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Ah yes, so we meet again… wait, did we actually formally meet? I mean, technically we’re meeting again, we’ve done this before… but did we really meet? Of course I’m an existential crisis waiting to happen, but that’s only because clinical depression requires so much work. I mean, I’d rather jog than emo, ya know? But back to where we started, this is your (and “our” I suppose) official 2017 Razzball Picks. Or selections. Or whatever nomenclature you prefer. I guess whatever it takes for me not to force you to read word “nomenclature” over and over again. We do this because, frankly, we just can’t write about everyone and everything that we love or hate. I mean, we’re talking about 1,696 players here. And so this is the quick and easy “viewer-friendly” version that allows you to quickly see our likes/dislikes/predictions for all of you to promptly point and giggle at…

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Welcome to Week 1 sports fans. All that time spent taking in the awesome draft content here at Razzball and mock drafting from your work computer has led you to the real thing.. And you thought you’d been neglecting your family this past month or so? Child’s play compared to 17 weeks dominated by football. Hope you signed that prenup.

In this space this year, we will be looking at streaming options for your leagues. Generally I will use 65% as a cutoff line, and I will be looking at Yahoo ranks. Typically the best spots to stream are QB and DST and Tight Ends. If there is a demand for kickers or any other positions, I will add them in the coming weeks. Be sure to hit me up in that comment section for anything you’d like to see in this space, or just to talk smack. Now with it being Week 1, it should just be simple and play your studs. But with Irma bearing down on Florida, we now have two teams with byes Week 1 (which I something I never thought I would say). Everyone is in scramble mode. Who should you grab? Let’s get into some plays…

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another day closer to kickoff! Tonight, the Chiefs and Patriots will play, and all will be right in the world. Except for multiple hurricanes, tropical storms and wildfires throughout the country. Let’s get to football!

If you are new here to Razzball and this post, don’t hesitate to quickly brush up on my preview article, where I go over what this article will entail, as well as talking about the fantastic tools we offer here at Razzball! So let’s get into some Razzball-certified picks today at every position, helping you conquer your Week 1 matchups, with some DFS analysis along the way.

Let’s get to it!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

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2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With Matt, Zach, and Tehol providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112

As I alluded to in today’s previous Weekly Rankings release (SPOILER ALERT!), football is finally here! And with it comes an assortment of treats. And by treats, I specifically mean alcohol for me. And rankings for you. I’m proud to announce the return of IDP Rankings to Razzball, last seen a few seasons ago, we’ve returned to some of our niche roots. Not only did we add some light (or as the millennials call it: lite) IDP to our Razzball Commenter Leagues this year, but I myself believe that IDP is on the cusp of hitting the mainstream. I also think Armageddon is in the top-10 movies ever made, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. Or like a huge rock of salt. Regardless, I’m happy to bring IDP back, seeing as how J.Timba was already in charge of bringing that sexy back. HOW CAN THIS MAN HOARDE ALL THE SEXINESS? Oh, that’s why. Let’s get to your Week 1 IDP Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112

That’s right my friends, we made it. Another football season is about to begin, and to make sure the beginning is as miserable as possible for nearly 95% of the nation, tonight’s opening game features the same team that ended last season: The Patriots. Oh, and the Chiefs are there too, but I can’t take anyone seriously if it involves Alex Smith. But it matters not! For now, we have real football spanning over the next five months (or around a month-and-a-half if you live in Los Angeles), and this real football will, in turn, produce that which will fill our Fantasy Football holes. That makes it sound so crude and coarse, much like my love making. Regardless, with the new season budding with excitement and hope for all fans across the United States (unless you live in Los Angeles), it is now time to release the first iteration of our Weekly Rankings, because if there’s anything I’ve learned during my time here, it’s the world needs rankings. Nay… the world demands them. Honestly, what else is the point of having a Fantasy Football site if not to start knife fights over subjective numerical values? So get your best Ray Lewis going and make the jump for our Week 1 Rankings!

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Welcome back to a football episode of the Razzblitz Podcast. My co-host Zach returns for a week one preview before his journey to Atlanta in an effort to escape Hurricane Irma.  Speaking of hurricanes, it’s been a rough hurricane season for our country, so be sure to give something back if you can afford it.  The best part of giving back during trying times is finding the charity that suits your cause.  Whether it be food and shelter, rebuilding efforts, or helping out the poor animals that are helpless in these situations.  When I find a cause that I believe in, I will be sure to post it on twitter, otherwise you can just give to J.J. Watt’s impressive fund!  For Harvey, I gave to Shea Serrano’s venmo effort that he opened up for a few days and he was able to raise $134,000 to give to seven different charities that he believed in and it was money well spent.

