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Hey everyone! I hope you accomplished nothing at work this week because you were rehashing your epic Week 1 fantasy victories! Don’t forget, everyone cares, so keep on telling your cube-mates about your MNF comeback (Yahoo gives away medals for that)! That said, let’s maximize your time to reach your weekly deadlines and get down to business. As a reminder, ownership percentages are taken from Yahoo:

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It’s Sunday, and the clock is about to strike 1:00 pm.  Anticipation is building, and you finally cave, as you remove Stevan Ridley from your FLEX and replace him with Joique Bell.  After all, Ridley has been in the doghouse with Coach Belichick and Bell has a great matchup vs. the Eagles.  We’ve all be there before — at the last minute you completely reverse course from the original starting lineup you had all week long.  Sometimes it pans out, but sometimes you’re left kicking yourself — like when Bell cedes carries to a red-hot Reggie Bush and Ridley sneaks in for a couple of one-yard touchdown dives.

This column is here to help you make those decisions easier.  Each Saturday throughout the NFL season, I will be providing you with a list of some players you should start, as well as some that should take a seat at the end of your bench.  I won’t be telling you to start LeSean McCoy, ‘cuz if you’d ever consider sitting him, well, you’ve got way more things to worry about than fantasy football (like getting your head checked).  Instead, I’ll focus more on the fringe players or the sneaky second- or third-tier guys who aren’t automatic starts or sits each week.

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Welcome to the Handcuff Report, 2014 primer. The Almighty J-FOH has bestowed upon me the honor of keeping you knuckleheads up to date on the latest NFL arrests, felonies, and misdemeanors. If Steven Ridley and Shane Vereen are smoking weed in a Pontiac Firebird, we’ll be there. If  Titus Young finds his way back into the league, we’ll be there. If Golden Tate decides to steal maple bars from a Detroit bakery, we’ll be there. You get the point…. Wait.?!?! That’s not what this post covers?…. It’s about running back committee’s? …Hmmm I don’t think that’s right. Jay, I think we have a problem…..I had 1,300 words about Ray Rice, Josh Gordon, Le’veon Bell, and LeGarrette Blount. It seemed reasonable, there are a lot of arrests, and they do in fact impact our rosters. But okay… I got it now, you meant handcuff in a less literal sense. Oops! Welp, time to refocus. I guess instead I’ll be discussing the ever evolving Running Back committee situations around the league. For today and at least the first few weeks of the season, I’ll be providing a list of depth charts and commenting on the situations I feel need to be covered. In other words I’ll be spending less time on teams like the Vikings, Bears, or Seahawks and more time on teams like the Lions, Falcons, and Dolphins. As the season progresses, I’ll probably switch to more of a “handcuffs to watch format”, where I’ll cover a handful of backs with expanding roles. But who knows, we’ll see, you guys can tell me in the comments if you like the depth chart rankings. I’m cool with that. After today I will be sticking with the tried and true tiered approach (say that three times fast Micro Machine Man) and the tier names that J-FOH had last year, because what else is there outside of Fuzzy, Standard Issue Police, and Duct taped handcuffs? That pretty much covers the handcuff gamut. No??? Are there other varieties besides the ones covered?  Like those weird plastic ones, that cops use, maybe? Did you notice I said “cops use”… do you know why? Because Standard Issue Police That’s Why!!!

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Hello readers! I’m new in town, but I come bearing gifts! This is the first of many weekly streamer installments that I will be posting on Razzball. Each week, I will be burrowing into the depths of the waiver wire to pull out the most valuable streamer options for the week to come. I will target players less than 50% owned on Yahoo, in the hopes of providing you with an upside player widely available in your leagues, and I will focus on the QB, TE, DST, and K positions. I also intend to give you two options at each position, if possible, but I won’t force it! If things work out, and our relationship gets a little more serious, I’d say some of these waiver grabs could also translate to high upside tournament plays in daily fantasy football games. I said upside, not backside… things aren’t getting that serious! Additionally, following the Razzball tradition of transparency, I will analyze my picks after each week against their positional ranks to ensure full disclosure to the readers. Without further ado, let’s take a look at who has stream potential in Week One…

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What’s a battle flex? Why a battle flex? Obviously, this battle is when we get two guys going head-to-head in a battle to decide which one to play. Like DJ’s in a club, or MC’s on a stage, we are going head-to-head in our flex this year. Should I play this guy or that guy? Or what about this running back or that wide receiver?  This series, though, is going to be a reflection of you readers who also have some kind of battle flex going on in your roster, a sounding board if you will. Whenever I get a question, it is usually trying to decide between player A or player B. So in the spirit of indecision and frustrating insecurity, I bring you the Battle Flex. Each week I’ll do my best to highlight a few battles to represent different sized leagues. I’m also relying on you guys and girls to help me shape this and make this about what you want to see. Got it? Good! Let’s move on…

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