I should’ve known it was black magic.  Didn’t even need the woman to be involved.  A Cleveland Browns passing offense that passes the eye test?  Not possible they said.  A QB that could withstand the pressure of playing behind a bad offensive line?  ‘I’m incredulous’ said those who use the word ‘incredulous’ and actually know what it means.  I blame Carlos Santana.  Hey, there’s a catcher from the Indians named that so it’s apropos, people.  But it happened for a couple of weeks that the Browns and their passing game was saved by their quarterback being – by both the stats test and the eye test – really not that bad.  But of course it’s Cleveland and as we know, everything Browns eventually goes to Brown-town.  Brian Hoyer left the Thursday Night Football game with a knee that couldn’t have been more shredded than the hillside of a snowboard instructor in Aspen.  There’s nothing definitive as of this typing but for all intents and purposes, it didn’t look good at all and I wouldn’t be surprised if his season is over.  I take partial blame as I’ve been snake-bitten with injuries this year and actually picked Hoyer up to stream this week in one of my leagues.  Mea culpa.  Moving forward, the skill position players are gonna have to learn what it means to go from good to bad and how to cope.  The parts there are still good, but they lost a little luster for me tonight knowing it’s going to take a trade – unlikely – or a free agent pickup – possible? – to fix this mess.  And just when I was about to say Cleveland Rocks…in other 2013 Fantasy Football news…

Brandon WeedenIs Hoyer’s replacement.  He was replaced by Hoyer a couple of weeks ago.  That’s all you need to know.

Josh Freeman – Was released by the Bucs.  He’s not great but he’s better than Weeden.  That’s all the Browns management needs to know.  BTW, Bucs management, I’m very good at denigrating useful assets.  I’ll submit my cover letter and resume for a position at your headquarters shortly.  Can I tele-commute?  I have issues with states that produce bands like Creed.

EJ ManuelSuffered a similar fate to Hoyer and is probably the better recognized name to start off a blog with for search engine purposes.  But I’m a rebel, I do as I please.  You just got ‘Hoyer Donde Va?’ stuck in your head and just wouldn’t let it go, right?  I’d never cheat you like that, imaginary reader!  BTW, what’s a good working title for this EJ business?  Where’s the owner’s Manuel?  Manuel Overdrive?  Help me, help you.  For cereals, it’s being called a knee sprain but there’s no word yet on the severity of it.  It might require amputation.  But that’s just one twitter source.

Willis McGahee – The old man just doesn’t quit.  With a 26/72/1 line, maybe he should?  McGreyhe needs to buy some Just For Men; he should hit up Emmit Smith and see if he gets any for free.  For serious though, it’s hard to gauge how good/bad McGahee would’ve been tonight because I don’t think we saw the Browns real offense.  Then again, given how bad that injury to Hoyer looked, maybe we did.  Frowny face.

Robert WoodsTonight literally went wrong in every facet for how I saw things playing out.  I thought Haden would’ve been draped all over Stevie Johnson for the night and left Robert to roam free in the Woods.  Instead, SJ left about mid-way and Woods had to contend with Joe head on for the rest of the night.  The end line of 5/64 was aight but not why I ranked him as a solid WR3 start this week, fo shizzle.

Josh GordonSomehow, Weeden figured out that if you throw it to Gordon, he’d be able to catch it.  Even if the throw was poor and he has to one hand juggle it.  Like he did tonight.  Finished the night with a 4/86/1 line and a note from a secret admirer (Hint: I signed it…in my own blood…no YOU’RE disgusting and creepy!)

CJ SpillerNow I’m not doing this to say I was right.  But I’ll put the stats to you like this.  Seven rushes for 12 yards.  One rush for 54 yards and a TD.  Add them up together and tell me if saying to sit Spiller was really all that of a crazy idea, especially considering how the season has started.

Zach Sudfeld – Was dropped by the Pats on Thursday.  He still beats them in drops on the year, though.

Jordan CameronMy predictions for a Hoyer-led offense included at least 22 touchdowns for Cameron on the night and roughly 1007.2 receiving yards (give or take a tenth of a decimal; it’s not an exact science, people) but unfortunately, Jordan got Weedenwhacked.  Still like ROS, which makes me sound like Rachel from Friends but my nips aren’t as glorious.

