Overall: 22-23-1, Week 4: 6-6-0.

Sorry to disappoint the millions of #Disgrace/Delight fans this week, but Beddict was moving from the “Beddict Penthouse” to “Beddict Manor”. With no internet, countless supplies to unpack, and a chicken coop for my baby, Beatrice, there was simply no time to put forth the proper effort into my Wednesday post. I was told the move would take three hours total… it took nine! Not even the Elder Gods could have foretold the savage beating my wallet endured. Kudos to those of you who are professional movers or have at some point worked for a moving company, for those men are soldiers of the highest order. We can chat about this another time, but feel free to come watch football with me in my new pad and watch some football anytime. Sky’s in my basement right now. “SKY!!!! It puts the lotion on the skin.”

A couple side notes here… Last week’s lock of the week, the Baltimore Ravens (-3), destroyed the Carolina Panthers as Steve Smith Sr. gave his old team the kind of pounding I haven’t witnessed since the Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape. If we stop there, it would seem like I had a great week… A young man named Matt correctly pointed out that I didn’t seem to realize Oakland was playing in London this past week and not in their home stadium. If only my editor could not only fix my countless grammatical errors, but also do all of my research for me, maybe then, I’d be better at this. [Jay’s Note: Maybe!] Seriously though, that was amateurish of me and it will not happen again. That is, if Jay(Wrong) alerts me when and which teams are playing in London. [Jay’s Note: Sure thing! Here ya go…]

I didn’t get in my Thursday pick last week, and I changed my pick Philly/SF pick to San Francisco at the last minute, giving me a .500 record on the week. Normally, I’d be disheartened by such a performance, but that was before speaking with numerous sharps who seemed to have similar issues. Remember guys, if betting was easy, everybody would do it.

I hit Twitter multiple times with my Packers pick this week, as I was feeling blowout all the way. I also nailed my Matt Asiata prediction (of him scoring no more than 5 points). Unfortunately for me, I was forced to start Asiata everywhere, but you know what makes the pain from being bent over in fantasy go away, don’t you? Yeah, having some floozy from Tinder ride you like a pony with the bidet at full blast hitting that special spot. Winning money is another possible cure, and that’s the focus here, so let’s get to it. This is Betting With Beddict!!!!

The quest for the perfect week continues…

 

Chicago (+2.5) @ Carolina – I have about as much faith in the Carolina secondary as I do in Christian Slater carrying a straight-to-Netflix film. The losses of Captain Munnerlyn and Mike Mitchell from the defensive backfield, paired with “Da Kraken” being placed on paid leave are proving to be insurmountable. Cutler should have no problem leaving the Panthers secondary looking like Hope Solo’s tweeter.

Cleveland (+1) @ Tennessee – Probably wouldn’t touch this game, but Tennessee hasn’t accomplished anything but ineptitude since crushing Kansas City in Week 1. Bishop Sankey’s workload should at long last be increased, but I wouldn’t count on him breaking out against this tough Browns defense.

St. Louis (-7) @ Philadelphia – I fully expect the Rams front four to wreak havoc on this Eagles O-line which has been obliterated by injuries. I’d bet my life on Robert Quinn getting his first sack this week… that is if my chicken didn’t depend on me for survival. And I suppose injuries and/or triple teams are possible. I’m also expecting Aaron Donald’s coming out party. Rams could steal this one.

Atlanta ( +4) @ New York Giants – These two teams are more difficult to figure out than why Will Smith’s son keeps getting work in Hollywood. Oh yeah, his Dad is Will Smith. Anyway, I like the Giants to win by a field goal as the Falcons offensive line is decimated by injuries, evidenced by their pickup of Jaguars castoff, Cameron Bradfield, the Geo Metro of O-lineman. The Giants are prone to shooting themselves in the foot and it’s tough for me to predict a cover against an up and down Falcons team. I know Atlanta has been disgraceful on the road thus far, but this one will be close. Witness.

Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (-10) – The Saints can’t be this bad, can they? They’re 1-3, and I’m taking them by TEN against the Bucs, who just beat what we thought was a solid Pittsburgh team on the road? I wouldn’t bet on this game with someone else’s money, but I like the Saints to open a can on Lovie and the hopeless Buccaneers.

Houston @ Dallas (-6.5) – Will someone please expose the Houston Texans, PLEASE!? This team should not be 3-1 right now, and I’m expecting a beat down in Dallas on Sunday. Houston has faced about the easiest schedule in football thus far, and has not been great in stopping the run. The Cowboys’ offensive line is the best in football and I expect DeMarco Murray to continue piling up yardage with the occasional decent throw by the now noodle-armed Tony Romo.

Buffalo (+7) @ Detroit – I wwitched to Buffalo at the last minute believing new starter Kyle Orton can keep them close. If Calvin Johnson looked anywhere close to 100 percent, I may have stuck with the Lions, but Buffalo actually matches up pretty well here. Again, I wouldn’t touch this game but if you’re gonna twist my sack, I’ll take the points.

