JB Gilpin

Last Second Decisions – Avoiding A Thanksgiving Hangover

December 1, 2013 | Last Second Decisions | 131 Comments

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I hope everyone in Razzball Nation had a nice Thanksgiving!  I decided to buck the trend and roasted up Tehol’s chicken for my centerpiece.  Fingerlickin’ good!

So we’ve already had our three Thanksgiving games, and you’re all set with a round of leftovers for the rest of week 13.  You’ve got gravy all over one hand and turkey grease from the wing all over the other, and you’re just not worrying about looking at you line-up.  No one is on bye right?!  But with all teams now in action, it gives you a lot more line-up decisions.  A lot more “last second decisions.”  Hey, that’s the name of the article!  Yeah, I had nothing else better to run with in my Thanksgiving hangover.  My stomache feels like an ever-expanding mushroom [gravy] cloud of stuffing.  But I’m ready to go for today, ready to help you get into the playoffs, and ready for one last turkey sandwich while my Panthers wipe out da Bucs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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J-FOH

The Handcuff Report – Montee Ball says “Let’s Make a Deal”

November 30, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 34 Comments

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Oh how injuries make a man cry, no not the hurt guy, this guy….ME! I’m a Bronco fan, been one since Elway was still at Stanford. My uncle has been a season ticket holder since the team was born in 1960 and my dad went to their first game ever, an exhibition over summer vacation as a teenager. I cry because Montee Ball scares the crap out of me. He could finish the day with 90 yards, 2 TD’s and 3 fumbles….OK, I’m over reacting. He only has three fumbles on the season and the first two were in September, but as they say, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” He’s been getting some playing time lately so we have a baseline to go with. Over the last 4 games he’s averaged 4 YPC, scored 3 TD’s on the ground and caught 6 balls. Dive deeper into that, he had two of those scores vs. the Chiefs in week 11 and we can reasonably expect 1TD and at least 65 yards and 4 catches against them this week. If Moreno is out, Ball’s a flex play in my book, if your league doesn’t have a flex spot then I suggest going on to your league message board and direct your commissioners over here so we can set them straight. We here at Razzball have no problem spreading the good word for proper format.

Last week our resident freestyler never showed up for his return performance. Egotistical rappers! I forgot to put out his bowl of green M&M’s and 6 blunts in the green room. I’m sensing a theme with him. Get out of your camper down by the river and show up Prezzi.

I hope everyone had a memorable Thanksgiving, good or bad, Please share your stories of heavy drinking, fights, delicious food and any small fires or ER trips.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Nordmeier

Sawbones Scribings Week 13 – Le’Veon Got His Bell Rung

November 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Injury Report | 3 Comments

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Yesterday’s games left us with two thoughts. First, how are Le’Veon Bell and Rashad Jennings going to be for next week after suffering head injuries? Secondly, where’s the Pepto? I ate waaaaaay too much and it’s not sitting well. Even the turkey basted with butter every half hour that tasted like heaven.

Both of them looked wobbly at best coming off of the field. Bell’s hit looked harder since his head hit the turf after his helmet came off.

Jennings looked wobblier than Grandma’s Jell-o mold. They both had really good days but be glad they have extra days off before their next game. Look for reports on Wednesday of next week to clarify these two running backs.

Around the rest of the league we go in a short list form. Some us have to work the day after Thanksgiving, you know.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

The Three Servings Of Thanksgiving Night Football

November 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 84 Comments

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I am not gonna lie, I’m doing this the lazy way. I just spent the day watching football, cleaning house, watching more football, taking the dog for a walk, watching more football, drinking, watching, more drinking…well, you get the point. I’m gonna recap that which is recappable and ignore that which is recrappable. And sadly, there was much that could’ve gone in the pie hole today and instead came out another one. But that’s for the reviews and we ain’t there yet, we’re still talking in the opener soooo…um, welcome to your Turkey hangover I guess? I don’t know what else to say. I’m typing this pre-podcast with the crew over at Revelation Sports. Little to their knowledge, they’re getting me three beers in. Ok, I fib, I’m at about five and really I still have an hour to get a couple more in. I pray for all involved that I don’t say something stupid like ‘start all Green Bay Packer wide receivers’. That would really make me look drunk, right? Ok, I’m foreshadowing. Let’s antishadow and get this going. Here’s the three servings of Thanksgiving Night Football for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Carey

