As we now enter the post-Thanksgiving Football phase (or in Boston, the “post-BAWHSTON WAS RAWHBED FROM UNDEFEATED HISTORY!”), it’s hard to understand how we’re already on the doorsteps of Week 13 and how someone can gain five pounds in one four-day Holiday period. The answer to both is bourbon, but regardless, the point remains: Alcohol! AND, wow, this season has gone by fast. (With a lot of injuries.) That being said, I do want to take this time on your Monday, to thank everyone for being a part of the site. I could have wrote this Thursday, or Friday, or I guess any day up until now, but, well, you know. Alcohol! And while my Chargers are charging (see what I did there?) to a first overall pick in next year’s draft, I guess, in this time of thanks, we should all thank the game of Football. As usual, the wonderful sport continues to provide us reasons to kill our liver, protect women and couches with guns on them, and Will Smith (bonus foreign accent!) movies about concussions. I truly despise this game that I love. An amazing journey we take here if you ask me! Or a masochistic one? Nah… that’s what Fantasy Football is for.

Here’s what else I saw in Week 12’s Sunday Games…

Beckham Catch

Odell Beckham Jr. – 9 REC, 142 YDS, 1 TD. Yeah, Odell might be good, but Wikipedia still thinks David Beckham is more worthy of search results.

LeGarrette Blount – 9 CAR, 27 YDS. Blount getting rolled up in snow… this game is taking me back… Way, way, back.

Blake Bortles – 30/49, 329 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT and 6 CAR, 33 YDS. Blake Bortles bungles barrier blatantly!

Tom Brady – 23/42, 280 YDS, 3 TD. You are locked in a room with a Patriots fan, Duke fan, and an Alabama fan. What do you do next?

Jordan Cameron – 2 REC, 13 YDS. Did Jordan Cameron die or something?

Kirk Cousins – 20/29, 302 YDS, 1 TD and 4 CAR, 1 YDS, 1 TD. THESE NEW YORK GIANTS, I CALL THEM “THE DEEP SOUTH”, BECAUSE THEY LET COUSINS SCORE AND THE RESULTS WERE NOT PRETTY.

Vernon Davis – 2 REC, 10 YDS. Still in the league, still doing nothing.

Ryan Fitzpatrick – 22/37, 277 YDS, 4 TD and 5 CAR, 21 YDS. Wooo Fitzmagic! Time for another shot of Irish joy!

Nick Foles – 30/46, 228 YDS, 3 INT and 1 CAR, 2 YDS. So the idea of “Nick Foles: NFL Quarterback” is over at this point, right?

Antonio Gates – 4 REC, 53 YDS, 2 TD. Antonio Gates: Very talented.

Jimmy Graham – 4 REC, 75 YDS. Was carted off the field early in the fourth quarter, coming down awkwardly from a catch attempt. That’s what happens when you keep going for three’s… It could be serious, but we’ll await futher news before joining the rest of the Seahawks fans at the bottom of the cliff. Don’t worry, the bottom has a Starbucks.

Ryan Griffin – 4 REC, 72 YDS, 1 TD. Saints. Man.

Brian Hoyer – 21/27, 205 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT and 3 CAR, -3 YDS. The Texans are going to do just good enough to justify not drafting a quarterback in 1st round of the 2016 NFL Draft, aren’t they? AREN’T THEY.

Chris Ivory – 21 CAR, 87 YDS, 1 TD and 2 REC, 15 YDS. Ivory? I’m more of a Zest man myself.

Jermaine Kearse – 4 REC, 47 YDS, 2 TD. Kearse the bench he was on…

elipenguin

Eli Manning – 26/51, 321 YDS, 2 TD, 3 INT. If Eli’s not careful, he’s liable not to get that new batch of Star Wars action figures Archie promised him for Christmas.

Brandon Marshall – 9 REC, 131 YDS, 2 TD. Brandon Marshall: Above average at football.

LeSean McCoy – 19 CAR, 70 YDS and 3 REC, 31 YDS, 1 TD. Someone’s Eagles-nostalgia-driven fantasy team (you know who you are) of LeSean McCoy, DeSean Jackson (2 REC, 66 YDS, 1 TD), and Jeremy Maclin (9 REC, 160 YDS, 1 TD) is finally paying off… It only took 12 weeks!

