Bet the Farm: NFL Week 14 Betting Contest

Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 13:

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Weekly Rankings: He Went (Crawling Back) To Jared

by: Sky

It’s been a few weeks where this has been the case but it takes a rankings week like this to be firmly reminded: the TE position seems to always start with so much promise and seemingly ends in pain for about 75% of the league. Remember when Jordan Cameron couldn’t be stopped? Remember when Jordan Reed was gonna make up for when he was? Remember when we thought Gronk would be back week 4 so we picked up Rob Housler cuz it didn’t really matter what your TE did for a few weeks? Fun times…wait no it wasn’t. TE has turned back into a cess pool and we need no firmer a reminder than Jared Cook. Cook is still 14th in total fantasy points in PPR leagues at his position. To put that number in perspective, after his week one explosion for 7/141/2 against the Cardinals he seemed like the stud we’ve all been dreaming of. Now fast forward to week 14 and that game still represents 30% of his total fantasy points production on the year. Woof. And speaking of Jordan Cameron, he’s still 4th among TEs in total fantasy points in the same setting and we all know he’s done nothing since week forever ago at this point. But with all this pain, there is a nice silver lining: you’re in the playoffs if you’re reading this so you made it through the slog and to add to your joys, there’s probably a streamable TE near you for this first week. Wanna know who I’m talking about at this point? Hint: I bolded his name a few sentences ago. Jared gets to face the same team he torched week one in the Cardinals, a team that just gave up a 5/68/2 line to Zach Ertz. You’re just gonna have to face the fact that Jared is gonna be a better play this week than most known names and I’ve ranked him accordingly. Don’t worry, you can throw him away like the used condom you accidentally stepped on barefoot this morning. You need to work on your trash can aim, bro…but if you’re sitting there with a bad matchup for your TE who’s not Gronk or Graham, Cook should be a great grab for this week. Outside of that, I also like Martellus more than others do and someone is gonna have to explain to me why the Bengals at home against the Colts isn’t a sweet matchup. Am I the only one who’s noticed how bad the Colts have been? Wins be damned, this is not a good squad and not a huge challenge for opposing defenses right now. Torrey Smith: I toldja I liked him for the playoff stretch and I put my money where my mouth is even though every one tells you that is just not hygienically sound to do. Look a little further down beyond top 10 WRs and you see some surprises. Andre Holmes? What can I say, I’m a believer. Jacoby Jones? What’s good for the Torrey Goose is good for the Dancer. Julian Edelman? They’re not putting Joe Haden on him and if they are…well, then crap that was a really bad call. Mike Glennon and Matt McGloin are hovering up near the top 12 just asking to be let in but I am the fantasy gatekeeper and say YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Still, good plays this week if you’re a Luck owner. Kickers were selectively lined up – naked and blindfolded – in an interrogation room where they were forced at gunpoint to listen to Barry Manilow. Only those who survived made the list. But enough about the kicker inquisition, let’s get this game rolling. Here’s your week 14 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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Week 14 Players to Play/Avoid: No Luck

December 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 62 Comments

by: Loudon

It’s playoff time for many fantasy leagues and that means every game counts just a little bit more than it did before. For players like Adrian Peterson, a tough matchup against Baltimore doesn’t mean you should sit him, but it does mean you may want to look at your other positions and consider that boom or bust option over the guaranteed 6-8 point play.

Riley Cooper, for instance, is in a great matchup against Detroit and has all kinds of potential for a huge game (see: weeks 9 and 10). However, the past two weeks, Foles has been looking elsewhere. Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker and Wes Welker are likely safer options thanks to Manning throwing them the ball, but against Tennessee’s unbelievably consistent pass defense, their chances for a score are minimal. Therefore, when faced with that kind of decision in a playoff scenario, Cooper might just be your ticket to the final 4.

Roddy White and Harry Douglas are similar plays this week. After White’s fantastic 10 catches for 143 yards, I think it’s safe to say he’s feeling better, but Douglas is equally capable of a big week and Matt Ryan can’t throw to both of them on every down. Still, if faced with the choice between either Atlanta receiver against Green Bay or someone like Julian Edelman who has been great the past two weeks, but could start to see some extra coverage when Cleveland comes to town, White and Douglas offer higher ceilings.

