Hit it or Quit It, Week 13: Cruz-ing for a Loss

November 29, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 2 Comments

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - AUGUST 09: Wide receiver Victor Cruz #80 of the New York Giants looks on prior to a preseason game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at MetLife Stadium on August 9, 2014 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Alex Trautwig/Getty Images)

Well, here we are ladies and gentlemen, convicts and inmates, perverts and peepers, Week 13 of the 2016 Fantasy Football season. This also marks my last article for the year as many of you will be on your own as the season winds down. I hope that you will all be able to manage without my weekly doses of awesomeness until next Fall, but many of you continue to have masturbation shrines to me in your basements, so it’ll be like I never left. How are we doing? Me, I have about three out of five leagues where I still have a shot at taking home the Shiva thanks to the waiver wire, some good old-fashioned voodoo, and a couple of human sacrifices. Let’s just say, Jobu has had more than a few refills this year, but hey, whatever works, right? Now that we are down to the wire, there are some really slim pickin’s on many of the waiver wires and my Black Widow Curse continues to feast on man-flesh, but on the bright side, she is also allowing some people to make it back from oblivion and certain doom, so there is a silver lining, I suppose. Let’s see what magic I can work for you this week and give you that extra fluffing to boldly make that erect march into your 2016 Fantasy League stardom. Without further ado, I give you the last 2016 edition of Hit it or Quit it…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Is Westworld On Yet?

November 28, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 113 Comments

by: Jay

While the Chargers fan in me wanted this Sunday Night Football game to be a lazy Father’s Day gift (a tie!), the football fan in me just wanted to do a bit of scouting on Tony Romo’s new team next season. But it was hard to do either with the most boring first half of a football game in the history of the NFL, since last Thursday. Though drinking games usually help, instead, to match the theme of this weekend, I went with an eating game. If a first down happened, I ate turkey, and if not, ham. Worked out pretty well, I have to say. And don’t get me wrong, there were some positives last night. Al Michaels’ continued sabbatical is one. (Kinda like February in Palm West, because it’s all about an old man drying out.) There was… okay, so there was one positive. Which really wasn’t a positive at all with Cris Collinsworth trying to speak with Roger Goodell’s balls in his mouth. Just remember, the NFL flexed this game because they honestly thought that it would be more entertaining than the Jets and Patriots. Which would have been futile anyways, unless they happened to flex Westworld instead…

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Sunday Games Live Thread, Week 12

November 27, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 69 Comments

by: Jay

So this is it my friends, quite possibly the last fantasy regular season week we’ll spend together… until we all do this again next year. And seeing as how we are celebrating the holidays with relatives who know about as much as brining a turkey (want to know why the turkey is so dry? Because you need to brine it folks…) as they do politics, football is a nice recompense. Well, that along with copious amounts of alcohol. But in that spirit, I’d like to thank all my contributors and staff writers, because without you, this place would just be all Jay all the time. And if you guy’s know anything, you never go full Jay. So in no particular order, special thanks to Tehol Beddict, Alex Lee, Matt Bowe, Zach, Dominic Hall, Mike Honcho, Stan Son, Mike Maher, malamoney, Matt Hayes, Lance, and Rudy Gamble, who handles so many things on the back-end (that’s what she said) of the site. And I’d also, while I’m at it, thank you, the readers and community. Obviously, without all of you, we wouldn’t be here… I mean, Tehol would be here, but if Tehol writes of his love for Andre Ellington and no one reads it, did it really happen?

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 12 by clicking here. Tehol’s rankings can be found here. And as always, my updated rankings are available after the jump!

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Deep Impact, Week 12: Malcolm Down the Middle

November 26, 2016 | 2016 Deep Leagues, 2016 Fantasy Football | 2 Comments

by: Alex Lee

Nov 20, 2016; Santa Clara, CA, USA; New England Patriots wide receiver Malcolm Mitchell (19) after a play against the San Francisco 49ers during the third quarter at Levi's Stadium. The New England Patriots defeated the San Francisco 49ers 30-17. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s Deep Impact! This is going to be a short one as I recover from my two Thanksgiving feasts (just one of the many benefits of growing up as a child of divorce). As my arteries course with gravy, allow me to share some players that I’m thankful are available in less than 10% of Yahoo leagues.

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Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 12: Not At All Shady

November 26, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 13 Comments

by: Zach

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of our Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em series.

Hopefully all of you had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday full of great family, friends, food and hockey! Can’t you believe that the Canadiens clawed out another close win against Carolina, and now they are 15-4-2! If only they could start Carey Price every game…. oh, and the Cowboys are 10-1 I guess. I dunno.

We are now one week away from being one week away from the fantasy playoffs, and I hope most of you (hopefully all?) are looking good for some fantasy postseason action, and if you aren’t, hopefully you are close! And if you are at the bottom of your league… well, there is always next year.

