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Eliteflaccow415

During last night’s live thread, I queried: Which Michael Vick would show up? The “watch me earn salary I’m going to do nothing to justify” Vick, or the “I’m going to trigger my disability insurance” Vick. Turns out, it was a little bit of both. I mean, let’s be honest, you can take Michael Vick out of the Jets, but can you really take the Jets out of Michael Vick? While the Ravens 2015 season is still on life-support with a resoundingly dull win in overtime (special thanks to Josh Scobee for doing his best Josh Scobee impersonation, missing like 80 field goals, and all of them in the fourth quarter), it was nice to see Justin Forsett is actually alive and quite well. I had assumed he was legally declared dead, but the gaining of positive yardage was enough evidence to change my opinion on that matter. Despite all of that, watching Scobee slowly (or quickly, depending on how you viewed the game) get into the unemployment line combined with Vick’s underwhelming performance, along with Joe Flacco’s elite everything, all topped off with the worst decision-making by coaches in a long time… well, I’m going to go ahead and call last nights game “Physically Impossible”. Because it sucked and blowed at the same time…

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Le’Veon Bell – 22 CAR, 129 YDS, 1 TD. I think society is very fortunate that Le’Veon Bell found football…

Sammie Coates – 1 REC, 11 YDS. You’re not Antonio Brown, as*hole.

Joe Flacco – 20/33, 189 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 3 CAR, o YDS, 1 FUM. Flacco is a difference maker, I’m sure. That 120.6 million dollar contract just keeps looking better and better. Like an fine elite wine, it only gets better with time.

Justin Forsett – 27 CAR, 150 YDS. While having the game go into overtime helped his overall stats, it’s always a good sign as a running back if you have a 5.55 YPC in a game. No touchdowns, but I’m not sure the Ravens are capable of such a thing on most occasions, still, certainly a great indicator of things to come. (Hopefully.)

Darrius Heyward-Bey – 4 REC, 31 YDS, 1 TD. When the hell did Heyward-Bey learn to catch? I’m astounded. Perhaps this is not your older brother’s Darrius Heyward-Bey…

Steve Smith Sr. – 4 REC, 24 YDS. When he retires, I hope Steve Smith becomes an announcer. “Well Jim, if you look at this play, YOU’LL SEE A P*SSY ASS B*TCH bite on the screen and open up that MOTHERF*CKING LANE.” He was bothered by a back contusion and did not return after leaving in the third quarter. Kamar Aiken (5 REC, 77 YDS, 1 TD) recieved the bulk of Flacco’s eliteness, but I’ve been raised to never trust an Aiken. But if Smith is limited or out for any amount of time, there are literally zero receivers left on this roster.

Michael Vick – 19/26, 124 YDS, 1 TD and 9 CAR, 33 YDS. It appeard for most of the night, Todd Haley’s game plan was: Not enough time to learn the playbook? Let’s make sh*t up. So not really different from any other night. I bet RGIII was watching last night’s game though, drawing inspiration from Vick like an Italian watching a Rocky movie.

Maxx Williams – 2 REC, 17 YDS. You could say he powered it to his… Maxx. (Imagine how good that joke could have been if he actually did something last night…)

 

Final Thought

My reaction watching this game as well...

My reaction watching this game as well…