1349140651_eli

Greetings! As we speak, I’m rectally inhaling MDMA in order to get through this post without breaking down into hysteria over my rankings from last week. To those of you I’ve wounded, I give my sincerest apologies. And to those of you I helped…anyone? ANYONE? Never mind. You’ve got to be realistic about these things. Anyway, I absolutely adore that beautiful-minded Eli Manning this week. He gets a Saints defense that just got bent over a barrel and shown all 50 states by the Las Vegas Raiders, and, oh, by the way, they just lost their best corner. Say one thing for the New Orleans Saints, I have absolutely no freaking clue on who the next man up is. I suppose that’s not surprising, considering I was unaware that this nobody who was injured was their best DB. That’s right ya’ll, the Saints defense is thinner than Giraffe schlong, and I, for one, plan on taking full advantage of it. Doubt me if you dare, for the last occurrence where I was doubted, I ended up with my chiseled glutes spread with my cousin’s tongue between them. She was a second cousin and not by blood. [Jay’s Note: Wait, what?]

I am Lord Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

 

Players the Lord believes will Delight in Week 2

Case Keenum – Just kidding.

David Johnson – My number one RB for the week is David Johnson, and though this may not be a revelation of Elder Godlical proportions, I expect David “Big” Johnson to HAM and deviled eggs on this soft Buccaneers defense. Fully, maaaaaaan.  Yes, I realize the Falcons didn’t exactly run wild on this once proud (VERY briefly) franchise, but that just may have something to do with the fact they were trailing heavily for the entirety of the matchup. The one thing fantasy footballers were afraid of, Johnson splitting time with the other running backs, now resides with Christian Slater, Tim Couch, and Joey Gladstone in a land of memories so forgotten the only way to bring them back up is through acid trip. Pay the price for Johnson in DFS for he shall be worth every red cent. Witness!

C.J. Anderson – Anyone catch that Colts game last week…? Anyone notice that SOMEHOW, no matter how ludicrous this may sound, that defense is more horrific than every before. I, for one, did not realize that was possible, but I suppose when you let your most consistent defender, Freeman, walk in free agency, spend NO MONEY on defense, your best defensive back is injured, and you have ZERO young talent on defense other than Henry Anderson, who by the way is also hurt, you’re gonna be softer than Roseanne’s son on that side of the ball. Ceej averaged 4.6 on the ground and caught 4 balls for 47 yards against the intimidating front seven of the NFC champion Panthers. What do you think he’ll do to these puff pastries? Damage of epic proportions is what. Heed my words.

T.J. Yeldon – Teej averaged a peasant like 1.7 YPC against the Pack attack last week, but guess what, my goodmen, Chris Ivory is more than likely going to miss another game due to an undisclosed illness and the Jags get the hapless Chargers, who Spencer Ware just got buck nasty on. Yeldon had a nice day catching the ball last Sunday, so exposing this pathetic defense shouldn’t be a problem. Seriously, they made Spencer Ware look like a cross between Natrone Means and Bo Jackson. If I said anymore, I’d be rambling.

Shane Vereen – Considering Rashad Jennings is more used up than Kardashian cooter, and the fact that this should be a high scoring affair, Vereen is an under the radar play, even in standard leagues this week.

Alshon Jeffery – The Eagles are already thinner than Ralph Lifshitz’s dong at corner and McCelvin may not play, meaning that Jeffery should be able to go over a hundo with at least one score, no problemo. I’d bet my chicken’s life upon it.

Emmanuel Sanders – See my blurb on C.J. Anderson. And if D.T. is banged up, Sanders will receive HEAVY targets. Pay attention.

Dwayne Allen – Dwaaazy is one of my main bounce back players of the year and I loved watching him undress the Lions secondary like it was a Hilton sister at a VH1 award show afterparty. And if Luck is to find any holes in this Broncos defense, I believe in my blackened heart, that it will be against the Broncos safeties and linebackers in coverage on Allen. He’s got a Kirstie Alley-type body, giving him the ability to box out smaller and weaker players when going for contested balls.

 

 

Players the Lord believes will Disgrace in Week 2

Tyrod Taylor – Yup, yuppers, the Lord is officially off the wagon, and I’m not talking cocaine  (Though, that’s also back on). To no fault of Tygod’s, I might add, but off nonetheless. The Bills offense simply has less options than a white guy at a Kardashian pool party when Sammy Watkins is below 70 percent out on the field. Robert Woods has somehow regressed every single season in the league, and Charles Clay represents arguably the worst contract in football. Taylor had absolutely NOWHERE to throw the ball last week and I’m scared for his life this week against that fearsome Jets front. I’d say there’s a 40 percent chance he gets injured this week and misses multiple games.

