Insurance has been at the forefront of my mind lately. Maybe it’s all the Baker Mayfield Progressive commercials brainwashing me. But most of the time when Baker comes on screen with his book club, I’m just wondering how it’s possible that a large insurance company couldn’t find a better spokesperson than Mayfield. So then maybe it’s all the Patrick Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers State Farm commercials brainwashing me. But most of the time when Patrick and Aaron come on I’m just giggling about the gallon of ketchup Mahomes is pouring on his steak. So, that can’t be it. Ah ha! I just figured it out. It’s those Geico Motaur commercials—a half man, half motorcycle talking nonsense is what speaks to my subconscious mind. If they hired an NFL up and comer to play the role of Motaur it would have to be Christian Kirk, his upper body already looks very stallion-like. He also went off for 2 catches for 86 yards and his 2nd and 3rd touchdowns Monday night which, based on Mayfield’s deal, must be worth at least a ten commercial contract. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:
KC at BUF
Patrick Mahomes – 21/26 for 225 yards, 10 carries for 36 yards and his 14th and 15th passing touchdowns. Mahomie can put all the ketchup on his steak he wants. Just as long as he doesn’t call it catsup.Â
Travis Kelce – 5 catches for 65 yards and his 4th and 5th touchdowns with 1 fumble lost. Pigskinonator projected Kelce as it’s #1 tight end (surprise) with 6.5 catches, 72 receiving yards and 0.92 touchdowns against the Bills. Hey Rudy, throw some more bacon grease into the bot’s tank—it was off 1.08 touchdowns, 1.5 catches, 7 yards and 1 fumble lost on Kelce!
Clyde Edwards-Helaire – 26 carries for 161 yards, 4 catches for 8 yards. Not a bad parting gift for CEH owners before Le’Veon Bell (COVID Test Pending) comes in and steals his job. I’m kidding, that’s not going to happen. A 50/50 split seems like best case scenario for Bell owners, but that feels optimistic. I’m thinking CEH is a low end RB1/high end RB2 and Le’Veon is a low end RB2/high end flex play rest of season.
Darrel Williams – 6 carries for 26 yards and his 1st touchdown. Can I get these stats added to my Le’Veon Bell best ball team’s scores? Stupid COVID protocols! Stupid COVID everything!
Tyreek Hill – 3 catches for 20 yards, 1 carry for 5 yards. Ramsay Bolton knocked Reek down a few pegs in this game. Expect him to rediscover his manhood next week against the Broncos.
Demarcus Robinson – 5 catches for 69 yards. Nice. It was a flaccid night for Mecole Hardman (0 catches on only 1 target) and looks like it might be either Robinson or Hardman getting Mahomes looks from week to week.
Josh Allen – 14/27 for 122 yards, 8 carries for 42 yards, 2 touchdowns and 1 interception—he now has 16 passing touchdowns on the season. After a scorching start Allen has cooled a bit, but he’s still on pace for 43 passing touchdowns, 8 rushing touchdowns, 4,500 passing yards and 380 rushing yards. The conditions in Buffalo on Monday evening looked pretty miserable and the Bills tried to slow the game down against the high powered Chiefs offense so I wouldn’t read too much into this stat line.
Stefon Diggs – 6 catches for 46 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Have I mentioned that I had the highest ranking of Diggs out of all 161 “experts” in the Fantasy Pros draft ranking accuracy competition? I brought receipts with this week.
Cole Beasley – 4 catches for 45 yards and his 2nd touchdown. John Brown (0 catches on 4 targets) owners found a lump of Cole in their stocking against the Chiefs. Â
Devin Singletary – 10 carries for 32 yards, 1 catch for 13 yards. Rookie Zack Moss (5 carries for 10 yards) finally returned from his toe injury this week and now finds himself a bit behind Singletary in the pecking order. That said, it wasn’t a great game script for running and I’d still stash Moss on the bench to see how things pan out the next few weeks.
ARI at DAL
Kyler Murray – 9/24 for 188 yards, 10 carries for 74 yards, 2 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing touchdown—he now has 10 passing touchdowns and 6 rushing touchdowns on the year. Kyler’s the first player in the history of the NFL to score both a passing touchdown and a rushing touchdown in 5 of the first 6 games. Dude’s on pace for 27 passing touchdowns and 16 rushing touchdowns and I’m giddy about owning him on all 200 of my fantasy teams.Â
Kenyan Drake – 20 carries for 164 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. So it turns out the demise of Drake was overstated. Kenyan Drake too. Chase Edmonds (5 carries for 23 yards, 1 catch for 6 yards) is still very much worth rostering and should contribute down the road.
DeAndre Hopkins – 2 catches for 73 yards. Nuk was inexplicably shutdown against the Cowboys scarecrow defense most of the night before hauling in a 60 yard late game bomb that came up only yards shy of a touchdown. Hopkins is the top fantasy wide receiver rest of season, at least in my book, which can be purchased on Amazon for $1,100.
Andy Dalton – 34/54 266 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions. Instead of writing about Andy I’ll be choosing a quote from Roadhouse each week which most closely matches Andy Dalton’s play. This week’s quote:
Tilghman: “It’s a good night. Nobody died.”Â
Dalton: “It’ll get worse before it gets better.“
Dalton Schultz – 4 catches for 35 yards. Schultz hasn’t yet earned himself Roadhouse quotes, feel free to drop him.
Ezekiel Elliott – 12 carries for 49 yards, 8 catches for 31 yards and 2 fumbles lost. The Cowboys kept feeding Zeke, and Zeke kept coughing it up. Obviously their star running back ate too much for lunch.
Amari Cooper – 7 catches for 79 yards and his 2nd touchdown. It was a rough night for all Dallas fantasy assets until Cooper capped off the ugliest 18 play drive in the history of football with a one yard touchdown catch. I’m expecting varying degrees of WR2 production from Amari and rookie phenom CeeDee Lamb (7 catches for 64 yards) moving forward.Â
Michael Gallup – 2 catches for 23 yards. Michael might find himself galluping over to the glue factory with Dalton playing bouncer at the Dallas Double Douche.