Jeff Tuel – I don’t know who this guy is.  Looks like the college kid that bagged my groceries last week and put the eggs on the bottom based on his espn pic.  You dumb SOB and you did it without a rubber band.  Amateurs!  Whatever, there’s nothing to talk about here so I’ll just give you my response to a Tweet about a joke.

Cleveland Defense – I called them the #1 defense for the week and guess what?  Go look at your defensive scoring leaders for the week, snitches!  Yeah!  Crap, week’s not over.  I blame Obama.

Daryl RichardsonWoah, woah, Joey-inflected ‘WOAH’ here.  D-Rich don’t play the TNF this week!  I know, I know, just pointing out that – per his twitter – Daryl won’t be starting this week for the Rams.  So we’ll just have to figure out which of his brother Daryls are before we proceed.  Yeah, even in the deepest of leagues, you gotta prolly sit these guys.  I don’t care how cheap they are on Stubhub, this is decidedly not the tickets to the greatest show on turf I thought I’d bought.

Fred Jackson – Fjax can thank the refs for placing the ball inside the five yard line twice for his two TD rushes on PI calls.  Considering I told many to start him over Spiller this week, I guess I should thank them too.  Hey, if I can’t claim an awesome CJ call, I’ll consider this the Fantasy God’s way of saying ‘I’m a jerk…here’s a mulligan’.

Fantasy Revelations Podcast – I did said podcast last night after the game with @Revel_Nathan and @Revel_Adam.  At one point, I took off my  pants.  Bonus points for the person who listens and can hear the sound of them sliding off and can point out the minute marker when it happens!

  1. Giant Gigantes says:
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    Yo sky,
    I feel my team has the best depth in this 12 teamer but sitting at 1-3 what move should I be looking to make?
    Standard 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, Flex
    Vick, RG3
    Garçon, Boldin, Gordon, Amendola
    Murray, Wilson, GOB, Miller, J Bell, L Bell
    Cameron

    • Giant Gigantes says:
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      @Giant Gigantes: is any WR and GOB enough for MegaTron?

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @Giant Gigantes: Two for ones when you’re 1-3 don’t usually help you. I wouldn’t make a trade like that, especially with a flex position.

        You’ve run into some bad luck. That’s a very solid squad. I strongly encourage no panic moves at this time.

  2. Harris says:
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    Nice call on Cleveland!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Harris: Internet high-five!

  3. jared says:
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    Bernard pierce, Marcel reese or rashard Jennings in order for flex spot .5 ppr league. Thanks

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @jared: We don’t know enough about DMC or the Raiders backfield injuries to say much right now. I have to say Pierce by default for that reason.

  4. Grant says:
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    I streamed Cleveland defense, wasn’t really paying attention to the game, and when I saw the score I was worried. But still managed to put up 26 points in my ESPN league, probably wll finish 1 or 2 this week.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Grant: I missed the first 5 minutes of the game and was confused when I saw Buffalo went was up 7-0 with only 3 yards of offense to their name. Twas a weird night. Defense performed well and it could’ve been better if Weeden hadn’t been out there.

  5. Jay

    jaywrong says:
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    How dare you make fun of Brian Hoyer’s injury! The man has a family, or children maybe. Something like that.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @jaywrong: I agree. I mean, the mad got injured for god sakes.

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @jaywrong: You forgot the cuss words! Hoyer Locker, starring Jeremy Renner

  6. Zandy says:
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    Thanks for McGahee ;) worked out perfectly. Now time to sell high on the McGeezer

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Zandy: Ha, well I wouldn’t call it perfect but glad I could help. Selling makes sense to me.

      • Zandy says:
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        @Sky: you like roddy white or Andre Johnson Ros std?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Roddy but its close

  7. the imp says:
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    Great jokes. Like the “ROS” and Obama crack with the DST rankings for the week were my favorites. If only the effects of the shutdown were so painless.
    I’m the Foster owner and Tate was just dropped. He’d be my 4th RB behind Foster/Forte/MJD and I’d have to drop Ellington to get him (4 RB limit, PPR). Is Tate in the land of pure handcuff for us (if so he’ll probably sit on waivers until the bye weeks pass) or would you try to go grab him?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      admit it, you didn’t like the ROS joke. Just the nips. But thanks!

