Welcome back, my loyal horde, to another episode of Hit it or Quit it with yours truly. Hopefully you are all still alive and well, have not committed yourselves to some psych unit somewhere, and are not on suicide watch after that abysmal week one performance by your first round picks. I, for one, took a massive hit this week and ended up going a sad 3-3 in my leagues. Despite me telling you all last week to pick up Dion Lewis, many of you had doubts. While I, on the other hand, completely FORGOT to start him which contributed to many of my abysmal losses. Oh well, enjoy it while it lasts, because I will not be that lazy again. And for some of you, my “Black Widow Curse” obliterated any chance of you beating me in the coming weeks again. So hopefully you haven’t pulled a scrotum or taco with all of those knee-jerk reactions yet, and you will take heed before you head to the waiver wire this week. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, degenerates and ex-cons, I give you the Week 2 version of Hit it or Quit it…
Ladarius Green, TE, San Diego – You know that I love my men concussed. They are so pliable and vulnerable that way and a woman like me who loves to be in charge, well, this is just the ideal situation. Last week, it was uncertain if Green would be able to perform, and boy did he ever. Catching 5-of-6 targets for 74 yards and a touchdown, Green showed no signs of performance anxiety coming off of the concussion. He showed decent speed and swatted off swarms of defensemen like a bunch of hood-rat groupies. With Antonio Gates still suspended, you could do a lot worse than Green and is a must add in all formats and should be your HBIC in the Tight End area Week 2 against the Bungals… err, Bengals. At just 20% owned in most leagues, lube this one up and Hit it.
Michael Floyd, WR, Arizona – Yeah, I drafted him in like the bazillionth round because I am a girl who understands the importance of receiving (bad-um-tsss), but he is mostly a stash on my bench as he should be with most of you until his role is more defined. He played nine snaps this past week and was targeted only once, offering up a measly 2.30 fantasy points for most leagues. We do have to remember that Floyd is coming off of a pretty gnarly finger injury (they were dislocated and went into the palm of his hand), so the Cards could just be limiting him to see how he feels, but for now, he is still working behind Larry Fitzgerald and John Brown. Floyd may just be too unreliable to keep stashed for much longer, especially with some of the other talent emerging. I may hold onto him for another few weeks and see what he can do for me, but I may be giving him the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech sooner rather than later. Quit it.
Donte Moncrief, WR, Indianapolis – Are you a T.Y. Hilton owner who is on the verge of dropping a toaster in the bathtub with you? Does your wife or significant other do periodic bed checks to make sure you are still breathing? If the answer is yes, then you are in luck! T.Y. left you for the comfort of his couch thanks to his bruised knee, but that just opened the door for you to get a little on the side with good old Donte. Catching 6-of-11 targets for 46 yards and a touchdown, Moncrief is looking like he could be the one to lead Indy in looks against the Jets in Week 2 and is considered the likely starter opposite Andre Johnson at this point, especially if Hilton doesn’t return for a while. The downside to this is that Moncrief will be going up against Darrelle Revis (though Johnson will be stuck on Revis island for the most part, hopefully), but there is some nice upside to this. So, while your main boo is sitting at home resting, get a little on the side without the help of Ashley Madison and Hit it.
Denard Robinson, RB, Jacksonville – I only put him on here because I realized how TE and WR heavy this week’s article was, and I like a little diversity. The only surprising thing about this is that Robinson is owned in 11% of most leagues, which is a lot bigger number than I anticipated. That means one of two things, either some people have no idea how to play fantasy football or their drafts were slimmer pickin’s than the bar at 3 AM. Sure, Robinson was the clear number 2 back in Week 1 and he pretty much had the entire second half to himself, but he is not going to give you what you need unless Yeldon falls victim to my Black Widow Curse. Avoid this one like a Vegas crack… well, anything. Quit it.
Tyler Lockett, WR, Seattle – I am sure that Tehol Beddict is going to fall even more in love with me for this pick (because anything Seahawks makes Tehol’s pants tight), but I have to give credit where credit is due (even if it is a team who should run instead of throw). Lockett caught 4-of-4 targets for 34 yards, busted out a 57-yard punt return for a touchdown and a 35-yard kick return on special teams. Sure, the offense was limper than Roethisberger’s d*ck at a Golden Girls reunion, but Lockett still found ways to make plays and ended up getting Fantasy owners a nice 11.40 fan points in some leagues over the weekend. Sure, he needs to keep up this pace in order to pass up Jermaine Kearse on offense, but that is not completely out of the realm of possibility. Tie this one up, go all Mr. Grey on his ass, and Hit it.
There you have it, my loyal horde. My hits and quits for Week two. Hopefully, my Black Widow Curse feasted enough in Week 1 that it will take Week 2 off, but if it has taught me anything, it’s that it is never satisfied. So, for now, make sure you all follow me on Twitter @Soxfan012 for all of my general observations, Fantasy updates, and Black Widow Curse status…