Handcuff Report, Week 2: Tinder For Handcuffs

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I’m too old and married to have ever used Tinder. I hear the younger guys in my office quite often comparing conquests and potential… ummmm partners. Working at a company with a bunch of 20-something males, the topic comes up with some regularity. I like to think it’s sort of like the wavier wire for skanks, male and female alike. No worries peeps, ain’t no shame in being a super hoe! This is a judgement free zone, well unless you’re this guy. Then I ‘m judging the heck out of you. Anyway, much like the wavier wire you take to Tinder to fill a void missing from your life. You might be looking for a one night stand or a one week plug-in. [Jay’s Note: Isn’t that a type of air freshener? That’s a type of air freshener…] Maybe a potential suitor flashes a little skin to get your mind racing with possibilities. The same way a player buried on the depth chart can come in and flash a little potential. We’re all looking for something new, shiny, and better than what we have. With this in mind randy fantasy owners took to the wavier wire Monday and Tuesday looking for that potential stud running back to make their dreams come true. I just hope for you Tinder-roni’s that your potential hook-ups offer more than this week’s hot pickup Justin Forsett.

A lot has gone wrong for Forsett to be in this position. We all know what happened with the player formally employed as the Baltimore Ravens lead back. Well unless you live under a rock in a far corner of the earth. The more important narrative to Forsett’s value is the career hara kiri of Nick Cappozzi heart throb Bernard Pierce. After another dog poop like performance in week one from the man affectionately known as “This Guy Sucks” by many a fantasy owner. Going into last night Forsett found himself being touted as the starting RB of your Baltimore Ravens. We later found out he wasn’t.  My take on Forsett is this, he’s a JAG with what we thought was a good opportunity. Though his career YPC numbers aren’t bad, and he certainly has upside as a receiver, he’s still a 29 year old journeyman on his 4th team in four years. Guys like that typically don’t have great seasons at the running back position. This isn’t baseball gentleman and five ladies (thanks for the extra female reader Jennifer). Much of last week’s breakout was based on Pierce being taught a lesson, and I still think Pierce is the more ownable option going forward, and Thursday night’s game only further solidified my position. I’m still watching Lorenzo Taliaferro like a cyclops with a monocle, and think he may not be a bad stash going forward in 16 + team leagues and dynasty formats. Especially if both Pierce and Forsett fall flat in the coming weeks. With all of this said, Pierce came out on Thursday Night Football and handled the majority of carries (22/ 96 yards) as both he and Forsett (8/56) did very little until late in the fourth where they padded their stats. Forsett was more involved in the passing game for what it’s worth, catching 4 passes for 16 yards. The moral of this story is that sometimes that hottie on Tinder has the clap, and sometimes that hot wavier wire pick up is crap.

Knowshon Moreno – Man I should have known not to bet against the son of a member of 5% nation. I wonder if Knowshon’s dad knows Rakim? Yeah I know who cares. So back to football. Moreno went off going 24/134/1 and looking every bit the unstoppable force he was early last season for Denver. He’s yielding passing down duties to Lamar Miller, but Knowshon looked like a man possessed as he flatten the Patriots D time after time. If he’s on your wire grab him and he’ll be a high upside RB2 in all formats against Buffalo this week. Due to Miami’s lack of weapons in the passing game, I think there’s more than enough touches to go around to make both Moreno and Miller viable options going forward.

Terrance West – With Ben Tate out for at least week 2, West looks like a Handcuff fill in with a bullet. I could see T-West being relevant going forward, even if and when Tate returns. Let’s keep in mind that Tate has had durability problems his whole career. This is going to continue to open up opportunities for West to produce solid results, similar to his 16/100 performance in week 1. Let’s hope that Isaiah Crowell goes back to being a silversmith in an 18th century New England village and leaves the goal-line carries to West. His matchup against the Saints looks pretty good on paper. As the New Orleans D yielded 123 yards on the ground to Atlanta last week.

Carlos Hyde – I know, I know this game was a blow out early, well sort of. I just really like Hyde to over take Frank Gore sooner rather than later. Sure Gore had more than double the touches, but Hyde did more with his, gaining 50 yards and scoring a TD. If Gore goes down for any length of time Hyde could morph into a fantasy stud. Hyde him on your bench for now. Pun Point!

Joique Bell – After studying Bell and Reggie Bush on Monday the contrast was pretty striking. Bush looked slow sluggish and only effective in the passing game, while Bell looked like the powerful decisive runner the Lions need to compete in bad weather division games later in the season. They each got some goal-line carries with Bell converting on one of his. To me the answer of who’s the better back couldn’t be more obvious (Ding! Ding! Ding! It’s Bell). The playing time split is pretty even right now with Joique being on the field for 16 plays and Bush for 15, but it’s only a matter of time before some part of Reggie’s body pulls up lame.

Fuzzy Handcuffs – These guys are fun, fun, fun!, Not for everyday use but good to own and fun when they’re in the mix.  We may wish for a bit more run but in truth they’re probably good the way they are, splitting time and getting the most of their opportunities. Most of these handsome devils could probably be studs if given the chance.

Standard Issue Police – Whether you’re in the back of a squad car or sitting on the corner while the Po-Po search your whip you’re going nowhere. Do you know why? Because those things are locked on your wrists with a death grip. Much like those cuffs these running backs are firmly locked into their positions. Not for a lack of ability but because the starters are firmly entrenched in their roles. These backs could have value on any given week but more than likely you’ll need an injury to make these guys startable.

Duct Tape Cuffs – These are of the homemade variety you’ll use them in a pinch (i.e the starting stud goes down) but they’re always in your drawer (wavier wire) ready to step in and do their job. It may be to the bare minimum degree but they can buy you sometime.

Thanks for reading and Happy Handcuffing!

Don’t forget to send me all your Running Back Questions on twitter @ralphlifshitzbb.