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kissing
Apparently there is some discrepancy as to what exactly a “kissing cousin” is. Am I even allowed to end a sentence with the word “is”? [Jay’s Note: Sure are!] Either way, I just did. It is what it is. Like many, I have always thought a kissing cousin was a second, or more distant, cousin in which that law allows you to bed. Contrary definitions say it is any person close enough to kiss hello upon greeting. The law dictates that one cannot marry a first cousin. Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins. Jerry Lee Lewis did too, and she was only 13 years old at the time. I’m not even going to begin to attempt to recount the number of violations to this and other related rules in The Game of Thrones. Speaking of GOT, when is that coming back? The Leftovers season two just started and I’m not really sure how to react to the first episode. Anyone else? So what band of idiots can I put together from Week 4 that would have unexpectedly gone from geek to chic and crushed any team in its path.
POS Name Points Owned
QB Kirk Cousins 21.7 6%
RB Duke Johnson 22.1 31%
RB Ronnie Hillman 17.3 34%
WR Tavon Austin 26.6 16%
WR Allen Hurns 23.1 18%
TE Coby Fleener 18.8 9%
FL Leonard Hankerson 19.3 19%
K Cairo Santos 27 2%
DST Atlanta Falcons 21 4%

Kirk Cousins – Cousins threw the ball 46 times, completing 31 for 290 yards and a touchdown. Those numbers don’t exactly jump off the page. So why is he here? He also had a one-yard touchdown run. That touchdown was enough points to give him the edge. While it was enough to get Kirk on this list, it’s not nearly enough to get me to like him. In case that wasn’t clear, with as many interceptions (4) as touchdowns on the season, I wouldn’t own this guy even if we were buddies. Kiss this Cousins!

Duke Johnson – Johnson carried the ball 8 times for just 31 yards. That’s not even 4 yards per carry. He didn’t even have a rushing touchdown. So I ask once again, why is he on this list. The Duke also had 9 catches for 85 yards and a receiving touchdown. He had 6 catches the week before, but none in the first two games. Outside of PPR leagues, I’m not sure he has much value. However I still wouldn’t mind having him on my bench to see how things shake out in Cleveland.

Ronnie Hillman – After three pretty bad games to start the season, Hillman finally amounted to more than a hillman of beans. To say that the running back situation in Denver has been pathetic would be understatement. However, last week Hillman was able to rush for 103 yards on 11 carries and find the end zone once. That’s 9.36 yards per carry! Or is it? Before anyone starts geeking out over these numbers there’s an important fact that needs to be mentioned. Among those 11 carries includes a 72-yard touchdown run. I don’t want to take anything away from such a run, but big plays like that often have a way of skewing the game stats. Take away that run and you’re looking at a 10 carry, 31-yard game. Not very impressive. Right now I’d want nothing to do with a Denver running back, but if Hillman were on the wire, I’d probably stash him because that’s what I do.

Tavon Austin – Austin caught 6 of 7 targets for 96 yards and 2 touchdowns. I’ll take those numbers any week from my wide receiver. However I don’t think Tavon will be able to reproduce those numbers with any consistency. Through the first four games he is averaging 5 targets and 3.5 receptions per game. Those are hardly numbers to get excited about. I guess what I am saying is that if Austin is on the waiver wire and I am in your league, you won’t have to worry about me putting in a claim.

Allen Hurns – After Allen Robinson, Hurns is the “goto” receiver in Jacksonville. And with 314 yards receiving on the season, he is in the top 15, with all but two players ahead of him having more targets. In just 30 targets “Catchman” Hurns has 22 receptions to combine for those 314 yards. DeAndre Hopkins has 60 targets, twice as many as Allen, but only 95 more yards (409). This past week he had 11 receptions for 116 yards and a touchdown. Now Hurns is a guy I see myself adding to my bench.

Coby Fleener – When Dwayne Allen is out I really like Fleener. And when Andrew Luck is playing, I like him even more. This past Sunday Fleener caught 9 of 12 targets for 83 yards and a score. And he did it with Matt Hasselbeck throwing the ball. Monitor Allen’s status. If he’s out, Fleener Fleener chicken deener. Throw in Luck and you have a weener. That is supposed to be someone with a German-link accent saying “winner”.

Leonard Hankerson – First I owe this man an apology. Two weeks ago he made this list and I said I had no desire to consider him. I stand corrected. With Hank the Tank catching passes in Atlanta, no one gives a rat’s astronaut about Roddy White. And with Julio Jones drawing heavy coverage, the opportunity is there. He’s going to be a hot ticket item this week, so get your FAAB bids in.

Cairo Santos – I rarely have anything to say about kickers, but if I can’t find a few words to say about a place kicker that kicked 7 field goals in one game, then I need to get a better vocabulary. With 27 points, Santos outpointed every offensive player not named Devonta Freeman. It’s up, and it’s good. Times seven.

Atlanta Falcons DST – It was a great week by the Falcons DST, but when it comes to a DST, I never get attached.

The players above combined for 196.9 last week, and while that’s not quite the 200+ points the teams of the past two weeks have scored, I firmly believe that would have been enough to beat any team in your RCL. Speaking of RCL’s, I am currently sitting in 1st with a 4-0 record in the Razzball Writer’s League…

Note: I successfully picked up both Hurns and Hankerson in my primary personal league.

 

 

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