“EasyE doesn’t lose contests. He wins them. Or quits them because they are unfair” – Me right now, probably. And I’m sure many of you are in this same boat. Hopefully it’s more of the former and less of the latter (though the hypothetical situations and whining over small details that would have made someone victorious is what fantasy is all about). Win and you’re in? Playing spoiler? The NFL playoff hunt is getting real just as our fantasy one culminates. So much excitement this time of year and it’s another beautiful day to talk pigskin. Let’s clinch some playoff spots shall we? And how are we going to go about doing that?? .. We’re going streaming!! As always, I look at Yahoo ownership percentages after the waivers run on Thursday morning and focus on guys owned in less than 65% of leagues. I know you’re ready Snoop-a-loop. And you’ve already got the green hat. Marvelous.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I swear, one of these weeks I’ll figure it out what NFL week we are in. Daylight savings time should help with that. Or something. An hour one way or the other is a drop in the ocean. We need a full extra day so we can figure out the ever evolving beast that is fantasy football. But until we develop those capabilities, let’s just do what we do every week at this time. Let’s go streaming! As always, I take a look at players owned in 65% of Yahoo leagues or less. Bring it on Snoop-a-loop.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve been reading my stuff, you know that I tend towards the strange. This space before we talk shop is usually filled with a random thought or reference to whatever I’m binging (can you guess I’m now balls deep in Stranger Things, Season 2?) At the risk of giving any spoilers and especially going into this week with six teams on bye with teams working in new additions after the trade deadline, lets just do the damn thing and then we can get weird in the comments section. Let’s go streaming! As always, I look at guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after the waivers run on Thursday morning. Bring that green hat Snoop-a-loop. You’re going to need it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s one of my favorite times of the year. We find ourselves at the convergence of yoga pants season and “classy” costume party season. What a time to be alive. There’s also the struggle in finding time to check out all the new video game releases while relentlessly grinding MUT solos on Madden. Heck, this article may contain traces of pumpkin spice for all you know. But teams are loading up for fantasy playoff runs, fire sales have begun in dynasty leagues, and every matchup has the weight of heightened stakes. Now these times can be frustrating and have you fluctuating up and down faster than a Midwest thermostat (regional humor always kills, right?) but we’re not going to leave you hanging. Because we’re going streaming! As always, I look at guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after waivers run on Thursday mornings. Grab your green hat Snoop-a-loop!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son. It is a beautiful thing to see part of you walking around outside your own body. Personally, I don’t get why there are so many Facebook things about “oh I wish my kid would stay young forever!” The joy is in watching them grow and gain new skills. But holy f*ck, stop getting me sick little dude. I wish I had the brain power to type something witty and funny here for an intro, but my sinuses are honestly impeding my frontal cortex. So bear with my Phineaus Gage semi-strep lobotomized article this week. We’re still going streaking! As always I focus on players that are owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues following waivers on Thursday mornings. I know you got that green hat Snoop-a-loop.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There comes a point during the baseball season where the NFL ramps up and my ADD can’t handle the two tracks. Inevitably, as my fantasy baseball teams fade away, I get so pumped in all the early drafts for fantasy football. The draft and holds, regular draft prep, training camp buzz… And here we sit in NFL Week 6, and I’m back in the baseball pool. Cubs possibly getting screwed over by a rain postponement, the Yankees taking down Kluber in Game 5. What the hell is going on?!?!? With a great first round of MLB playoffs and the clusterf*ck that has become my fantasy teams with all the injuries, it’s hard to resist the baseball pull. But just remember that it’s not just you suffering through the injuries and ineffectiveness. You may have that one dude in your league who’s dodged all the bullets, drafted all the late round guys that ended up hitting.. But this game is a fickle bitch that comes for our pride and dignity just when we think we’ve got it beat. Stick with us, and we’ll help you pull it out. All of the phrasing intended with that right there. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of leagues after waivers run on Thursday mornings in Yahoo leagues. Bring your green hat Snoop-aloop!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fantasy football will always be the best distraction in my life and I love that I get to share it with you guys. I love answering your questions in the comments, I love chatting about the game. I’m like your own personal fantasy football Mr. Meseeks. But sometimes we need to focus on real life and share on that front too… So back when Mulan originally came out in 1998, McDonalds released a special Szechuan sauce to coincide with the movie. And then it was brutally and forcefully ripped from our hands by big corporations that don’t care about the little people. Fast forward 20 years, where cartoons and a lot of nagging on Twitter can change things (OK, let’s be real, nothing every gets resolved on Twitter). The cult of Rick and Morty fans, rabid after a season 3 premiere where Rick refers to the magical Mulan McNugget sauce as his “one-armed man”, intersect with the announcement of a live action Mulan movie and the snowball gets rolling. To the point where McDonald’s gives away a few large containers of the special sauce to the creators and a few lucky fans, one jug of which apparently got up to $4,000 in bidding on eBay, and we now get a special day on October 7th where certain McDonald’s location will have a limited supply of sauce. I bring this up for two reasons. One – someone help a brother stranded in Iowa cornfields out and send me some of this stuff. Two – in spite of the bigger societal issues, if we band together and focus on distractive efforts (like fantasy football or the commenter community here at Razzball), we can do anything. Hopefully with extra sauce. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after waivers process on Thursday. The bye weeks are here and the dives get a little deeper, but you’re in the trust tree Frank. I got ya. Bring that green hat Snoop-a-loop!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seriously, who covered Week 3 in the d*cks? Maybe it’s the massive binge of American Vandal I’ve been on and that’s the best parallel I can draw. Maybe it’s the fact that this week was a big red donger on the face of the NFL. Or my picks. BUT I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE! Like Peter Maldanado, lets quick spank it to an American Apparel catalog, and then get to the bottom of this clusterf*ck. But seriously, without dick references, let’s put this week in a box and bury it. And then right after I typed that, I started singing Dick In A Box in my head. Quick tangential thought: Bring on Timberlake during the halftime show. I’d rather jam out to him than Lady GaGa a million times over. But I digress. Let’s go streaming! As always, I shoot for guys that are owned in less than 65% of leagues after waivers process Wednesday nights. Bring your green hat Snoop-a-loop!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I come to you from two weeks in the future. Like a really short-term Terminator. A… Sherminator?

I joke, I kidd. But seriously. I’m a sophisticated sex robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky… fantasy… player…

Let’s get real. Your fantasy drafts are starting. You can almost feel the tick-of-the-pick clock in some scenarios. Everyone is cramming in as much information as they can. Top 200’s, position ranks, team previews, hot takes galore. And so, like all that cramming you did in college, you have to choose some things to skip over and hope they don’t matter. Like foreplay or lubrication. Oh, you thought we were talking about a different type of cramming?

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