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As the title states (SPOILER ALERT), Rudy Gamble (Stat Guru for Razz) joined me in our latest podcast, and it was a great conversation. Sure, I may be a biased source, but let me introduce you to these totally unbiased people sitting right next to me watching as I type this intro. They have given the thumbs up, and if you can’t trust me, trust them. And if you think I’m making this up, I can unapologetically confirm that I’m probably not. And talking about making things up, I got the opportunity to talk about the 2016 election in a way that won’t piss off anyone (maybe!) by going directly to the numbers. We talk about what it takes to create an aggregate system like the one Nate Silver has made famous at FiveThirtyEight.com, and what we can learn from that system when applying it to fantasy sports. True, we do get lost in the weeds a bit, wondering what it is exactly about Trump that allows for such a… unique and fervored following, but before we get into real trouble of entering an echo chamber, we switch directly into examining Rudy’s tools, and some ways that we can take advantage of projection systems in fantasy football, and furthermore, have a great back and forth on how to go about targeting players who might break out. I wish we didn’t run out of time, but we’ll have Rudy back on soon, so until then, enjoy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 30: Running back Devontae Booker #23 of the Denver Broncos rushes for a touchdown in the third quarter of the game against the San Diego Chargers at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on October 30, 2016 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)

Greetings! Over these past few weeks I’ve often wondered: “Have they missed me since I’ve been gone?” Will my strongest supporters simply move on and attach themselves to any of the other talented Razzball writers, or will they mourn me by drinking and drugging themselves for the remainder of their miserable lives, slowly killing themselves in the memory of the Lord? What I can tell you is that I’ve spent the past couple weeks in the crater of Mt. Vesuvius, smoking mass quantities of peyote and drinking absinthe by the boatload, conversing with the Elder Gods about my future and what has been foreseen. The good news, you ask? My dream of my writing career surpassing my great many thong modeling accomplishments looks like a given, but the bad news, my goodmen, oh hohoho, you mustn’t never find out for only the scurviest of bottom feeders could possibly have the wherewithal to comprehend what I must do. They’ve rarely been wrong in their predictions for my life in the past. I mean, they did predict I would finish second overall in the FantasyPros rankings a few weeks back AND they informed me that some crazy hood rat would come out the woodwork, saying I owe her 500 dollars for blowing out the back of the gal watching her home while she was out of town. This gutter ferret had the gaul to threaten me on Facebook. ME! The Lord! My judgement shall be swift and merciless, and her destiny of bobbing for worm-infested apples, surrounded by diseased swine in the dank dungeon of House Beddict. Just because I put a dime piece in the perfect flex on her cheap ass bed certainly doesn’t mean that I broke and it certainly does not mean the Lord will throw some gold coins at her to shut her hole. Peasantry.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

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While everyone is clamoring over Westworld (and for good reason…including our weekly Football Podcast!), a show with a little less fanfare, but just as intriguing of a plot, made its debut last year: The Man in the High Castle. Amazon’s alternate universe time piece won’t get the hype of Westworld, but the premise, the acting and the twists are just as dynamic. Before Season 2 debuts in December, it’s worth the binge.

Binging before December should happen every year. And no, not just through the gluttony of Thanksgiving. The weeks leading up to December are the final week of the fantasy football regular season, and now that we’re officially into November that means we’ve hit the home stretch of making your squad better. Can you recover from 2-6 to make the playoffs? Yep. In 2013 I began 2-6 and then rode Jamaal Charles greatest season to five straight wins for the 7th seed, then three more through the playoffs for the belt. I don’t see Jamaal doing that this year, as he’s visiting the three worst words in sports this week: Dr. James Andrews. But in his stead, There’s a New Chief in Westworld (the other title for this article I almost went with) that you can binge before the playoffs. Or…like last year you can ride a player into December that coincides with a certain Amazon show. From now until early December, it’s more than worth your time to stream The Man in the HighCastletower.

Here are the top targets to, well… target for Week 9!

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FAAB can be tricky. There’s a lot more nuance with FAAB waivers than waiver priority based waiver claims. This time of year it’s much more difficult for me to put price recommendations on these players because it really depends on your situation. There are some running backs this week that will be useful for another 1-2 weeks. Then there are some players that might not be useful until another 2-3 weeks. There are better acquisitions than Alfred Morris this week, but I think he is still under the radar, that’s why I highlighted him in the title and picture.