I can definitely say that I have greatly enjoyed my time here at Razzball currently over these past two years, and I believe this is a direct result of how awesome some of these writers are here. One of which being my good friend Tehol. Over these past two weeks, Tehol has finished 4th and 2nd out of all of the other experts in the FantasyPros rankings challenge, and I want to give him some mad props for it. If you are feeling good about your team, double-check some of your crucial week-to-week decisions with the Lord himself to get the edge on your competition. You won’t regret it.

Alright, enough jabber. Let’s get to Week 12!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Beyond the Numbers, Week 12: There’s a New Marshall in Town

November 25, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 8 Comments

by: Dominic Hall

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Happy Black Friday everyone! Hopefully none of you guys got trampled getting all those deals, but come on, a $300 big screen TV is worth just about whatever it takes to get. If you’re like me and would rather not get run over by a shopping cart stampede, Cyber Monday is where it’s at. You can’t beat sitting on your butt and buying random items you don’t need just because they’re cheap. I may be a day late, but as tradition dictates, I like to give thanks to something every year. This year, I want to give my thanks to my man Jon Gruden for being the commentator on Monday Night Football. I mean, can you imagine Chris Collinsworth or Phil Simms getting that privilege? It’s bad enough we all had to sit through Rams v. 49ers this year, can you imagine it with one of them giving the play by play? Sorry, Halloween is long over. I shouldn’t subject anyone to such scary thoughts. Anyway onto the interesting guys of the week. Hope everyone’s still got a shot in their matchups after all the Thanksgiving Day games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

By The Numbers, Week 12: Ryan’s Hope

November 25, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 18 Comments

by: Mike Honcho

ORCHARD PARK, NY - SEPTEMBER 14: Ryan Tannehill #17 of the Miami Dolphins throws against the Buffalo Bills during the second half at Ralph Wilson Stadium on September 14, 2014 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)

Welcome back to another action packed, fun-filled edition of By The Numbers. Hopefully you’ve had your fill of everything Thanksgiving, because the list of top-tier rushing and passing match ups this week is a bit thin. The Turkey-Day games definitely took some oomph out of the normal Sunday slate, but I’ll do my best to harvest a few gems to satisfy your fantasy football fetish. I do have to admit though, the Holidays just wear me out. I mean, the pressure of making everyone think you’ve established yourself as a normal, productive adult is a tall task. But trust me when I tell you that I’m incredibly consistent in my ability to disappoint friends and family alike. So I guess you could say this years Thanksgiving was another success?! Anyway, one other item that’s been consistent this year is the atrocious defensive play of the San Francisco 49ers. We’ll pick apart their rushing defense down below, but for the time being I’d like to discuss their 30th ranked pass defense. Yep, you know where I’m going with this… It’s Ryan Tannehill time and we should all rejoice! The 49ers are so bad they’re on my stream-against list every week. They’re giving up 19.8 fantasy points per game, which is good for fifth most in the league and they’ve allowed at least 10 points a each week to opposing QBs since Week 2. Tannehill is set up for a productive afternoon as the 49ers are allowing 252 yards passing per contest and they’ve handed out 23 passing scores (2nd most) against just seven interceptions this year. So, if you’re a fan of the 49ers, this might be a great afternoon to do something fun, like go for a bike ride or get back-out drunk and embarrass your immediate family. Anything to avoid this disaster that’s about to take place in South Florida. Until then, here’s a look at some more of my favorite plays this week:

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Bear or Bull, Week 12: Rishard Matthews

November 25, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 6 Comments

by: Son

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We mocked the Tennessee Titans all off-season. First, when they decided to retain Mike Mularkey as their full-time head coach, we all shook our heads. Not up and down, but side to side. Then Mularkey unveiled “exotic smashmouth” to the world. What the Mularkey??!! DeMarco Murray was signed as a free agent, but then they drafted Heisman running back Derrick Henry in the second round of the NFL Draft. Que? Before the season started, they traded physcial freak, Dorial Green-Beckham to the Eagles for an offensive lineman. What?! Que?! Huh?!

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Fantasy Football Rankings, Week 12

November 23, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Weekly Rankings | 86 Comments

by: Jay

Period	Rank	QB	RB	WR	TE	K	DST
Week 11	35 out of 133	81	24	59	33	19	77
Week 10	59 out of 133	46	40	102	104	15	40
Week 9	2 out of 133	2	20	76	14	33	18
Week 8	46 out of 134	76	13	90	65	73	33
Week 7	5 out of 138	58	2	36	30	22	56
Week 6	92 out of 137	101	60	87	63	18	55
Week 5	9 out of 138	42	32	4	112	56	12
Week 4	5 out of 141	60	15	6	49	4	62
Week 3	22 out of 139	41	18	62	21	7	32
Week 2	96 out of 139	96	116	38	107	13	8
Week 1	66 out of 138	63	73	34	116	32	23
2016	7 out of 141	28	5	12	39	9	20
3-year AVG	20 out of 122	36	28	17	42	16	38

I know we have football starting pretty early tomorrow, and since we’ll all either be cooking, eating, and napping (or all of them at once, like me!), here are your Thanksgiving Day rankings a bit earlier than usual… (Happy Holidays everyone!)