Bet the Farm: NFL Week 13 Betting Contest

November 28, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 9 Comments

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Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

  • You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
  • You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
  • Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
  • You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
  • Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
  • New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
  • New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 12:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Weekly Rankings: Victor Cruz Adds Some Salsa To Your Turkey Day

November 28, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 153 Comments

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True facts: I don’t believe there’s much variance this week to talk about. It’s like I ate some turkey earlier than you and passed out. Snore-o-rama up in this bish, right? It’s not very often I’m humbled into yammering about having a player like Victor Cruz up 8 in standard rankings over where everyone else has him. Reason? He’s usually backed up poor performances with pretty big games afterwards. Don’t believe me? Well you see, you’re on the internet reading this so you could probably just google it…hint, hint. It’s been a rocky year for the Salsa Dance man but I fully expect him to shine this coming Sunday. Overall, it was a hard week to rank. There are more Q’s in these than a Dairy Queen managers convention. Don’t ask. I have zero clue if that’s such a thing. Over in the world of QBs, Josh McCown drops by your top 5. He tells me to tell you hi. I guess I believe in EJ Manuel more than you while I’m at it. Nah, really just disbelieve the Falcons and their complete and utterly destructive 2013 season to date, especially on defense. At RB, Roughshod gets a top 10 nomination again and makes me wonder what he has to do to get respect at this point. Oh and Arizona is gonna give up some points to one of the Eagles TEs this week. Maybe both. But probably one…and I don’t know which one but I’m banking on Ertz if I’m making a choice to take a chance here. Defenses, it seems people are slowly becoming aware that Tampa Bay has finally shown back up. Think that Panthers vs Bucs game is gonna be a lot closer and defensively contested the whole way than people think. And finally, some quick gambling bits: Dennis Johnson could finally do what many have tried to in Texas do before and that’s sucede from the union. Marquise Goodwin and Justin Hunter are fringe WR3 players of note. Finally, I expect Colin Kaepernick to come back to Earth this Sunday. Kickers, as always, were ranked with love and care by some children we paid less than minimum wage to in a small, poorly ventilated room in a far off land. Don’t let their efforts be forgotten. And with that, let’s get this show on the road. Here’s week 13 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Loudon

Week 13 Players to Play/Avoid: When the Le’Veon Breaks

November 27, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 52 Comments

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For many fantasy football leagues, this is the week that decides whether or not you’re in the playoffs. The good news is that a lot of the top tier talent has fantastic matchups. Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles, Matt Forte, and Frank Gore were likely all taken in the first or early second round at the beginning of the season and if you were smart/lucky enough to draft them then, they are sure to guide you to victory this week. There are exceptions to that, of course, but you didn’t draft them quite as early.

Knowshon Moreno only gained 79 yards against Kansas City two weeks ago and this week he faces them again, this time nursing a bone bruise somewhere around his ankle. The injury doesn’t sound serious, but the matchup is. If you’re comfortable with 8 points from your RB2/3 then go ahead and start him, but don’t count on a huge week from the Denver feature back.

Le’Veon Bell is in a very similar position to Moreno. In week 7, he had less than 10 fantasy points against Baltimore’s tough run defense. This week he travels to Baltimore to face them again. He’s clearly the workhorse for the Steelers so he’s difficult to sit, but he’s unlikely for a score in a crucial week for fantasy teams.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

DraftKings – Chris Ogbonnaya Fails Us All!

