I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Cincinnati Bengals (+6) at Cleveland Browns

Forecast: Nice of the NFL to serve us up the Ohio Toilet Bowl as a week 2 primetime game. On the plus side, you know Odell Beckham Jr. is always ready to go for the toilet bowl! But Odell’s disturbing fetish won’t be the only story line of our week two Thursday Night Football match up. Don’t take your eyes off Myles Garrett on the opening drive. He’ll sack the Bengals rookie QB, Joe Burrow, and knock him out of the game by ripping Burrow’s new bling chain off and beating him over the head with it. After the rookie’s departure, Ryan Finley will keep the Bengals in this one by peppering A.J. Green and Tyler Boyd with his deep ball, in the 5-7 yard range. On the ground, Nick will get his Chubb back, but Mixon will continue to leave his owners limp. And down the stretch, it’ll be Case Keenum flinging the feces to OBJ; Baker Mayfield has accidentally doubled booked for Thursday night and he’ll have to sneak away at halftime to record a few Progressive commercials.  Browns 28, Bengals 17

Wager: Browns -6 (1 Unit)

2020 Season: 0-1 (-1.1 Units)

 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 2:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a 7 day free trial and only $17.95 for the full season.

 

  1. frankgrimes says:
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    Trubisky is too low!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      As a Bears fan, I need to see it again to believe :)

  2. toolshed says:
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    If godwin can’t go, would you start josh kelly, scott miller, latavius murray or goeedert at flex? .5 ppr. Not a lot of bench to work with in this league. Thx

    • toolshed says:
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      Or shenault who I could add if I cut somebody? Thx

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Who can you cut for him? I’d prefer Shenault over Miller if he’s your low man…I’d start kelley over him still…

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Kelley for me, I’m a believer

      • toolshed says:
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        I’d be cutting my backup qb Jones for shenault. Please note that if I cut Jones I would be the only team w/o a 2nd qb in 12 team league. This league is so different than what I am used to.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Who’s your QB1? Are there still a handful of backup QBs available or are there teams owning 3?

          • toolshed says:
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            Qb1 is rodgers. I was last person to draft a qb. Not much available except minshew, trubisky, carr, cousins,, garrapolo, mayfield, lock, darnold, Taylor. The usual suspects. Burrow was cut this week. Thx

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              Eh, I think you’re fine cutting Jones then. I like Minshew just as much. Cousins isn’t a bad option either as a bye week fill in or if Rodgers has a tough match up.

              I’d make the move for Shenault…

              • toolshed says:
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                Thanks for the thorough review. I appreciate it

                • Donkey Teeth

                  Donkey Teeth says:
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                  No problem, anytime toolshed.

  3. hamtime says:
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    Unsure why Jordan Howard and Lindsay were dropped. Would you burn a #1 waiver for any of them? And who would you drop: aiyuk, Samuel, or Kirk

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Depends on how deep your league is. Lindsay is out prob a couple weeks with turf toe and Howard, well, Dolphins. I’d add them both over Aiyuk and Kirk but if it’s on the shallower side maybe save your priority if you’re near the top…

  4. howie2978 says:
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    Would you drop Devante Parker for Diontae Johnson?

    My other receivers are Godwin, Juju, Gallup, and Slayton.

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I prefer Diontae but they’re close.

      No problem!

  5. hitzone says:
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    12 team standard keep 3

    1)Trade my Davante/mostert/j Robinson for Saquon/Sutton/P Williams

    2) Trade my Davante/Mostert/9th rounder for Aj Brown/Chubb/4th rounder

    Saquon is waiting for me to accept, You would do both deals? 1 or 2 preferred?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah I’d do both but prefer #1 by a wide margin

      • hitzone says:
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        Ugh typo it was my 4th and his 1st in 2nd deal. Welp I took Saquon deal. Can’t beat having Zeke/Saquon/Mixon as your 3 Keepers.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Yeah, you’re loaded

  6. MM03 says:
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    Hey man what’s going on? Love you guys at razzball. Always good reads. In a standard 12 team h2h league. Would you put Hockenson or Paris Campbelm in the FLEX over Keenan Allen? I might have to with Godwin in concussion protocol but if all is good what would you do?

