JB Gilpin

Last Second Decisions – Breaking Mediocrity

October 13, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Last Second Decisions | 117 Comments

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Unfortunately I am not Bryan Cranston or Jessie Pinkman (he plays himself, right?) and I am not Breaking Bad.  Well I am in the Razzball Writer’s League!  Wait, by breaking bad I mean doing good.  Kinda the antithesis of my metaphor here.  Scrap that open – I’m too lazy to hold down delete though…

Whilst I break bad in the Razzball Writer’s league, I’m looking at a 4-1 then two 3-2 and two 2-3 teams.  I know you’re yelling at your computer, “I don’t care about JB’s leagues!”  But what I’m trying to get at is that week 6 is right when I want to be sure I’m breaking mediocrity.  If I’m below .500 heading into week 6 it means I’m 2-4 and probably toast.  Or 1-5 or 0-6, and only consuming alcohol.  So in those two 2-3 record leagues, I’m staring down the barrel of some really horrible matchups.  I feel like the Jags this week.

And if you’re looking for one the absolute sweetest blue ice fantasy contests this weekend, DraftKings still has an exclusive double up contest for us at Razzball that has a ton of spots open.  Easiest way to double your money you’ll find all weekend.  Unless of course, you want to risk working for Heisenberg – and by that I mean in ABQ not any of the RCL teams!  (Sky is going to get angry for using Breaking Bad references in my open since that’s his meth, isn’t he?  But I’m the one who knocks!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Andrew Nordmeier

Sawbones Scribings – Quintorris Has A Screw Loose

October 11, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Injury Report | 32 Comments

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After a short hiatus, the doctor is back. I’ve spent a bunch of time cuddling and loving with my new little boy. He’s 2 1/2 weeks old and all kinds of adorable. But enough about him. Let’s talk about Quintorris. Who the heck is that? Quintorris? And why does he have a screw loose? Quintorris […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?
J-FOH

The Handcuff Report – Ellington Orchestrating a Climb up the Charts

October 11, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 52 Comments

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If you haven’t yet, you better listen to the Duke and get on the “A” train, Andre that is. Andre Ellington has a role my fellow Razzballers. Bruce Arians says he’s a 30 play a game player because he doesn’t have the body type to handle being a “lead dog runner”. Can we pray for 20+ touches out of those 30 plays? I know this isn’t the best news, but what he does with those touches can be kinda magical. He’s averaging 6.7 YPC and 11.1 YPR (Yards Per Reception). Some might call him the change of pace back in Arizona, I call him the pace they should be at back. As of right now, he’s a PPR flex in the bye week and a possible starter based on match ups. Last week in a 1 point PPR league he scored 12.30 points. Not bad in my book. It’s a situation you need to keep tabs on. The kid has skills and who knows what Bruce’s game plan will be by week 10. This might be the guy that wins you a playoff match up when Mendenhall is done for the year by week 13 and Andre is the only guy worth handing off to in the desert. In Yahoo he’s 22% owned right now, I just picked him up for my friend in her league and that was confounding to me considering that Daryl Richardson hadn’t been dropped yet….yeah I don’t like Richardson.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
LT Murray IV

Hard Targets: Alshon Jeffery Turns the Tables and Undresses Saints

October 11, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Hard Targets | 17 Comments

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Greetings! Tis I, your servant, Tehol Beddict, here to talk some fantasy football and stimulate your minds. It seemed like Alshon Jeffery was untouched during the Bears losing effort against the Saints of New Orleans. I know what you’re thinking: ” Tehol, an attractive young man not being “touched” by a “Saint” is an oxymoron!” I know this to be true. I’ve dug oh so deep into the dark, crusty annals of our worlds history, and rarely have I read about a supposed “Saint” that wasn’t either a sexual deviant or just a disgracefully foul human being in general. If you doubt me, send your boys to Sunday school with no parental vision, just make sure they wear a wire. Does anyone even read my column? After this opening I’m guessing my readers just went from 2 to zero. Sky don’t edit this or I’ll show up at your front door with Bishop Eddie Long in tow, and you know what that means: A nice friendly game of “Butts Up.” Anyway, I know Jeffery didn’t follow up his record breaking performance this week with anything special, but the fact remains he is now heavily targeted and was missed on a few bombs last night against the Giants. This young bull has undoubtedly been blessed by the Elder God’s with immense size, talent, and stature. I can only imagine what he’s packin and I’m not speaking of weaponry. Although I suppose that could be considered weaponry as I’m sure it’s deadly when he uses it’s deep impact capabilities. Jeffery’s stat line from last week you want? Here it is: 10 receptions for 218 yards with a TD on 13 targets. Yea, he truly went Berzerk, and I’m not talking the horrific, embarrassingly bad, new Eminem song produced by that dirty old man, Rick Rubin. I’d start every week at the WR 3 spot or flex if I were you. But If I were you, then you’d be me, and you’d be betting oiled up with banana cream pudding with two female midgets licking it off for a hot new advertisement in Bangkok and telling me what to do with my fantasy roster. Again, nobody is really reading this far, right?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Turn Your Head And Coughlin