November 27, 2013 | DraftKings | 6 Comments

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I hate you Chris Ogbonnaya!  Hate you so much.  Chris O-Bones was a hot pickup as a cheap RB for the PPR upside, but nooooooo…. Luckily with daily leagues, you can wipe the slate, officially never pick a guy again, and move on from your former tribulations.

We’re quickly approaching only a few weeks left until the WEEK 17 MILLIONAIRE FINALE, and I’m still eagerly trying to get my ticket on the cheap – so I’m rockin’ out in the $2 Fantasy Millionaire qualifier for Sunday’s games.  After feeling extremely confident last week and losing in a few other contests, I’m only sticking to the one lineup this time.  O-Bones be damned!  And if you’re jones-ing for DraftKings while watching on Turkey Day, there’s all sorts of contests just for the Thursday games to hop into.  So DraftKings it up and enjoy the Holiday!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Thinking Forward – The Getting Defensive Edition

November 27, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Thinking Forward | 99 Comments

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Well, you finally made it. Or you kinda made it. Still a week left and anything can happen until you get that asterisk next to your team name and unlike Barry Bonds, getting that asterisk next to it is a good thing. This is gonna be a potpourri post of sorts and by that I don’t mean it’s gonna smell like the insert in a Good Housekeeping magazine. I’m gonna touch on a few strategies as best I can. Unlike other Fantasy Football machine-driven sites, I’m the hard drive, the mother brain, the encrypted file to this whole Razzball rankings game we got going on. Which also leads me down paths some would fear to tread some weeks. I have my moments of striking gold but also moments of hitting my neighbor’s sewage pipe so let’s not freak too much the funk out if you disagree with my musings. But this is a DST post to end all DST posts so let’s not dawdle about. Here’s some playoff strategies for your playoff run for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Guru

Jam it or Cram it: Thanksgivings in the Razzball Lounge

November 26, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 46 Comments

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Welcome once again my fantasy friends to the Razzball Lounge. Every year at this time your Razzballin’ scribes gather together in the lounge for Thanksgiving in an effort to avoid the family, complain about our teams, knock back a few and give our thanks to the Fantasy gods on another season well played. It’s just like what the Pilgrims did – without the small pox and post-meal genocide. On this festive day we find our fearless leader Sky in a gravy stained wife-beater hugging the waitress and crying over the loss of his season because he drafted Doug Martin No. 1, “I wanna be your muscle hamster.” *SLAP* Sitting alone in a dark corner JB Gilpin enjoys his pumpkin pie and mutters again and again, “Cam Newton is the MVP, Cam Newton is the MVP.” Over at the jukebox is the one and only J-Foh, dropping quarters and playing “Alice’s Restaurant” for the 10th straight time, “You can get anything you want at…” *bottle smashes above head* Locked in the ladies room the one and only Tehol Beddict asks this pretty lady if she wants to see his giblets, “Whatever happens in the Razzball Lounge stays in the Razzball Lounge, right guys??” And standing here at the pool table is your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, sinks 8-ball off three rails, pulls wishbone from pocket* “Make a wish. It’s time to jam it or cram it.”

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

RCL Football Update: Week 12

November 26, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 10 Comments

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2013 RCL FootballAnother week of RCL action has concluded, and I finally bought an RCL win!  Brutal stretches of 0-3 in the Writers League and my RCL league had me singin’ da blues, but my Writers League squad has me back on track, at least somewhere in life…  While I won’t be in the RCL crown contention, if I finish near the top of the overall standings with a squad, I’ll be content.  Satiated.  Appeased.  You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: Well congratulations…  RCL’s version of the evil empire in Gtoxitis decided he wanted to get the top score this week, and lead my article and wrap-up to absolutely ruin my week.  You’ve ruined Thanksgiving!  I hope you’re proud… With 194.42 points led by Jamaal Charles and Flash Gordon, we must all hail Gtox our week 12 winner.  The win moves em to 10-2 and atop The Shadynastys looking like a lock for the #1 playoff spot.  In all seriousness, congrats to Gtox and their big win!

Please, blog, may I have some more?