If you’re familiar with the backstory of Donkey Kong then you know that Mario is the villain of the series. Mario’s an abusive owner in the game and tries to keep Donkey Kong caged up. I always knew there was something off about that Mario dude. On Monday night, Darius Slay was cast in the role of Mario, attempting to lockdown D.K. Metcalf. But the beast could not be contained, going off for 10 catches and 177 yards as he demolished Philly. D.K. didn’t find the end zone, but could easily have finished with three scores if it weren’t for a misfire from Russ, a tackle at the one yard line and a drop. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

Russell Wilson – 22/31 for 230 yards, 6 carries for 12 yards and 1 passing touchdown–he now has 31 passing touchdowns on the season. Russ slaved in the kitchen just a few days ago, producing turkey three different ways: roasted, smoked and fried. So you can’t really blame the guy for not being at the top of his food preparation game. 

Chris Carson – 8 carries for 41 yards, 2 catches for 18 yards and his 7th touchdown in his return from the foot injury. Maybe Sneaky Pete was just easing Carson back in, but there’s a chance this backfield is somewhat of a committee with Carlos Hyde (15 carries for 22 yards, 2 catches for 7 yards) moving forward. Then again, Hyde did just post 1.5 yards per carry which is worse than Bruce Willis’ new movie Hard Kill that’s currently trending on Netflix.  

Tyler Lockett – 3 catches for 23 yards. There wasn’t much to get excited about Monday night other than the Donkey Kong show. Lockett has become more of a boom or bust WR2 as Russ has regressed and Metcalf has risen. 

David Moore – 3 catches for -6 yards and his 5th touchdown. I wonder if anyone has ever done worse than -2 yards per catch with three or more receptions. Disregard Moore.

Carson Wentz – 25/45 for 215 yards, 5 carries for 42 yards, 2 touchdowns and 1 interception–he now has 16 passing touchdowns to go with his 15 interceptions on the season. The murmurs for Jalen Hurts (1/1 for 6 yards) grow by he minute.

Miles Sanders – 6 carries for 15 yards, 2 catches for 7 yards and a 2 point conversion. Giving your most explosive player only 8 touches in a game is almost as unacceptable as the acting in that Bruce Willis movie. Seriously, don’t watch it. Anyway, how long til they start calling for Pederson’s head in Philly?

Jalen Reagor – 3 catches for 11 yards. Playing for the Eagles could turn any Targaryen into a Mad King.

Dallas Goedert – 7 catches for 75 yards and his 3rd touchdown. A question from last week was whether Zach Ertz‘s (ankle) impending return would ruin Goedert’s fantasy value. Ertz looked like a shell of himself prior to the injury, so I’m guessing not. 

Richard Rodgers – 3 catches for 53 yards and his 2nd touchdown. Dick Rod slid in the backdoor on a Hail Mary in the final seconds to ruin my Seahawks +6.5 cover. Actually it was Doug Pederson’s nonsensical decision to go for two that stole the money out of my pocket. Awesome.