Baltimore (+3.5) @ Indianapolis – Can I have two locks of the week? No way the Colts beat this Ravens team by more than a field goal. I would say Baltimore is the most underrated football team in the NFL as of now, and should win this game straight up. Colts believers can’t seriously be pumped about running up the score on the hapless Jaguars and Titans, can they? Get real people; You must be higher than Jim Irsay on Wednesday afternoon. I really, REALLY like this Ravens squad. Easy call here.

Pittsburgh (6.5) @ Jacksonville – At this point, I’m taking 7 or less every time against this utterly useless Jaguars team. Cecil Shorts and Marqise Lee are both out for the Jags, and Big Ben should decimate this pathetic secondary on the other side of the ball. I see hardly any talent in Jacksonville and wonder how long head coach Gus Bradley can hang onto his job. This is the week Marcus Wheaton breaks out by the way. Expect a couple big plays out of him.

Arizona @ Denver (-7.5) – I highly doubt Drew Stanton is able to do much of anything against this secondary as his pathetic completion percentage will finally cost him. Many are predicting a big game from Andre Ellington but I don’t really see that happening either. I’m feeling blow out, all the way, here.

Kansas City (+5.5) @ San Francisco – The Elder Gods have been known to say, “ He who bets against Alex Smith shall be emptying their wallets….and their souls.” Revenge weighs on Smith’s mind like a mack truck, and I fully expect them to keep it close. The Chiefs looked great Monday, didn’t they? Looking forward to this one.

New York Jets @ San Diego (-7) – Ughhhh, the San Diego Chargers may bore us to death like a Woody Allen movie, but they are looking extremely solid as of now. I must admit that I’ve never been more wrong about a football team than I was about San Diego. Before the season I thought they should blow up the current team and rebuild, as in my mind they would never be better than 8-8 or 9-7 as currently constructed. [Jay’s Note: LOL, after going to the divisional playoffs?] Your boy Beddict was wrong, ya’ll! Geno Smith is the Chad Lowe of the NFL and by that I mean, nobody wants to see him on TV or anywhere for that matter. Vick should be starting by next week.

TY27JbGSSyYc2QBP49AQ_chad_lowe

 

Cincinnati (-1.5) @ New England – It’s tough to bet on the Patriots after witnessing them get curb stomped this past Monday night. I wouldn’t put it past Belichick to pull this one off, but the Bengals have more talent at seemingly every position including, (gulp) QUARTERBACK. I’d go big on Bengals here.

Lock of the week:

Seattle (7.5) @ Washington – I will be buying this to 7, just to make certain that the glory is mine, but this game could and should get uglier than Oprah’s bathroom after a “Ben and Jerry’s” binge. If Trent Williams misses this game, Seattle might win by 30. Coming off the bye week, the Seahawks are ready to unleash a passionate fury so incredible that I’d imagine Quinton Tarantino will someday film a movie about it. Seattle has the advantage in every possible way here and I’m suggesting you cash in on the future back-to-back Super Bowl Champions.

 

Thanks for joining me for another edition of Betting with Beddict. Per usual, it’s been a real treat. If you’re not doing so already, look me up on Twitter at @Beddict143 and we can chat about life, love and fantasy sports.

  1. Julio White says:
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    i stopped at “feel free to come watch football with me in my new pad and watch some football anytime.” you shit out some great nonsense. another installment of Losing with Tehol. dope.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Julio White: why did you stop there? Feel free to come over, buddy!

  2. Ryno says:
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    Tehol

    Do you think Flacco would be a good plug and play through-out the rest of the season? I have Foles and want to protect myself from a game like last week

    And Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ryno: Yea, Flacco is always a threat with the deep ball. If defenses would stop pass interfering Torrey Smith we would expect larger numbers. I doubt he has many or any 3/4 touchdown games but its always possible and he’s usually solid. he should be owned right now

  3. Dan says:
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    TEHOL. Nice column bruhhhhh

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Dan: DAN. Thanks Broseph. what are you doing this weekend?

      • Dan says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Nothin much. Trying to impress the new lady friend. But mostly just drinks, friends, and all sorts of ill shit…and by ill shit I mean watching all these sucky college football games. Are you completely moved in? Moving is when you find out who your real friends are haha.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Dan: good luck with that. I’m not totally unpacked yet but it’s going well except I live closer to wilderness and theres hella spiders and I’m spending most of my time slaughtering them

          • dan says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: You’re a braver man than I. Spiders are one of the only things in this life that scare me hahaha.

  4. Tarman Got Him says:
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    Last minute question

    Pick 2 to start

    Forte @ ATL
    Stacy @ SF
    Ivory @ DEN
    Bradshaw @ HOU
    Forsett @ TB

    and

    Would you start Reggie Wayne for any of these

    Julio Jones
    Kennan Allen
    Michael Crabtree

    Some are obvious but while in here, ask. Haha.

