The longest week of the longest year in human history is finally behind us. I was in charge of running the electoral map screen thingy here at Razzball, so I’ve only slept six hours this week. There was major controversy when I projected Florida for Joe Exotic late Tuesday night, but I’m standing by that call. Now we’re all ready to move past the circus and on to the electoral main event: Sexiest Man on Earth voting. Since February I’ve been campaigning long and hard and sweaty for Kyler Murray, who delivered against the Dolphins to the tune of 21/26 for 283 yards, 11 carries for 106 yards, 3 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing touchdown—he now has 16 passing touchdowns and 8 rushing touchdowns on the season. I’m not the only one in love with Kyler, our Pigskinonator projections robot has been all over him too. In fact, the Pig-bot projected the young speedster as it’s #1 fantasy QB for week 9, three spots ahead of the expert consensus. The bot is dialed in with bacon grease and humming at midseason form. Which makes sense since it’s midseason. If you haven’t yet, sign up for the free trial of all our tools and test out Pigskinonator for yourself. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:
David Montgomery – 14 carries for 30 yards, 3 catches for 12 yards. Da Bears kept da clothes on Full Monty again this week. To give an idea of just how bad the Chicago offense can be: their leading rusher in the first half of this game was linebacker Barkavious Mingo who ran for 11 yards on a punt fake. Montgomery did leave in the 4th quarter with a concussion and was replaced by Ryan Nall (4 catches for 35 yards and his 1st touchdown) and Cordarrelle Patterson (3 carries for 13 yards). I wouldn’t touch either, even with your team.
Jimmy Graham – 6 catches for 55 yards and his 5th touchdown. Hands off Jimmy! Don’t touch Jimmy!
A.J. Brown – 4 catches for 101 yards and his 6th touchdown. And that’s six touchdowns in the last five weeks since returning form injury. Brownie belongs in the elite fantasy wide receiver conversation, probably for the next 8 years or so. Mmmm, brownie.
Jonnu Smith – 2 catches for 32 yards and his 6th touchdown. After a three game drought, Prince Jonnu found touchdown kingdom once again. Don’t expect consistency, Smith is a boom or bust TE option.
Russell Wilson – 28/41 for 390 yards, 2 carries for 5 yards, 2 passing touchdowns, his 1st rushing touchdown and 2 interceptions—he now has 28 passing touchdowns on the year. Truth is, Russ was cooking like my drunk Aunt Muriel in this game and he still put up huge fantasy numbers.
Tyler Lockett – 4 catches for 40 yards. Lockett will return to Russ’s kitchen soon. Now’s a great time to try buying low after consecutive subpar performances. Use our free trade analyzer to help craft the perfect deal.
D.K. Metcalf – 7 catches for 108 yards and his 8th touchdown. He’s another strong candidate in the race for Sexiest Man on Earth.
DeeJay Dallas – 7 carries for 31 yards, 2 catches for 8 yards and his 3rd touchdown. I said it last week: this Chris Carson (foot) injury was downplayed by Petey Sunshine, but you can’t trust Sneaky Pete. Carson could be back next week, or he could miss another week or two or three; if he does miss more time, DeeJay should continue to be a solid RB2.
Josh Allen – 31/38 for 415 yards, 7 carries for 14 yards, 3 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing touchdown—he now has 19 passing touchdowns and 5 rushing touchdowns on the year. Consistency isn’t his middle name. I mean, consistency would be a pretty silly name wouldn’t it?
Stefon Diggs – 9 catches for 118 yards. My Mannnnnnnn. It’s been a few days since I mentioned how much I liked Diggs coming into this year.
Gabriel Davis – 4 catches for 70 yards and his 3rd touchdown. He’s not redraft relevant except in the deepest leagues, but Gabriel is coming up on Solsbury Hill in dynasty leagues.
Zack Moss – 9 carries for 18 yards, 2 catches for 30 yards and his 4th touchdown. Maybe it’s premature to say I told ya so, but I’ve said many times that Moss is going to overtake Devin Singletary (2 carries for 1 yard, 3 catches for 33 yards) as the top RB in Buffalo.
