Fryer or Skunk, Week 5: Catching Coutees

Back in kindergarten I was a real ladies donkey. All the other little donkeys were worried about catching cooties, but not ole Donkey Teeth. Your boy was busy scheduling play dates with all the kindergarten hotties; there was little time to worry about contracting the cooties, in fact, Donkey Teeth wanted those cooties.

• Dalvin Cook – He disappointed in prime-time Thursday night, but he was coming off an injury on a short week and limited by a pitch count. Cook up an offer for Dalvin and see if his owner’s hungry.
• T.J. Yeldon – Leo Fournette’s hamstrings are similar to Will Fuller’s hamstrings except the strings are paired with 4 week old Krakus ham. Don’t eat 4 week old Krakus ham, do buy TJ Yeldon.
• Nick Chubb – Watching Nick’s highlights gives me major Chubb. If he ever gets the workload boost he deserves, I may need to contact a doctor due to prolonged penile engorgement.
• Nyheim Hines – Bra-My and I highlighted Hines in our Rookie RB preview podcast. Hines 21 is a special sauce which should be applied immediately in all PPR leagues.
• Ronald Jones – Bra-My and I also highlighted RoJo on our Rookie RB pod. I was fading Jones hard at that time since he’s a 190 pound RB with hands worse than Jim Abbott’s. Alas, Peyton Barber has failed to do anything with the opportunity; it’s time to take a flier on Ronald.
• Taylor Gabriel – DA BEARS! Da Mitch finally woke up this week and Gabriel is quickly becoming one of his favorite targets. Expose yourself to Da Bears. Not like that! Put your pants back on and pick Gabriel up!
• Taywan Taylor – Rishard Matthews should’ve taken a page out of Vontae Davis’s playbook on how to quit a team. With Matthews and Delanie Walker now out of his way, the talented Taylor is the clear second in line for targets behind Corey Davis. And it turns out maybe the Titans aren’t quite as horrible as we thought.
• Baker Mayfield – I’d eat this Baker’s cake any day, if you know what I mean ::wink, wink::, mmmmmm cake.
• Blake Bortles – People continue to hate on Bortle Kombat and Blake continues to produce fresh fatalities against opposing fantasy teams.
• Vance McDonald – V McD stiff-arms tacklers like Brett Kavanaugh stiff-arms questions about “Boofing”. Vance also likes beer… A LOT.
• Cameron Brate – Jameis is on a mission to Make America Brate Again. OJ is banged up, and it’s no coincidence Brate immediately caught a touchdown once Jameis entered the fold.
• Tyler Kroft – Tyler Lara Kroft has made a habit of raiding Tyler Eifert’s tomb. Whenever Eifert has gone down in the past, Kroft has been useful.

• Patrick Mahomes – I know, I know, how could Donkey be recommending to sell ya holmes. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, even better than I expected when I ranked him as the #11 fantasy QB preseason and was mocked by my co-host Bra-My. But if you can sell him for a top RB or WR talent then I’m doing it all day and twice on laundry day.
• Cooper Kupp – Another dude that’s really good and I expect Coop to produce WR2 numbers moving forward even in standard leagues. I wouldn’t sell him for a DVD of his newly released adult film, Two Girls One Kupp, but if you can sell him as a WR1, or even high-end WR2 after his career game in prime-time this past Thursday night, then make the move.
• Chris Hogan – Hogan is not a hero. Hogan is a cruel villain. Feel free to drop Hogan for the flavor of the week.
• As always feel free to ask me any add/drop or trade questions in the comments. Starting this weekend I’ll be off the grid for a couple weeks on a vision quest seeking my inner Donkey, this segment will return October 23rd.