I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest (I picked my favorite Sunday game this week since Thursday was cancelled):
Cincinnati Bengals (+8) at Indianapolis Colts
Forecast: The ghost of A.J. Green heads to Indy this weekend to train with Philly Rivers. You see, Rivers has developed an elite shot put academy where he’s training his 19 children to become shot put champions. Green, in search of a new profession, has signed on as their newest recruit. Around lunchtime on Sunday Coach Rivers will take a break to play some football. In a battle of hyped rookies, Joe Burrow will be sacked 16 times in the blow out loss while Jonathan Taylor tames the timid Bengals defense with 220 rushing yards and 3 touchdowns. Colts 42, Bengals 17
Wager: Colts -8 (4 Units)
2020 Season: 0-5 (-4.95 Units)
Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 6 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:
Please, blog, may I have some more?