The Arizona Cardinals must’ve got a clean bill of health from their last visit to the clinic. So clean, they went out of there way to avoid Michael Crabtree every time he caught the ball. Michael went for 72 yards and two touchdowns on 5 receptions during a night in which I saw more fumbled attempts at wrapping up than a new server at Taco Bell. Every pass Crabtree caught should’ve gone for 3 to maybe 7 yards and instead usually went for 15 or 20. In fact on 3rd and 23, he managed to turn a 5 yard route into 22. As a fantasy football writer, I’m just thankful there was someone to talk about tonight as a lead. I mean, this match-up wasn’t exactly the Saints vs the Broncos on paper. Instead of complaining, I’ll just be thankful the Cards went with the Matador defense against Michael Crab legs. I really wasn’t looking forward to squeezing over 50 words out of Frank Gore and his 66 total yards. Overall, tonight’s game was supposed to be a defensive matchup. Instead we were treated to an out of sync defense paired with a terrible offense – more on that later – against a strong defense and a boring offense that took advantage of said out of sync defense. I’ll let you figure out who was who in that last sentence on your own. It’s the only way to build suspense after that game! In other fantasy football news…
Randy Moss – One target, one reception, one touchdown on a play that should’ve been stopped after 10 yards and somehow went for 47. Seriously, look at that footage. The highlight of the play for me was Gruden saying how it looked like the 1999 Moss out there. Personally don’t remember Randy being that slow, Jon, but you get paid the big bucks for this so what the fluffernutter do I know? Despite the name, that last link is kid-safe, btw. Unless your kid has diabetes, of course. Yeah, I’m way off topic now but what do you expect? I’ve already covered the three highlights of the game and I’ve barely written a post! Oh and if I see ‘should I pick up Moss’ in the comments, don’t be offended. I only typed ‘Haha’ because I thought you were being sarcastic.
Alex Smith – Don’t fall in love with the end line: 18/19 232 and 3 touchdowns. Why? Well, I just showed you a play in the Moss blurb that was 5 yards Alex, 3 yards Moss and 34 yards bad tackling. You do the math. Smith threw plenty of short routes, his receivers caught the ball and made the plays bigger than they should’ve been. Have I answered your ‘should I drop ____ for Alex’ question already? Sure hope so!
Larry Fitzgerald – Had a concussion scare early on in the game but finished with a respectable 5 receptions for 52 yards on a night where the Cardinals offense looked like it was churning butter while in a jar of molasses. That was a really weird visual. Am I the only one that pictured an Amish girl doing that? Rumspringa! For what it’s worth, he had 11 targets. For why that’s not worth much to you right now, his quarterback is Skelton.
Andre Roberts – Also had 11 targets but gave a 7 rec, 65 night with it. He’s having a great under the radar season, currently outpacing Fitz in fantasy points in both standard and PPR, albeit the margin is small. Almost as small as the window of opportunity that Cardinals line gives their quarterbacks to throw the ball!
John Skelton – Speaking of quarterbacks…hrm, I know it says in the box score Sketon is a QB but I have to disagree. I’ll put it to you this way: it’s a two QB, 14 team league…do you go with Skelton or Blaine Gabbert? Exactly. Not all of tonight is John’s fault. That o-line did nothing and San Fran’s defense is one of the best in the league. It was the unstoppable force vs the extremely moveable object out there all night. Wanna know what was John’s fault all night? Inaccuracy and putting his receivers in harm’s way with high throws over the middle and the inability to read the defense like when Early Doucet got taken out. All of this is a firm reminder that – and trust me when I say I’m surprised to type this – the Cards probably can’t wait until Kevin Kolb comes back. Don’t believe me? Go check his stat line. Guy was solid before he went down. Of course, it says a lot about what kind of QB you are when you get blurb-jacked by Kolb and Gabbert. Are we done talking about Skelton? Yes, yes we are.
LaRod Stephens-Howling – If I told you before the week that LaRod would outscore Jamaal Charles this week you would’ve laughed in my face. For which you would’ve rued the day. Rued it I say! LSH couldn’t get anything going after a strong performance in Minnesota. Only 6 yards on 8 carries but did chip in 3 receptions for 32 yards. What you can take away from this is William Powell did not touch the ball after LSH’s second start on the year. Looks like Howling III will be the main feature in Arizona’s backfield next Sunday vs Green Bay…but hopefully with improved special effects.
Kendall Hunter – Little shout out for a decent night from Hunter: 43 yards on 10 carries to go with a catch for 6. Just a firm reminder if Gore can’t stay healthy, San Fran can and will still run the ball. With bye weeks winding down, the need for backup TEs and such has run it’s course. Go grab a Kendall before it catches fire. See that was a play on words about the Amazon Kindle Fire but you missed it. Yeah, not your fault. That analogy was like Skelton’s tonight: high and off the mark.