      Problem is, in a PPR I like Ellington more than Tate the rest of the way. Think he’s the starter there before long.

      • the imp says:
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        @Sky: Hah re: ROS…you know you audience.

        Glad to hear you like Ellington…if he ends up as more than a bye week Broski, then he is worth the hold…his floor is developing nicely and that is with only a 30:70 timeshare to date…but I worry about his ceiling because (a) he is only 200 pounds and (b) he plays for the Cardinals (no rushing TDs yet).

        I know he has only 11 carries, but does it look like he could run between the tackles or get goal line work?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          The image was really more for me than it was anyone else, FWIW…

          Mmm, that’s tough to say. If you’d asked me that about Giovani Bernard before the season, I would’ve said no and yet there he is toting the rock. I think we need to see how the Cards handle him if/when Mendy breaks down. I think Tate has the higher floor at this point but I don’t think you want floor from your RB4.

          • the imp says:
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            @Sky: I agree with the philosophy that RB4 should have upside. I also hear you on Giovanni vs. Ellington…time will tell…that would be a nice outcome. Of course, I only fully buy that Ellington has more upside than Tate if I ignore the potential for injuries, but the feared changing of the guard is not in the works. Thanks for the discussion. Have a good one.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              No prob and you too!

  8. YoBro says:
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    Trade on the table, getting Mr. Reggie Wayne. Been offered him for Amendola or Edleman and Pead. Who should I give up?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Hrm, don’t really like either. Think ‘dola and Edelman will be good PPR guys ROS. If I’m choosing one, though, it’d have to be the Edelman side

      • YoBro says:
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        @Sky:
        Non PPR, does that change your mind. Eddy was solid even with Dola playing infact it was his best game however it’s easy to see his production go down with both Gronk and Dola returning. Add to the mess that Dola’s too injury prone. #head-scratcher #clueless #jimmyfallon #iwannabelikemike #fearthechop #hadtothrowthatinthere #toomanyhastag #cantstop #mileycyrus #reckingball

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          I’m not a lacy fan so it doesn’t change anything for me. You’re a hashtag machine! #hashtag

  9. Shake N Bacon says:
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    Well I’m glad I dropped Hoyer and picked up Pryor last minute yesterday. I didn’t watch the game last night, but when I checked the score at the end of the night and saw how high scoring it was, I got pissed. Then saw that Hoyer only had 4 throws…I gots lucky!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I started him in a league so…I didn’t!

      • Shake N Bacon says:
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        @Sky: If it makes you feel better, your QB rankings swayed me to pick up Pryor and drop Hoyer for this week.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          My cold, blackened heart is given a slight twinge of a pulse by that. Thank you!

  10. pakestwo says:
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    Hey Sky,

    Can you tell me who won each of these trades please. 2 keeper league-12 Team espn standard

    A) Spiller for Moreno and Fitz

    B) D. Martin, D. Bowe for DT and CJY2K

    C) L. Miller, Amendola, Tate for Lacy, MJD, Jacquizz

    My Lineup looks like this now:

    QB-Vick
    Rb-Martin
    Rb-Spiller
    Wr-Amendola
    Wr-Bowe, Hartline, Hopkins
    Flex-Miller
    TE-Gronk

    Thanks!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I’d do A there but B isn’t too shabby either.

      • @Sky:

        A. Spiller side
        B. DT side
        C. Miller side

  11. PPR.
    Hear anything on Marcel Reece? I picked up Jennings to stream for D-Mart’s bye. My other option is Lamar Miller vs Ravens who are top 7 vs the run.

    I figure if Jennings is splitting 50/50 with Reece, I’ll probably go Lamar because he’s more of a 60/40 guy.

    • @James R: I also have Joique. You have him ranked pretty high….hmmm..

