There was some more preseason football to be played this past Saturday, including news that Philip Rivers will be having at least eight more children in the San Diego area spread out over the next four years. That is, of course, based on his average of having five kids per month, but I should note that my math has a history of being a tad off. But, hey, remember when he was getting traded to the Titans for sure? While the signing itself is, well, a good sign for the Chargers on the field, I’m not sure if this has any bearing on impending the stadium situation that is falling wayside, straight into the dumpster (and I mean the actual deal, not them moving to Carson, which I know can be confusing as both are pretty much dumpster fires) Other than that, we had the debut of Jameis Winston, some quality trolling by Chip Kelly on which quarterback is starting in Week 1, and other football happenings. So let’s get started…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Amen.

I just noticed this, but even though he’s really injured, Niles Paul seems like he’s looking at my “Amen” right there in total agreement. Actually, probably not. I’m probably just drunk.
Or if you’re an atheist like me, no men. Or maybe that’s being sexist. Honestly, who cares? With an offseason full of deflated balls and, well, actually, come to think of it, that’s all I can really remember. Okay, I guess it wasn’t as bad as the last offseason, where people were punched and seasons of some high profile players were already lost, you know, because of said punchings… I guess talking about your/my/Tom Brady’s balls isn’t the worst outcome in the history of man. We’ll just call it a close second. And so it was, six games of football were played last night. Sure, it’s just the first week of the preseason (with more games to come this Saturday!), but any football is good football. And while the notes you’re used to won’t go into regular season mode until the NFL does, I’m still here to overview what happened last night. So shall we dance our first dance? Don’t worry, it’s cool, I already established no men. (Did that land? Hmm, maybe I’m in preseason mode too…)
Please, blog, may I have some more?As fantasy football and fantasy baseball start to overlap, you can start to notice some similarities between the two. You can wait on the quarterback position, just like you can wait on pitching. Power is at a premium in baseball, as is a running back who has the job to himself. But perhaps no comparison is as true as a tight end in football is just like a shortstop in baseball (well, kickers and catchers are pretty damn close). In fantasy baseball, shortstop is basically a fantasy wasteland. You either have Troy Tulowitzki or Carlos Correa or you have nothing. The same goes for tight end in football, too. Last year, it was either Jimmy Graham (and his then-first-round tag), Julius Thomas, or Rob Gronkowski. After that, there wasn’t much at all to get excited about. Injuries plagued Graham and Thomas, leaving Gronkowski as the best option at the position, as he dominated the competition similar to the way that Tulo does when he’s healthy.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Greetings! Did you all enjoy that exhilarating Hall of Fame game as much as I did? Landry Jones looks about as valuable as Kim Kardashian before she so eloquently played the meat flute on camera. Seriously, preseason football is harder to watch than that Hulk Hogan sex tape, you know the one where he simultaneously drilled his best friend’s ex-wife AND managed to slip the “N” word out multiple times? Okay, enough about sex tapes. You’re not here to listen to me bash celebrities (or are you?). You’re here to get Beddict’s take on the TE position, a position that I must admit, I’m a little down on this season. Jimmy Graham has been traded away from a high-flying passing attack to a ground-and-pound system that is bound to disappoint. I’d say it’s akin to the falloff from season one of True Detective to season two.
I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!
Please, blog, may I have some more?The thing that makes me want a wide receiver more than any other wide receiver is his opportunity to blossom. What we saw last year from Allen Robinson in the 10 weeks prior to his injury was that he was starting to “get it”. Granted, “it” has so many different ways to be translated, but for this post, let’s just say it was it from a standpoint of becoming a fantasy relevant player. Players developing in systems, offensively, are always where I tend to lean when looking for my WR3. Look no further than the current Jags offense. It is in year two of the phase, and it hinges on Blake Bortles being able to take that next step as a signal caller. All signs from the preseason tend to be pointing in that direction. I mean, he doesn’t have to explode into the next elite fantasy quarterback, he just needs to manage the game better and with the developing weapons that are now surrounding him, and I think it’s an inevitability that a star is going to blossom from that. That person is going to be Allen Robinson.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Well, Steve Smith wasn’t actually there to throw the punch, but I’d like to think that in loving memory of Smith’s brilliant and punch-happy career, reserve linebacker IK Enemkpali (which, coincidentally, is the name of a Somali pirate ship boat dinghy…) sucker-punched Geno Smith, breaking his jaw and sending to the sideline for six-to-ten weeks.
“It was nothing to do with football. … It was very childish,” coach Todd Bowles said. “He got cold-cocked … sucker punched, whatever you want to call it, in the jaw. He’s got a broken jaw, a fractured jaw.”
