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2013 Fantasy Football

Sky

Romo-te Control

October 7, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 152 Comments

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Well, we knew there’d be plenty of fantasy points scored in this Broncos vs Cowboys game. We had all those superstars. You know, Manning, Orange Julius, Welker, DT, Decker, Dez…hrm, it feels like I’m missing someone. Who could possibly still be left to talk about that’s fantasy relevant in a game like this? Answer: well, quite a few guys really but in reality very few people have talked about the under the radar performance of Tony Romo so far this year. It’s understandable. He’s not wowing anyone with his stats. In fact, he was being outscored by Alex Smith in QB scoring rankings for fantasy heading into Sunday. But then Romo done lost his mind. Tony threw for 506 total yards on the day, going 25/35 for 5 touchdowns and a 2 point conversion. Yes, yes, he threw a soul-crushing INT late in the game but you don’t lose more or less points based on how frustrating an INT is. Looking back where certain QBs went in your draft vs Romo, you have to ask yourself, ‘why did I spend all that on a QB when this was still out there?’. In reality, QB is a deep position so it’s hard to get too mad when days like this happen but the reality is Romo has been a consistent scorer for his owners most of this year and there’s no reason to think it can’t keep up. Ok, not 500 yards keep up but being startable most weeks keep up is still valid. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…

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JB Gilpin

Last Second Decisions: The Week Where JB Reveals His True Identity

October 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Last Second Decisions | 148 Comments

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So I know you’re all wondering – what do these Razzball guys really do with their lives!?  Spoiler!  You already know if you read Basketball.  Oh well…

If you don’t read/play Fantasy Basketball – give it a chance!  Start up an RCL League!  If you haven’t played it much, it’s the perfect blend of Fantasy Football and Baseball.  “Wait – why is JB shamelessly pandering?!  I thought he was gonna tell us about his life fighting crime!”   Whilst I keep the rogue streets of North Cackalacky free from the seedy (pork)underbelly of crime, I have unfortunately shifted my sleep schedule.  I had to buy a blast shield for my windows.  It was like I was in the Peach Trees Mega Block when Judge Dredd came.  Fortunately Michael Caine IS NOT my butler and that scene from Batman Begins didn’t happen where Bale goes – “Bats are nocturnal!”  I woulda just slapped that foo’.  Long, disheveled and borderline lunatic rantings aside (those last couple of sentences could’ve been from a Tehol article… Never go full Tehol!) – my point is I’ll be getting to your LSDs closer to noon than right away.  It also means I’m writing this up on my Palm Pilot while staking out the mean streets of the Triangle on Saturday Night.  So if anything changes dramatically on Sunday Morning, I’ll get to it before kickoff!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
J-FOH

The Handcuff Report – “Woodhead? But we just met…..OK, I’m game”

October 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 136 Comments

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This might seem like an inappropriate proposition when our lead this week has only 19 carries for 90 yards on the year with zero rushing TD’s, but trust me, I’m writing this with the best of intentions. Danny Woodhead was the apple of Phillip River’s eye this past weekend with his 5 catches for 54 yards and 2 TD’s. “But Jack, those are his only two TD’s on the season?” That is correct diligent commenter, but please let me finish. On the year he is second on the Chargers with 22 receptions, has provided a different look in the backfield with his 4.7 YPC and looks like he uses “what’s up brah” as a greeting. If you are looking for a bye week flyer or a potential PPR flex then look no further than Woodhead. Am I the only one here giggling every time I say his name? Before I move on to the ranks I want to pay my final respects to the 2013 Fantasy Baseball Season. It was one hell of a ride for those of us in the RCL and to my frequent commenters, I say thank you for making the ride that much better. Now I can fully throw myself into football, my 2nd fantasy love, and say goodbye to my old friend fantasy baseball. I was recently comforted by frequent commenter Kid A when he said that fantasy football was his methadone for fantasy baseball. Now I can sit back and drink my nice warm cup of fantasy methadone and give my proper dues to this icon and this icon. Without these two, none of this would be possible and with that I want to encourage all the Fantasy Footballers to give baseball a shot. Razzball makes the game that some view as meh, if you follow the guys on CBS, fun and a really good ride. Now on to the ranks

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LT Murray IV

Hard Targets: Beddict Channels Miley Cyrus and Lays Down Some Bangerz

October 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Hard Targets | 39 Comments

