I hope I don’t get sued for using the CW logo. Who am I kidding? I’m sure they would appreciate the exposure to the four people that read this article. With that said, they have come a long way from their UPN/WB days. You know, that channel that gave us hits such as Homeboys in Outer Space, The Mullets and Platypus Man. To be fair, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a hit and I got my wrestling fix from WWE SmackDown.
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When I discovered that Brandon LaFell’s nickname was “JoJo,” I immediately went to YouTube and looked up one of my favorite songs to sing at karaoke. It’s a song that describes owning LaFell in fantasy football. You see… Lately is about a guy that thinks his girl is cheating on him. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it but it’s impossible not to. The signs are smacking him right in the face. At some point, he needs to deal with it and move on.
Is it time for D.J. to keep playing that song on and on and on? Before we can get the party started, let’s rewind and take a look at how we got here. The Arizona Cardinals selected David Johnson in the third round (#86 overall) of the 2015 NFL Draft. Bruce Arians raved about him in May: “Very, very bright. The kid can do anything as far as a wide receiver, running back, fullback. He will find a niche quick because he can learn so much. And he was a good kickoff return guy” (courtesy of Mark Morales-Smith). Unfortunately, Johnson injured his hamstring in training camp, which prompted the Cardinals’ front office to acquire Chris Johnson for depth behind oft-injured Andre Ellington.
Well we’re movin on up, to the east side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky. Movin on up to the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie. Fish don’t fry in the kitchen; Beans don’t burn on the grill. Took a whole lotta tryin’ just to get up that hill. Now we’re in the big leagues. Gettin’ our turn at bat.
The player in this week’s Bear or Bull was stuck in the Pacific Northwest his first three years in the league. Stuck behind an All-Pro, he didn’t get a piece of the pie. Things got worse when he was cut then claimed by the Cleveland Browns, but now he’s moved east and finds himself in a great situation and may get his turn at bat. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Robert Turbin. While doing research on Turbin, I really gained an admiration for him. The Jefferson’s theme song really resonated with me when learning about Turbin’s past and personality. Here’s a brief synopsis:
A blast from the past with a cute little beat that can make your time on the toilet a little more enjoyable. You’re welcome. Now, I’m not an advocate of pursuing O.P.P. (Other People’s P???y). It’s just not my style and I think it’s dirty. With that said, I am considering DGB. Which is worse? DGB is Dorial Green-Beckham, a size/speed freak that was considered the best wide receiver prospect since Randy Moss. He was the LeBron James of high school football back in 2011. At his pro day, he measured in at 6’5″, 237 lbs. with 9″ hands and 32 1/2″ arm length. He ran the 40-yard dash in 4.49 seconds and 3-cone drill in 6.89 seconds.
If a player balls out in his first game, you could call it a one-hit wonder. If he does it the following week, then you must go hmmmm. Three games makes a trend. Four puts you on the fantasy football magic carpet ride.
Here are the first four games of Stefon Diggs’ career:
To put that into perspective:
#Vikings’ S.Diggs has 419 rec. yds in 1st 4 career gms –only A.Boldin (464 yds in ‘03) has fared better in the #NFL since 1960.
The final score score was 36-7 and it wasn’t even that close. The Dolphins’ one successful drive was the first one of the second half. It was good to see some fight, although I suspect that head coach Dan Campbell went all Mick Foley on some fools at halftime.
It was cute to see Miami come into this game with some confidence after dispatching of two Arena-league teams. The Dolphins have talent (I picked them to appear in the Super Bowl). Doh! But… you can’t be a serious contender when you have a fight song like this…
With Halloween this weekend, the country has been consumed with ranking their favorite sweets. The divergent opinions and tastes are what make life beautiful and interesting. How boring would the internet be if everyone agreed with each other?
Here are two different descriptions of Butterfinger:
“Butterfingers. We’re not exactly positive what’s going on inside of a Butterfinger — what is it? And why is it orange? — but they sure are delicious. Nobody’s gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger (both a good candy strategy and a euphemism for something inappropriate, probably).”- ETonline.com
“Oh come on; this can’t have been designed for human consumption. This isn’t a candy bar, this is a chocolate-coated grenade filled with shrapnel made of peanut brittle. I feel like Butterfinger was an elaborate prank that got to the point where it was too embarrassing to call it off, so they just went with it, and because of Bart Simpson, people still buy the f***ing things (I’M OLD).”- Jezebel.com
What’s this have to do with football? Butterfinger may be an acceptable name for a candy, but not for a football player that’s paid to catch the ball… The average catch rate lies in the low-to-mid 60% range. The player I’m going to talk about today has posted eight seasons under 60% and is currently at 50% for 2015.
In 2012, safety Donte Whitner said Colin Kaepernick’s nickname was Jafar from Aladdin. Works for me. But Jafar was the villain. And Kaepernick is a hero. He led the 49ers to the Super Bowl in his first year as the starter. Ron Jaworski said, “I truly believe Colin Kaepernick could be one of the greatest quarterbacks ever.” Then things started to change. Defenses figured out the read-option. As his weaknesses were exposed, the criticism mounted. Trent Dilfer in 2013 said, “While Kaepernick remains an incredible player and an incredible athlete, his development as a passer has ‘plateaued’ this season, and he hasn’t made enough progress in his second season as a starter.” The hero was slowly turning into the villain.
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