October 11, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 170 Comments

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Well, Thursday Night the New York Giants called their primary physician to see what their status was. They’re PP – I’m not touching this joke with a ten foot pole…the joke is a Giant’s PP…maybe you shouldn’t touch it either; might be infected – decided that because it was the NFC East that maybe they could just take another penicillin shot. I don’t care how much penicillin you take at this point, the problem still exists. Tom Coughlin has been a great coach. Well, ok, a good, so-so, ok great coach. But now you’re gonna talk to me about Super Bowl rings as your shining note, arncha? Well, here’s some math that might calm your nerves. One of these coaches has a record of 83-67 since 2004 since the 2004 season. The other, an 84 and 64 record since the same season. Both have 3 NFC East titles at this point in history. So what’s the difference? Super Bowls. Mainly, two of them. Tom Coughlin and his Giants can hang their hat on 2 SB rings while Andy Reid and the Eagles have none. Yet only one team has moved on from it’s coach. Fair? Given the 0-6 start to the Giants, it doesn’t matter whether it’s fair. What matter is, ‘what Giants are retainable vs trade-worthy’ and at this point, I’m considering all the receivers as buy lows. The defense is stopping nothing at this point, no reason to think the wide outs can’t benefit on some level. The RBs? Ehhhhh, not interested until Andre’s back. The QB? That…that is a question wrapped within an enigma trapped inside a riddle and folded up inside a used baby diaper. It was a night only an 0-6 team could muster and I’m pretty sure Tom Coughlin’s gonna be the scapegoat when this mess of a season is finally over. Is he partially to blame? Sure, his treatment of David Wilson was extremely poor given his other choices behind him. You don’t play mind games with your lead running back when he’s backed up by a guy nicknamed ‘Frankenstein’ but Coughlin isn’t the only problem in New York for this extremely overdone season. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Loudon

Week 6 Players to Play/Avoid: Big Day for Greg Little?

October 9, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 105 Comments

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With Julio Jones likely out for the season, now might be a good time to take a gamble on Harry Douglas or make a trade for either Steven Jackson or Roddy White if you can get them. When an offensive weapon like that goes down, the surrounding cast all has to step up to the plate. They all come with question marks, but considering how disappointing Atlanta has been this year, there’s a chance you could get one of them for a relatively low price. That all being said, Atlanta is on bye this week so be sure to factor that into your decisions.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

DraftKings – Time To Double Up

October 9, 2013 | DraftKings | 8 Comments

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Razzball Nation!  DraftKings is back, and if you haven’t won it big in any of the bigger DraftKings contests with a big field, there’s always tournaments running every Sunday with smaller prize pools and a better chance of winning.  DraftKings has given us a contest this week for Razzballers to double up in a $10 Double Up Contest where only 20 players enter and 10 leave with $20.  They’re obviously not making a profit on this one as it’s a lot like the Razzball exclusive contests we had this past year on Baseball.  So be sure to sign up and talk some smack come Sunday!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

The T-Rich Get Richer

October 9, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 240 Comments

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The course of true love never did run smooth. Some famous person said that. I can’t remember who. Yes, I have google but I also have a time limit as I’m trying to get ready for work, take a shower – did you just picture me naked? – drink my coffee, feed the dog…well, you get the picture. I got shizz going on but I do my best to keep you abreast….hehe, abreast…of what’s going on in the fantasy world while keeping you cultured. It’s a tough task. You’re not the easiest of pupil and you know that. But I digress, as stated, it truly does never run smoothly. Speaking of not running smoothly, that pretty much defines Trent Richardson and his owner’s seasons to date, no doubt. Starting off the season as the main bell cow for a so-so offense, T-Rich didn’t really do much with his time there, averaging 3.4 ypc netting zero touchdowns. Then when he got traded to a better offense, the people rejoiced only to see his underlying stats actually get worse (3.0 ypc and only 1 reception in 3 games). To say it’s been difficult being a Trent owner would be an understatement while saying ‘Fruit Of the Looms’ would be an underpants statement. There’s no point in there, stop looking in my underpants. The point being is that, for all his warts so far, Trent should begin trending upward and the Chargers game will and should be his break out. So check in with his owners and see if they’re willing to move on from him at this point. Though I don’t predict he’ll be the top 5 RB I saw him to be entering the season, I still see a top 10 in there based on the offense alone and I’m sure they’ll work him into the passing game a bit more as the season wears on. In other buy/sell ideas for week 6 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Guru

Jam it or Cram it: The Drunk and the Desperate Edition

October 8, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 106 Comments

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It was a thrilling, exciting, pant-tenting, almost sublime 30 hours of Fantasy Football binge watching. I need an afterglow cigarette. Following Sunday nights/Monday morning Raiders/Chargers late night tryst, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing only my Ken Stabler throwback trying to piece together what exactly went down and where I left my pants. I seem to remember having visions of Al Davis shaking hands with Hitler in Hell as he bragged about drafting Terrelle Pryor and I have a hazy recollection of Tony Romo throwing for 500 yards, pooping his tighty whities and blowing up the twitterverse. Before the blackout, I remember Tom Brady and Colin Kaepernick combining for less points than Ryan Tannehill and it may have been the Red Bull/Jager combo, but was there a David Wilson touchdown? These things happened, right? As the head begins to clear, it is time to examine our fake football rosters, take a long look in the mirror and face the cold hard facts – your team sucks and I have a drinking problem. Call it a fantasy intervention of sorts, but it is time to pull yourself up off of the cool bathroom tiles, dig deep into the waiver wire bargain bin and turn this season around or you’re going to find yourself bunking with Stephen Adler on Celebrity Rehab. It’s time to jam it or cram it. Anyone have some Advil, I gotta call my sponsor.

Please, blog, may I have some more?