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DraftKings – Always Use Nick’s Advice – Start Josh Gordon Every Week!

December 4, 2013 | DraftKings | 8 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

DraftKings is back! And after a week where I indeed followed Nick’s advice in playing Josh Gordon, I had a really solid outing but still not the top spot in my normal $2 Fantasy Millionaire Qualifier. I still need my ticket! Week 17 is only three weeks away now, with the WEEK 17 MILLIONAIRE FINALE less than a month out. I need my fantasy sports Christmas Bonus! I need to buy myself a treadmill with all this holiday eating… I’m feeling like Willis McGahee out there! Damn, so many Browns references… Next we’ll start talking Tim Couch!

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Thinking Forward – Jacoby Good

December 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Thinking Forward | 128 Comments

by: Sky

Well, he ain’t from down in Louisiana close to New Orleans. Then again, he might be. Didn’t read the bio. This is fantasy, not A Football Life. We don’t care if Jacoby Jones is from near Lake Titicaca, we just care that he has an awesome Sunday for us. Or Monday. Or sometimes Thursday. Anyone think we’ll eventually just have football on 7 days a week? I think they’ve expanded college football to pretty much every day but Tuesday and Wednesday at this point. Not that I’m complaining, of course, just wanted to know I’m not the only one seeing this trend. Speaking of trends, sometimes they’re your friend. Well, not the kind you can borrow money from or go to the bar with but a friend nonetheless. The trend I speak of is the Detroit Lions secondary and how it just loves to give up points to secondary receivers for teams. Let’s ignore Green Bay’s passing debacle and look back at a few secondary receivers who’ve benefited from facing the Lions in the last few weeks. Week 12 saw Tiquan Underwood drop a 3/108/2 line on them. Week 11 saw a healthy line of 3/48/1 from Cotchery. Week 9 saw a 2/64/1 line from Terrance Williams of the Cowboys. Ok, with all this good can we stamp him as a must play for week 15? Nah, of course not. But your team needs force you into strange positions sometimes. Hopefully not the lotus blossom…fantasy football isn’t THAT kind of fantasy. But if you need a nice gamble at flex or WR3 for week 15, Jones could be the Jacoby of all trades for you. Hrm, or free agent pickups I guess. But that doesn’t flow off the wordpress tongue quite as well. But enough about tongues, strange positions and Underwood, let’s move along and see who else is a good pick up for week 15 of 2013 Fantasy Football…

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The Razzball Football Podcast – The One Where We Bring Everyone Together

December 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Razzball Podcast |

by: JB Gilpin

After a fantastic holiday where all of us at Razzball got out of the office to see our families, we’re back and bringing all three of the main hosts together with Nick letting JayWrong and I develop our never-ending man love. I’ll set you up with someone, I promise! Then we develop our idea for a Razzball get-together in DC/dating ritual for our boy Jay. This week we also talk playoff strategy and where we think Josh Gordon will be drafted next year. Some leagues start playoffs this week, others have one regular season game left, so good luck in week 14 in your march to the finals!

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Jam it or Cram it: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About the Playoffs (But Were Afraid to Ask)

December 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Strategy, Waiver Wire | 61 Comments