    WR- Godwin, DK Metcalf
    RB- CMC, Miles Sanders
    Flex- Keenan Allen
    Bench – Hockenson, Fournette, Emannuel Sanders, Paris Campbell, Josh Kelley

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d stick with Kennan there. If Godwin is out I’d actually sub in Sanders FWIW. Could have a huge game with MT out…

  7. bobsnyder4210 says:
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    Common 1/2 PPR scoring in a 10-team…have Engram at TE but I could likely pick up Hurst, Jonnu or Logan Thomas before Sunday.

    Wait out Engram’s case of the dropsies hoping for the upside or if not how would you rank the other 3 to grab and start at least till their byes?

    Thanks for all your help, man.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d stick with Engram for another week and see. I’d rank the other three in the order you have em. No problem at all.

  8. HomeOfTheWAPer says:
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    Bridgewater seems like the safer play over Burrow on a short week on the road. Am I crazy?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nah not crazy at all. Floor definitely feels quite a bit higher. If you’re confident in the rest of your team in this week’s matchup then do it…

  9. Adam says:
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    PPR 12 man league. Godwin and fant or Connor and kittle?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Godwin for me but it’s fair

  10. Darren says:
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    RB help in PPR league. I have

    Conner
    Taylor
    Cohen
    Taylor
    Hines
    Kelley

    Is offering Cohen a reasonable offer for the Snell owner. Too much? Too little?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yep I think that’s fair. At the very least it’s a good starting place…

  11. William Hung says:
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    Dang it – Godwin’s concussion means I think I need to play OBJ tonight and bench one of Emmanuel Sanders and Cooper Kupp on Sunday if he is indeed playing… I can only start 2 WRs and 1 FLEX

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Strong options. I’d start OBJ and bench Manny if you have to.

  12. Sancho says:
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    Damn I was ready to throw Burrow out there already over Wentz… Would the ranking be different if it wasn’t a Thursday night game? Wentz looked like garbage in the 2nd half once that O-lineman went down.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah a rookie QB with no preseason on a short week is not enticing to me

      • barrelsii says:
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        Godwin for Taylor?

        Standard, 3 WR, 12 team

        QB Wilson
        RB Elliot
        RB Mostert
        WR J. Jones
        WR Godwin
        WR Slayton
        TE Andrews
        FLEX Michel
        BENCH: Anthony Miller, Deebo Samuel, Mike Williams, Armstead, Bryan Edwards, Burrow, Kelley

        • barrelsii says:
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          Sorry, this was supposed to be a new comment

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            No problem

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Fair deal, I’d want Taylor in standard.

  13. Dan Langford says:
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    12 team half ppr league.. in a tough spot where I need to drop someone to activate Miles Sanders.

    Who do I let go:

    Breida
    N. Hines
    Sony Michel
    Henry Ruggs
    Parris Campbell
    Joshua Kelley

    • Dan Langford says:
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      Dynasty league btw w/ 3 keepers.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d lose Breida, bad team and it seems like he’s suddenly their #3

  14. Btdrnks says:
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    Hey Donkey! In need of some roster advice in a 12 team Keeper (3 players kept at a cost of a 1st, 2nd and 3rd respectively_

    QB: L. Jackson
    RB: Chubb, Gurley, Conner, Gibson, Kelley, Gaskin
    WR: Woods, Diontae Johnson, Ruggs, Jeudy, Crowder
    TE: Fant, Herndon

    Chase Edmonds is available. Would you drop Herndon for him? RB is a wasteland on my waivers. Looking for some lottery tickets.

    Thanks in advance!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Btdrnks,

      Yes, Edmonds is a great lotto ticket…I’d make that swap.

      No problem, anytime!

  15. otisP says:
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    Full point PPR for my flex: One of James Connor, Jarvis Landry, Darius Slayton. I am thinking Slayton primarily due to injuries to the other two.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’m with you on Slayton. It’s pretty much a coin flip between him and Landry but might as well go with the healthy guy…

  16. Chet says:
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    Thanks, DT!

    Who would you rather have for the ROS: Sony Michel or Joshua Kelley?
    (10-team, standard, redraft league)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      No problem, Chet!

      Kelley for me.

      • Chet says:
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        Thanks, DT! Sorry, one more quickie question(s): I grabbed Washington’s defense with the hopes that there is really something there….a fantasy hold. What do you think? Was it just a really bad Philly O-line or could this be a stud fantasy D this year?