    Thank you

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Tarman Got Him: for this week? those match ups are incorrect. Ivory is @ San Diego

      Forte is @Carolina
      Stacy is @Philly
      Forsett is @ Colts
      Id still go with hogs and go Forte and Stacy

      Wayne has tough matchup this week but wouldn’t shock me if he outproduced crabtree

      • Tarman Got Him says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: What the hell was I looking at? Hahahaha. I think I was looking at next week. Anyhow, I looked at the actual matchups, thanks for the real quick response. I got my rosters set.

        Thanks so much!!!

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Tarman Got Him: You got it dude (Michelle Tanner Voice)

  5. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    you seem to be confusing mike mitchell and william moore. William Moore is a S that plays for CAR and got hurt recently. see deep IDP leagues are good for something.

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: nevermind, you meant because he left after last year. CAR defense also lost starting safety Moore recently though, which furthers your argument. Only being in IDP leagues for this year for the first time isn’t as helpful as i previously thought.

  6. goodfold2 says:
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    i’m gonna start trying to see how i keep up with ya. i’ll use your spreads too to make sure it’s fair.
    CHI +2.5
    CLE +1
    STL +7 (Rams are the dogs here, i know it’s just a typo above)
    NYG -4
    DAL -6.5 (hard to take DAL by this much over anybody with that defense)
    NO -10
    BUF +7
    CIN -1.5 (this should be the lock of the week)
    SEA -7.5 (really want to take WAS here, i wouldn’t expect SEA to give too much of a shit about this opp)
    BAL +3.5 (if this was 3 i’d go IND and expect to tie)
    SD -7
    PIT -6.5 (PIT clearly knows how to play down, see TB game, this is scary)
    ARI +7.5 (this is a lot of points with this defense)
    SF -5.5

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @goodfold2: Finally!!!! A worthy opponent!!!! Lets get it on (pause). Glad to have you on board, buddy

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: well so far i’m 3-10-1, lost one by a half point (SF). In real life if not for fantasy hockey drafts the entire day i would’ve actually bet on CLE, and would’ve needed that huge effort just to tie. would’ve been awful. If this was for real money i probably would’ve only bet on 4 of these (NYG, CIN,SD,CLE), and would’ve gone 2-1-1.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @goodfold2: its tough bro. you’ll bounce back next week

  7. Frank White says:
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    Wtutp Tehol.. just wondering for example the St. Louis @ Philly, Shouldn’t you put St. Louis + 7 since they’re getting 7 points instead of – 7 ?? Hey my bad, I’m not trying to correct you my Man but I didn’t know if it was a mistake or how it’s supposed to be written

    • Frank White says:
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      Oh I’m sorry, that was the only Typo, sorry I thought they were all like that and someone already caught it. I was gonna say I would’ve put MAD action on that game!!! LOL. Flex – Gates or Forsett??

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Frank White: Forsett

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank White: Yes it should say PLUS 7 . You are correct Frank. I’ll have changed ASAP

  8. Frank White says:
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    I have Cam starting but I’m always worried about him cause he still may not be running and he hasn’t broke over 20 points yet this year. He’s projected 25 but what about Glennon vs NO?? He’s been killing it and proj 23 points. I’m a little scared though but help me on this one. Or Fitz vs DET.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank White: NOT FITZ!!! Id have to go Cam here but I think Glennon will do some positive things as well. CAM BAM

  9. BP says:
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    Love the Rams pick. And agree. +7 though, right? Also, Jets are 1-3 in large part due to their schedule. They should win by at least a touchdown. SD will be sleeping on them, and Rivers is due for a couple stupid INT. As long as the Defense does their part, Ivory (9 carries 51 yards on the FIRST DRIVE vs DET but no carries UNTIL THEIR FOURTH POSSESSION) can win this by himself, but hopefully Geno and Co lend a hand. Not too many weeks left for the Jets as major underdogs. Take advantage while you can.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @BP: dude I keep getting burned by the Jets. I do like their team tho, especially if Milliner can get on the phuckin field.

  10. kevinmac says:
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    Never bet against the wizard known as Chip Kelly. (or just the best special teams unit in the league)

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @kevinmac: THE RAMS COVERED THO. #miracle

  11. Frank White says:
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    Wusup Tehol… My 12 team 3 receiver PPR is
    Cam
    Antonio brown
    maclin
    cruz
    D Murray
    Fred Jackson
    donnell
    bush
    Carson Palmer
    ryan Mathews
    darin reaves
    miles Austin
    Anquan Boldin
    james jones
    So I have the #2 waiver pick and there’s, Brenden Oliver, Andre Williams & Ronnie Hillman.. 1 – Are any of them worth to lose my waiver spot?? 2 – I got Mathews coming back in 2 weeks and Bush is playing like garbage. Should I be looking for next couple weeks RB or longer term like Hilman? I mean Oliver looks good but I got Mathews unless he’ll be a threat to him. I thought Williams would be a good pickup cause ESPN says Jennings will be out at LEAST 3 weeks and Yahoo is putting him as an RB1 till he’s gone. What you think Brotha?? Or should I say, What would Tehol do if it were your team?? Lol

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank White: oh yea mos def!! all 3 good adds. I think Williams number 1 here. then I’d go Hillman probably longer term.

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