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Greetings! Tis I, Beddict, and I’m gonna drop some serious Bangerz on you today. Sky stole my breaking bad idea, so I suppose my version will have to drop on TeholBeddict.com. Drop by if you want to witness some hot solo jerk sessions and some life changing mankini shots. Back to Sky: I mean the guy is on season 4 for the God’s sake, and he has the balls to drop a breaking bad special on that ass and ask for no spoilers? Ok, think Tehol, think! Is there anything in this incredible universe more fascinating than the greatness that was Breaking Bad? After pulling my hair out and choking the chicken a couple times, it hit me! MILEY. Is it the Salvia smoking, the charmingly boyish haircut, the boner inducing twerking, or is it the blindingly white skin that almost makes Dakota Fanning look African American? We all know Miley’s super producer Mike Will is tagging and bagging that scrumptious pasty pancake ass. I mean, he’s got to be right?!? God dammit, I wanna be him, and that’s probably the first time I’ve ever wished to be another human being. I’d literally kill to bang my wrecking balls against that lurid, smooth skin. Speaking of wrecking balls, that’s my favorite song of Cyrus’s new album, which I listened to on my flight to Maui Thursday morning, specifically for the purpose of writing this prized piece. What I’m doing here is going through Miley’s song titles from her most recent album, Bangerz, taking a quote from them and placing the players under the songs I see fit for them after this last week. As per usual I will be breaking down the targets and touches for players that stood out to me. Oh and one more thing: It slipped my mind that last season my post’s were called ” Hard Targets” not “Targets and Touches,” so that’s coming back as well. I can feel your excitement from my hotel room, where I have two washed up models feeding me grapes and waxing my body for the big shoot tomorrow. When I say “shoot,” I don’t mean money shot, for this is not a porn. Only if I come upon dire straights will that happen. Dear Sky,

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Hoyer Donde Va?

October 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 247 Comments

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I should’ve known it was black magic. Didn’t even need the woman to be involved. A Cleveland Browns passing offense that passes the eye test? Not possible they said. A QB that could withstand the pressure of playing behind a bad offensive line? ‘I’m incredulous’ said those who use the word ‘incredulous’ and actually know what it means. I blame Carlos Santana. Hey, there’s a catcher from the Indians named that so it’s apropos, people. But it happened for a couple of weeks that the Browns and their passing game was saved by their quarterback being – by both the stats test and the eye test – really not that bad. But of course it’s Cleveland and as we know, everything Browns eventually goes to Brown-town. Brian Hoyer left the Thursday Night Football game with a knee that couldn’t have been more shredded than the hillside of a snowboard instructor in Aspen. There’s nothing definitive as of this typing but for all intents and purposes, it didn’t look good at all and I wouldn’t be surprised if his season is over. I take partial blame as I’ve been snake-bitten with injuries this year and actually picked Hoyer up to stream this week in one of my leagues. Mea culpa. Moving forward, the skill position players are gonna have to learn what it means to go from good to bad and how to cope. The parts there are still good, but they lost a little luster for me tonight knowing it’s going to take a trade – unlikely – or a free agent pickup – possible? – to fix this mess. And just when I was about to say Cleveland Rocks…in other 2013 Fantasy Football news…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Weekly Rankings: Rock, Paper, Knowshon

October 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 359 Comments

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Two straight weeks, two straight references to kid’s games and in particular the same one. Of course, my idea of Roshambo is this and apparently it’s spelled differently. Next week, I’ll vary it up and reference this all-time kids classic. Ok, enough links. That’s the lazy man’s way to humor. Or better put, my only way to humor. Prepare for boredom! It was an odd ranking week for me. I don’t feel I’m at odds with too many other ‘perts so I’m doing my best to highlight a few where I chose to get wit dis and they chose to get wit dat. First up, Knowshon Moreno. He’s about as hit and miss as they come and I’ve basically called him a low end RB1 the last two weeks. Was right one, wrong the other. If this is a Fibonacci sequence, he’s gonna finish the year with better stats than AP. Eh, yeah, it’s not a Fibonacci sequence then. In other differences, I’m seeing Gordon putting up a top 10 week at WR. I know, I know, it’s TNF but Cleveland has played too well at home for me not to get behind them at this point. Speaking of the Browns, they’re my #1 defense this week. Again because of how they play at home but moreso, because of TNF. Yes, I just contradicted myself within the span of just three sentences. Though this be madness yet there is…wait, no. There’s just madness. I also think this is the week the Chiefs storied start hits a bump in the road as apparently I really like the Titans at home a lot more than others. Olsen and Cook? Love the matchups and my rankings reflect that love. Oh and I’m sure someone will say ‘WOAH! Kenny Stills?’ out there. It’s a hunch on a deep league weekly play. I ranked Miles Austin and Darren McFadden like the two are playing. If they’re not, I’ll adjust accordingly but they both have good setups for the week which means their backups (T. Williams and R. Jennings) will wiggle up the ranks if they’re declared out. Oh and David Wilson. If this putrid season is gonna get started for him, it happens this week. He’s only my RB18 in standard but I have huge hopes for him given the matchup. And don’t ask why the Eagles defense isn’t ranked. If their first 4 games don’t give you a hint why, I don’t know if me explaining it would help any more. But enough of that. Let’s get this shin-dig shinning. Here’s the weekly ranks for week 5 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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Loudon

Week 5 Players to Play/Avoid: Kerley Fries the Falcons’ D

October 2, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 86 Comments

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As an Eagles fan, it’s been a rough week for me. The silver lining, however, is that the rest of the NFC East is also struggling.