Lamar Jackson – 19/23 for 170 yards, 13 carries for 58 yards and his 3rd rushing touchdown. I know we’ve jokingly called him a running back but it’s starting to feel like I’m starting a running back in my QB slot. Which…isn’t good. The tough schedule continues thru week 12 but if you have a playoff spot locked up then LamJack could be a nice acquisition.
J.K. Dobbins – 12 carries for 30 yards, 2 catches for 5 yards. This was not the breakout follow through I was hoping for. Hey Harbaugh, do we really have to do this Gus Edwards (11 carries for 23 yards, 2 catches for 11 yards and his 3rd touchdown) thing?
Marquise Brown – 3 catches for 38 yards. That’s it, I’m cancelling my vacation to Hollywood!
Jonathan Taylor – 6 carries for 27 yards, 2 catches for 7 yards and his 4th touchdown. Taylor was once again out-touched by Jordan Wilkins (11 carries for 39 yards, 2 catches for -1 yards) but at least the rookie found the end zone this week. I’m ready to triple down on the kid from Home Improvement.
Brandin Cooks – 3 catches for 83 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Cooks now has touchdowns in three of the past four games, as well as nine targets each of the last three games and 12 targets in the game before that. Plus he made a great stew on Saturday. Cooks is back on the WR2 radar.
Will Fuller – 5 catches for 100 yards and his 6th touchdown. And that’s six straight games with a touchdown AND six straight games without a hamstring injury! He continues to be a WR1 while healthy.
David Johnson – 2 carries for 16 yards before leaving in the first quarter with a concussion. My fault again, guys. I traded for David Johnson last week. If DJ gets stuck in the protocol the Texans will turn the record slinging over to their backup DJ, Duke Johnson (16 carries for 41 yards, 4 catches for 32 yards and his 1st touchdown).
Jake Luton – 26/38 for 304 yards, 1 carry for 13 yards with his 1st career passing touchdown, rushing touchdown and interception. The Jaguars’ other 6th round QB did lead them on a nice comeback, but where’s the facial hair? Hopefully The Stache will bring the facial hair back next week.
D.J. Chark – 7 catches for 146 and his 4th touchdown. Get to da bomb shelter, Charknado is coming! This was his first TD since October 4th, I guess having a healthy QB does matter.
James Robinson – 25 carries for 99 yards and his 7th touchdown. If you would’ve told me in July that someone named James Robinson would be getting 20+ carries while consistently producing double the fantasy production of Zeke Elliott, then I would’ve asked you to share those magic mushrooms with me.
Christian McCaffrey – 18 carries for 69 yards (nice), 10 catches for 82 yards and his 5th and 6th touchdowns. Welcome back, to that same old place you laughed about. It’s confirmed, Mike Davis (1 carry for 3 yards, 5 catches for 34 yards) is indeed chopped liver. EDIT: CMC left on the next to last play of them game with a rib injury (or shoulder?), maybe Davis isn’t chopped liver.
D.J. Moore – 2 catches for 18 yards. 3 targets?! WTF! There’s more than three Targets in my town! On even has a Pizza Hut inside. Moore is suddenly looking like a risky WR3.
Curtis Samuel – 9 catches for 105 yards, 3 carries for 13 yards and his 4th touchdown. And that makes four touchdowns in the last three weeks. Wow, nine targets too. Who do I have touch and squeeze to get DJ nine targets?
Patrick Mahomes – 30/45 for 372 yards and 4 passing touchdowns—he now has 25 passing touchdowns on the year. Mahomie is in the zone. After a string of mediocre fantasy lines, it just took a date with the Jets to get the ketchup flowing.
Tyreek Hill – 9 catches for 113 yards, 1 carry for 8 yards and his 9th and 10th touchdowns. Reek saw a whopping 18 targets and Travis Kelce (10 catches for 159 yards) saw 12 targets. I like how Mahomes shoves the ball down his best players’ throat like a juicy piece of steak covered in ketchup.
