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After the week two Bloody Sunday Massacre, I knew it would be tough watching Monday Night Football this week. Anytime my man Darren Waller touched the ball I flinched in anticipation of another torn ACL or high ankle sprain. My standing Tuesday morning appointment with my fantasy football therapist, where I usually just complain about how unlucky I got in the past week’s matchups, will now be used to work thru this post traumatic fantasy stress syndrome. Fortunately, Darren Waller is one player I won’t need to cry about during that session as he destroyed the Saints’ defense with 12 catches for 103 yards and his 1st touchdown—let’s just hope he didn’t injure his back while carrying the Raiders offense. I ranked Big Sexy Waller as my #3 tight end and #36 overall in my 2020 fantasy football rankings so I’m looking pretty smart, as long as you ignore where I ranked Kerryon Johnson and a bunch of other players. Also, don’t ask why I’m required to wear a helmet around my house. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Drew Brees – 26/38 for 312 yards, 1 touchdown and 1 interception. If he had Darren Waller or even Michael Thomas (ankle) at his disposal then this line would’ve looked a lot better. Without Thomas, Brees isn’t a startable fantasy option unless he’s facing one of the softer secondaries in the league. Even with Thomas back I’d still swap Brees out for someone like Ryan Tannehill, if available.

Alvin Kamara – 13 carries for 79 yards, 9 catches for 95 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. With Saquon done for the year and McCaffrey on the shelf for a month plus, Kamara and Zeke now claim the top two spots in the running back world. Alvin’s receptions make his PPR floor very solid, like mahogany. 

Emmanuel Sanders – 1 catch for 18 yards and only 3 targets with Michael Thomas on the shelf. Manny was held catchless until the final garbage time drive. You know what else is garbage? 3 targets! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! Wait, maybe I shouldn’t have taken those pills I found under the couch.

Tre’Quan Smith – 5 catches for 86 yards. Smith was obviously the number one receiving option for Brees in this one as he looked his way 7 times because Emmanuel Sanders made fun of the QB’s hair before the game. Tre’Quan is a decent waiver add this week if you’re needy at wide receiver and guys like Corey Davis, Robby Anderson and Russell Gage are already owned. 

Jared Cook – 2 catches for 13 yards and his 1st touchdown. The Saints let Jared cook. The appetizer he served up was great but I had to sneak the main course under the table to the dog. Have you ever heard of salt, Jared?

Derek Carr – 28/38 for 282 yards and 3 touchdowns. I know it was just one game, but is Carr better than Brees at this stage in his career?

Josh Jacobs – 27 carries for 88 yards, 3 catches for 17 yards. I speculated that the Raiders might scale back JJ’s usage in year two after he wore down as a rookie, but that theory has been debunked. Gruden’s ready to ride his horse off onto the Vegas strip, making 1st round fantasy value almost certain if Jacobs can stay healthy. Speaking of which, I hid under my coffee table when Jacobs hobbled off in the 3rd quarter, but he returned shortly after. Pigskinonator has him ranked as it’s RB3 this coming week with a projection of 19 carries for 86 yards, 3 catches for 21 yards and a decent chance for a touchdown. Sign up for the 7 day free trial now to see all of the brilliant bot’s projections for week 3.

Jalen Richard – 2 carries for 26 yards and his 1st touchdown. The Frenchman lost a fumble in the 4th quarter, then totally redeemed himself with a beautiful 20 yard touchdown run. He still isn’t rosterable even in the deepest of leagues after seeing zero targets in the passing game.

Henry Ruggs – 1 catch for 4 yards. Don’t crown Henry the Third as a fantasy stud just yet. Ruggs and fellow rookie Bryan Edwards (2 catches for 42 yards) both have all the talent in the world but for now they’re just boom or bust options. And early returns are showing more bust than boom which is coincidentally the title of both Ryan Leaf and Jennifer Love Hewitt’s auto-biographies. Â