. Tell me something my wife doesn’t say to me every day. I’m good with dipping my fries in ketchup and fish and chips in clam chowder, though, and hot sauce on my mexican delicacies. Is that cool? Anyways, when it comes to fantasy football, give me all the sauce, especially the hot stuff. I want flips crossing the goal line, hips gyrating in the end zone, and leaps into the stands. I want catches, yards, and first downs. Nyheim Hines provided plenty of sauce on Sunday, scoring two touchdowns on the day. Was this a one squirt occurrence or can we expect a steady flow all season?

Hines is 23 years old, 5′ 9″, and 196 pounds. He played his college ball at NC State and was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts in the fourth round of the 2018 NFL Draft. In his rookie season, he rushed 85 times for 314 yards with 2 touchdowns while catching 63 passes for 425 yards and 2 touchdowns on 63 targets. Last season, the numbers dropped to 52 rushes for 199 yards and 2 touchdowns with 44 receptions for 320 yards on 58 targets, as Jacoby Brissett was thrust into the starting quarterback role due to the retirement of Andrew Luck. 

Entering this season, Hines was slated for third down and two-minute drive duties. With Phillip Rivers signed to be the new quarterback, that role was going to be a prosperous one. Below are the number of targets that Rivers has given to the running back position over his career.

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With the stock market going nuts recently, I thought it appropriate to harken back to my trading days. Some traders utilize tape reading and technical analysis to study price action and figure out the momentum of a stock. Buy high and sell higher is usually the mantra. Or sell low and buy lower. On the flip side, there are value investors who scour 10-Qs, listen to conference calls, and dive into all the fundamentals of a company. Price-to-earning ratios and book value are numbers often utilized. When a stock continues to go up or down, momentum traders are more apt to keep riding the train until it stops. Value investors, on the other hand, look for spots to buy/sell when pessimism or optimism are too high. Fantasy football participants are no different. There are those place emphasis on the most recent results, while others look for bargains or spots to fade when sentiment gets out of whack. Will A. J. Green keep getting hammered by momentum traders or will he be money for value investors?

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Unless you purchased a certain car with a flux capacitor, that permeates time and space after accelerating to 88 mile per hour, off of Craigslist, reliving the past is not an option. But there are ways to recreate aspects of it. Press play on that special jam, and your past and present bodies, minds, and souls gyrate in unison. That old flame? You will never find the exact replica, but sometimes you can find someone eerily similar. When in a rut, often going back to the tried and true techniques brings clarity to a situation. That seems to be what Bill Belichick is doing in Patriots Land, as he drafted Devin Asiasi and Dalton Keene in the 2020 NFL Draft, replicating the 2010 draft when he landed Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski. Can Asiasi and Keene be fantasy viable?

From a physical standpoint, there are tons of similarities.

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Undrafted. Slow. Not Agile. His PlayerProfiler page has him under the 50th percentile in 40-yard dash, speed, burst, agility, and catch radius. More specifically, he’s in the 7th percentile for burst and 13th for 40-yard time. Yuck. To compound things, he suffered a torn ACL in Week 9 of last year. So, why do I think Preston Williams of the Miami Dolphins is a value as the 54th wide receiver and 137th overall player off the board, according to NFFC ADP from 8/1 to 8/23?

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