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I think a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. There’s a chance they’re a stud D, they’re D-line is really good. But more likely I expect them to be a play against teams with weak o-lines like the Eagles rather than an every week start.

          • Chet says:
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            Thanks for the response. Much appreciated!

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              Sure, Chet. Never hesitate to ask!

  17. Ludicrous Speed says:
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    Chark or McLauren ROS 1/2 ppr? Thx.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      McLaurin for me. No problem.

  18. Aaron Pags

    Aaron Pags says:
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    It ain’t gambling when you get 50:1 on a STONE COLD LOCK!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Free money giveaway, Pags!!

  19. howie2978 says:
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    Sorry, I know I keep beating a dead horse. Last one on Diontae I promise!

    8 team H2H 0.5PPR

    WR: Godwin, Robinson, Gallup, Devante, Slayton
    RB: Barkley, Sanders, Taylor, Drake, Moss, Swift

    Instead of dropping a WR (Devante or Slayton) I figured I could drop Swift for Dontae Johnson. Would you?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      No worries. I’d keep Swift for the upside. Upside is the name of the game with only 8 teams…

  20. desperate says:
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    I dont know what it is but I’ve zeroed in on Josh Kelley, however, someone drafted him in my league.

    would you trade: Tony Pollard/ Jordan Howard/ and either Buffalo or 49ers D to get him?

    instead of it looking like a 3:1 trade i’d likely ask for another of his bench guys back. who would you choose from: justin jefferson, austin hooper, n’keal harry (assume he wont part with the last one. I really just want josh kelley and likely going to drop whoever else i get back in the trade)

    Thanks.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes, I’d do that trade. Kelley was #3 on my sleeper list this year and looked really good in week 1. I’d choose Harry but agree the spare piece doesn’t really matter.

      • Chet says:
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        Hey, DT! Do you like Joshua Kelley more than Antonio Gibson for ROS?

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          No I’d take Gibson there in any sort of PPR. If it’s standard then they’re much closer but still slight lean to Gibson for me.

  21. Wywyz says:
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    I have Snell. Should I trade away AJ Brown for Conner?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nah I’d keep Brown

  22. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Dr. Hibbert last?! Shame on you

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Insert Dr. HIbbert laughing GIF

  23. scoboticus says:
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    Hi DT!

    Rate this trade:

    I get Chris Godwin and Marvin Ingram
    I give Alvin Kamara and Darius Slayton

    • scoboticus says:
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      Forgot to say 1/2 PPR

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey scoboticus!

      I don’t like it. Rather have Kamara, especially with Godwin now in the concussion protocol.

  24. scoboticus says:
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    Is Dalton Schultz the number 36 TE?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Good call on Schultz. I just added in a hand full of deeper names at each position. Schultz being one of them at TE…moved him in at 29. The table should update shortly if it hasn’t already.

  25. crimedog says:
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    Someone just offered me Leveon Bell and Frank Gore for my Benny Snell Jr. I have to take this right? The drop for adding gore would be Kerryon, otherwise, I’d just keep Kerryon over gore.

    Here’s the rest of my team. 14 team PPR , 2 flex

    QB- Rodgers
    RB- Kamara
    RB- Jonathan Taylor
    WR- Thielan
    WR- Courtland Sutton
    TE- Waller
    Flex- Hines
    Flex- Emanuel Sanders

    Bench-Christina Kirk
    Bench-Joshua Kelley
    Bench-Benny Snell Jr.
    Bench- Kerryon Johnson

    • crimedog says:
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      James connor full participant in practice today

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Hmmm. I think it’s really close tbh. Even with Conner practicing. I’d put the odds of Snell surpassing Conner and becoming the lead dog in the Pittsburgh backfield above 50% right now. Do you want to trade that for a guy who’s now out for at least 3 weeks?

        I think it’s a fair deal and at least a coin flip but I’d just keep Snell for the upside.

        • crimedog says:
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          Thanks DT. Much appreciated. Not a ton of upside in leveon anymore.

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            No problem. I really liked him for a bounce back but not sure it’s in the cards at this point.