Speaking of struggling, Chris Johnson hasn’t exactly been a lock in the RB position so far this year and it isn’t going to get any easier this week when the Chiefs come to town. The artist formerly known as CJ2K has had a lot of negative things to say about fantasy football recently and since he is no longer receiving the goal-line carries, his ceiling has lowered substantially. The Chiefs are one of the best teams against the run this year so if you have other options this week, use them. Johnson’s schedule gets much easier after the Titans’ week 8 bye so don’t sell him for nothing, but if you can get decent value from someone willing to take a gamble, now might be the time to ship him off.

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Sky

Hey Yo Mister White

October 2, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 359 Comments

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You’ll notice a reoccurring theme on here. I really like the show Breaking Bad. That’s the first part of the theme. The second part of the theme is I don’t have cable so I’m always behind on everything. My wife and I are currently acquainting ourselves on the series as a new season finally came out on Netflix this Summer. We’re going back through seasons one through four – currently close to end of re-watching season two – so of COURSE I’m gonna make a BB reference as my header. How could I not? It’s like, I watch football, write football, comment back to football commenters and then watch an episode of BB. Some would say I’m missing out on life but I say to them a life without those things is missing out by itself. But more to the point, I can’t wait to see season four and I really, REALLY need you to keep the spoilers at a minimum in the comments. Wait, no, at a null…a nullimum? Yeah, don’t tell me shizz, m’kay? Thanks. But more to the really, real point, Mr. White. And to the really, real, specific point, Roddy White. He’s been terrible so far this year. But he’s played through it. Which has also been terrible based on the stats. Roddy’s currently on pace for 40 receptions, 336 yards and zero touchdowns and has not looked good doing it. But here’s the reality: he’s gonna get better. After getting targeted 9 times on Sunday vs the Patriots (more than doubling his previous season high of 4), I’m thinking White’s working his way back into the Roddy of old sooner rather than later. Plus, one of those targets came in the end zone late in the game for what could’ve been the game winner. Unfortunately, despite the big numbers Matty Ice had some pretty big misses on the night and that was one of them. High and away ain’t just a baseball term. As stated, Roddy’s still not quite there yet but after last night’s performance, I’m thinking he’s on the precipice of what people drafted him for. Just in time for you to swoop in and say, yo, gatorade me, B@#$%! to Mr. White owners. I still haven’t found a really good way to use that quote. Doesn’t matter, got it in anyway. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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The Guru

Jam it or Cram it: Rockin’ the Razzball Lounge

October 1, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 104 Comments

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Before we get to jamming and cramming the waiver wonders that could win your week, I want to welcome you all to the Razzball Lounge, my fantasy friends. The lounge is the place where we Razzball scribes come to kick back, relax, trash talk and cry in our boilermakers. Fantasy seasons have been won and lost in this dimly lit dump and now that the stench of stale beer and fantasy baseball has been washed away, it’s time to for us fantasy footballers to take over. Rip down that Mike Trout Fathead and make room for this life size pic of Gronk. Here in the lounge we find Sky cutting up old magazines as he creates a “love letter” to Doug Martin that will land him with a restraining order later in the week, “YoU’Re DeAd To mE, mUScLe hAmStEr!!” At the jukebox we find JayWrong in his Dan Fouts throwback dropping quarters as he plays “Stairway to Heaven” over and over, “Hey guys, you really should pick up Philip Rivers.” *bottle smashes above head* At the bar demanding another Labatt’s is our resident podcast host Nick, “The greatest football team will always be the Toronto Argonauts.” *throws up on shoes* Locked in the ladies room with this sweet honey is the one and only Tehol who is about to make a big discovery, “Whatever happens in the Razzball Lounge stays in the Razzball Lounge, right guys??” And standing here at the pool table is your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, sinks 8-ball off three rails, downs flaming shot, accidentally lights turban on fire* “It’s time to jam it or cram it. What’s that smell?”

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

RCL Football Update: Week 4

October 1, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 22 Comments

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2013 RCL FootballWeek 4 of RCL action is in the books, and it was a big scoring week with the big outputs from the Prime Time games, so a lot of teams have made big strides in climbing up the leader board.  If you still haven’t taken a gander yet, we’ve got the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: Well it was a heart stopper indeed with the Heart Stoppers crushing the RCL ecosystem this week from the Hernandez Hit Men league, putting up 217.02 points in an epic week amongst elite weeks.  A team featuring Brees, Gonzo, Foster, is always going to have a chance to score it big, but it was the surprise big game from Nate Washington and the solid streaming move of the Colts D against the Jags that put the Stoppers over the top(pers).  Despite the huge week, the Stoppers move to 2-2 and only 7th place, with scott’s Team the only undefeated squad left in the Hit Men league.  Everyone put a bounty on scott!  Congrats again Heart Stoppers for becoming an RCL legend!

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