by: The Guru

With our fake football season winding down you are either in the playoffs, positioning yourself for the sprint to the Shiva or crying Knowshon Moreno tears because you drafted Aaron Rodgers and Arian Foster. Need a hug? If you are in, congratulations. All those hours spent researching, analyzing stats and ignoring the family paid off. Cheers, I raise my whiskey glass to you. If you are out, all those hours spent researching, analyzing stats and ignoring the family were for naught. And your wife just served the divorce papers. There’s nothing like spending Christmas with your best friend Johnny Walker at the Motel 6. For those playoff bound, it is no time to quit it with the chronic rosterbating. Don’t worry you won’t go blind, but you may need glasses. It is however, time to stop taking chances on the “upside” guys. But Guru, doesn’t Ace Anders have a lot of potential. Yeah, I know disembodied voice of Razzball Nation, but potential is one thing in Week 3, it is quite another as we head into the playoffs. Stick with your consistent ballers, that’s who got you here. I only need one defense, right Mr. Turban? Well, my fellow Razzballer, if you are one of those that doesn’t own the Seattle or Carolina defense, don’t stop streaming the D now. Find the best matchup for the week and look ahead to the next few weeks. If you have roster room, pick up the defenses that have the best matchups going forward, i.e., any team facing the Jags or the Jets. If you don’t have room for three defenses, drop the dead weight off your roster. Trent Richardson isn’t going to turn into AP anytime soon. Whattabout kicker’s? Grab three of those, too? Don’t get all crazy now, Taco. One kicker will do, just make sure he’s on a high scoring team, plays in dome or has a good weather matchup. But, o wise guru, there’s nothing good on the waiver wire. Not true, my playoff bound friend. Just choose wisely. That’s why I’m here. The fake footballin’ championship is within your grasp and all the glory, bragging rights, cash and prizes are there for the taking. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

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RCL Football Update: Week 13

December 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 14 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

2013 RCL Football Only one week of regular season action is left! That means two weeks, yes “TWO WEEKS!” (thanks Total Recall lady) and you’ll know who has made the finals. Where did the season go? Just flew right on by… Unfortunately for me, it’s looking like only the Writer’s League team will be a playoff contender and finish anywhere close to the top of the RCL table. You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top Scorer TOP SCORER: A big “HIP HIP HOORAY!” for The White Broncos in the Razzball Rebels league who put up a whopping 217.42 points this week to crush the RCL field. Led be a ridiculous Elway/Decker combo this week plus getting the big Alshon game put the Broncs on the mantle, etched in RCL stone for all eternity! Nice work! The big points has the Broncos a very good shot at making the playoffs despite being 5th in the standings right now, while another win for Poon Jab has them at 10-3 and leading the league.

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Russell Wilson Doesn’t Come Up Short

December 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 161 Comments

by: Sky

Monday Night Football is all about the narrative, whatever that narrative might be. What story could we blatantly exacerbate that builds up what was already a notable game between two playoff bound teams in the Saints and the Seahawks you ask? Well why not talk about the shorties on the field, right? Where’s T-Pain when you need him? I ask because Russell Wilson needs an auto-tuned ballad rapped about his abilities to play bigger than he really is. Tonight’s matchup was all about featuring the little guy as RW3 was pitted against DB9 in a battle that would ultimately clear the argument: who really was the world’s tallest midget QB? I keed, of course. I’m just blathering about pointless conjecture. I don’t care how tall you are at QB, I just want you to ball dawg. Russell Wilson proved tonight that not every short QB from Seattle played like Rick Mirer as he went for 310 passing yards on 22/30 to go with 47 yards rushing and 3 passing TDs. Now I got a weird look when I put @DangerRussWilson #3 in the weekly rankings but maybe I’ve been too clued into what he’s been doing of late and y’all have not. I just don’t know. What I do know is coming into week 13, he’d been on fire and I couldn’t ignore that given he was at home in a marquee matchup on Monday Night Football. Minus his bye week, RW3 has been a top 10 QB over the last 4 weeks heading into MNF and he kept that trend, finishing 2nd in scoring by ESPN standards. Moving forward, the only worry I have is a letdown game in week 15 if the Seahawks triumph against the 49ers in San Fran but the road to a decent end to the year seems well within reach. I had him ranked as the 6th best QB heading into the year. He was 8th heading into MNF after everyone else had played. Something tells me that call wasn’t too far off now like many may have perceived. Don’t worry, I made up for it by putting Robert Griffin, III 5th, of course. Neverthewho! Here’s what else I saw in the game for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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Decker The Halls