The Somali ship boat dinghy was a sixth-round pick back in 2014, and was immediately released by the Jets. I don’t know about you guys, but a successful career in the NFL is usual predicated with not knocking out your own quarterback for more than half the season. I’d have to think this is the last time we hear the name IK Enemkpali. Unless the Patriots sign him as a reclamation project, only to see Tom Brady sucker-punched. Then his name would be: Hero.
In my never-ending quest to save Princess Zelda and keep peace in Hyrule, I have attempted to conquer the demon that is the fantasy football auction draft. And let me tell you, this is one beast that is quite elusive. With the ability to change dynamically with a click of the “bid” button, the auction draft can overwhelm even the most prepared fantasy hero. The only way to have a chance at victory is to equip thyself with as many tools as you can, and if all else fails, reach into your bomb bag, light, throw and run.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Greetings! It’s not often that I deliver a double dose of Beddict, but when Jay calls for me, I come flying like an arrow shot by Robin Hood himself! Bullseye Muthaf*cka! By the way, I meant the Kevin Costner Robin Hood, not that flagrantly foul Russell Crowe garbage. Talk about disappointments! I was ridiculously jacked for that flick, but ended up staying up nights, sweating my nuts off, wondering what went wrong. Probably very much like what every night of Adrian Brody’s life has been like since he won an Oscar.
I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Lamar Miller was a surprise fantasy asset in 2014, ending as the No. 9 running back. His closing line was: 216 rushes for 1,099 yards, eight rushing touchdowns, 38 receptions for 275 yards, and one receiving touchdown. As of August 6, 2015, Miller has an ADP of 39 overall and is the 17th running back off the board. Are people expecting Milli Vanilli Part Deux? I can understand the trepidation in backing Miller. There have been many instances where players have taken fantasy owners on the Buster Douglas elevator. 2006 Cadillac Williams and 2013 Doug Martin are the two that instantly come to mind.
Entering 2015, there are six running backs that are rock solid: Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles, Eddie Lacy, Le’Veon Bell, Marshawn Lynch, and C. J. Anderson. After that, things get murky and question marks abound. Miller has an excellent chance to make hearts of fantasy degenerates everywhere flutter…
Please, blog, may I have some more?As happens regularly during the preseason, a player’s value can change dramatically. Unless you’re Mark Sanchez. Then your value remains always the same. But for all the other fantasy football players that will presumably be drafted, it’s inevitable that sh*t happens. Pretty much a good motto to live life by if you ask me. So as things like Arian Foster and groin muscles happen, so does the landscape change. Yes, the rankings are not static, and I do make minor edits every other day or so, but when a potential top-10 running back goes down for the foreseeable future, I do make broader changes. This will happen at least once a week (updated rankings, not Arian Foster throwing his groin muscle away. Actually, this might happen weekly too now that I think about it…) where I’ll be updating the rankings every Sunday night for your Monday morning consumption. Don’t worry, this isn’t to make you dizzy, like moving Donald Brown up 45 spots. (I mean, unless there’s some reason for him to get moved up. Like the apocalypse.) These changes will be based on reports coming out of training camps, especially when it comes to health and the player’s roles, basically anything that I feel shifts a player’s value. As an example, you will notice after the jump that Le’Veon Bell has already moved up to the number two spot in the running back rankings now that his suspension is confirmed at two games, and, of course, Arian Foster and Tom Brady have lowered due to their current issues. Be sure to stay up to date, and we’ll help you with your draft no matter if it’s in a few days or a few weeks.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Soooo, yeah, I got bored. What can I say? Even with such an illustrious life of binge drinking and hanging out with your mom, there are empty spaces to fill. And I give you something that came out of one of those spaces. The thought process here is, (and be careful, you’ll be entering my thoughts, so duck if you see heavy amounts of boobage, or, you know, do your best motorboat impersonation):
“Well, you know what I would really like? Besides a fudgesicle? Actually, that’s all I’d really like. Wait, then I can’t explain my chart. Well… okay, but this is the last favor I’m doing for you. (What, this is how my brain works… kinda makes you wonder why you are even here, right?) So… what I’d like right now, besides fudge in my mouth, is a sort of reference thingamajig and tells me where all my picks will land if I’m picking, let’s say, 5th in a 12-team draft. Where are the rest of my picks? WHERE I ASK YOU! Look at all this internal strife. FUUUUDGE.”
So, you see all that? I needed something to tell me where my picks are, because I react to math like I do canned asparagus. This is a bad thing for all you canned asparagus lovers out there. All three of you. So, here’s a nifty chart-thang that won’t necessarily help you navigate international waters, but might come in handy during your drafts…
Please, blog, may I have some more?I hope you’ve done your research and have participated in at least one mock draft by now. Keyword, of course, being mock. After seeing what happened to Arian Foster on Tuesday, you don’t want to draft until the last minute possible. However, you want to go into your strategy with a plan, not blind.
Please, blog, may I have some more?