Russell Wilson – An injured ankle and a nasty Rams front seven that always gives Seattle fits,  keeps Russ the Elder Blessed out of my top ten quarterbacks this week. His running ability will obviously be hindered and I expect an extremely low scoring game, so probably not the best week to start the man who made Ciara relevant again. Sorry, Future, it wasn’t you. By the way, how incredible is it that Future is so insanely popular. I can hardly recite any of his lyrics yet I can’t deny the catchiness to his music. Wilson still has three inches on him though, and that’s gotta hurt.

Frank Gore – Being old, not very good and slow isn’t a good combination for facing the league’s nastiest defense, the Denver Broncos. One must be realistic about these things. If only Jim Irsay could put down the pipe for a few days to fire this general manager and coach, we’d be good to go.

LeSean McCoy – Nothing about this matchup with the Jets intrigues me other than the fact there’s a solid chance Shady, Tyrod, and Watkins all miss half the season after being abused on Thursday night. Seriously, bet everything you own on the Jets, no matter what the spread.

Torrey Smith – I’m not going to name drop all the “experts” who came on my television show ‘Off the Record,’ and told me Torrey was going to go off this season, for that would be super duper rude, and Beddict don’t play like that. Or do I? Either way, it’s only been one week, so I can’t be too harsh… Make it two weeks…

Jack Doyle – O’Doyle DOES NOT rule.

 

 

Thank you for joining me for another fun filled edition of Disgrace/Delight. As per usual, your comments and questions will be responded to in the section below. I am at your service and enjoy the banter. If you’re upset with me about last week, I’m sure you can find bad advice elsewhere. Your Lord loves you.

  1. POINS POINTS POINTS says:
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    im in a 12 team ppr yardage n scoring league would you drop chris thompson for shawn draughn, my other RB’s are forte, r. jennings, t.j. yeldon, crowell and b. powell. Would you drop vincent jackson for say steve smith from balt. or 1 of the SD WR. benjamin or t. williams ? my other WR are cooks, decker, cobb and marvin jones. Basically these 2 are on the bottom of my roster I think and these are a few of the free agents I might be able to get. I have the last waiver wire pick since i was the highest scoring team last week. So any of those 4 players worth a drop of either of my players. Thx for the help !

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @POINS POINTS POINTS: Such a tough call on Steve Smith. i think as of now I’d rather have the Chargers guys since the targets should be huge whereas Baltimore should be spread out with some of those new editions and SMith off the horrible injury. Thompson and Draughn are one and the same. I prob prefer Thompson with Matt Jones struggling and Hyde looking very nice. any time, my goodman. any time

  2. Chicken Dinner says:
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    B. Celek or Sefarian-Jenkins ROS?

    Thanks.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: ASJ for me is much more sexy. but short term Celek should be far more consistent.

  3. JimmyJackJames says:
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    14 team PPR – who to drop for Enunwa? Perriman, Green-Beckham or hold?

    Thanks!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @JimmyJackJames: Id drop Perriman and not blink an eye. its that simple

      • JimmyJackJames says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thank you sir – can you put these PPR jack rabbits in order of preference: Enunwa, Kerley and Beasley

        Thinking of grabbing two of them in lieu of Perriman/DGB

        Thanks again

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @JimmyJackJames: interesting question.

          I’d like to see a bit more from Enunwa but he might have most upside.

          Enunwa, Kerley, Beasley. i would think Dak might lean on Beasley a bit but not enough targets to go around.

  4. ashtray says:
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    Is that a Bloody Nine reference I see?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @ashtray: Say one thing for Lord Beddict, say he loves him some bloody nine

  5. Jbona3 says:
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    0.5 PPR, looking to fill WR2 (start 2 WR) and FLEX – which two of: Moncrief, Diggs, Witten, Riddick, K. White.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jbona3: for this week only? tough call. Packers and Broncos secondary are quite nasty. Im higher on White this week than most and like his matchup there against Philly secondary. Think Moncrief should probably be started and I’d go with upside of White this week

  6. Adam says:
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    Would u trade Christine Michael for T Sharpe ( ten) ?
    Jordan Matthews or Donte Moncrief ROS?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Adam: I like Matthews a lot. should be more consistent week to week than Moncrief in my opinon.

      I’d be curious to see how Rawls looks this week but yea it seems Sharpe is def the number one there.

  7. Tony says:
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    Dropping Torrey. Blount and Fuller are free, Brown and White would use a waiver. What should I do?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Tony: i would grab Fuller ASAP!!!!!

      • Tony says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks man. It’s a 8-man 2QB, 2 Flex, so that’s why he slipped through waivers.