Clyde Edwards-Helaire – 5 carries for 14 yards, 3 catches for 20 yards and his 3rd touchdown. It wasn’t a great game script for the Clydesdale, but he still managed to gallop into the end zone. I’d be buying low on CEH this week if possible.
Le’Veon Bell – 4 carries for 8 yards, 1 catch for -5 yards. I thought there was a little too much excitement for Le’Veon when he signed with the Chiefs, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. In three games with KC he now has 16 carries, 4 targets and no touchdowns. No bueno.
Evan Engram – 5 catches for 48 yards and his 2nd touchdown. It’s happening! This is it! I’m falling for it again!
Antonio Gibson – 6 carries for 20 yards, 3 catches for 35 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Football Team only ran the ball nine times. Not very football team like.
Terry McLaurin – 7 catches for 115 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Kyle Allen (5/7 for 62 yards) left early with ankle injury but Alex Smith (24/32 for 325 yards, 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions) realized he had a high-powered race car at his disposal this time around.
Matthew Stafford – 23/32 for 211 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions—he now has 14 passing touchdowns on the year. It was an eventful week for the Staff Infection. He didn’t practice all week after a COVID scare, but suited up following his negative test Sunday morning. Then Stafford left the game with a possible concussion after a second half sack. Chase Daniel (8/13 for 94 yards, 1 touchdown and 1 interception) is the unexciting superflex add if Stafford misses time.
D’Andre Swift – 13 carries for 64 yards, 3 catches for 33 yards. It’s a predictable and annoying timeshare with Adrian Peterson (8 carries for 29 yards, 3 catches for 14 yards) who somehow saw the same amount of targets as Swift (5). Patricia’s madness knows no bounds, just wait til Bo Scarbrough gets into the mix.
T.J. Hockenson – 5 catches for 39 yards and his 5th touchdown. That makes four touchdowns in the last five games. Hock is blossoming into a man right before our eyes.
Dalvin Cook – 22 carries for 206 yards, 2 catches for 46 yards and his 12th and 13th touchdowns. That makes 13 touchdowns in only seven games for the Cook and my abacus tells me this pro-rates out to 29.7 touchdowns over 16 games. Is Cook the #1 fantasy player rest of season? I’ve consulted my magic eight ball (not cocaine) which I keep next to my abacus: “Better not tell you now.” C’mon, what kind of answer is that!?
Adam Thielen – 2 catches for 38 yards. I’ve been yelling from the top of my barn to sell Thielen for weeks, I hope you listened to the crazy donkey on the barn roof.
Justin Jefferson – 3 catches for 64 yards. He would’ve had a TD too but drew an obvious pass interference in the end zone. Call me crazy, but I’d rather have Jefferson than Thielen rest of season.
Melvin Gordon – 6 carries for 18 yards, 1 catch for 9 yards. Maybe this game can count as time served on any future DUI suspension?
Phillip Lindsay – 8 carries for 23 yards. If there was anything encouraging about this game for Lindsay owners (narrator: there wasn’t) it would be that he got three targets compared to Melvin’s one target. Gordon has been leading the receiving game out of the backfield until this week. Lindsay is the Bronco back I want to ride looking toward the future.
Jerry Jeudy – 7 catches for 125 yards and his 2nd touchdown. Judge Jeudy had a great game, but unfortunately he’ll be busy sorting thru voter fraud lawsuits for the rest of the season. Tim Patrick (4 catches for 29 yards and his 3rd touchdown) found the end zone in his return as well.
Noah Fant – 3 catches for 45 yards. Don’t You Wanna Fanta left briefly with an ankle injury and didn’t do much after his return. Remember the ankle bothered him earlier in the year so this is something to keep a close eye on.
Julio Jones – 5 catches for 54 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Uncle Julio brought the burritos to the Denver game. I wouldn’t want to be in that locker room post game.