  26. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    12 team PPR super flex.
    QB: wentz, newton, bridge
    RB (2): (won last week with great score, but this week’ll be harder): AAron, howard, duke, scott (obv he starts if sanders out again), dillon, gio B, gaskin
    WR (3): green, adams, thielen, p-will, sims, j-wash
    TE (1): kelce, goedert
    2 regular flexes too (goedert goes here till proven wrong)
    IR: (3): l.bell

    what about any of these over j-wash (somebody won MVS for 20/100, which is high, i got gaskin for 4 but it could’ve been 1, TEN D for 1): olabisi, cephus, snead? MVS somebody paid 20/100 for (which is crazy high, i got gaskin for 4 but could’ve been 1, streamed TEN D for 1 (could’ve been 0)). usually only a brand new starting QB or like snell this week (but drafted here) would cost near 20. trubisky somebody got for 10 just now too.

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      another option here would be dropping j-wash for jonnu (somebody dropped lately for l.thomas). while i probably wouldn’t play 3 TE’s ever (it’s possible though 2 regular flexes here) might not be a horrible idea. i’d be in far better shape if one/both of goedert/kelce get hurt and also jonnu might be a better play some weeks at the 2nd regular flex.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d lose Washington for Cephus. TBD what his role is once Golladay is back, but I think it’s worth grabbing him to see after he got those 10 targets.

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        yeah in a 20 teamer about 1.5 hours before 1st game sunday i was able to grab and flex start cephus last week, now i dropped arcegawhiteside when golladay is back.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Nice!

        • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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          woah, somebody just dropped henderson in that mentioned 20 teamer (PPR). have this:
          QB: rodgers (early bye), fitzmagic (hopefully starting week 5)
          RB: d-mont, chubb, duke, mattison, gio B
          WR (3): mclaurin, shenault, renfrow, golladay, cephus
          TE (1): hurst, everett
          util (1):
          drop gio B for henderson here?

          • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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            oh shit, just general note, if crowder is out, perriman and herndon get huge ups this week.

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              Yeah Perriman played 100% of snaps last week. Could be a great buy this week…

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            Yep I think that’s the move

            • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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              yeah chubb shouldn’t have been around at 1.14 in a league like this, as long as CLE is in the game (that’s the large if) dude is sick.

              • Donkey Teeth

                Donkey Teeth says:
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                Yep, so many people freaking out after week 1

  27. bigbear says:
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    Thanks for the listings!

    I like how Marquise Brown is moving up your board. Dude’s healthy and looked really good last week. Sure, it was against the Browns, but I think they’ll be near the middle of the pack against the pass this year. I’m calling a top 15 WR season for him this year!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      No problem!

      Definitely possible with Hollywood!

  28. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    good lord i’m in numerous spots with 2 of aj brown/golladay/sutton. one 14 teamer with all 3. not cool. not even sure if i have more than 1 total league with none of them. hahaha, might get lucky on having perriman in the one with all 3 though if crowder is out. it’s p-will and sims time otherwise likely (20 yards per point return yardage for sims)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yikes!

  29. barrelsii says:
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    Godwin for Taylor?

    Standard, 3 WR, 12 team

    QB Wilson
    RB Elliot
    RB Mostert
    WR J. Jones
    WR Godwin
    WR Slayton
    TE Andrews
    FLEX Michel
    BENCH: Anthony Miller, Deebo Samuel, Mike Williams, Armstead, Bryan Edwards, Burrow, Kelley

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah I’d want Taylor

  30. Zandy says:
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    0.5 PPR
    you stating corey davis, aiyuk or Tre-quon?

    • Zandy says:
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      starting* and add Cephus to the mix?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Corey D, he should feast with AJ Brown out…

      • Zandy says:
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        Thanks! Who of the above would you rather roster ROS?

  31. QDOT says:
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    Hi, 12 team ppr…

    For this week 2…
    Would you start both Ekeler and Kelley on same fantasy team?

    L. Thomas or Gesicki at TE?

    pick 2…. Sutton, Cohen, Pres Williams

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey QDot,

      Ekeler for sure, who’s the alternative to Kelley?

      Gesicki for me.

      Cohen for sure, Sutton if he plays.

  32. CP says:
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    in a 1/2 ppr which two to start out of:

    sutton, hines, j. robinson, singletary, robby anderson, corey davis

    thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hines and Robinson for me

Comments are closed.