Heath Miller – 5 REC, 45 YDS. Why isn’t Heath Miller made out of toffee? This destroys my belief in marketing.

Lamar Miller – 5 CAR, 2 YDS and 3 REC, 11 YDS. You stupid Dolphins.

Brock Osweiler – 23/42, 270 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 2 CAR, 4 YDS. Any showing of competence by the Osweiler-led Broncos would be considered unsettling. Which is exactly the reason why we didn’t see any.

palmerrun

Carson Palmer – 24/40, 271 YDS and 3 CAR, 6 YDS, 1 TD. You could’ve timed Palmer’s scramble for that touchdown (shown above) with a calendar…

Philip Rivers – 29/43, 300 YDS, 4 TD and 5 CAR, 9 YDS. Fret, fret, disaster, drink, fret, repeat. The 2015 Chargers in a nutshell.

Ben Rothlisberger – 36/55, 456 YDS, 1 TD, 2 INT and 5 CAR, 18 YDS. Todd Haley haunts the nightmares of good decisions.

C.J. Spiller – 1 CAR, -2 YDS and 2 REC, 8 YDS. Very impressive, Spiller. Very impressive indeed.

Demaryius Thomas – 1 REC, 36 YDS. Was Demaryius not playing? Or was he playing, and it was just hard to tell with Brock Osweiler throwing the football?

Shane Vereen – 2 CAR, 15 YDS and 4 REC, 21 YDS. Vereen, along with the entire Giants running game (Rashad Jennings – 6 CAR, 14 YDS and 2 REC, 14 YDS, Orleans Darkwa – 2 CAR, 2 YDS, and Andre Williams – 2 CAR, 1 YDS) knows truly that winning the NFC East is the equivalent of a participation trophy in the Special Olympics. This is my only rational conclusion, based on the past 12 weeks of data from these players.

Sammy Watkins – 6 REC, 158 YDS, 2 TD. Sammy Watkins is the worst thing in the universe.

Wes Welker – 2 REC, 12 YDS. Wes Welker is on the Rams? Wes Welker is still playing!? Those are direct quotes from Wes Welker.

Markus Wheaton – 9 REC, 201 YDS, 1 TD. Who sat Markus Wheaton yesterday? Everyone? Everyone. Okay, just checking.

Russell Wilson – 21/30, 345 YDS, 5 TD and 4 CAR, 14 YDS. I love Mackelmore… especially baked on a cedar plank and served with rice pilaf.

 

Final Thought

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  1. Scott says:
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    I can only surmise from CJ Anderson’s performance yesterday, that Belichek was focused on stopping the passing game. Did he forget who was QBing?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Naw, it’s only because everyone has CJ on their bench or wire is why he probably had his best day in fantasy.

      • SwaggerJackers says:
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        @Jay: Yup!

        Same can be said for Maclin. As soon as everyone feels good about benching him for his weeks upon weeks of underperforming, he goes off.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @SwaggerJackers: Yeah, him too. Basically everyone I own this year

  2. Scott says:
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    I need a backup TE for the playoffs. Crockett Gilmore or Julius Thomas?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Gilmore.

      • Chicken Dinner says:
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        @Jay: Alcohol?

  3. thestretch says:
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    I like how the bills followed through with their gameplan of getting Sammy more targets, work.. 9 targets first half with 168 yards and 2 touchdowns…it must have worked too well or something because he had 1 target for 0 yards the second half.

    I just don’t understand it sometimes.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @thestretch: yeah, can’t handle him this year. His production output is even more random than Vincent Jackson.

  4. First Lady of the Nation says:
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    Welker is on the Rams! … Haha can picture him yelling …that shiz is funny.

  5. Clint says:
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    What do you make of the Broncos backfield now? Would you drop Gore for CJ Anderson in ppr league as a backup RB to J-Stew/Lamar/Blount or stick w/the guy we know is getting all the carries instead?