Todd Gurley – 19 carries for 53 yards, 2 catches for 2 yards and his 9th touchdown. I’ve seen people saying the Toddfather was a sell high for a few weeks now. I get the logic, but I personally wouldn’t want to get on the Toddfather’s bad side. We know he’s connected. Also, IF he can stay healthy there’s no reason to think he won’t continue to post RB1 numbers.
Josh Jacobs – 14 carries for 65 yards, 1 catch for 3 yards and his 6th touchdown. Devontae Booker (8 carries for 68 yards and his 1st touchdown) stealing eight carries and looking good while doing it isn’t a great development for the Jinglehammer. Hopefully, this is an aberration and not a developing RBBC. I would guess aberration, but I should check the dictionary first.
Darren Waller – 5 catches for 22 yards and his 4th touchdown. Kyler’s running mate for Sexiest Man, he’s easily the sexiest tight end. No offense intended to Kelce, but the shirtless pics don’t compare.
Nelson Agholor – 2 catches for 55 yards and his 5th touchdown. And that’s his 4th touchdown in the past 5 weeks. The target share isn’t consistent (3, 4, 2, 9, 2, 3 targets over the past six games) so Agholor’s a risky WR3, at best. Hard to believe he has the most receiving touchdowns in Vegas.
Justin Herbert – 28/42 for 326 yards, 5 carries for 24 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 17 passing touchdowns in his seven starts. It’s heart breaking loss after heart breaking loss for the rookie. Almost like the Falcons were meant to draft him. Regardless, the fantasy numbers are there every week and the kid has a fantastic playoff schedule.
Keenan Allen – 9 catches for 103 yards and his 4th touchdown. Since stepping in, Herbert has been playing a perfect Kel to Keenan. Allen has seen double digit targets in every single Herbert start but one, and he was injured in that one exception. Like I’ve said the past couple weeks, he’s a locked in WR1.
Mike Williams – 5 catches for 81 yards. The rookie QB has a lot of trust in Big Mike, especially down in the red zone. But Williams did get banged up on the next to last play of the game and was down for awhile before walking off—assemble prayer octagon.
Justin Jackson – Recorded no touches before leaving on the first drive with a knee injury. Apparently JJax did return at some point but never touched the ball. With Jackson out it was *checks notes* Kalen Ballage (15 carries for 69 yards, 2 catches for 15 yards and his 1st touchdown) who did the heavy lifting? Huh? Joshua Kelley (9 carries for 28 yards) continues to be an after thought. They just signed the mediocre Ballage and he’s somehow already ahead of Kelley in the pecking order. I’m writing this entire Chargers backfield off until Austin Ekeler (hamstring) is back—which probably won’t be until December, unfortunately.
Chase Claypool – 8 catches for 69 yards. Claypool led the team with 13 targets and legitimately looks like a superstar in his prime. The eye test has been passed. Speaking of which I have to go to the DMV for an eye test this week so if you never hear from me again, you know what happened.
Diontae Johnson – 6 catches for 77 yards. Diontae finished second on the team with 10 targets. This is one Johnson I’d pay top dollar for, buy him now.
Juju Smith-Schuster – 6 catches for 93 yards and his 3rd touchdown. This marks the first time JuJu has found the end zone since September. I continue to rank him third among the Steeler receiving trio.
Ezekiel Elliott – 18 carries for 51 yards, 2 catches for 18 yards. Zeke hasn’t found the end zone in any of the four games since Dak went down and it’s becoming difficult to value him as anything more than a volume based RB2. To be fair, this week it was against the elite Steeler run defense, but Tony Pollard (9 carries for 57 yards, 1 catch for 1 yard) had no problem ripping off some chunks of yardage.
Amari Cooper – 5 catches for 67 yards. Since Dak went away Amari has struggled to produce as well, not exceeding 80 receiving yards in any game. Of course it’s been a revolving door of diarrhea at QB but there’s no signs of the shits subsiding anytime soon. I’m considering Cooper a mid to low end WR2.