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Like the matchup and he’s still a part of his team’s offense. Predicting what an RB1 is going to look like for this week is just nasty.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ugh, tough choices. I haven’t heard much on Reece so far other than he’s back practicing, which is more than DMC has done but he’s also not someone I’d be willing to rule out. If the schedule doesn’t permit to wait on both, I’ll say Lamar just for known touches.

      • Would you advocate having the sack to start 2 Rbs from the same offense Bush/Bell vs Bush/Miller?

        • I mean considering you have Lamar at 32, and Joique at 15 for PPR rankings this week…

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Miller will have guaranteed touches but Bell is still a part of his team/offense and has a better matchup. Think there’ll be points to go around for both backs to be healthy starts.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          I have Lamar behind Bell so maybe we both have the sack.

          • @Sky: I’m goin’ for it with Bush/Bell. The over/under is 55. Even if the Lions are playing from behind, both backs are receiving targets.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              exactly

          • @Sky: I’m going for it with Bush/Bell. The over/under is 55 and even if the Lions are behind, both backs will remain receiving targets.

            • Oh. Ditto.

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                Who are you, Patrick Swayze?

                • Patrick James Swayze Rolfe IV

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    Ha! I now have a very messed up image of that clay spinning wheel scene…

  12. Principle Blackman says:
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    It all depends on what kind of pants you were wearing, Sky. Sweatpants? Parachute pants? tear-aways?

    I am lucky that I was able to trade Hoyer for Ryan Mathews before last nights game, in my 2QB league. I usually have the exact opposite luck in those situations.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      They were unbuttoned jorts…

      The Hoyer Destroyer is my fantasy team’s nickname this week.

  13. Christina Danza says:
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    Have an issue in my keeper 1 PPR league. I have Giovanni Bernard and Danny Woodhead as my two Flex worthy RB’s and looking to trade for a TE or WR1/2 type to replace my WR3 in Nicks. Would you consider both top 20 PPR RB options RoS?

    I’ve tried to trade Giovanni for the Marques Colstons, Randall Cobbs, and Pierre Garcons of the world, do you think that tier of WR is enough for the keeper value?

    I’ve tried to trade Danny Woodhead for the Cecil Shorts, Josh Gordons, and Antonio Browns but no one sees him as a starter in our PPR league, so I’m more inclined to have the best backup RB out there.

    Question is: how high of ranked WR’s or TE’s would be fair for either one of Gio or Danny Woodhead?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I wouldn’t say Woodhead is but definitely Gio-B.

      It really should be. If you’re not getting that in return, either the owners are playing hardball or they just don’t need Gio on their team.

      Woodhead is a hard sell without a couple more weeks of production. In the end, he’s a weekly flex play and a great RB4 to have on your bench when you need him but I don’t think his trade value is high enough for you to try and move him.

      Gio in a keeper should warrant serious WR2 value consideration. I think you just need to let the season develop a bit more; don’t undersell your assets.

  14. I just pooed says:
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    Yo – PPR

    Amendola (if he starts) or Torrey Smith?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      ‘dola; I have him ranked low right now just waiting for news but I think he has a nice comeback game.

  15. tim says:
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    looks like Ridley might not play..not at practice this morning….
    should I pick up Blount or bolden to play at Flex?
    I was going to start Nicks or Joique bell…….
    Pats use RB a ton..just not sure what to do

    Thanks

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      If he’s healthy I still like Bolden there but Blount is the safer pickup.

  16. Clint (aka Pablo Death) says:
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    Any gut feelings on whether the Sudfeld drop means I can finally get excited to be Gronkalicious this weekend?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Sudfeld was playing special teams so I don’t have faith. You might be Gronky punched for another week

  17. Dave says:
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    Half PPR who’s the better pickup with Ridley probably out Blount or Bolden?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Depends entirely on the health of Bolden. If he’s a full go in practice I like him more. Blount is the safer choice

      • Dave says:
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        @Sky: He’s been “limited” all week and will probably be questionable just like the Patriots always do with any semi injured player… I like his upside more too

        So I should wait till he’s announced active on Sunday to decide? Don’t know if I can someone else might get him