December 2, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 78 Comments

by: Sky

Tis the season, right? Unless you’re not of the xmas-religion affinity. I wish I had something for you but I have zero knowledge of Decker-related things I could say about Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and all the other holiday things I could talk about here. Happy Winter Solstice? What about Festivus for the rest of us? Don’t leave, I swear I’ll be more inclusive! The holidays are much like ordering a large pizza for a room full of college students: all drunk and stoned and should be doing their homework. Wait, no! Well yes but more so you can’t please everyone. No way no how. They don’t usually let you order pizza with different toppings on every piece. There’s also something else that doesn’t always make people happy: the Denver passing attack. It was a concern coming into the year that there would be a few guys left out in the cold most of the year, if not the whole year. Well much like life, those Broncos have ebbed and flowed. Early on, it was Welker. Then DT got it turned on for a stretch. The Orange Julius had been oddly one of the more consistent of the slick quatro (yeah, it’s not their nickname; just made it up) but he’s been out with a leg issue the last two weeks. So in the stead of an underused Welker and a missing OJ, someone had to step up and on this day it was Eric Decker who finished with 8 receptions, 174 receiving yards and a whopping 4 TDs. He only had 3 total coming into Sunday on the year. The end line for Decker is gonna look fine on the surface. He’ll go well over 1,000 yards receiving and may still end with 10 TDs. But I give the fair warning that I’ll probably say the same thing about Welker when the season’s over and I think we both know how that has been of late. Moving into 2013, these two are gonna go much higher than I’m gonna be willing to pay for in most leagues due to inconsistency. Sure it’s nice when this happens but how many of you experienced this Decker explosion on your bench? Exactly, there was a good reason he was there to start the day. Don’t forget that when 2014 hits. In other news from week 13 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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Last Second Decisions – Avoiding A Thanksgiving Hangover

December 1, 2013 | Last Second Decisions | 131 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

I hope everyone in Razzball Nation had a nice Thanksgiving! I decided to buck the trend and roasted up Tehol’s chicken for my centerpiece. Fingerlickin’ good!

So we’ve already had our three Thanksgiving games, and you’re all set with a round of leftovers for the rest of week 13. You’ve got gravy all over one hand and turkey grease from the wing all over the other, and you’re just not worrying about looking at you line-up. No one is on bye right?! But with all teams now in action, it gives you a lot more line-up decisions. A lot more “last second decisions.” Hey, that’s the name of the article! Yeah, I had nothing else better to run with in my Thanksgiving hangover. My stomache feels like an ever-expanding mushroom [gravy] cloud of stuffing. But I’m ready to go for today, ready to help you get into the playoffs, and ready for one last turkey sandwich while my Panthers wipe out da Bucs.

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The Handcuff Report – Montee Ball says “Let’s Make a Deal”

November 30, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 34 Comments

by: J-FOH

Oh how injuries make a man cry, no not the hurt guy, this guy….ME! I’m a Bronco fan, been one since Elway was still at Stanford. My uncle has been a season ticket holder since the team was born in 1960 and my dad went to their first game ever, an exhibition over summer vacation as a teenager. I cry because Montee Ball scares the crap out of me. He could finish the day with 90 yards, 2 TD’s and 3 fumbles….OK, I’m over reacting. He only has three fumbles on the season and the first two were in September, but as they say, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” He’s been getting some playing time lately so we have a baseline to go with. Over the last 4 games he’s averaged 4 YPC, scored 3 TD’s on the ground and caught 6 balls. Dive deeper into that, he had two of those scores vs. the Chiefs in week 11 and we can reasonably expect 1TD and at least 65 yards and 4 catches against them this week. If Moreno is out, Ball’s a flex play in my book, if your league doesn’t have a flex spot then I suggest going on to your league message board and direct your commissioners over here so we can set them straight. We here at Razzball have no problem spreading the good word for proper format.

Last week our resident freestyler never showed up for his return performance. Egotistical rappers! I forgot to put out his bowl of green M&M’s and 6 blunts in the green room. I’m sensing a theme with him. Get out of your camper down by the river and show up Prezzi.

I hope everyone had a memorable Thanksgiving, good or bad, Please share your stories of heavy drinking, fights, delicious food and any small fires or ER trips.

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