CeeDee Lamb – 4 catches for 71 yards and his 3rd touchdown. The best CD I’ve owned since my mom bought me Thiller back in the ’90s. As far as valuation goes, I’d rank him just below Amari.
Tua Tagovailoa – 20/28 for 248 yards, 7 carries for 35 yards and his 2nd and 3rd passing touchdowns. That’s more like it. This rushing production is what I was hoping to see from the Dolphins rookie. Still think there’s a good chance he’s better than both Herbert and Burrow, and that’s not at all a knock on those two.
Jordan Howard – 10 carries for 19 yards and his 4th touchdown. Howard now has more rushing touchdowns than rushing yards this year. I’m joking, but he’s not that far off—Howard has a comical 28 carries for 33 yards on the season. Myles Gaskin (knee) will be out at least two more weeks, but Matt Breida (hamstring) should be back for next week and he’s the one I’d want to roster while Gaskin is out.
Preston Williams – 4 catches for 60 yards and his 4th touchdown. Saucy Boi! Annnnnd he’s hurt. Williams left with a foot injury sustained on his TD catch in the 2nd quarter because donkeys can’t have nice things. I’m expecting him to miss a couple weeks.
DeVante Parker – 6 catches for 64 yards. Tua had shown a preference for Saucy Boi in his first game and a half prior to the foot injury, so the absence of Sauciness is a positive for Parker owners.
Christian Kirk – 5 catches for 123 yards and his 6th touchdown. It wasn’t very Christian of Kirk to show the Dolphins defense up like this. He led the team in targets and he’s a solid WR2 option moving forward.
Chase Edmonds – 25 carries for 70 yards, 3 catches for 18 yards. With Kenyan Drake (ankle) away, Edmonds dominated the running back touches in the desert. Unless you consider Kyler a running back. Drake didn’t practice all week so the odds probably favor Edmonds getting another opportunity to take the backfield over next week.
Drew Brees – 26/32 for 222 and 4 touchdowns—he now has 17 passing touchdowns and only 3 interceptions on the year. Pretty good for a guy who was questionable all week with a right shoulder injury. Goes to show you, QBs don’t really need their shoulders.
Alvin Kamara – 9 carries for 40 yards, 5 catches for 9 yards and his 8th touchdown. Kamara’s streak of games with 100 total yards comes to an end at six and he might’ve kept it going if this wasn’t the least competitive game since the last the last time the Jets played.
Michael Thomas – 5 catches for 51 yards. After a two month vacation you’d think he could contribute a little more. The Boof (aka Al_FF_red) caught some heat for ranking Thomas #21 in his rest of season wide receiver rankings last week. Sure, it seems low now that he’s actually on the field, but it’s better to be on the conservative side when guys are dealing with nagging soft tissue injuries. I do think it’s now time to more Thomas back up into the elite WR tier but know there’s still so risk of reinjury.
Emmanuel Sanders – 4 catches for 38 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Manny really seemed to be settling in before Corona came for him, so it’s good to see him pick up right where he left off.
Tom Brady – 22/38 for 209 yards, 0 touchdowns and 3 interceptions. If you didn’t watch then all I can say is this was an epically bad game for Brady and all of Tampa. They ran the ball a total of 4 times (new NFL record low!) and I think three of those rushes went to Ronald Jones (3 carries for 9 yards, 3 catches for 9 yards) on the first drive. Leonard Fournette (1 carry for 0 yards, 6 catches for 41 yards) actually wished he was back in Jacksonville. Chris Godwin (3 catches for 41 yards) broke his other hand and both feet so he wouldn’t have to play anymore. Rob Gronkowski (1 catch for 2 yards) is going back into retirement to practice pottery and Mike Evans (4 catches for 64 yards), well he actually had kind of a decent game compared to the other Buccaneers. On the plus side, Brady has a way of bouncing back from terrible games with a vengeance, so I wouldn’t hesitate to start all of the above next week.