    On a venting note you can ignore if you like, I’m angrier than ever after last night’s game. It was one thing for the Packers to lose to the Bears at home on a night they were retiring Favre’s number but it was entirely another to watch an even FURTHER depleted Pats team easily push Denver around knowing they were not only depleted but coming off a short week to boot. How the #intedwetrust crowd continues to think McCarthy/Thompson know what the hell they’re doing when they had a mostly healthy squad coming off a bye heading into Denver w/Noodle Arm Peyton at the helm & still got smoked is beyond me. Thompson said once he models the team after New England too. Pathetic. And every day we hear the same sad mantra of ‘we feel good about the guys we have..we don’t wanna do anything drastic?’ No WAY Bellichick would let the nonsense in Green Bay go on week after week and miserable loss after loss like this. I hope Pats fans appreciate the dynasty they’ve had because it’s unbelievable when you consider all the witch hunts they’ve endured, free agency, and an offensive era that includes Peyton freaking Manning to deal with.

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Clint: Pats fans appreciate it. Everyone else needs to recognize they were witnesses to such greatness, but who am I kidding the rest of the world is too busy crying and hating.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Clint: I’d hold onto Gore a bit longer. I was one of the guys who wasn’t worried about CJ, but I’m not sure how he rebuilds his value as opposed to the other guys on your roster, including Gore.

      And on the vent, I would agree with it. I give the Patriots (and their fans) a lot of shit, but a franchise that remains a legitimate Super Bowl threat for over a decade has to be applauded.

      • Clint says:
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        @Jay:
        What about David Johnson over Gore considering CJhalfK is OFS with the broken leg and Ellington could be out most of the rest of it with the turf toe?

  6. Scott says:
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    Wow, Colts receivers were actually serviceable with Hasselbeck under Center.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Yeah, Luck’s injuries had to have been major for this much of a difference.

  7. goodfold2 says:
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    almost all of DT’s lack of catches were either
    1 good defense
    2. drops
    3 cold weather?
    4. as pointed out elsewhere, dez and him share 88, and the effort level appears to be wearing off.
    it mostly wasn’t bad throws.

    • thestretch says:
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      @goodfold2:

      bebe Thomas has always been a drop machine. hes also probably (from what I can tell) the most standup ‘elite’ receiver I can think of. most of these guys are d-bags in all honesty. dez comes to mind

      that said brock osweiler, believe it or not, is not only boosting denvers value but their fantasy value as well.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @thestretch: i’m one of the ones who’s been saying they should’ve been playing him since maybe week 5 or so, having owned Peyton in one 2 QB dynasty (and first year draft, so i paid big time for peyton).

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: Yeah, I’d say a combination of everything was at work.

  8. thestretch says:
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    the dolphins new coach, which is like their 10th new coach this year has assured us that he’s “committed to the run game” and “we need to establish it early”. so great news for lamar miller owners, you can now expect 8-10 touches a game compared to 5….

    what a joke that organization is. I was making fun of how bad the 49ers were as a club until now. hats off to blaine gabber man. kids working hard and making that team serviceable.

    thanks for the write-ups. looking forward to some advise per usual

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @thestretch: Thanks! And yeah, it’s always frustrated how they’ve handled Miller. At some point, he’s just going to be too old to baby around and they’ll have lost his window. Not that they cared in the first place.

  9. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    2 QB dynasty PPR. out of budget, out of competition only hoarding up next year pieces over here. start 4 any IDP’s, 2 RB, 3 WR, 2 flexes.
    rodgers/rodfather/osweiler/keenum (stupidly spent a bit on keenum, just in case he starts next year)
    ivory/forte/forsett/woodhead/white
    r.matthews/d-jax/agholor/edelman/hankerson
    ertz/green julius
    IR -allen/jordy
    K ARI kicker
    CAR DEF
    IDP’s = david/dansby/d-jax (IND)/collins/ogletree

    Drop White for Matthews (PHI) it’ll probably be free, nobody but me bid on Forsett and Matthews could’ve been bid for 2 days already (3 adds per week, but waivers everyday with bidding). what about s.roberts/tamme dropping hankerson? I’m sure i need a 3rd TE in Tamme, but i could start up 3 of them. Or maybe having Hankerson already adding Tamme over Agholor could make sense. But of course Agholor probably has more upside than most of these listed guys.

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: gilmore and watson also out there if one of these guys has more long term possible value than some of the guys i got.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: Yes on White for Matthews. And yeah, I’d rather hold Agholor, and if you need that depth, Hankerson for Tamme isn’t a bad idea.

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Jay: not too much buying the seth roberts blowup

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