Ezekiel Elliott owners are still shaking off their own CTE issues from this week’s shocking yet not so shocking (which makes this mildly shocking I guess?) news that the Fifth Circuit Court upheld Elliott’s six-game suspension. I hadn’t heard screams that loud and high-pitched since David Johnson was put on the IR. While Matt did a fantastic job covering the breaking Zeke news this week, I wanted to make sure and shed some light on who it actually is that’s playing with all of our collective livers…

The Fifth Circuit isn’t just a very conservative court — 10 of its 15 active judges are Republican appointees — it also includes some of the most unapologetic and ideological conservative judges in the country. Five Fifth Circuit judges joined an opinion saying that a man could be executed even though his lawyer slept through much of his trial. The court once sanctioned a high school cheerleader after she sued the school that told her to cheer for her alleged rapist. Its former chief judge was recently under investigation for allegedly claiming that African Americans and Hispanics are predisposed to violent crime. [Source.]

So yeah, this doesn’t really count as political content, simply because after reading that paragraph, I don’t really care that they’re conservatives in this context, only that they’re spiteful idiots. It’s like probably not even in the top-1000 decisions that this circuit has made out of Jerkdom. Which is either a kingdom full of jerks or beef jerky. IT CAN’T BE BOTH PEOPLE. Regardless, the NFLPA will ask for a full panel rehearing of the case through the court’s appeals process, which means Zeke plays for now. Next week?

Hold on, I think I hear some more screaming…

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 6 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

As we enter the second quarter of the season (so meta!), many questions have been answered. The Browns? Yeah, still the Browns. I actually think we’re in era of “peak” Browns, but I’m not even sure that factory of sadness has an off button. In fact, production of sadness seems to be steadily increasing, so there’s that I suppose? The Jets? Well, the Giants are doing worse, so there’s that I guess. We now know what the Colts are capable of when their one good player gets injured. Four times (can the aforementioned Giants add a fifth?) there has been the proper amount of schadenfreude served to Dean Spanos. I’d say the Bears are who we thought they were. (RIP Dennis Green. My hero.) And the Seahawks are celebrating their centennial anniversary of having a sh*tty offensive line. Plenty of answers so far, but it’s still somewhat early in the season and some questions still remain. Will Todd Gurley father my children? How are the Panthers in first with a 3-1 record when Cam Newton still doesn’t have a working shoulder? Are the Cowboys the best mediocre team in the NFL? Can the AFC North just explode instead of sending teams to the playoffs? And my god, how are the Eagles 3-1? I can’t promise that these poignant questions will be answered today, or even a week from now, or even another month… well, actually, the Todd Gurley fathering my children one, it just depends how much affinity his legal team has for restraining orders. You’ll know when I know folks!

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 5 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Another week, another London game… it’s almost as if the NFL is interested in the market and has slowly, yet assuredly gone with the turtle strategy in building European hype the only way they know how: sending the Jaguars ad nauseum. But not this week! No, instead they will get the Saints and the Dolphins, which is actually the start of a great parable. (I think? I’m as atheist as they come, and we don’t have bibles. I mean, we do, it’s just a piece of paper with these sage words written via sharpie: You’re f*cked son.) Speaking of which, rumor has it that Dean Spanos has been really regretting moving my Chargers to Los Angeles, to which I say: k. So, separating my weekly AND obligatory Chargers rant (my therapist says it’s a good idea), we are in Week 4, and with that comes the color of pink, playoffs talk, and Cleveland forgetting they have a football team. But fear not Cleveland, you have the Jets as company! Can the Falcons move to 4-0? Can the Bengals actually win a game this year, or are they feeling like the entire season is Wild Card weekend? Will people actually want to watch the Colts and Seahawks in prime time? And finally, how many shots of Pike’s Place will we endure? The answers to these questions and more after the jump! (Actually, I can’t technically answer most of those questions, Week 4 of football will do that, but, uh, we do have answers to some things! I think?)

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 4 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our Staff Consensus, player updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the comment section!