Special Note: I just wanted to mention that our very own Tehol Beddict has been absolutely incredible the past month with his calls. A fourth place finish in Week 10 was followed up by a number one overall finish in Week 11. Be sure to check out his rankings here! And as always, if you need the hard data (hey baby) and projections, be sure to check out Rudy’s Pigskinator!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Handcuff Report, Week 12: They See Me Rawls-in’, They Hatin’

November 23, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 1 Comment

by: mikeMaher

If you are like me and drafted Thomas Rawls in August but managed to stay patient and hang onto him until now, take a bow. I’ll bow with you. September and October were some dark times, my friends, but here we are. Rawls is the top dog in Seattle, and it looks like it will stay that way for the rest of the season now that Christine Michael got shipped out of town and C.J. Prosise is hurt. We did it, guys.

Prosise ran for a 72-yard touchdown in the first quarter on Sunday, but he left the game in the second quarter. It was pretty much all Rawls for the rest of the game, with a little bit of Troymaine Pope (who also got hurt). The Seahawks getting rid of Christine Michael meant they were ready to roll with Prosise and Rawls as their top guys and that they were confident Rawls would be healthy and effective. Now that Prosise is out of the picture, it’s all Rawls, baby.

Rawls rushed 14 times for 57 yards (4.1 YPC) and added three catches for 31 yards, giving him 88 total yards on the day. Heading into the fantasy playoffs, getting an every down back like Rawls into your lineup could be just what your team needs to get that extra edge (I know my team, where I went zero RB and took Rawls as my RB1 LATE, is sitting pretty now that I have him back). The best part about the Prosise injury* is that it means Rawls will see more action on passing downs. They will find a way to spell him here and there, but Rawls should be an every down back going forward and should catch his fair share of passes.

Things change quickly in the NFL, and it seems like just last week we were excited about the idea of a Prosise-Rawls backfield combination. But this week was about much more than Thomas Rawls and how happy we all are to have him back.

To the report. . .

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Who Are These Guys?, Week 12: R. Kelley’s Public Announcement

November 23, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 10 Comments

by: malamoney

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and with that I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you all the things for which I am NOT thankful. Considering how long this list could potentially be, I’ve decided to limit its scope to fantasy football related content. There’s only one thing I would be thankful for, and that’s a championship. Everything else is just background noise. Here’s my list.

After deciding to go with A.J. Green last week in most of my DFS lineups, he promptly left game after his team’s second offensive play ending the day with zero points.

When three of my four running backs all have the same bye week. Yes, one could easily say “poor planning”, but sometimes sh*t just happens. Right?

I guess I can just lump Adrian Peterson and Jamaal Charles in the same sentence. There are reports, however, of AP making a mid-December return. Might not hurt to stash him if you have the room. I’d probably grab Wendell Smallwood instead.

Cam Newton, Todd Gurley and DeAndre Hopkins. Can you imagine having drafted all three of these guys. You might have been on top of the world walking away from your draft. Little did you know that you had just ordered a triple sh!t sandwich and it was going to taste as bad as its name leads you to believe it will taste. Triply sh*tty!

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Disgraces and Delights, Week 12: Kissing Cousins

November 23, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Weekly Rankings | 67 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

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Greetings! Loyal subjects, it brings me great honor to join you for another week where we can discuss the state of your fantasy football team while also throwing out guesses as to whom, between Christian Slater and Nicolas Cage, is packing the bigger papaya. Gotta be Cage, right? Anywhoosers, I had an absolutely stupendous time at the Seahawks game this weekend. Destroying the team that represents perennial losers like Meek Mill and the 76ers created immense joy inside of my once empty soul. However, I did stop at Buffalo Wild Wings on the way to Beddict Manor, as it’s where I met one of the friends of mine I took to the game. The food there is beyond godawful and I have absolutely no idea how this restaurant got so big. You’re telling me that no other company could create a similar sports bar (i.e. just a bunch of TVs), with EDIBLE food and waiters who aren’t high out of their minds? I haven’t been to Hooters in like five years but, oh ho-ho, that succulent meat is calling my name. Did you think I was talking about their chicken wings? That’s a negative, Ghostrider. Anyone been to Twin Peaks? There’s one close by and I’m highly intrigued. Let’s chat later about it.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

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