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I hope for your sake that you were busy Monday night and unable to watch the Bears vs. Rams puke fest. Here’s how bad the game was: the undisputed player of the game was Rams’ punter Johnny Hekker. In all fairness to Hekker, the man can punt with the best of em. All five of his kicks pinned the aimless Bears offense inside the 10 yard line, and he booted a 63 yarder down there too. Needless to say, if you own Hekker in a punter league—I’m sure these actually exist—then you had a great fantasy night; unlike the rest of us. Fantasy Lord willing, this will be the last time I ever write an intro about a punter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Jared Goff – 23/33 for 219 yards and his 11th and 12th touchdowns. The Rams’ QB wasn’t terrible against a tough Bears’ defense and that’s about the nicest thing I have to say about any fantasy players from Monday night’s game. For what it’s worth, Pigskinonator isn’t a fan of Goff moving forward. He’s slotted in as the bot’s #22 QB next week against the Dolphins and it doesn’t get a lot better from there.

Darrell Henderson – 15 carries for 64 yards, 2 catches for 13 yards. It looked like Henderson may have gotten banged up late in the 3rd quarter. Unfortunately, instead of covering the possible injury on the broadcast the announcers instead talked about Sean McVay’s nut sack for ten minutes. But Henderson did return in the 4th quarter and he’s starting to look like a high-end RB2 with his apparently locked in workload. 

Malcolm Brown – 10 carries for 57 yards and his 3rd touchdown.  I saw the Rams’ 2nd round rookie Cam Akers (no touches) briefly on the field at one point. He was guy handing out the water. Gatoradeeeeee! As for Brown, this vultured TD was his first score since week 1, so don’t count on it turning into a pattern. Still, while unexciting, he could be a useful bye week fill in if you’re desperate.

Cooper Kupp – 6 catches for 43 yards, 1 carry for 16 yards. Ugh am I done writing about this game yet? Both Kupp and Robert Woods (3 catches for 22 yards, 4 carries for 23 yards and a fumble lost) had yawnstipating games.  In fact, Josh Reynolds (4 catches for 52 yards and his 2nd touchdown) was the only Ram receiver to post useful numbers. Kupp is my favorite buy-low wide receiver target this week. He hasn’t found the endzone in the last three games and over that time he’s only compiled 120 receiving yards. Kupp’s owner is likely at his wits end, use our free trade analyzer to craft the perfect buy-low offer.

Gerald Everett – 4 catches for 28 yards and his 1st touchdown. Tyler Higbee (hand)—I mean Higbust—was out this week, leaving Everett to absorb the lion share of the tight end work. If Higbust misses more time, Everett has some streamer appeal.

Nick Foles – 28/40 for 261 yards, no touchdowns and two interceptions. Who’s Da Bears’ 3rd string QB again?

David Montgomery – 14 carries for 48 yards, 5 catches for 21 yards. The Monty wasn’t full this week, but the five receptions at least may have appeased his PPR owners. I’m encouraged by the increased receiving work (16 receptions over the past three weeks) since Tarik Cohen (ACL) went down. Continue valuing Monty as a high-end RB2. 

Allen Robinson – 4 catches for 70 yards before leaving with a concussion in the 4th quarter. If ARob misses time in the protocol, rookie Darnell Mooney (3 catches for 40 yards) is an intriguing add after seeing 7 targets in this game and 26 targets over the past four weeks. It’s just too bad Foles is the one tossing those targets.

Jimmy Graham – 5 catches for 31 yards. Have to wonder if Graham was dealing with some sort of injury this week as rookie Cole Kmet (2 catches for 45 yards) got most of the work in the first half—the kid looked good too. Even Demetrius Harris (2 catches for 15 yards) seemed to get more work than Jimmy in the early going before they ramped the old timer up in the 4th quarter. Â