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Tony: I see. get er done

  8. Zandy says:
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    didnt get a chance to watch the game. howd jimmy graham look? worth stashing still? or cut bait for a devontae booker or a wentz (lotto ticket guy)

    Thanks buddy

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zandy: He played about 15 snaps I believe. had a nice catch on final drive. will continue to be ramped up usage wise I’m sure. I’d probably hold for a minute. Who do you have at quarterback?

        • Zandy says:
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          @Zandy:

          Bortles
          Hopkins Maclin
          Ingram Forte
          Ware
          Kelce
          Bn: jCharles, jGordon, Blount, Tevin, Sproles, Hogan, Graham

          • LT Murray IV

            Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Zandy: naaaaaasty

            • Zandy says:
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              @Tehol Beddict: haha draft luck…. Haven’t even made a free agent move

              • LT Murray IV

                Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Zandy: no need, my goodman. no need

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Zandy: yea, no need for Opie then

          • Zandy says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: sorry lol whose Opie?

            • LT Murray IV

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Zandy: Carson Wentz LMAO

                • LT Murray IV

                  Tehol Beddict says:
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                  @Zandy: you got it dude (Michelle Tanner Voice)

  9. WhenYourUncleGetsOffTheGrillToShowYouHowTightHisSpiralIs says:
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    Hello Tehol,

    I know this may be a dumb question based on your rankings – but which two RBs should I start for week 2? I am afraid to bench Mccoy since he was my highest score from week 1…

    LeSean
    Lacy
    Ryan Matthews
    Foster
    Charles Sims

    Also, should I start T.Y. Hilton against Broncos D or should I be a prisoner of the moment and start WIllie Snead?

    THanks!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @WhenYourUncleGetsOffTheGrillToShowYouHowTightHisSpiralIs: I am extremely worried about the McCoy facing the Jets tho Shady may be their only hope. Im just sort of expecting a worst case scenario here. Lacy for sure needs to be started. The Bears run defense is actually pretty solid but I’d still probably prefer Matthews over McCoy this week but I wont blame you if you go Shady over him

  10. Brian says:
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    What is your thoughts on Watkins ROS I should have known better than to draft him bad news is I drafted him all over the place. This guy seems to always have an injury must be soft.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Brian: I’m extremely concerned. I ranked him higher than almost anyone before the season began as I was led to believe he was over the foot problem but that’s not the case. The Bills other weapons are not getting the job done. I also drafted him everywhere. He’s bounced back before so let’s hope for the best.

  11. Ha Ha Clinton Dix says:
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    Tehol! How are you amigo?! Need some help for this week. I am in a ten team .5 PPR league. How should I start?

    QB1- Bortles or Mariota?
    RB1-L. Miller
    RB2-D. Murray or Lacy or Hill or Jennings or C. Michaael
    WR1-Sharpe or G. Tate?
    WR2-Hurns
    F-W. Fuller
    TE- Kelce
    D- JAX
    K-Catanzaro

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ha Ha Clinton Dix:

      Bortles
      Miller
      Lacy
      Tate
      and rest is great

  12. G-man says:
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    Got offered aj green for lesean McCoy and Brandon Marshall. I have Julio jones, Marshall, Jarvis Landry, Randall Cobb for WRs and Ingram, McCoy, Ryan Mathews, woodhead, Blount, and Crowell as RBs. Am overreacting to week 1 Brandon Marshall with this trade? I feel like I can make up for McCoy with my RB Depth, but I’m not sure. It’s half ppr btw

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @G-man: Maaaaaan you almost have to make that trade but I dont like where that leaves you at RB and you’re already stacked at wr so maybe I’d hold

  13. Beef Jerky says:
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    12 team 1pt ppr

    My Hopkins and Ameer for his Dez, AP and Hyde.

    Thoughts

    Rest of the team
    Cuz
    l. Murray
    Moncrief
    Diggs
    J.Reed
    J. Charles
    Forsett
    T.west
    C.west

    • Beef Jerky says:
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      @Beef Jerky: oh and Kerley

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Beef Jerky: yes, id make that trade immediately.

  14. William Hung says:
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    Someone dropped Zach Ertz and I have the 2nd waiver priority. 12 team.5 PRR. Should I use it and drop Torrey Smith / Corey Coleman? Getting a 2nd opinion as [email protected] told me to stay put since I already have Olsen at TE.

