Donkey Teeth

Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football

December 13, 2019 | Fantasy Football Dynasty League Rankings, Fantasy Football Dynasty Leagues | 17 Comments

by:

I was watching NFL Network Sunday morning and a commercial came on that made me double take:

That’s right, there’s a curved erection epidemic running rampant in America! This advertisement created more questions than answers. First, what are the scientific qualifications for a shaft to earn the “diseased” label? Are we talking right angles or a bit more obtuse? Is there a special penis protractor to measure the exact angles? And what’s the treatment plan for this condition? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. But I am curious, who was this Peyronie guy? Whoever he was, thanks to him, the family name will forever go down as the crooked erection guys. The point is, no matter how terrible your fantasy football team was this season, things could be worse. You could be watching targeted erectile deformity ads on Sunday mornings. Even if you just got done searching Amazon for a penis protractor, at least the curved dong disease wasn’t named after you. And there’s always next year! So let’s all zip up our pants and shift our attention over to my early 2020 top 100 dynasty football PPR rankings which will be released into your veins–arm veins– via four-part slow drip: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn more about our 2024 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

The best blend of accurate and bold weekly projections for QB/RB/WR/TE + PK + Defensive Teams and IDP as well as a kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!

Pat

Rest of Season 80: The Last Man Standing

December 12, 2019 | Fantasy Football Rankings | 11 Comments

by:

Fantasy football is a tough game. In my opinion, the main reason is that player values change massively week to week in unpredictable ways. These things happen in baseball and basketball, but not nearly at the volume or frequency. There is no greater example of this in 2019 than Zach Ertz. During the pre-season Ertz was an obvious overvalue in the 3rd round.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
MB

Weekly Fantasy Football Rankings – MB’s Week 15

December 11, 2019 | Weekly Rankings | 33 Comments

by:

I had to make a tough decision last weekend. Not like actual real-life tough, but fantasy football tough. As you may know, I was touting Odell Beckham Jr. throughout the preseason and recommending not trading him throughout the season. I know, my bad. Since I often draft who I recommend drafting I had to make the decision in two leagues whether or not I wanted to start him in the playoffs. I chose to bench Beckham for Robert Woods in one league and Zach Pascal in the other. And I won both playoff matchups by a combined 7 points. Choosing to bench Beckham even though he was playing against the Cincinnati was the difference between getting two teams to the semi-finals or being down two playoff teams. 

I’m not typing this to brag or talk about my fantasy teams because I know that nobody cares about fantasy teams that aren’t their own unless, of course, it is their job to. Just don’t be afraid to make the tough decisions for your lineup if it feels like it’s the right thing to do. Even if it means benching somebody that you drafted really early, like Odell Beckham Jr. or Le’Veon Bell. Let’s get to the rankings for week 15. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nic Romero

Handcuff Report: Bad Boyz of Week 15

December 10, 2019 | Handcuff Report | 7 Comments

by:

For a second week in a row Raheem Mostert dominated offensive snaps for the 49ers running back room, logging 73.7% (wk13) and 59.7% (wk14) snap share. Tevin Coleman ranked 3rd on the team in RB snap share following Matt Breida’s return from injury. Raheem handled 12 touches, over Breida’s 7 and Coleman’s 3. I’m not sure if Coleman is injured or Mostert and Breida are clearly the better option. Regardless, you can’t trust Coleman starting in any format for week 15 and most likely 16.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
B_Don

Razzball Football Podcast – All Day or DeAndre?

December 10, 2019 | Fantasy Football Podcast | 5 Comments

by:

B_Don triumphantly returns from his European adventures, now infinitely more cultured. And infinitely more food poisoned. B_Don returns just in time for Donkey Teeth to leave the country himself. But not before the guys discuss their top 5 (or 6) waiver pickups for week 15, including DeAndre Washington, Adrian Peterson, Raheem Mostert, A.J. Brown, Anthony Miller, Noah Fant, Patrick Laird and Russell Gage.

Then in the deep pickups segment B_Don and Donk discuss Trequan Smith, C.J. Prosise, Tony Pollard, Justin Watson, Wendell Smallwood and Josh Adams. Plus DT’s obligatory mention of Ryquell Armstead as Leonard Fournette matches his way toward a full 16 game season, against all odds. Catch all of this and the A**hole of the Week on this weeks Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast! 
Please, blog, may I have some more?
al_FF_red

Waiver Sherpa – Week 15: See What Brown Can Do For You

December 10, 2019 | Waiver Wire | 19 Comments

by:

So you’ve made it to the penultimate checkpoint before glory. Set up camp, rest your joints and have a good night’s sleep. Things only get more difficult from here. The rations are all used up, we’re all running on pocket lint and snow, and no one feels bad for your FLEX options. It’s the playoffs, kill or be killed, there is no tomorrow, survive and advance and all that.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
MB

Bring Some Jimmies, We’re Gonna Score In New Orleans

December 9, 2019 | Fantasy Football Gameday | 6 Comments

by:

I got a message in my DMs today saying, “I need to quit doubting Jimmy.” Yeah, I think we all do at this point. The porn star banging super model lookalike is also the quarterback for one of the best teams, if not THE best team in the NFC. After a heartbreaking loss in the ugly Baltimore weather last Sunday, San Francisco bounced back in New Orleans and beat the Saints 48-46.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth

AJB Finds New Helmet, Scores Twice

December 9, 2019 | Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 14 Comments

by:

Antonio Brown lit up his former team the Oakland Raiders this week, going off for 5 catches for 153 yards and 2 touchdowns as he fully delivered on his 2nd round fantasy-draft-price-tag. And just when his owners needed him most. He also chipped in 1 carry for 13 yards and he didn’t even fart in anyone’s face in the locker room after the win. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like the AB I know. *checks notes* Ahhhh this was A.J. Brown, not Antonio Brown! My bad, honest mistake. The Titans 2nd round rookie out of Mississippi, A.J. Brown, now has 6 touchdowns and three 100+ yard games on the season. Can I just draft the entire 2019 rookie receiver class on all of my teams next year? Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday afternoons’ games for fantasy football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?