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Some real good mature Cubs derp right there…

It only makes sense because Ursa Minor is in the World Series, you know, which is still going on. Because Bears-Cubs? Look guys, it’s Halloween and I’m tired and I’m staring at an unopened bag of Twix bars. This was never going to end well. And the same could be said for the Vikings, falling for the dreaded trap game, in prime time no less. A place that the Bears have been located for reasons unknown. And they currently have been in more prime time games than the Chiefs, Raiders, and Falcons, where you’d think the Bears would do what they do best, and that’s suffer in anonymity like the Titans do. So while it was a surprising win, I do understand why they put this game on for Halloween: It was still some horrifying football to watch. I told you, I have a plethora of Twix, the Cubs are in the World Series, Donald Trump is running for President, and the Bears are won a home game at night. We are definitely through the looking glass, and we need to get this over with as soon as possible…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One is an underrated story that fell apart under it’s own depressive weight and the other is the movie 28 Grams. For those who are wondering why Mark Ingram (3 CAR, 5 YDS, 1.7 AVG, 2 LONG, 1 FUM) did his best impersonation of Toby Gerhart, behold:

New Orleans Saints running back Mark Ingram lost a fumble for the second straight week during Sunday’s win over the Seattle Seahawks. …After that, all of the Saints’ handoffs went to Tim Hightower and rookie Daniel Lasco. Ingram was not available for comment in the locker room after the game. “He wasn’t carrying it loose,” Payton said of the fumble against the Seahawks. “They were able to just pull it free. We’ll be back to work with him.” Payton said not fumbling had been a point of emphasis for Ingram after the previous game, which explains the quick decision to go to Hightower.Source.

I just want to add that Tim Hightower fumbled in the same game AND Ingram has five career fumbles. Five. You know, it would really screw up my week if I have to drive all the way out to New Orleans to punch Sean Payton in the d*ck. Anyhow, we’re here to get ready for Halloween by eating a copious amount of Twix bars to talk about Sunday’s games and Fantasy Football, so let’s get started!

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Well how about that. Some interesting matchups this Sunday, and it only took to the half point of the season to get there. And you know, sometimes I wonder if I’m a bit hard on the NFL, I actually don’t think I’ve spoken positively about the “presentation” part of the sport for quite some time. But then when you actually think about it, I’m pretty sure I should be even more negative. You have deflateghazi, the whole Josh Brown thing, the continuing and baffling crackdown on anything that may look like an emotion on the field, like trying to shoot a bow with an imaginary arrow or taking a picture with an imaginary camera… All of this, of course, has nothing to do with fantasy football, that is unless you prefer watching math develop on ESPN.com instead of watching, you know, the games… so color me a bit mystified as to why the NFL is trying so hard to gaslight us every weekend. On a lighter note, we do get what will probably be the best Sunday Night Football game of the year. Best game if you measure in derps. The NFC East is always the gift that keeps giving, and the greatest gift ever is when it’s the and Eagles and Cowboys. I think the only possibly way to make this even better is to throw the Giants in there for good measure. Have them play from sideline-to-sideline, because why not? Though, even playing the width of the field at 53 yards, McAdoo would still probably have trouble getting to the redzone…

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 8 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

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Hey guys! I’m glad to be back after a week off in which I took the ACT, but now I cannot wait to jump into Week 8 of the NFL season. Big thanks to the main man MB for taking over this column last week, he absolutely nailed it with some of the selections, most notably Jameis Winston and his dominating performance against the 49ers. But I’m still better-looking.

Anyway, I had to miss last week due to my taking of the ACT test, which reminded me of Fantasy Football. We prepare as long and as hard as we can, even maybe spending money to prep for the test, yet we still do not know what will be on it: so we need to not only be prepared for it, and we need some luck on our side. It helps if we also can pull off at least one lopsided. But I don’t know how that last statement refers to the ACT, but at least we got it out of the way.

This week kinda marks the halfway point of the year. Leave a comment down below of what your record is, and if I and this column, or even Razzball in general has contributed to your success. Or declines. Accentuate the positive.