    I was thinking Ertz could be trade bait / better player than Smith when healthy, but not sure if I should burn my waiver priority

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William Hung: yea might as well just hold. no need for a second tight end

  15. Rondo says:
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    Which side do you like in a 14-team .25PPR?

    A) Eli, Le’Veon, Lockett, Reed
    B) Carr, Lacy, Benjamin, Tyrell Williams

    Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Rondo: shoot. Not sure how I missed ya! Bell side

  16. RotoLance

    RotoLance says:
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    Good writing. I’m humbled by your humility. I gotta say you don’t literally own Watkins everywhere, because I own him in the Razz Writer League. I do in fact own him everywhere, 3 for 3. He came at a discount twice so I’m not hurting too much.

    Tyrod only threw 22 passes last week. So some positive type regression will be there. That offense needs to move the ball better. I think technically the Jets are an easier matchup than the Bengals. Not really certain of that.

    • RotoLance

      RotoLance says:
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      @RotoLance: I’m obviously very confused on who played whom. The Bills did not play the Bengals last week, the Bills opponents this week, the Jets, did. I’m confused because I’ve got Ryan Fitzpatrick going this week in my home league (2 QB league) and I’ve also got both McCoy and Watkins in that league. Which is to say I’m freaking the hell out right now.

      • LT Murray IV

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @RotoLance: I’d be freaking out too. this is going to be super ugly

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @RotoLance: Thank you!!!! my humility is known to be humbling for certain. Watkins is in trouble. Tyrod is in trouble. I pray he doesn’t get killed out there. I’m terrified for his safety .

  17. ivebeenupthreedaysstraight says:
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    @Tehol Beddict: “You’ve got to be realistic about these things.” Oh my god, a Joe Abercrombie fan! Love the bloody nine.

  18. TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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    So some fool dropped rawls, would you drop any of these guys for him? Derrick henry, Melvin Gordon, Diggs, Jeremy Hill or one of my defenses (Carolina and Minny). it’s like .5 ppr I think and my receivers are AJ, Sammy and Amari so I would like to hang onto Diggs in case Sammy gets hurt. Thanks bud.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TobiasFunkeAnalRapist: Um, yea. need to do that ASAP. feel free to drop Henry for him altho i would never recommend carrying two defenses so drop one of em and hold Henry

  19. James says:
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    PPR ROS Beasley or Phillip Dorsett?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @James: Dorsett

  20. Los Putos says:
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    I’ve got an injured R Wilson goin w Fitzpatrick on my bench.

    Crazy to pick up FA Osweiler and start him for this weekends match up at home vs KC?

    I have Hopkins and Miller on my squad also which is making me lean towards doing this.

    Thanks

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Los Putos: no problem with that at all. he should outscore both of those QBs this week. im wit it

      • Los Putos says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks. Have a good night

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Los Putos: I always do. ????

  21. Frankgrimes says:
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    Tyrod Taylor?!?!
    LMAO

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frankgrimes: F. U. #FrowneyFace

      • Frankgrimes says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: ,
        Awe cmon lol
        I told you so many times.
        #tyrod=dombrown

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Frankgrimes: if ur a hater and you know it clap yo hands

  22. psh says:
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    kept freeman and watkins for $3 and $5 respectfully. A lot on the site have been saying to wait how both of these situations to play out but we only keep 3/year, 2 of my keepers essentially went down week 1 as far as i’m concerned. I’m thinking of jumping ship on both while theres still value to be had:

    would you:
    1) deal $1 freeman, $3 crowell, $1Dwayne allen for $40 rawls, $1 julius thomas,

    2) Deal $1 freeman, $10 diggs, $3 c mike for $60 lesean mccoy, $3 Doug martin, $1 julius thomas

    3) Deal $1 freeman, $6 forsett, $2 isiaah crowell for $2 jordan reed, $8 jay ajayi, $6 charles sims

    thanks.

    • psh says:
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      @psh: of the three can you say which one you prefer the most, 2nd and third? i’m trying to blast trade offers

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @psh: is it ppr? What is your depth chart ? Deal 2 is hella solid talent wise. McCoy expensive but him and Martin? Do that. Deal 1 2nd Choice deal 3 3rd choice

  23. William Hung says:
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    @Tehol – the next 4 opponents for the Niners are @Car, @Sea, Dal, Ari… how in the world is Torrey Smith or any Niners receiver getting stats the next 2 weeks? Even after Ari, they play the Bills… a terrible schedule to try to get your offense going. If Torrey Smith comes out with 1 TD and 100 yards receiving after Week 3, then MAYBE the breakout season is going to happen. But I just don’t see how if the Niners bombed with the exception of Hyde against the Rams, they are going to get better facing CAR and SEA

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William Hung: it’s not going to happen bro bro. I just don’t see it

  24. Sano Chance in Hell says:
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    Would like to add Tyrell Williams in my PPR league…would you drop any of the following for him?