Anyways, we also discuss the Bucs-Dolphins cancellation, my fall out with Miko Grimes, and then we talk about players and match ups that we like from the Week 1 action.

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s Fantasy Football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

Also, check out our other sponsor, Fantasy Draft, who’s holding a special “Carolina Millions Landing Page“, $1 Million Guaranteed, $200,000 Top Prize.

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Can you guys feel it? Football is back baby! It feels forever ago that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead, and now, for the first time in 7 months, we now can get back to meaningful football! I can’t wait! I can’t wait to fall asleep on my couch to the soothing voice of Scott Hansen, waking up and getting frustrated that my players are doing absolutely nothing, only to realize that it’s only the 2nd quarter and then falling back asleep to avoid watching Houston vs. Jacksonville.

It’s going to be a fun and hopefully very long season, so let’s jump right into it with my Week 1 rankings!

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s Fantasy Football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

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We have Football! Well, at least most of us do. Shout out to the whole state of Florida we hope that your weekend comes with minimal repercussions from Hurricane Irma. If worst comes to worst, we are here to help! Special shout out to Zach, and hoping that even though he will be evacuated, the Hurricane destroys none of his belongings besides his awful laptop.

Here are my Week 1 rankings. Enjoy them and I wish you success without your Tampa or Miami starters…

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s Fantasy Football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

Also, check out our other sponsor, Fantasy Draft, for all of your DFS needs. Contests on-going!

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Greetings! Rankings or spankings, what be your preference, my goodmen? Why not both, I say. Aye, why not both of these joyous splendors of life? If that does happen to be the case, I reckon you just popped your second 30 milligram time-released Adderall of the day in a hopeless attempt at actually putting forth effort into a job you actually care extremely little about. Yes, you have children, but do you know 100 percent that they are of your seed? I mean, we all recall your cocaine and dry-humping days from college, and both have been known to cause permanent damage. Beddict would know as well as anyone. I suppose if you’re a woman, and you’re reading this, you are well aware of the father of your children… or do you look at little Tommy and then recall that girls trip you took to Antigua where you got blacked and rode a sexy, guitar playing Irishman who reminded you of the dude from ‘P.S. I Love You’? Aye, the man was hung like a prized moose, he was, and honestly, the kid’s probably the better for it. You’ve got to be realistic about these things. Either way, some of my rankings below may shock you a bit, but trust in the Elders and give me your faith, and I swear by all that is pure in what is left of this once great planet, that I will take you by the hand, and guide you to glory. Tis my fate, after all. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, say he’s a birther of great and powerful knowledge.

Below are my rankings for Week 1. I pray that you enjoy them and take them to hear. Thankee-sai. Take Heed!

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s Fantasy Football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

Also, check out our other sponsor, Fantasy Draft, for all of your DFS needs. Contests on-going!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I can’t figure it out.  I have spent years defending myself, and staving off attacks from everywhere and everyone, but I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why people like the Beatles.  I know I am in the minority, and am always willing to admit that I am the oddball, but people are always more than happy to tell me that “I am wrong”, and “you don’t know what you are talking about”, and “they’re not really your children.”

Does this ever happen to you?  Going against popular convention can be tricky, but sometimes you have to go with your gut.  And my gut has said one thing very loud and clearly to me for this upcoming fantasy season… avoid LeSean McCoy.

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What?! How did I get here? Where are the OF’s, SP’s and 3B’s?! Where are the thoracic outlet surgeries and 10 day DL stints? How are these guys playing through their blisters?!

Well with baseball season winding down, I’ll be moving from my weekly baseball injury article to taking over the weekly fantasy football waiver wire article. I’ll highlight players under-owned in most leagues who could provide you a boost when your starters are injured, facing a tough defense or are playing in a blizzard.

You obviously won’t see anyone over 50% owned in ESPN leagues. Heck, you might not even see guys owned in 40% of leagues. If I’m feeling REALLY saucy you won’t find anyone owned in over 25% of leagues! SCREW IT! I’M ONLY GOING TO LIST GUYS OWNED IN 0% OF LEAGUES! NO WAIT! ONLY CFL PLAYERS!

Anyway, if you’re still looking for a RCL to join may I recommend: Kerry’s RCL League! We’re drafting Wednesday night, September 6th @ 10 PM. Unless someone falls down the stairs while carrying deer meat at 3 AM on Thursday morning — you won’t have to draft anyone who gets injured before their first game even starts! 

It is hard to make waiver recommendations when we’re all just excited to play our big name starters we spent high draft picks on, but here are some guys whose ownership is going to be going up in the first few weeks that you can jump on ahead of your league mates:

Please, blog, may I have some more?