Of first matchup of Week 8 comes between two styles of football in the AFC. One marked by a solid defensive unit, and on offense, marked by a traditional conservatism offensive attack, and in turned, marked by strength at the HB position. Then we have the Colts…

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Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of Deep Impact! With a busy week of sports underway (World Series, NBA season opener, Joel Embiid gracing the Sixers court for real), it’s almost easy to forget that hey, they’re going to play NFL games this week! It’s even easier to forget that professional football is happening this week when writing this while watching the Jaguars. As usual for our series, we’ll take a look at players less than 10% owned for those of you who play in deep formats to think about Week 8 options. Also as usual for our series, I will arbitrarily break that threshold because dammit, sometimes there just isn’t a name under it that I would consider starting at a position. Don’t judge me!

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Greetings, fantasy friends… It’s your reliable internet buddy Mike Honcho and I’m here to hook you up with the best passing and rushing match ups for Week 8. I’m typing this as I listen to the new Bon Iver album 22, A Million. Hopefully some of you are familiar with the Indie Folk band from Fall Creek, Wisconsin. If not, definitely check them out. Front man Justin Vernon is a musical genius, he crosses over into many different genres of music and rarely disappoints. But let me be perfectly clear here: I might be getting too old to enjoy hat others label as “Hip.” I mean, I really like that they’re branching out again on the new release, but it contains way too much “folktronica” for my liking. Unfortunately, that’s what the young kids like so it looks like it’s here to stay for a while. Give me “For Emma, Forever Ago” or the self titled “Bon Iver” any day of the week over their current release. Just my opinion. Sue me! So while we’re talking about things that are old, let’s discuss Jamaal Charles. It seems Father Time has paid the former workhorse an untimely visit for 2016 and his fantasy owners are none too pleased about it. You know how Jamaal feels, right guys? Any given Saturday you and your “bros” head to the mall with your Affliction shirts and you try to “mack on babes” outside of the Fashion Bug. Only to remember you’re 34 years-old and the Assistant Manager of a GNC. Life is brutal at times. Anyway, A new, young feature back has emerged. Spencer Ware has absolutely beasted in his opportunity as the lead back and he’s poised for another huge week. Kansas City will travel to Indianapolis Sunday in what should be a run heavy game script. The Colts are 25th in the league in rushing defense – allowing 118.6 yards per game on the ground. They allowed  28/124/1 and 28/158/1 the last two games to Tennessee and Houston respectively. To make matters worse, Indy has allowed 24.8 fantasy points per game to opposing RBs this year, which ranks 26th overall. That’s a lot of “suck” to process in terms of the Colts’ defense, so let’s take a break and look at my favorite plays this week:

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At least, that’s what it looked like on my television. Alright, time to watch some football, let’s check out and see who’s playing… DEAR SWEET LORD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE. In between screaming “MY EYES!” and wondering if we’d finally get to watch the ever elusive halftime head coach firing (though, Gus Bradley continues to be an excellent high school football coach), there was an NFL game somewhere in there… I think? Listen, I very well may touch myself, but nothing I’ve ever done in my life makes me think I deserved that game. And granted, it’s Friday, always a plus, but forgive me if this lede spends more time complaining than analyzing. I mean, if the NFL isn’t going to bother with showing professional teams in prime time, I’m not going to bother giving much analytical thought. Well, except for one: Bortles is probably going to be a top-5 quarterback in fantasy this week. Let THAT sink in for a second…

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With Halloween just around the corner, I had a couple thoughts run through my brain: I’m about to be dedicating quite a few hours to Pokémon GO with everything giving double candy for the next few days, and I wonder what most people think the scariest part of fantasy football is. Without a doubt it’s got to be injuries, as there truly is nothing like having to pick up the pieces when your top running back goes down for the year. Eddie Lacy owners have a slightly more cringe worthy injury on their hands since his ankle most likely just snapped under the pressure of all that weight. Is it too late for Tony Horton to make Lacy put down all the Halloween candy? Unfortunately it is, and with quite a few backs out with injuries and bye weeks, this seems to be a particularly brutal week. Luckily, there are quite a few running backs worth a look that can be had on waivers. Devontae Booker leads the charge in what I like to call “The Week of the Handcuff”… it’s only fitting his team colors include Halloween orange.

Please, blog, may I have some more?