    1. Philip Rivers (starting Stafford)
    2. Christine Michael
    3. Michael Thomas

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Sano Chance in Hell: yessssir! Feel free to drop Michael or Thomas for him depending on ur depth

  25. Big W says:
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    Tehol, you are an entertainer for sure… one of my fav. Razzball writers!

    So far so good in week 1, but what do you think of my squad rest of season? Any tips/suggestions on my roster? It’s a yahoo standard 12 team league btw…

    Blake Bortles Jax – QB
    Odell Beckham Jr. NYG – WR
    Jordy Nelson GB – WR
    Donte Moncrief Ind – WR
    LeSean McCoy Buf – RB
    DeMarco Murray Ten – RB
    Dwayne Allen Ind – TE
    Arian Foster Mia – RB (Flex)
    Stephen Gostkowski NE – K
    Houston Hou – DEF

    Bench
    Markus Wheaton Pit – WR
    Isaiah Crowell Cle – RB
    Kevin White Chi – WR
    Jerick McKinnon Min – RB
    Austin Seferian-Jenkins TB – TE
    Rob Kelley Was – RB
    Jalen Richard Oak – RB

    Thank you in advance my good Lord!

    – Big W

    • Tehol Beddicte says:
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      @Big W: missed you, sir! I fired my assistant. We good

  26. Drew says:
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    Hey what’s up,

    PPR leauge, don’t know if I should keep M.Gordon in my flex spot or throw in Jennings against the Saints. Your thoughts?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Drew: gods, Jennings is weak at times but this should be a worthwhile matchup higher upside than Gordon this week. Totally support that move

      • Big W says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Good Lord Tehol, you have skipped my comment just above this one.

        I have been good to you my Lord, why would you do this to me??? haha

        • Tehol Beddicte says:
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          @Big W: NEVER AGAIN

  27. John says:
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    I’m in a 10-team espn standard scoring league. I’ve got Coby Fleener as my lone TE, and both Zach Ertz and Gary Barnridge were dropped today. Other available TE’s are ASJ and Eric Ebron. Would you drop Coby for any of these? Which one?

    I’m really hoping Coby bounces back, and I’m hesitant to drop him before seeing how Week 2 goes.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @John: yea, Fleener has great matchup this week so we shall see if he can produce. id grab Barnidge tho if you have a spot for him. that would be my guess

  28. DT says:
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    YO!

    James White, Matt Jones, or Duke Johnson Jr in 10 team ppr league?

    In same league, who would you go with if you had to start 3 this week: OBJ, Jordy, E. Sanders, G. Tate, W. Snead?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @DT: What up Cuz, what up blood, what up gaaaaangstaaaaaaa!!!! Im feeling Matty Jones this week out of those three. Its make or break!

      OBJ Jordy and Sanders. I love Sanders if D.T. banged or doesnt play. if D.T. seems fine id consider Snead but if it were I, id probably still go Sanders

  29. Big W says:
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    Hi Tehol, you missed my comment above so I’ll copy and paste it here please and thank you…

    Tehol, you are an entertainer for sure… one of my fav. Razzball writers!

    So far so good in week 1, but what do you think of my squad rest of season? Any tips/suggestions on my roster? It’s a yahoo standard 12 team league btw…

    Blake Bortles Jax – QB
    Odell Beckham Jr. NYG – WR
    Jordy Nelson GB – WR
    Donte Moncrief Ind – WR
    LeSean McCoy Buf – RB
    DeMarco Murray Ten – RB
    Dwayne Allen Ind – TE
    Arian Foster Mia – RB (Flex)
    Stephen Gostkowski NE – K
    Houston Hou – DEF

    Bench
    Markus Wheaton Pit – WR
    Isaiah Crowell Cle – RB
    Kevin White Chi – WR
    Jerick McKinnon Min – RB
    Austin Seferian-Jenkins TB – TE
    Rob Kelley Was – RB
    Jalen Richard Oak – RB

    Thank you in advance my good Lord!

    – Big W

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Big W: I am so happy to hear that!!! thank you, sir!!! sorry I missed you! It won’t happen again…..I hope. You have a lot of players I like. nice add with Richard and Kelley. could see some more time shortly. Love Crowell and White on bench. Wheaton should have nice performances. Your running backs seem to be underperforming, but again, it’s early. Loaded at wideout. really nice team, man. good going!

      • Big W says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thank you Tehol the Great! A couple injuries this week, but we’ll manage!

  30. jdnice says:
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    One hour till kickoff…..still stumped over starting Luck and Dorsett or Big Ben and ELi….

Comments are closed.