Everyone.

Well, not really, and the real winners (prize winners) will be revealed after the jump, but I just want to send a shout out to everyone involved, including all the Razzball contributors who hosted a league, to all of you Razzball readers who hosted a league, and, of course, to all of you Razzballers who joined and played in our leagues. The Commentator leagues are a unique feature that I personally love to be involved with. I think it brings the community together, and sure, yeah, while you’re trying to destroy each other with Aaron Rodgers and Jeremy Hill, I’d still like to think we’re doing it out of love and togetherness (is that a word?). And in 2014, we had a record-breaking 40 leagues consisting of 480 fantasy owners. I look forward to building on that number next year (while also improving our content covering these leagues), and look forward to bigger and better prizes as well. In the mean time, let us recognize the 2014 Razzball Commentator League Prize Winners…

If you have been paying attention to me, you might be wondering what I am doing over here with the RCL update. Oh you haven’t noticed my absence? Yeah, you and everyone else. My mom even told me what a lovely post I did last week. She lied to me about reading what wasn’t even there. You see, I had no post… thanks a lot mom! At least you’re supportive… Actually, I was very under the weather, and with it being the final week of the year, I felt doing my flex play post was not where I needed to be. You guys have been bringing a lot of good questions this year and I appreciate all the love. Don’t worry, you can still ask me any questions you want…. football or otherwise.

This is it, this is the end. It’s time to separate the men from the boys, or is it the girls from the women? How about the kids from the oversized kids? Children from the adults? Those that like country music and those that like real music? Okay, I also give Johnny Cash and a few others a free pass, but this new country pop music reminds me of the first time I tried to jump my bike and smashed the family jewels on the crossbar. Now take that pain and replay it every five minutes and you have new “country”. Now that I have finished standing on my musical soapbox, I think I should get to what you are here for. The RCL Update and trophy(s) you can win.

And by we, I mean Rudy. There were apparently some issues with Yahoo (surprise!), and I’m sure you, the readers who are competing against each other in this year’s Razzball Commentator Leagues, have suffered greatly not knowing what’s going on in our little universe of fantasy football. I’m not quite sure how Rudy’s dark wizardry works, but from what I can gather, there was a problem reversing polarity on the duadnem colliflex inter-valve dilithium imbalance, causing the gravimetric continuum reciprocating-phase matrix to miss-align. AND THAT’S THE WORST BRO. Why? What a silly question. You know as well as I do that the tetryon matrix can’t take that kind of punishment. Too much alternating variance in the asymmetrical interface nutation, NAW WHAT I’M SAYIN’ DAWG? Word. Regardless, the issues have been resolved, and you can rest easy now, knowing that we have the 2014 RCL Master Standings ready to be presented to you. So follow me after the jump to figure out what’s going on in the RCL universe in the fourth week, for the first time. Or the first week in the fourth time. Time the week for the time on the fourth? Uhh. Right.

Darn straight I’m going to use an exclamation point there. As I alluded to in last week’s RCL update, when I mentioned that a mysterious additional prize shall be announced at a date that remains a mystery, well, my allusions are now over. Illusions too, because I don’t have that type of holographic technology. I believe only Tupac and Star Trek have that power… but don’t worry! Be happy! I totally didn’t just quote a song! But I might have! I’m yelling all of this because we have a new prize to announce! Okay, let’s introduce this thing, seeing as how I have to go search for a throat lozenge. Our friends at Far Out Award have provided you, the Razzball Commentator Player, a wonderful new prize, and that’s an actual Fantasy Football Trophy! Sorry, I’ll stop yelling now. Seriously, this thing is completely what I would imagine a Razzballer having in his or her home. And that’s not to mention the fact that we still have a Bobble Head set up for grabs, along with Razzball t-shirts.

Which brings up another point. Be a RCL commisioner. It’s super easy (I promise), and just a few minutes of work could enter you in for a chance to win a Best Buy gift card. Because any Razzball writer is not eligible, the prize pool is that much smaller, and you could walk away with whatever you kids are buying at Best Buy nowadays. Blu-rays, robots, lasers, drones, who knows. Follow me after the jump for all your RCL details…

ALL THE VAGUENESS. But you’ll just have to trust me. While it’s true that we already have some wonderful prizes (described in detail after the jump), I thought I would take the time out of my day to let you know about one more prize that we are including for this year’s RCL Championship. And that is a mystery prize! OOOO, so exciting. In fact, it’s so mysterious, I’m not technically sure what it’s going to be, but I do know it’s going to be good. (Full disclosure: I actually know what it’s sorta-kinda-maybe going to be, and I think it’s pretty nifty and cool, and since I’m nifty and cool and you’re probably nifty and cool, we might have a similar opinion on such a matter!) The announcement will come out next week, so in the mean time, just trust me and get in on this free action. We are about a quarter way through the drafting phase of the pre-season, with the next three weeks being the “main event”. I actually used air quotes when typing that. The actual typing was done by my forehead and tongue to make my hands free. Impressive, I know. So remember, we are still looking for commissioners and fantasy owners to test their mettle against the entire Razzball family, from the contributors to you, the readers. Everyone is invited! So what are you waiting for? Create or Join a Free Razzball Commentator League today! (Or tomorrow. Or next week. Or, you know, soonish.)

ATTENTION READERS THAT ARE IN THE GURU’S LEAGUES— Unfortunately, The Guru will no longer be contributing to Razzball, and the leagues themselves will be shut down later this week, and will be not be eligible for RCL Prizes. If you are a team owner in one of those leagues, please let the other members know the news, as we do not have access to those leagues. We will be opening up leagues at those same draft times, led by some of your other favorite contributors, and there are also plenty of leagues with open spots you can find in this post. Thanks!

What a ride it’s been folks, and in this case, I’m actually not talking about your mother. Nope. We’re talking about back in July when we announced the formation of the 2014 Razzball Free Fantasy Football Leagues, and how you, the community responded. Now, just 13 days since that historic (HISTORIC I TELL YA) event, we have already passed last years numbers. How cool is that? Very cool if you ask me. And even very cool if I ask me, which I think I just did. So we’re all cool. I have established our coolness. Now that we are getting closer to the season, we’re here to once again and remind you that we want to give you cool stuff just for playing fantasy football with us. I told ya we were cool. That’s right, if you haven’t joined now, you still can! Leagues and Teams are being created everyday, and you can be one of them! Want to find out how? I know you do… follow me after the jump.

So, wouldn’t it be cool if you could take on some of your favorite contributors and all of the Razzball readers and commentators in one huge free fantasy football league? IT WOULD BE COOL YO. That’s why we made this possible. And why it was in all caps. Welcome to the 2014 Fantasy Football RCL. Where all of the Razzballers get to hang out, talk some football, and compete against each other in the game we all love. While we can’t create a 500 person league as of yet, since the technology has yet to be invented, what we can do is create multiple 12-person leagues and pit them all against each other. If you don’t like that, well, you can be the one to wait for the future to come. So enjoy those dragons with lasers. Who wear black leather. Blasting Daft Punk. ENJOY IT. However, if you are not such a timey prude, join us for some fantasy football funnage. Totally a word. So I present to you– the 2014 RCL Fantasy Football Season, with prizes!