We are here today to point out the difference between the Razzball rankings and those that ESPN has released to the masses. The first difference you’ll probably notice is that there is no Mathew Berry in our rankings. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, I’ll let you decide. Because, hey, I’m just that kind of guy. Beyond that, well, ESPN certainly likes the color of red. RED EVERYWHERE. Well, touché, we also like a color. And that color is mustache, which is totally a color. Just ask Razzball founder Grey Albright. Sure, you could say that I’ve added some yellow to the palette, but then you’d be raycess. Now that the main differences have been established, we’ll move on to things that are more fantasy relevant, well, depending on the type of fantasy that is. Hey now. So after you clear your internet history, we’ll be comparing our rankings to that of ESPN’s. Get yer knives ready!
Tom Brady (QB6, +6) — While I don’t really have any affection for Dream Boat or his Ugs, I will say that last season doesn’t scare me away from ranking him inside the top-10. Yes, he threw for about 500 yards less and 9 touchdowns went missing from the stat sheet, but I’m willing to bet that had more to do with throwing to the likes of Kenbrell Thompkins, Aaron Dobson, and sinus reliever Zach Sudfeld PE®. Granted, if Shane Vereen, Rob Gronkowski, or Danny Amendola all put in 14-16 games, I’ll faint, but I’ll bet they show up more than they did last year. And for a QB that only needed 37 more points (depending on format) to finish in the top-5 last season, I don’t think I’m taking crazy pills here.
Philip Rivers (QB10, +4) — You could argue homerism, but I would probably recommend saving that for the Ryan Mathews blurb. I think my ranking here says more about the depth at QB this season more than anything. We’re essentially looking at the same system Rivers had last year, in which he thrived, and he didn’t lose any weapons at all. And while Malcom Floyd will be good for his usual season-ending injury by week 5, the o-line is improved, and Ladarius Green will see more targets. Barring injury, 4,000 yards and at least 30 touchdowns seem automatic at this point.
Colin Kaepernick (QB14, -5) and Russell Wilson (QB15, -5) — Kaepernick and Wilson get lumped together because it’s just too easy. They are both on run-heavy, defense-minded teams, and are both mobile to boot. Why we are bringing boots into this is anyone’s guess though. I get the argument of why they are ranked higher than where I have them, but the added rushing points don’t make up the fact that their passing numbers are pedestrian and both players can still be terribly inconsistent. No amount of boots or lumps can assist with that.
Ahmad Bradshaw (RB46, +27) — I don’t understand why everyone is so low on Bradshaw. Before he got injured, he was averaging 4.5 yards a carry and already had 7 receptions for 42 yards in just 3 games. Sure, you could say that Trent Richardson might rebound, but I’m just fine assuming he’s going to keep doing what he did last year, and that’s run two yards and then do nothing.
Ryan Mathews (RB7, +10) — Yeah, I guess I should explain myself. Don’t worry, I came prepared as I have already explained myself. Still, I’m pretty nuts. I’m okay with that, just as long as we’re talking pistachios.
Christine Michael (RB68, -22) — Ah yes, the hype is strong with this one. There are circumstances where I could see him being fantasy relevant, but I’ll stop believing in Marshawn Lynch when he stops producing.
Donald Brown (RB66, -19) — I’m of the belief that the only way that Brown will be fantasy relevant is if there is an injury to Ryan Mathews. And while that usually only happens some of the time all of the time, my ranking of Mathews doesn’t allow for such a thing to happen. So it has been said, so it has been done. Maybe.
Kendall Wright (WR14, +19) — In PPR leagues, Wright is already knocking on the WR1 door, but in standard leagues, all he needs to see is an uptick in touchdowns. As you can read here, I think that happens.
Steve Johnson (WR80, -29) and Anquan Boldin (WR53, -15) — While I consider Johnson to be a talented receiver, and Boldin not a talented receiver, both are in an offense that provides roughly 2 targets on average to all their receivers not named Vernon Davis. Well, okay, maybe 3 targets.
Greg Olsen (TE2, +5) — I find this ranking to be the easiest to defend. I just use him as a vehicle to post Elizabeth Olsen pics…
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
Dwayne Allen (TE13, +7) and Coby Fleener (TE35, -18) — I’m probably in the minority here, but Coby Fleener just is not very good. Allen should be the only Colts tight end you draft as he has size, good hands, is mobile, and a decent blocker. Fleener is the type of guy you find when searching the waiver wire for an inevitable week 5 Gronk injury.